Don't judge me.

Disclaimer: No. If I was Masashi Kishimoto, I wouldn't be writing this, now would I?

Sorry Sasuke. I hate you. Don't feel bad. The only person that loves you is Sakura, and she only thinks she loves you. Sasuke fangirls don't kill me. Sasuke doesn't have the ability to realize a good thing if it bites him in the butt. Take dat!

Now, I am pleased to announce, The Sasuke that Stole Christmas! I was watching The Grinch that stole Christmas when I got the idea for this. Once again, don't judge me. Oh, and I don't own the Grinch.

And this is a onetime thing, so I'll allow anybody to steal Kazumi. Not Sora though. He's my bud :3

"It was the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creat-"

"What are you talking about?! We shouldn't be reading this to the kids!" Sasuke exclaimed to Sakura. Her, being his wife (**I do support SasuSaku, even though it will never happen, unless Masashi decides to put romance into a shonen manga.), she should know that he hates The Night before Christmas. It was their first Christmas where someone other than Sasuke could gloat about having the Sharingan.

Kazumi, Sasuke's eight-year-old daughter, looked from her mother to her father, worry marking her face and her dark pink hair making a swishing sound. She was as 'cute as a button', as Sakura said. Sora, ten years and Sharingan possessor, criss-crossed his legs and folded his arms across his chest. His eyes flashed red with annoyance.

"Well, I happen to like it. So back off Mr. I-hate-a-happy-Sakura!" Sakura said indignantly. He smirked. You gotta love her.

"Well, I happen to know a better Christmas story." Sasuke said, proudly. Kazumi shook her head. Her dad wouldn't know a good story if it bit him in the butt. Sora, incidentally, also thought the same thing. Their parents often questioned themselves if they had ESP or something.

"Would you just let mom finish the story? She's not gonna let me leave to eat candy until she does." Kazumi grumbled. She needed her candy. Preferably chocolate, in the shape of snowmen.

"I second that motion." Sora said, no mistaking the irritation in his voice. He had to go meet Aoi, Naruto and Hinata's daughter, tomorrow and he didn't want to miss it. If he stayed up too late, he'd sleep in… Sora started hyper-ventilating.

Sasuke's eyes widened. 'Oh dear God.' He knew exactly why his son was panicking. His son loved Aoi. It was kinda funny. Their names together meant blue sky. 'I think the dobe intended that.' Sasuke thought, sighing.

"Alright. Sakura shut that book. I'm going to tell the story." Sasuke said very demandingly. (WTF?! Sasuke the Emo King is reading a Christmas story? The world will end.) Sakura shut the book. It was a lost cause when he used that voice.

"Alright, Sasuke. Tell the story. And I'll make you a little bet," Sakura said, smiling a devilish grin, "If you can make Sora laugh, I'll let you have whatever you want. I win, and you have to give me a spa day." Sora made a retching noise. Once again, he was being used in a bet. Could life get any worse?

"Fine. Alrighty then. I shall begin by announcing the story!" 'God, he can be lame' Kazumi thought. "The story is called, The Sasuke that stole Christmas. Ready?" Kazumi had already burst out laughing. 'This won't be too hard.' Sasuke thought. "Here we go"

(The story will not have quotations and/or interruptions outside of story quotations. Just felt like saying this so you don't get confused: 3 Oh, and with only a few alterations, I will try to make it sound like the Grinch that stole Christmas. DON"T SUE ME WHOEVER MADE THE GRINCH!! Oh wait, that's dr. suess…)

Once, in the village of Konoha, there lived a ninja.

Now see, he wasn't any ordinary ninja. He was an Uchiha. And his name, was Sasuke

Because he was different, nobody liked him. He lived in a lonely little house on the edges on the village.

Now, Sasuke hated Christmas. He hated it because nobody ever brought him presents or spent time with him. This, in turn, made him hate the citizens of Konoha.

Now, this seriously conflicted with the population of Konoha. They loved Christmas. They would exchange gifts to everyone and everybody. Except the one they called, The Grinch. That, was Sasuke.

Now, Sasuke was going to hatch a plan. He was going to steal Christmas!

He made a coat of red velvet, a hat, and a beard. (WTF. Sasuke in a white beard. PICTURE IT! I dare you! ;3) He made a sleigh, but what he was missing, were reindeer. He searched all over, but found none. He settled for a single stray dog, although grudgingly.

Twas' the night before Christmas, and all through the village, presents were being stolen without anyone knowing.

But, once Sasuke got to the Haruno residence, that would change.

Little Sakura was came into the 'tree room' when she saw someone taking away the tree!

"What're you doing, Santa?" she asked innocently.

"I'm, uh, taking the tree to my, uh, workshop. It's… broken. I'm, uh, going to fix it." The fake Santa said.

"Well, make sure you visit Sasuke. He needs something to cheer him up!" She smiled before going into the kitchen.

He stood there stunned. Someone cared. Oh well. He had to stuff to do. Like ruining Christmas… and stuff.

And then Sasuke had everything presents, and stockings, and tree's piled by the local ravine. He would push it all in and walk away. Without a second glance. Yeah.

But standing there, he thought about Little Sakura. She had cared about him. Dawn came.

He could hear the sobs of all the little kids lamenting about lost presents. He could hear the excuses the parents made, without really knowing what happened.

People say that Sasuke didn't like the noise, and brought everything back to make it stop.

Truth is, his heart grew three sizes that day. (Rule #'t Judge Me) All because the loudest cry of all, was Little Sakura.

"What're you doing, Sasuke-kun?" she asked, standing behind him. He jumped when he heard the pinkette's voice. "Why are you taking all the presents?" (Next part is real cheesy. But hey, where would fanfiction be if they weren't cheesy? :3)

"I…don't know. I hated how you always celebrated Christmas…" He said, trying to fill his voice with venom (XD He's a snake-dude. Get it??), but not succeeding.

She stood on tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

"I'll celebrate Christmas with you." She said. Together they brought everything back to the village and lived happily ever after.

(Okies, if it sounded like the Grinch, tell me. I tried to make it cheesy and good.

"The End." Sasuke said. Sakura clapped sarcastically. Kazumi eyes were wide. Sasuke's head drooped. He couldn't make his son laugh.

And that's when Sora laughed. Hysterically.

"Ha!"

Hmm… I know. It sucked. But it was funny right?? Right?? *REMINDER* REMEMBER TO REVIEW!!! It'll make me feel better. Plus, you're reviews might give me inspiration for the book I'm writing. Oh, and could someone tell me if they've read a book with five chappies or less? Sankyou~ and I know it's not Christmas!!