Disclaimer: Yeah . . .yeah. I'll say it again-I don't own anything here! All Buffy The Vampire Slayer related materials and characters belong to Joss Whedon and his group. Critters was written by Domonic Muir, Stephen Herek and Don Keith Opper. Directed by Stephen Herek. Eric Flint wrote and owns 1632. The Fugitive (1993) was directed by Andrew Davies, written by Roy Huggins, David Twohy and Jeb Stuart.

Here we go again! Welcome to the second chapter of Buffy's little road trip! This is when you get to meet another Baby Slayer, and her perspective on the road trip. Thanks for reading it!

Oh, slayers can see well enough in the dark. Having them running around at night, without so much as a flashlight, is okay for them.

On with the story!

Buffy's road trip with Baby Slayers in tow.

Feathers And Itch!

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Baby slayer whimpered.

"Quit squirming! Buffy ordered, exasperated. Slayer Prime sat in the second row seat normally occupied by her sister, Dawn. Buffy had her back to the window; one hand firmly clasped a pair of pliers and the other was wrapped in one of the alien hand devices, Dawn had lifted off the alien ship. It had healing properties and Buffy was using it on a Baby Slayer to speed up her recovery: Trinity lower legs had been peppered by long, barbed quills-under normal circumstances, the sign of an encounter with a porcupine. Except, Trinity was a slayer; and those were not porcupine quills.

Emily sat in the center back seat, occasionally scratching her poison ivy and sneering at her sister slayer's dramatics. For variety, Emily directed a few resentful glares towards Dorian. It was her fault she had poison ivy! Emily seethed. To make Emily's discomfort even worse, Dorian was oblivious to her itchy condition; Dorian was as usual sightseeing out her window, from time to time, wriggled about her seat. Her butt must be falling asleep again, Emily thought in vindictive satisfaction: Good!

"Yap! Yap! Yap! Yap!" A little dog barked behind her.

"Aw . . .you must have thought we've forgotten about you! Didn't you, Chew-Chew, sweetie?" Emily turned around and scratched a feathery black head, paying special attention to the base of his comb-Chew-Chew really liked that; as he demonstrated with half closed eyes and pleased huffs of breath.

"Of course, we forgot about him! He's an annoying rat!" Dorian abruptly yelled out from her seat. Emily twisted around and grabbed Dorian's nose in a tight pinch! Dorian shrieked and grabbed Emily's ear and pulled! Emily screamed in fury, and shot out a free hand towards the other girl's hair-And got slammed back hard against her seat for her troubles!

"Knock it off, you two!" Roared an infuriated Buffy. One hand was raised up at Emily, and the other was raised towards Dorian. Slayer Prime's glare caused both girls to cringe against their seats. Trinity, who had previously occupied the center seat, was wedged in Buffy's former seat, pliers and hand device in her lap; she stared in wide-eyed, silent interest-Now . . .that was entertaining! Too bad Buffy was not going to allow a full fledge fight to get going. Otherwise, they could have stopped at the side of the road, kicked both of the girls out and watched them tear merry hell out of each other!

"One more fight . . .Just one more," Buffy hissed. "And both of you will be cleaning up the ship's bathroom by yourselves! Do you understand me?!"

Both Baby Slayers gasped and nodded in agreement: two pairs of eyes wide in terror and disgust.

"Now . . .each apology to the other," Buffy ordered. "After that, I better not hear another word against each other-Remember the bathroom!" She warned, sternly.

They both nodded in sullen agreement and looked hard at the other while spitting out mutually identical, "Sorry."-Their unspoken Later, was a given.

Buffy gave them both one last glare before returning to removing the quills from Trinity's legs.

Emily thumped back into her seat, grimacing at the unfairness of it all! That and the damn itching had returned! She caught a quick glimpse of Dawn's smirk in the rear view mirror-The younger Summers was driving the car and what really caused Emily to flare with envy was the other, older girl's magical faux driver's license. Dawn was old enough to have a driver's license, but with one Apocalyptic event or another, and her hometown reduced to a gigantic hole in the ground, Dawn had to postpone getting one.

Not that lack of an official license stopped Dawn-She managed to magic one up out of an old hotel room passkey. Just a plastic card, with a magnetic strip in the back, but when Dawn flashed it, it looked like a regular Californian driver's license complete with her picture and stats.

To fourteen year old Emily, that was an impressive feat of magic!

Buffy Summers had examined it minutely, looking for a flaw, and hissed when she was unable to find one-Buffy burned a number of minutes lecturing Dawn about all the ways she could not abuse a fake ID. Emily and the younger slayers took note of every single one of them.

A sad little whimper behind Emily caused her to remember the cause of the latest disagreement with her sister slayer. She twisted and shifted about, getting dirty looks from the slayers bracketing her, until Emily had Chew-Chew's black, feathered little body on her lap. He produced satisfied huffs and pressed his cheek and head into her hand.

"What'z a matter, baby?" Emily cooed, to the large, black rooster on her lap. Chew-Chew wriggled in pleasure and barked. Emily smiled down at the animal in her lap, genuinely glad and relieved to have a distraction for her hands-Her turn under the healing device was coming, right after Buffy got through with Trinity. Hopefully, by the time the poison ivy cleared out, Willow would be up and ready to magically restore Chew-Chew back to his doggie form.

The poor dog, a twenty pound mongrel, usually cute as a button, had been used as a living shield by a cheating husband, to block his righteously enraged wife's curse. What made the whole battle tragic was that it took place in the midst of their daughter's wedding!

Oh, yeah . . .Emily reminisced-Absently stroking Chew-Chew's feathered back. A beautiful ceremony, the slayers had been invited to, done out in a gorgeous, fully blooming garden, under clear and sun lit skies; just as the couple were professing their love, a sobbing mistress confronted her lover-The bride's father!

Emily admitted it was entertaining . . .The woman sobbing a wrenching accusation-"You never were going to leave her, were you? You promised you were getting a divorce! You promised you were leaving her! But you lied, didn't you!" Well, duh! The young slayer was having trouble believing any adult woman was going fall for an obvious line like that! But, standing in middle of some other woman's wedding, was that sucker B. T. Barnum claimed was born every minute or so.

And yet, in spite of that interruption, the wedding might have had a chance to go on-Except the drama was just getting started . . .

Right after the tearful mistress, came the howling lover. The sudden abrupt appearance by the cursing girlfriend was slightly surprising, but not overwhelming. What really busted up the whole works was Erica-A tall and sincerely lovely blond transvestite. Then Paul stepped up with his own woeful tale. Ah, yeah, that did it . . .Erica threw the first punch at Paul. Paul enthusiastically retaliated with fists and feet. Guests either bolted for safety or engaged in their own violent form of stress relief.

Oh, and since a number of the guests were either mages or witches, spells flew with the same frequency as the furniture, smaller adult bodies, and shoes. Buffy admitted it reminded her of Xander's and Anya's cancelled wedding, while she idly critiqued the combatants fighting forms.

The slut, who had started the mess, decided retreat was the best option he had-Just as his incandescent wife threw a spell at him, he swiftly picked up the wildly barking Chew-Chew, and hurdled the poor dog at it! Poor Chew-Chew yelped once and landed on yellow, scaly, talon tipped feet!

Emily screamed and cursed and managed to scoop up her doggie in rooster form, before he could be stomped to a paste, by the fighters. The woman, who had done the terrible deed, had disappeared in vengeful pursuit of her cheating husband.

Willow promised to change Chew-Chew back, once she had to opportunity to study the spell and come up with a counterspell. That placated Emily enough to allow the others to drag her away from the garden and into the main hall. A closet door popped open and a disheveled woman walked out followed by an equally disheveled man. They were both flushed and panting-The woman winked in their direction before walking away with her companion. Buffy just sighed and grumbled under her breath something unintelligible.

Buffy marched everyone to the sound of inconsolable sobbing. The hapless bridegroom hovered about his seated and crying bride. Buffy grabbed the unprepared bride and hauled her over her narrow shoulders in a fireman carry; Buffy ordered one of her Baby Slayers to bring the groom. The surprised man squawked as he received the same treatment as his bride. "Willow! Pick up their paperwork-We're gonna need it!" She ordered Willow.

Less then twenty minutes later, the Buffynapped couple took their vows of marriage in front of a nice elderly minister, while standing in his living room, with six slayers, a witch, and a mystical Key as witnesses.

Emily stroked Chew-Chew's feathered back, and ignored another yelp from the seat in front of her. She considered what happened next: They drove for a number of miles without incident; up until Buffy, map in hand, convinced Willow to take a shortcut.

No one should take directions from Buffy-They all found out the hard way that Slayer Prime could find any assortment of weird, just by blindly pointing to a spot on the map! Willow was tired, that is why she allowed Buffy to navigate. And, that is what everyone agreed was going to be the excuse-Willow was tired.

Hours later, after miles and tiresome miles of empty blacktop road and fields, they finally drove into a small town. Not much of a population, but it still had a relatively decent little hotel, a nice restaurant, and a working gas station. And before they even rolled into it they knew something was wrong.

Like most small towns, the town the slayers drove into seemed to have a voluntary curfew. Everyone closing up and retreating to their beds early. Allowing a blanket of quiet to be drawn over the town-Except, there was quiet, and then, there was quiet.

After visiting so many small towns and villages across the country, the slayers had come to know that there was no such thing as a quiet town-At least, not to a slayer. Even in the tiniest community, after its Human inhabitants had gone to bed, there was always activity, movement, and noise. Toilets flushing; people snoring or farting, babies crying; creaking, singing bedsprings. And those were just the Humans! The animals were, if anything, even less quiet! Emily thought that was kind of odd, given that silence was good if you wanted to stay uneaten by something hunting in the dark.

Ah, she had a sudden insight, but you missed out on the lovin' then! When she was just a kid and less sophisticated, Emily would have thought that was crazy; but now that she was fourteen, she could see how that could be totally worth it!

The slayers glided out of the car-Chew-Chew secured in his charmed and protected carrier-, their weapons in their hands; senses stretched outwards in every direction. Ready for whatever trouble infested the town.

It took two minutes, two lousy minutes, for the cause of the trouble to roll into sight and attack! A rolling ball of fur launched itself out of the shadows straight at Buffy! A normal human would have been taken by surprise, but Buffy hit it twice with her new zappie-The S shaped weapon she got from the aliens almost a week back. Walking cautiously up to where it had fallen, they got a good look at what they were fighting. It was the size of a small dog, with a big wide mouth full of teeth and large clawed paws with three digits on them.

Buffy cocked her head. "It looks almost cute," she commented, examining the thing critically.

"Yeah," Willow agreed. "If you can ignore the rows of sharp, pointy teeth and the sharp claws-Yeah, it could almost be cute."

"Yaaaaahhhhh!" They spun back around to the car, and saw one of the things glowing blue and doing a jerking jig dance! It ended with it flying backwards a few feet and bouncing a couple of times against the blacktop, a black, smoking crisp. Two other similar forms smoked nearby.

"I guess they were trying to get at the car," Buffy said impassively. Willow had layered the car with serious protection spells. She sighed. "Willow . . .?"

"On it!" Willow chanted and threw a pinch of powder over everyone's head, her own included-And the slayers suddenly knew where every one of the nasty little critters had taking to hiding.

"Listening up, ladies!" Buffy ordered. "We are gonna go through this town, through every house and room and basement; every shed and doghouse. We'll look in the sewers, cesspools, pipes and drains. We'll check the rooftops and treetops. Overturn rocks and uproot trees if we have to! We'll tear merry hell out of this town, until we've found and killed each and every one of these things-Got it? Now, go!"

Six slayers, a witch and a Key jumped at that order, and ran to fulfill that order with gleeful zeal and enthusiasm! Down the streets and into the buildings they ran, and not long after, the intense, rapid fire of the zappies could be heard coming from every direction.

"Uh, Buffy?"

"What, Dawn? I'm kinda busy here!"

"I found a nest of green eggs!"

"Oh, crap!" Splat!

All through the town, and farms, and finally into the forest, they hunted their furry opponents, killing them and destroying their eggs. They found survivors and helped as best as they could. They also found unwanted evidence of the furballs carnivorous nature. They fought and searched for hours, finally driving the surviving creatures into a small wooded valley, where they saw a bolt of energy coming at them! If they had been any other beings but slayers-As it was, the girls' quick dive for cover was not enough to keep them from getting singed.

Rule number one: Never mess with Buffy's hair!

Buffy lifted a hand to her smoking hair . . .Her stunned expression changing to snarling fury! Willow already had the little transportation talisman in her hand and chanting.

The creatures, laughing it up inside the spaceship, never had a chance in the face of one pissed off Slayer Prime with smoking, singed hair!

Baby Slayers, little sister, and best friend hastily got themselves out of the way, and watched with open wonder as the Great Chosen One danced. A pity her temporary dance partners had no appreciation for the honor she was bestowing on them. Not that it would have matter . . .they still would have died. But at least, they would have taken a nice glowy feeling down to Hell with them.

"Cool!" Dawn's single word, brought Buffy to a halt, Scythe still spinning. There were no more of those creatures left alive-She could sense it. It was over. Or maybe not, Buffy considered, calculating. A vague idea forming at the back of her brain.

Buffy glanced around herself and took out her zappie and fired three times at the closest alien furry meat piece, disintegrating it. She quickly did the same to its bloody neighbor. The others, taking the hint, joined her in cleaning up the remains. They carefully went through the ship, zapping away the alien remains, discovering in the process, the sad scraps of earlier victims. The original owners of the ship, they surmised, since the remains were clearly inhuman.

The unholy mess in the two bathrooms had them all going "Eww!" and quickly sliding close the doors. Those bathrooms had messes in them that were even worse, then in the worse gas station restroom! And they had used enough of those to be almost experts on the matter!

"We better get going, before anyone official gets here," Willow said offhand.

Buffy nodded in agreement. "Yeah . . .But we're taking the ship with us."

"What?!" Dawn exclaimed.

"Wha-What she said," sputtered Willow. "Buffy, even if we could fly this thing, were are we gonna put it? Were are we gonna hid it?"

"Okay, first . . .We fought for this ship-We're not gonna give the government a freebee here. That's number one." Buffy counted down. "Second . . .Willow, remember the spell you used to get the bags bigger inside then outside?"

"Oh, Goddess!" Willow swore, suddenly getting what her friend was planning. "You're not thinking of shrinking this thing and shoving it into one of the bags, are you?"

"Yep,"

Willow moaned and protested. Dawn and the Baby Slayers grinned with anticipation-Their own spaceship! Yay! Buffy stood firm in face of Willow's resistance: Resistance that lasted a total of five minutes. After that, they marched outside; Willow poured her powders and liquids around the ship. She asked Dawn for some of her Power and Dawn quickly consented.

Holding Dawn's hand, Willow chanted and waved her free hand at the ship. With a dramatic flash of light, the ship disappeared. In its place, was a tiny toy spaceship; Buffy walked over to it and dropped it inside her bag.

Emily absently stroked Chew-Chew and shuddered over the remembered state of the ship's bathroom. She glanced at Buffy's profile, bent slightly down as she took care of Trinity's legs. Technically, Trinity was the only casualty of the battle: Dorian's injuries were self-inflicted. And her poison ivy was Dorian inflicted! Emily shot an angry glare towards the back of Dorian's head.

Before they left the valley, Buffy ordered a final sweep of the area, just to make sure they got everything. She split them into two groups, one doing the sweep, the other heading off to the town with Trinity, their single wounded-Trinity was walking unsupported, but her legs had sprouted a dozen or more porcupine like quills. They burned like the dickens, she admitted. But she could still function and that counted for a lot with slayers.

Emily and Dorian had taken to wandering around a farm. While Emily was outside, close to the wooded boundary of the property, Dorian was exploring the barn-And when she opened the door (oh, boy!) did she feel like she had hit paydirt! A sweet collection of gunpowder weapons presented themselves to her. From blunderbusses, to flintlocks, and little cannons and the motherlode of them all-A gaudy, brightly colored gigantic cannon! While Dorian never considered becoming a human cannonball as one of her life's ambition, she was adaptable. And there, just a few yards away, on a table by a wall, were several little kegs of black gunpowder.

Seriously, how could she have resisted? Dorian was fifteen, after all! Oh, of course, that also meant that no one had bother to explain to the teenager that no one was really blown out of the cannon-The whole thing was a trick, consisting of a giant spring at the bottom of the cannon and flashpowder.

Eh, yeah . . .There was another thing that slipped pass the adventurous teenager's notice-The net!

Emily was balefully eyeing a suspicious patch of tri-foiled leafed plants at the edge of the woods, when she heard a loud 'boom!'. What was that? Emily questioned, she was about to turn around when she was suddenly hit by a burning, cannon-shot Dorian, traveling at nearly 70 miles an hour!

Both girls should have died-But they were slayers. Instead, Emily woke up at the end of a long furrow, dug into the dirt by her fast travelling body! She started brushing off crushed leaves and glanced downwards and realized they were poison ivy leaves! God dammit! What the hell! She quickly rolled over and got up on wobbly feet. Emily hissed as she felt the burning, itching sensation on her exposed skin. A soft moan stopped her in midscratch. Dorian! Emily remembered. She found her sister slayer not too far from her. Dorian was badly burned and unconscious. Emily gently picked Dorian and ran for the town!

"Help! Buffy! Willow! Dorian's hurt!"

Between the alien device and Dorian's own slayer healing the girl survived. They took her sleeping body to a nearby house at the grateful owner's invitation, where they cleaned her up and dressed her in her own clothing. By the time they were ready to leave town, Dorian had woken up and walked back to the car on her own.

Emily's own problems had to wait. There were people in town who had worse injuries and needed the healing device a lot more then she did! After all, the only thing wrong with Emily was a case of poison ivy!

Hours later, Emily was sitting in the back seat of the car, a transformed dog on her lap, itching like mad, waiting for Buffy to finish with Trinity; so she could get her own crack at the healing device!

Without warning, a bright flash of light illuminated the hills in front of them! Dawn brought the car to a screeching halt-Good thing they were the only car on the road. No need to collect another problem in the form of a car accident!

"Ah, crap!" Sighing Buffy stashed away the healing device. Emily watched helplessly, all the while a smirking Trinity removed her quill-free legs down to the floor and sat up straight in her seat.

Without a word, Emily removed Chew-Chew from her lap and restored him to his carrier. After activating the protection spell on the carrier, Emily twisted back into her seat and sent a quiet promise of vengeance towards Dorian's head.

Outside, a large sign, at the side of the road, proudly proclaimed-"Welcome to Grantville, West Virginia".

Oh, poor Emily! Poor Chew-Chew! Don't worry, their problems get fix.

And, if anyone who was wondering, the people at the wedding, one and all, were stronger than the average human-Not slayer strong, but strong enough to fling some seriously heavy stuff.

Thanks again for reading this story and goodbye!