I stood there, looking at Graverobbers coat, within arms reach. I could see the blue glow from underneath. It was so close, I could feel my veins begging for a hit. At the top of the staircase, I saw Graves walk across to the left wing, where Shilo's room was. It was just me and the coat now. I knew he had the gun in his jacket, I know where to shoot up, I could do it right now.
But some part of me was aware that it was wrong. Some little voice telling me that I can't possibly get better unless I resist. If I keep up this addiction, I'm going to end up just like that woman. A "goldmine" for a graverobber. Maybe even my Graverobber. Would he do that? Reduce, reuse, and recycle me? I couldn't imagine it, he told me he cares, and I knew that was true. He told me he wants me off the stuff, and who knows what could happen for us if I could quit? I would be more than some Z whore, we would spend time together without it being a business deal. Would he still want me around after, though? He operates alone, but if he really didn't care about me, he wouldn't want me off Zydrate, he would want me as a costumer. I realized I was clutching to the banister for dear life. If I let go, my body wouldn't let me walk away from this chance. I wanted the Zydrate so badly, my head was spinning. Breathing started to hurt, there was an enormous weight in my chest. I had to decide.
I ran up the stairs as if the Zydrate could attack me by itself, I forced my legs to bring me to Shilo's room. It's better to go to Graverobber as a shaking, sweaty mess than him finding me high after stealing his Zydrate. He'll help me, maybe even be proud of me for resisting. Shilo's door was only cracked open, not wide like it was before. I tentatively pushed it open, maybe Shilo was changing…
Shilo wasn't changing, but she was most certainly undressed. What I could see of her, anyway. My view of her was obstructed by a naked Graverobber on top of her, right on Shilo's bed. There were little gasps of pain and pleasure from Shilo as she lay on the bed, Graverobber taking control of the situation. Not the same way he had with me, he was being gentle and sweet. "Relax." He told her, and he kissed her, gently. Neither of them had noticed me. I stood, glued to the spot for a second, taking in the situation and turned on my heel, and headed for the next best thing. I could feel tears start to well up and the intense sting it came with. Part of the price to pay for GeneCo eyes, though I more than anything wanted to just rip them out.
I took the most expensive vial. The first one taken from the first woman we extracted from. The glow of the Z was so bright, it was almost white. I fumbled around for his gun and found it hooked up on the inside of his jacket, where it would go right over his chest.
I inserted the vial, aimed, and shot, right into my arm. The familiar pinch of the needle, the warmth that greeted my arm was spreading throughout my body. Somehow I still didn't feel any better. The sensation was scary, not calming like it usually is. I was out of control, extremely vulnerable. This was a stupid, stupid idea. If Pavi were to find me, I wouldn't even be able to fight him off. I was easy, stupid prey. He could be here right now, and Graverobber and that girl would be too busy fucking to even think about where I might be. By that time, my face could be hooked onto Pavi's, my body discarded. My shaking was becoming unbearable, I could hardly stand, my uneven breathing was getting worse and I could feel myself tearing. In a fit of anger and frustration, I took the rest of the Zydtrate vials and threw them across the room one by one. The glass smashed and the blue liquid spilled across the floor. I didn't care about how much that would cost Graverobber, I was too angry with him to care. Not even just for sleeping with Shilo, but for getting me hooked on this God-awful thing in the first place. I had to get rid of the Zydrate that was around me, I couldn't handle it taunting me sitting there innocently in little vials, inviting me with it's soft glow. The last vial, I ended up crushing in my hand, I was holding it too tightly. I paid little mind to the shards of glass that penetrated my hands. I felt almost deserving of the pain, I nearly welcomed it.
The sound of shattering of the glass must have gotten the attention of Graverobber and Shilo, who came rushing out from the top of the staircase, fully clothed but disheveled. I didn't notice until then that I was on the floor, shaking too harshly to stand anymore. I lay in a pile of glass, Zydrate and blood, looking pathetic and weak. Graverobber flew down the staircase to my side, "What the fuck did you do?" he growled at me, lifting me onto his lap, off the glass. Shilo walked down the staircase looking incredibly upset, almost in tears, and Graves was picking the large shards of glass from my skin asking me what happened. I blacked out before I could answer him.

The room was poorly lit when I woke up, just candlelight. I was laying on a table on my back. I blinked a few times and looked around. It looked like an office space, a desk, a small television, a few chairs. It was warm and unfamiliar and I was immobilized by aching muscles. I started to panic until I was met with the sight of Shilo, who came rushing over to me.
"She's up!" She announced over her shoulder. Graverobber came up from behind her and looked down at me.
"About fucking time." He said harshly. It occurred to me that I was on some sort of operating table. There were metal wrist restraints by my head and ankle ones by my feet. I was unattached but too sore to move. Shilo gave me a hug,
"We were so worried about you!" she said. Everything that led up to my relapse came flooding back to my memory, the reason I went rushing to the Zydrate in the first place, when I was so close to victory against it.
"I'm sure you were." I said dryly. Shilo took a step back as if afraid I was going to punch her. I might of, if I hadn't been so damn sore.
"Zella… I'm really-" Shilo began
"Don't apologize." Graverobber ordered her, "Go in the other room, Shilo, I need to talk to her." Shilo listened, and walked off, ashamedly to the other room. Graverobber sat by my side staring at me with his Zydrate colored eyes for some time. I met his gaze and refused to break the contact first.
"What's up, doc?" I asked bitterly
"I am trying very hard to not smack you right now, so do us all a favor and don't push me to it." He said sternly, "You're a fucking idiot."
"And you're a fucking pedophile." I retorted, trying to sit up with difficulty. Surprisingly, Graves helped me up, but kept his angry tone.
"She's of age. And you don't own me, Zella, I don't know what the fuck you were thinking."
"Apparently the wrong thing."
"And what exactly is that thing?" he asked with a raised eyebrow
"That maybe you liked me. That maybe I was enough for you or something. That maybe you cared about me and that when you said you'd do "anything" for me, that might have included not fucking another girl!" I snapped. "But like you said- I'm just a fucking idiot." Graves took a moment to take that in and his face softened.
"You're not an idiot." He said softly, "Well, sort of. You did steal my Zydrate and smashed all the other vials-"
"I'll pay you back for it." I said quickly, just wanting this conversation to end.
"That's not what this is about, Z. What if you overdosed?"
"Then I wouldn't have to be here talking to you about this." That made him crack a smile, but for just a second.
"I was fucking worried about you. You could have died. I walk out and see you covered in blood with shards of glass everywhere with Zydrate all over the floor… For a second I thought you were trying to kill yourself."
"Don't flatter yourself, you're not that big a deal."
"Agreed. And I guess part of it was my fault for bringing the Zydrate along in the first place. I thought that maybe if you saw the actual process of getting it, that might scare you away from the stuff, I never thought it could be a trigger." He said softly, "And for that, I apologize." He didn't mention being sorry for screwing Shilo but the fact that he did hung between us.
"Why did you do it?" I asked him with more curiosity in my voice than anger. His reaction was less docile,
"By 'it', do you mean Shilo?" he asked
"Well yeah, I just-"
"Jesus, I told you before, Z, you don't own me. We fucked a couple of times, once was a business deal and the other-"
"Wasn't even four hours before you were back at it again." My temper jumped right back up, "And with her, really? Of all peop-"
"What's wrong with her? And who are you to judge anyway?" Graverobber snapped, not to be outdone
"You're a piece of shit, she's only seventeen-"
"Coming from a drug addict-"
"Coming from a drug dealer-"
"I'm not even-"

Our arguing and yelling had drowned out any sound of Shilo coming into the room, until she shouted herself:
"GUYS!" she yelled loud enough to get both of our attentions, "You're being ridiculous about this!" She came over to where we were sitting, suddenly seeming very much like an adult, "Zella, I'm really sorry about what happened, you said you didn't love him, and I guess I took that the wrong way. I wouldn't have done that if I knew you really did. And Graverobber, I know you care about Zella, because you're protecting her from Pavi and you carried her here and took out all the glass from her arms, and didn't leave her for hours to make sure she was okay. You weren't even mad that she took your drugs. You obviously do care about each other but all you do is scream and you two are just so annoying." She said, fed up, and returned to the other room. For the first time, in a long time, the both of us were speechless.
"Well, she grew up quickly." Graves commented after Shilo slammed the door behind her.
"Do you think she's sort of right though?" I asked
"About us being annoying? Speak for yourself-"
"You know what I mean." I said sternly.
"Oh. About all the caring shit."
"Yeah, the caring shit." We sat in silence a little longer. Eventually Graves put his hand lightly on mine,
"I was telling the truth, Z. I really do care about you... I'm just not good at it."
"Well, it'd be unfair to call myself an expert in the area…" I compromised.
"Good. Then we're both gonna fuck up a bit. I can handle that." He said with a smile. And then he kissed me. Not for a very long time, and there was no hair grabbing, or lip-biting. He didn't mount me on the table, or try to take my bra off, he just softly kissed me, and broke away. It was one of the most intimate things I had ever experienced, and it was with a drug dealer on top of an operating table. I was left speechless again, so I instead opted for hugging him. I lifted my sore arms and put them around his neck, his arms wrapped around my back. His body felt big and strong and protective against mine and that somehow didn't scare me. I could have fallen asleep; I wanted to treasure the innocence of the moment, when Shilo returned into the room. We broke away, but not hastily.
"You guys figure everything out yet?" She asked, "I haven't heard any screaming, I didn't know if you just killed eachother."
"No, but there's been some progress." Graves said, amused by her parental tone.
"So, wait, where are we exactly?" I asked, remembering I was laying on a gruesome looking operating table "And how long has it been since I passed out?"
"This, " Shilo said, taking a seat across the room, "Is my dad's old office. It's under the house. He was a RepoMan." She said, explaining the table, "We found it behind the fireplace in the foyer. It seemed safe in case we had to hide for whatever reason, so Graves carried you here and helped nurse you back to health. It's only been a few hours."
"About seven." Graves specified.
"Damn. Well, thanks. For the nursing back to health thing." I said to Graves.
"Don't mention it. Especially if you're going to use the term 'nursing'." He said. Shilo giggled.
"So… what do we do now?" I asked.
"Well, you're conscious. And I'm starving. So, let's go get some food, shall we?" Graverobber clapped his hands together and helped me down from the table, still a little sore from the Zydrate.
The three of us went up a set of stairs that led to where the foyer was, but on the other side of the passage, the three of us heard voices. Above the door was a security camera that showed the front of the house. Right in front of the staircase, where there were still glass shards and Zydrate smashed on the ground, stood two GeneCops and Pavi Largo. I gasped in terror and clapped my hands over my mouth. Graverobber and Shilo watched the screen intently.
"And she was obviously here." Said one of the GeneCops gesturing to the mess on the floor, "Probably got high and ran away."
"But-a why the blood?" Pavi pondered, kneeling by the puddle of my blood and Zydrate, dipping his middle finger into it, as if it were just water, "I wonder if she is hurt."
"Well, we checked the house and she isn't anywhere to be found." Said the other GeneCop, "Hurt or otherwise."
"Look again." Pavi said simply and stood up to his full height, "Everywhere. You said you-a saw her in a graveyard?"
"Yes, sir. With a graverobber and some young boy. We saw them take Zydrate and leave, but we lost sight of them. We would have caught them in the graveyard sir, but you told us you wanted to be the one to catch her yourself."
"Si, I intend to." Pavi purred. "And on second thought, don't search the house again. It wouldn't be very much fun for-a me to find her quite yet. In fact, I hope she is hiding somewhere in this house right now, I hope she can hear me and-a knows that she cannot escape..." Pavi looked at the finger he had dipped in the puddle and rubbed it against his thumb, "The blood had-a better not come from her face, I want my new mask to be perfecto. Not that I won't wear it con orgoglio, with pride, regardless. It has been a while since my last hunt, I forgotten how much I missed it." Pavi led the GeneCops out the front door of the house, obviously smashed open,
"For the moment, gentlemen, my Zella may rest. She will need it." Pavi said, and I'd place money that he turned to the exact camera that was showing this.