Chapter 8
Of Tears, Tasks and Terrifying Floating Heads
Thats how we laugh the day away
with a ah-ha-ha
a-ha-ha
a-ha-ha
a-ha-ha
a-ha-ha
a-ha-ha
a-ha.....
A burst of light and a following roar caused the Ozians to shriek and fall back, gasping in suprise. The Witch had appeared overhead, seated firmly on his broom, looking down on the people below with barely contained glee at seeing them so helpless and afraid.
The Lion had wrapped his arms around the Tinman's waist and buried his head in his arms. His muffled voice shook as he tried to speak.
"Who's t-that?"
Romano trembled slightly but attempted to look calm and composed. "It's the fucking Witch! He must have been following us."
The Scarecrow walked forward to get a better look, the only one seemingly unperturbed by the Wicked Witch.
"I think he's writing something with all that smoke!"
Romano cocked his head sideways to read the slanted words.
"Sur-ren-der my - dear -little Roma- HEY!" Romano glared daggers at the Witch. "What the fuck are you playing at? Nobody calls me dear. NOBODY!" He strode forward and picked a rock up off the ground, circling his arm a few times before flinging it at the Witch with all the force he could muster. The Witch let out a shout as the rock hit him and threw his arms into the air angrily, disappearing with a flash, rose petals floating to the ground in his wake.
Murmurs began to spread amongst the crowd of gathered Ozian's, the rumours and noise increasing steadily.
"Romano, who's Romano?
"Who was that in the sky?"
"I've never heard of someone called Romano"
"What type of name is Romano?" (To which Romano promptly knocked that man out)
"Is Romano the name of the Witch's boyfriend?" (This man was punched as well)
"The Wizard will explain it!"
"To the Wizard"
"To The Wizard!"
"The Wizard!"
The crowd began to surge forward franticly, asking for answers. Romano and the others followed closely, just as eager to see the Wizard, Romano still fuming in embarrassment from the Witch's remark. The Scarecrow wasn't helping much either, adding 'darling Romano" every time he said his name. The Guard appeared before them, holding his hands out to halt them in their tracks.
"Everything is fine, stop that now just – every--- it's all right! Everything is under control. The Wizard will see to it that everyone is safe and that all matters are taken care of. You can all go home now. Go on!"
The Guard sighed in relief as most began to wander slowly but uncertainly back to their houses.
"Thats it go home, I-I—" he paused, noticing that Romano and the others still remained, staring defiantly at him.
Romano looked at him insolently. "Were not gonna give up that easily." The Tinman glared at him from his fierce cobalt eyes, nodding in accord.
The Guard sighed again, looking a bit ruffled. "I'm sorry but, I'm not allowed to let anyone in. That's my orders!"
Romano stamped a foot impatiently and the Scarecrow grumbled something about just getting his nails done for this.
The Guard shook his head, remaining firm.
The Lion, wrung his paws. "Please, just let him see Romano at least." Romano felt an overwhelming amount of happiness towards the Lion at that and gave him a rare smile. The Lion smiled shyly back, while the Tinman looked from one to the other with an expression of pure dislike.
The Guard froze, "Romano as in, the Witch's Romano?"
The Scarecrow grinned. "The Witch's dear little Roma-"
"Shut up dammit!" Romano muttered angrily.
The Guard smiled at them. 'Well, you should have said so before! Just wait here for a moment and i'll go see what I can do."
He winked at Romano and disappeared into the palace. Romano crossed his arms and hung his head to conceal his rapidly flushing face.
"Thank god someone has finally got some fucking commonsense."
The Scarecrow did a small twirl, his skirt floating happily in the air.
"I'm going to get a brain!" he exclaimed in a sing-song voice.
"And me, a heart" the Tinman said, his eyes dancing joyfully.
"And I, I will be King of the Forest!" said the Lion with a proud smile. He began to pace around the group, head thrown back as though he were indeed royalty and his voice sung out.
If I were King of the Forest
Not queen, not duke, not prince
My regal robes of the forest
would be satin, not cotton, not chintz
Romano frowned. "What the hell is chintz?" The Tinman shrugged.
I'd command each thing
Be it fish or fowl
With a woof and a woof
And a royal growl - woof
The Scarecrow jumped as the Lion turned and directed the last growl at him.
As I'd click my heel
All the trees would kneel.
And the mountains bow
And the bulls kowtow
And the sparrow would take wing
- If I - If I - were King!
The Tinman began to walk behind him as though he was part of a Royal Guard, hands by his side stiffly, jaw set firmly, and Romano couldn't help but think that he would make a perfect guard. He was damn scary enough. The Scarecrow grabbed a bundle of the rose petals that the Witch had left behind and began to scatter them before the still pacing Lion. Romano just watched on in disbelief, the absolute weirdness of the whole land of Oz never ceasing to amaze him.
Each rabbit would show respect to me
The chipmunks genuflect to me.
Though my tail would lash
I would show compash
For every underling!
If I - If I - were King!
Just King!
He proclaimed these last words loudly and punched a fist dramatically into the air. Romano decided that it would be best to burst his bubble.
"So, you wouldn't be afraid of anything huh?"
The Lion shooks his mane. "Nope. Absolutely nothing."
"What about a rhinoceros?" the Scarecrow ventured, shivering as though just thinking about the horned beasts would give him nightmares.
The Lion waved his accusation away. "Imposerous!"
Romano snorted. "Yeah, cause that's a word."
The Tinman frowned. "Hippopot'mus?"
"I would thrash him from top to bottomous!"
Romano was choking on his own laughter by now as an idea flickered across his mind and he walked right up to the Lion and whispered into his ear.
"You wouldn't even be scared by the Tinman?"
The Lion leapt back and threw a glance at the expressionless man behind him. He inhaled and regained his composure.
"No"
Romano was quite thankful to see the guard re-emerge, not to see the actual man himself of course, but if nothing had interrupted them soon he might have died from laughter.
"I'm sorry but, the Wizard won't see you. You need to go away now." He gave them an apologetic smile.
Romano stomped forward and glared at him, brown eyes only a breath away from green.
"What-the-fuck" he said accentuating each word.
"Are you fucking brain-dead! I am not leaving this blasted town until I see this damned Wizard that everyone is talking about. Don't you fucking tell me to go away you piece of shit!"
The Guard seemed quite taken aback at Romano's outburst but pushed the fuming Italian away gently.
"I'm sorry" he repeated, "but the Wizard has spoken and he won't change his mind." He turned away and walked back into the palace.
Romano kicked the door angrily behind him.
"Fuck that stupid bastard!" He exhaled heatedly and dropped to the ground. A sniffling sound caught his attention and he looked up to see the tears falling from the Scarecrow's eyes.
"I'm never going to get a brain now!" he wailed, obviously unashamed about crying so openly in front of the others.
Romano opened his mouth to say something rude but shut it again, wary that he really wasn't good in situations like this.
The Scarecrow was sobbing harder now, arms slung around the Lion's waist who was just patting his head awkwardly.
"I totally don't wanna go back to the field! I want to be smart and..I like, just want people to actually respect me! Just because I like, talk funny sometimes and I wear girls clothes doesn't mean anything! And then I would like, so shock people with all my knowledge. I'd be way too cool. And now it's never gonna happen!" The Scarecrow buried his head into the Lion's shoulder, his body shaking with each sob.
Romano blinked in disbelief at him. Who know that ditzy man actually had feelings. He fell back a little as the door he was leaning on opened again and the Guard emerged, his eyes puffy and red from crying.
"Don't cry Scarecrow! I-I'm sorry. I'll get you in, I'll make sure of it."
Romano looked at him in shock. "And you couldn't have done that before!"
The Guard just ignored him and beckoned for them to follow him inside, the large doors shutting silently behind them as they walked into the emerald chamber of the Great Oz.
The Lion halted in his tracks suddenly.
"Ahhh- guys, I'm not actually sure I re-really want to see him. I think I'll just wait outside..."
He began to creep back towards the door but both the Tinman and Scarecrow grabbed him firmly by his arms and began to march him towards the glowing green light at the far end of the room.
The Lion let out a small gasp.
"What's wrong now?" Romano asked, any sliver of sympathy he may have had completely exhausted.
"Somebody pulled my tail!"
Romano rolled his eyes. "You idiot, you did it yourself."
The Lion grinned sheepishly. "Ahh, I see..."
The Guard waved them over to the back of the room where there was a large collection of pipes, smoke pouring out so that the room was covered in a constant green haze.
"The Wizard will see you know" he said.
Romano leapt back in shock as a large, what seemed to be floating, head appeared amidst the whirling smoke. The Wizard was actually much younger than Romano had expected, thinking he would be an old wizened man. He had a childish face so the frown he was giving the group didn't seem to suit him very well at all. A pair of rectangular glasses were perched on his nose and a curl stuck out oddly on top of his head.
"Umm- err, Hi...sir, I'm Romano and I wanted to ask-"
"SILENCE!" the Wizard roared. Anger really did not match his appearance. Romano wondered briefly if he was just acting powerful. The Lion whimpered softly and clung desperately to the Tinman, even the Tinman's joints were rattling in fear.
The Wizard yawned suddenly surprising everyone. "This all powerful image really doesn't suit me too well hey?"
Romano was too astonished to realise that this was exactly what he had been thinking.
"Err, no?" he said softly.
The Wizard frowned at him. "Well I am actually all powerful ya know? I mean, I'm the most awesome one there is!" He winked at them and flashed a bright smile.
Romano stared at him astounded to which the Wizard burst into laughter.
"God, you should see the look on your faces! Anyways, why are you here? I really didn't want to be bothered right now. I'm in the middle of eating! He sent a gare at the Guard who just shrugged helplessly.
"Ahh well, I want to go home."
"And I really want a brain!"
"And me some courage and him a heart!"
The Wizard looked incredulously at them and smiled. "You guys are pretty determined. I don't really mind helping you."
The Lion smiled happily having relaxed a fair bit.
"The Brittania Angel said you'd help us!"
The Wizard snapped his attention to the Lion suddenly. "What? You talked to Arthur?"
Romano wrinkled his nose. "Yeah, that fucking awful angel almost attacked me"
The Wizard chuckled again. "I like you" he said with another winning grin. "Arthur can be a bit.... hard to take sometimes. Trust me I know. He hasn't been talking me for ages after we had that fight."
"Well i'm glad somebody else finds him annoying. Those idiotic munchkins seemed to be dedicated to his every word!" Romano scoffed.
The Wizard nodded in approval. 'I know, I know. I really don't get what they see in him."
The Scarecrow coughed loudly. "Are you guys like, done having your little bitch session yet?
The Wizard nodded again. "Sure. Okay then well, first, I want you guys to prove your worth by performing a task."
"Haven't we done enough fucking things to get here!"
Shaking his head the Wizard looked at Romano. "Hey, magic actually takes alot of work so you either prove that I should be bothered to do anything for you or just go away. Plus, If I just gave out my magic all the time to anyone who came in here I would become magically deprived."
Romano grumbled to himself, trying to work out the logic behind magic deprivation as the Wizard continued.
"Bring me the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West."
Romano choked on air. "What! You want me to go willingly near that psychotic man!" The others nodded avidly in agreement.
The Wizard just shrugged as though it didn't really bother him. "Bring me that broom and i'll get you what you want."
They began to walk away, their footsteps echoing loudly in the chamber.
"Oh and one more thing!" They all turned back. "If you see Arthur.." he hesitated for a moment, looking guilty, "Tell him that his scones don't actually taste like shit."
Romano bit back laughter but sobered as he remembered what he had to do to go back home.
"Sure thing oh great one" he said with a smirk as he turned and walked out of the smoky chamber.
A/N : Hey guys! Im-a-back with an update after hibernating for what seemed like a century. I was kind disheartened that I didn't get any reviews last chapter. ;A; But that's okay, feel free to redeem yourselves with this chapter. xDD I want to finish this story but, I get sidetracked so easily, especially as i'm writing another story at the moment which is so, so long and i'm really getting into it. But I haven't forgotten this story yet! Go forth and review my lovely readers!