Some Koushirou internal monologuing for you. I tried being as technical as I could, but if I'm inaccurate in something just ignore it and understand the big picture. If that makes sense. Been a while since I've done Digimon, so I hope i haven't screwed up too badly. Enjoy!


I tend to hold firm when it comes to the truths of mathematics and sciences, you see. For example, when we say that one apple plus one apple equates to two apples, how exactly can you argue otherwise?—don't think too hard about it, either. Even if we say two is only a word we've created in our own language, and even if we say that one apple plus one apple might actually equate to three apples in some other region of the world, the quantity we aim for is the same—we still have two apples, no matter how we go about calling it.

There are simply some absolute truths I simply have to accept. False equations or faulty proofs, in the end, have to be cast aside. Even if they contribute in finding the actual truth, their destiny is not under the spotlight of realization. Methods are irrelevant, as are the stepping stones; we care merely what is resulted.

One thing I always liked about mathematics and sciences was that these subjects were always applicable to things in my life. Not necessarily just being able to use them in daily life, but also being able to use their concepts and theories in nonmathematical aspects of life. Using the scientific method and being able to use both inductive and deductive reasoning, for example, are such examples.

I use laws of conservation, or simply the proper weighting of equations, when dealing with Taichi. If we set the current time on the right side of the equation, and if we set the left side of the equation to a few years ago, maybe a little after our trip to the Digital World, we've set up an equation that needs balancing. Of course, Taichi is on both sides of the equation, a necessary reactant and a rather obvious product.

But who else is involved in this equation?

One obvious answer, Sora. She's this girl who Taichi fell head over heels for, you could say. A little bit of a tomboy at the time, Sora and Taichi had probably become friends by their common link of soccer. Then adding to their experiences in the Digital World, I'm sure they only grew closer thereafter. But they also had some petty arguments along the way, the most notable of these being a falling out over a hairclip, and eventually they did fall apart.

Sora eventually fell in love with Yamato, another friend of our trip to the Digital World. He has a gig in a local band with some friends, though I think they've become more known outside the area. I honestly don't know if Taichi realizes Sora likes him yet, but I'm sure it's bound to happen anytime now. Still, regardless whether they get together or not, he has to be included.

I suppose this truly isn't an equation yet since we're still trying to balance the factors to make them equal—so for now I'll refer to it as a reaction for brevity. And so in our reaction, we have Taichi and Sora on the left side of the equation. But because of our needs of conservation, Sora must also be on the right side of the equation—even if she's with Yamato on that side. This also means that Yamato needs to be on the left side, as well.

Thus I guess you can say we have the following reaction: Taichi and Sora plus Yamato yields Taichi plus Yamato and Sora.

Is it necessarily an equation now? In theory it is. We've accounted for all the reactants, and we haven't forgotten any products. So in theory, we could also consider this an equation—though I regret ever using the term, since I like the term reaction better. If I consider it a reaction over an equation, then I can account for the flow of time: one side yields the other. And under that light, this would hardly be considered a reversible reaction.

Still, technically speaking, we're sated.

But I'm not.

It's perhaps daring for me to say such a thing. In science we deal with theories, sure, but we're more or less interested in facts. Personal biases and beliefs should only lead us to finding truth, and we should not define them as the truth. And so, though I might say only to myself in the solitude of the night that I might actually like Taichi, in the large scale of things it isn't really a defined truth.

After all, what I keep to myself cannot have interactions with the rest of the world. It's like placing two reactive elements near each other without actually allowing them to interact; without that interaction, nothing occurs. So, therefore, even if I do like him, it's meaningless.

But deviating from mathematics and sciences, since I've already been slightly off once already, I might as well deviate again and include my own selfish desires into this reaction—except I can no longer call it a reaction, because with my inclusion I don't truly react with the other reactants. But for sake of brevity, I won't redefine my terminology yet again.

It's necessarily that I be on both sides of the reaction for the sake of conservation. So thus on the left side we have: Taichi and Sora, plus Yamato, plus Koushirou. And on the right, we have: Taichi and Koushirou, plus Yamato and Sora.

I'm sated. But only me.

It's only an ideal reaction, after all. The product "Taichi and Koushirou" isn't actually yielded, or else I wouldn't be having this discussion to begin with, would I?

I guess this pseudo-reaction can be regarded as a misleading theory; it implies an appealing truth, but ultimately we must remember that it needs to be ignored. False truth only takes us so far, and even if it leads us to where we want to be in our minds, in reality we're far from it.

As difficult it is to accept, Taichi and I do not and will never react. Even if I voiced my thoughts out, even if I did become part of that reaction, it would not yield a product of "Taichi and Koushirou." Rather, the right side would be: Taichi, plus Koushirou, plus Yamato and Sora.

The absolute truth is, Taichi will never like me, and the product yielded only in my dreams cannot be realized. My methods in determining this are irrelevant; what matters is my realization of the truth.

One boy plus another boy, after all, should mathematically only equate to two boys.

Nothing more.