Bpov

"Hey what happened to our Dads?" I asked as the door opened.

"They're up in Oregon until these guys leave and when the mom's here they'll go back." Edward whispered and I nodded.

Great so no Dads, well none besides Carlisle anyway. God, he'd be sad about the lack of fatherly respect from that.

"Hello, you guys are the Cullens am I correct. Well I am the producer of wife swap..." The guy out front with silvery blonde hair announced more so then asked. And of course he dragged on for ages.

"I thought your form said you only had 5 children?" The producer asked glancing at us all strangely.

"Oh um... This is Bella and she is my good friend Charlie's daughter who is staying with us for the summer." Carlisle said waving me up font to where I stood in front of the man.

"Is there anywhere else she can go, I mean we have a couple like photo arrangements, like how you stand and such already planned and the other mom thinks you guys only have five children." The producer ranted.

"I do have a couple other options I guess I could go call Mr. Masen." I said giving a light forced smile before heading to the house phone, and I knew all of the Cullens were in shock that I didn't hold my stance or anything.

"Good so I guess that's solved now pictures!" I heard the guy announce and there was a bit of bickering about something. And of course the second I picked up the phone to call Edward sr. the other Edward snatched my arm.

"You're family!" He said trying to calm himself down as he grabbed the phone from me and dragged me outside to be in the picture.

"God Damn it! I thought she was leaving!" The producer said pointing me out to Carlisle who just shrugged saying I was family so deal with it.

"Bella come out beside the uh.. big guy... ah! Emmett!" He said satisfied with himself for figuring it out. I sighed and walked over in the front yard beside Emmett. And they took a photo and some camera views of us.

"This is so stupid!" I whispered to Emmett as they insisted upon seeing all of our rooms and here about our lives.

"So Bella where's your room?" The camera guy asked me questioningly.

"Actually Esme's been in the process of redecorating the guest rooms so I'm rooming with Edward." I told him motioning over to the spotless room that of course had to belong to Edward.

"Where do you sleep, it's not for the camera but I'm wondering..." the guy led off but I just gave him a weak smile.

"We alternate between him on the couch and me on the bed, to me on the couch and him on the bed." I explained and he nodded.

"So what's it like living with the Cullens?" He asked in an interview tone.

"It's great, I mean I've known them my whole life so I wouldn't be able to say I knew life without them. But I have a feeling life without them would be horrid. I know I didn't really answer your exact question, but I have a feeling you get what I mean." I told the guy before he let out a laugh and nodded before he left me so he could record other family happenings.

LATER...

I sighed and flopped onto the bed and Edward did the same.

"I hate this so much." I complained rolling into his warm embrace.

"Don't we all..." He muttered kissing my forehead lightly and I giggled.

"So I think we should make this woman's plans turn to crud. What do you think?" I asked smiling.

" I suggest fake drama like Emmett knocking up Rose, or you and I are married illegally. Maybe Jasper is a street fighter... Something tv worthy you know." He pondered and I burst out laughing at the idea of a fake marriage to Edward.

Yet... Nevermind... I cut out the thought before it could make its way out into some stupid train of thought or something.

Morning

"Bella! Wake up before the cameras get here to video tape us for the day!" Edward said obviously going insane.

"Shut it I'm tired and I bet we've got a few more hours." I told him curling into his side.

"No we don't we have a half hour."

"Oh shit! I call dibs on the shower!" I yell racing to the bathroom, showering, and dressing as fast as I can.

When I get out Edward is still lying on the bed in his boxers.

"What is wrong with you? Get dressed!" I hiss at him.

He shrugs automatically, "Tanya's downstairs telling the camera crews she and I are dating." He tells me sitting up meet my gaze.

"This calls for a cat fight." I say cracking my knuckles and racing downstairs to see Tanya talking to the camera about how she and Edward dream about getting married one day.

"Hey bitch!" I shout giving her a good punch to the face, before she turns to me and kicks me square in the chest, effectively knocking the air out of me.

"What the hell?" She asks nasally.

"Don't you dare call him your Boyfriend!" I tell her as punch her straight in the jaw.

"BREAK IT UP BEFORE I CALL THE COPS!" Emmett yells and Tanya and I stop to look at him.

"I've always wanted to say that! Also I'm putting my money on Bells!" He shouts waving to the camera.

It looks like our angle's going to be the out of control family...

"Do you want me to go all street fighter on you?" I scream at Tanya as I barely dodge her attack.

"Hey Tanya!" I hear Rose yell and we both glance up as Rose flings a watermelon over the edge of the railing and it hits Tanya.

"ROSE! You're cleaning that up!" Esme yells from somewhere in the house.

"Okay mom!"

I whip around to look at Tanya, but she's gone.

"Is she gone?" Edward asks from the staircase.

"Yeah but I've got a feeling I'm getting a good shiner out of that." I shout back and he emerges fully clothed from the stairs.

"Now thats entertainment!" The camera man shouts giving me a high five.

"Well that's what happens when your best friend has a battle royale with a friend of the family that seems to have a thing for 15 year olds." Edward said letting out a laugh.

"Hun, if it was a battle royale she would be passed out on the ground instead of god knows where." I respond.

"Wait if she's your best friend why'd she try to fight the woman who said she was your girlfriend." the camera guy asked.

"And I'm going to go erm... see about helping Rose find something to clean up the watermelon with." I said high tailing it outta there.

Epov

"And of course the love of my life voids the fact she may care." I mutter shaking my head.

"It happens to the best of us." The camera man says.

"I suppose so. I never caught your name by the way?" I tell the man.

"Sam."

"I'm Edward." I reply shaking the man's free hand.

"Bella have you seen my escape to the circus for a month coupon Rose gave me?" Emmett asked.

"In your drawer of secret things!" She shouted back.

"Thanks Bells!"

"Bella! What did you do to my body glitter?" Jasper called frantically out to her.

"I honestly have no clue what you are talking about!" She lied bursting into the room ready to run.

"The Jazz is gonna kill me!" She said in a sing-song voice running out the house.

"Is your family always this dysfunctional?" Sam asked me.

"We can get a lot worse." I told him sighing.

"Bella! I swear to god if you did something to my glitter I will bring DA HAMMER DOWN!" Jasper yelled running outside.

"I bet you can." Sam said laughing.

It's going to get worse before it gets better Edward, just repeat that over and over in your head, I told myself as Emmett casually walked into the room in spongebob boxers.