Disclaimer: I do not own Overlord, or any related series or titles, this is solely a work of fanfiction written for the enjoyment of myself and others.

EORP: Evil Overlord Retirement Plan

Chapter 6

Pixie: Extra Well Done

Rose and Vessp lounged back on beach chairs, enjoying the tropical sun.

"I'm bored," Vessp stated, putting aside a serious-looking book entitled "Applied Evil." "I've even taken to reading some of your books."

Rose peeked over the edge of her book; a trashy romance novel called "Embracing Darkness." "Maybe you should get hobby?"

"I have one. It's called terrorizing the weak."

An exasperated sigh escaped Rose's lips. "What about gardening?"

"That's your forte," Vessp snorted, looking around at the rosebushes that his mistress had planted along their property. "The foot-long thorns were a nice touch though."

"You insisted on them," Rose reminded him. "Said it would keep the salesmen away."

"It compliments the "Trespassers will be incinerated" sign." Vessp remarked. "You know, I think I'll go to one of the bon-fires tonight."

"This is not going to end out like the time you went to the casinos is it?" Rose asked accusingly. "You're not going to laugh at the people who loose their money, get into a fight, throw a 300 pound man through a window, and completely wreak the main-street?"

"Well, there won't be any gambling so I won't be laughing at people who loose," Vessp supplied.

"You know I hate it when you trash the public places," Rose glared. "It makes everything disorganizedand you know how much I hate that."

"I swear I will limit collateral disorganization!"

"You never care about that unless you think I'll find out," Rose argued. "In any case I'm going with you."

"You hate the parties," Vessp pointed out.

"Well someone has to make sure things stay at least somewhat tidy," Rose retorted, "you still can't cause bodily damage to others, without making a mess of things."

xXx

"I've been waiting for a chance to dust this off." Gnarl stated, approaching the makeshift table with a large roll of parchment. He spread it open on the table, revealing a large map of Nordberg.

"Where did you get this?" Sayron asked. As far as he could recall, Gnarl never left the tower, and the other minions seemed too stupid to actually make a map.

"You'd be amazed what you find lying around," Gnarl stated. "Now, it is important strategize our assault on Nordberg; firstly, to minimized minion casualties, second to maximize civilian casualties, and most importantly, make the Empire look like fools as they fall before your might."

"What would you suggest Gnarl?"

"Hmmm… we should retrieve our reds from the sanctuary first." The elder minion suggested. "Their affinity for fire should be very useful, especially against those damnable fireworks the locals like using. That, and there's nothing better than a human on fire, except maybe an elf on fire, heheh."

"What about entrance to the town?" Sayron asked. "The front gate will likely be heavily fortified, not to mention we do not currently have a way to bring it down."

"Hmm… well, I could get Giblet to build us some catapults, but that will take time… Perhaps there is another way in?"

"There are some backwoods trails," Sayron supplied. "But many of them are too small for me now, and I have no clue if any are still usable."

"Maybe we could… Hmm? Sorry what Rasp?" Gnarl bent down and listened to what the minion had to say. "It looks you have a visitor from Nordberg Sire," he said, straitening up. "You should see what he has to say. Might get a few laughs out it."

"A good idea," Sayron agreed, he turned around and stomped down to the throne room, and seated himself on the stone throne. "Send the fool in."

The doors to the throne room opened, and a terrified Nordberg man walked down the large hall towards the throne, casting nervous glances at the minion guards.

"What is it you want peasant?" Sayron growled.

"I came to warn you your Evilness. Your visit to Nordberg has not gone unnoticed. The Empire is trying to dig through to your domain. They have set up fire barricades around the entrances to town in order to keep you out. I was hoping that maybe you could… umm… reward me for this information? Like, by making me Mayor of Nordberg when you conquer it."

Sayron pressed the stone button on his throne. The floor beneath the man opened up and sent him plummeting down in the darkness.

"This is bad Sire," Gnarl stated. "We can't have the Empire digging into our Dark Headquarters, it'd hurt our property value. We need to retrieve the Reds from the Sanctuary at once, so we can get through the fire barriers."

"Agreed," Sayron rose from his throne. "Tell Grubby to get me a gate as close to the sanctuary as possible! I have a feeling that lump of Netherworld rock will be the key to gaining us entrance."

"Right away Sire!"

xXx

The sudden warmness of the cave was weirding Sayron out. The shock of going from cold arctic air, to the warm magic breezes made him feel uncomfortable. Maybe because he had grown up in the frozen wastes outside, but became a man in the sweltering depths of the netherworld. He made a note to see what it would take to install air-conditioning in the Tower.

The minions laughed as they climbed out of the portal after him, each one ready to die for their master. The netherworld rock came to life, forming into a claw-like pillar crackling with energy. "A possession stone!" Gnarl exclaimed. "I haven't seen those in centuries… funny, can't seem to remember what they do though. Ah well, send you minions to it and see what happens!"

The strongest minion of the group ran forward and climbed into the grip of the stone hand, the others began running in a circle around the stone, doing a strange arcane dance.

"Give that stone a good magical kick in the pants!"

Lightning crackled from Sayron's hand and flowed into the stone. Sparks danced in the sky, the energy lifted him into the air and a large flash blinded him. Suddenly he was flying through the air, hitting the ground just in front of his minions. He felt shorter, a glance at his hand revealed a scaly limb, he turned around, his body was hovering in the air in front of the stone.

"Y-you're in the body of minion! How unseemly! I hope no one is looking! Still, minions are smaller than you, so you can use this new form to get into places you normally can't."

Sayron tested out his borrowed limbs, for some reason just being in the body made him feel stupider. "Come," he grunted, slightly shocked at how his voice sounded. "Don't make a sound." The group abandoned Sayron's body and crept across the root bridge. The dryad didn't even seem to be paying attention to anything outside, and so did not notice as the minions quickly slipped up a side bridge that led to a small crack in the rock. With the smaller dimensions he and the minions crawled through and into the sanctuary proper. They could see the exposed body of the dryad up ahead. "Get the dryad," Sayron whispered.

The minions screamed in delight and broke cover; they leapt on the startled spirit and began hacking with everything they had. The dryad threw up strong leaves to protect her head and arms, leaving a large bulb exposed.

"Quick, while she in healing, destroy the bulb!"

The minions quickly redirected their attention, they hacked at the bulb madly. Finally severing the stem to which it was attached.

The dryad let out a shriek as her enter body seemed to wither and crack. The roots withered into dust, leaving the entrance to the sanctuary unguarded. Sayron released his hold on the minion's body, letting his spirit fly back into his own body.

He slammed back to earth, lighting crackling around him. The minions rejoined him, cheering in celebration of their victory. Sayron laughed manically, as he crossed the root bridge, and gained access to the sanctuary. Pink crystal sprouted from the rocks, and seemed to radiate strong magic.

"Those are Light Crystals Sire, they are formed when the magical energies around us are absorbed into nice creatures. Creatures who use it to do good things, like shining, tinkling, and baking lentil cookies! They do have some uses though. Giblet uses them to power magical items, after he corrupts them of course."

"Get me those crystals!" Sayron growled to the browns. They let out a cheer and began smashing the pink growths, removing shards of usable crystal from each.

"Keep an eye out for Dark Crystals as well," Gnarl added. "They looked almost the same, only black and orange. They are very rare though. Few evil creatures live long enough to produce more than flakes. But, they are very potent and can add particularly evil enchantments to weapons."

Sayron nodded as the crystals were absorbed into his bracer. He strode to the edge of the ledge and gazed out over the sanctuary. Large platforms were suspended in the air, linked to each other by wooden bridges, and in the center of it all stood a large marble statue of an elven women holding aloft what was a large blue crystal of immense size. Sayron could practically taste the power it contained.

"Ah, so that's what's sustaining the enchantments here! Imagine what you could do with that much power Sire!"

The young Overlord grinned savagely and headed to the first bridge he saw. Yes, that crystal would be a nice addition to the Netherworld Tower.

"Stay back evil creature!" an elf yelled at him. "Seal'em off dryads!"

Roots curled into a barrier in front of the bridge, guarded by two dryads, one behind the barrier, the other in front, with the bulb. "Kill!" Sayron ordered. The minions charged ahead, and began hacking at the dryad, forcing her to protect herself. However, the bulb never opened.

"The other Dryad is protecting the bulb while the other heals!"

Lighting crackled from Sayron's hand, however the beams grounded themselves out before they could touch the entrenched dryad. He growled in frustration, and began hacking away at the magical flora that surrounded him. Suddenly he smelled something, a noxious smoky smell that burned his lungs.

"Burnt pixie!" Gnarl exclaimed. "Ah that brings back memories."

"The Reds!" Sayron yelled. "Follow that smell!" The minions sniffed the air and ran the other direction deeper into the caves, going down lower until they hit what appeared to be an area of tangled roots and small pools. Sayron twitched as he heard the familiar squeaking of gnomes. His armoured boots splashed across a pool, as he charged the small creatures. He noticed that his browns did not actually enter the water, and instead used a nearby root as a bridge. He shrugged off the fact and continued stomping the gnomes.

"What's my count now," he asked mildly, scraping a pointed hat off his boots.

"Let's see here… 70… 80… No Scratch, that is an E not a nine… 100… 126 gnomes have been flattened by you Sire!"

"Excellent," Sayron stated heading across another pool, the browns again avoiding the water. There were no gnomes, but there was a gnome hole. The helmeted head of a legionnaire poking out.

"BEWARE THE POINTY HATS OF DOOM!" He shrieked. Suddenly he froze. "THEY'RE EATING MY LEGS! THEY'RE EATING MY LEGS!"

Sayron made a mental note to try something similar, only with wolves instead of gnomes. He raised his booted foot and stomped the man deeper into the gnome hole. If he was lucky, the gnomes would ether eat their way though the man, or simply starve. A win-win situation.

He laughed to himself as he approached another pool, he could see the gnomes waiting on the other side, just waiting to be slaughtered. The minions cheered as they automatically headed for the root bridge. Suddenly there was a muffled boom, and several rocks came loose from the rock face, taking out the root. They then dived for their hole, shutting the door shut behind them. Sayron stormed out into the center of the pool, noticing that his browns were not following, merely looking around confused.

"Your browns cannot follow you through water sire," Gnarl reminded him. "Only the blues have the mental capacity to learn how to swim."

Sayron looked down at the water, then to the minions. "The water is not even up to my knees! The minions don't even need to swim through this!" he roared.

"I wouldn't risk it Sire. I've seen browns accidently drown themselves in mud puddles. It's rather embarrassing. But don't worry, they'll find their way back to the minion gates on their own, eventually."

Sayron growled as he stormed through the tunnels, following the smell of smoke. Though he'd never admit it, he felt vulnerable without his minions watching his back. A thick tangle of brambles blocked his way. Orange and Red thorns grew from the branches, and Sayron wondered how he was going to cut through them without goring himself.

He suddenly heard something giggle from the other side; a raspy giggle, accompanied by a sharp smell of ash and smoke. The tangle suddenly burst into flames the branches breaking under the heat and becoming consumed in flames. Sayron shielded his unguarded eyes from the heat. The entire mess broke apart completely, becoming nothing more than a pile of ash on the floor.

"MASTER!"

Sayron gaped at the two red scaly creatures before him. Sure he had heard his father talk about the reds, but he had largely figured they would simply look like red Browns. He could now see that was far from the truth. Instead of the large bat ears, they had curved black horns similar to a goat, their chests, under-arms, and mouths glowed with fiery energy, and they walked in a hunched over manner, balanced by barbed tails.

"Follow Master!" another rasped, motioning for the Overlord to follow as the reds scurried down the tunnel. Sayron hurried after them, noting that the smoky smell was getting noticeably stronger. The reds darted into a side-passage, and Sayron followed. He nearly reeled at the sight.

The entire cavern was filled with flames, everything was on fire. He could see the scorched bodies of several fairies lying on the ground, obviously the source of the smell.

"We burn for the Master!" one of the reds cheered.

"Burn, BURN! Master!"

More reds emerged from the inferno, and fell into place behind Sayron. "Lead us Master!" the croaked.

Sayron grinned viciously. "Show me a way out," he commanded.

A red grinned and headed deeper into tunnels. "This where we go to make plant people burn!" he explained as they came across an elevator. Sayron and the Reds climbed on, and the wooden platform rose up above the caves.

"Look, there's hive fairies stole!" one of the reds remarked, pointing a platform bellow.

"We'll need to retrieve the hive if you want to be able to summon red minions from the gate." Gnarl reminded him. "I think it is time for your reds to show them whose boss."

The elevator came to a halt at the top of a rise, Sayron could see the two dryads below, and the only thing separating them was a moving slide of mud. The reds rushed to the ledge and began tossing fire-balls down on the two spirits. The dryads shrieked as flames consumed them. They immediately threw up their defences to allow them to heal. The reds immediately switched their target and sent fire raining down on the exposed bulb. The dryads screamed in pain as the bulb burned, and their bodies withered. The root barrier withered away, leaving the entrance to the sanctuary unguarded.

Sayron skidded down the slippery slope, to the bottom, accessing a nearby minion gate; he summoned more browns to fill in the gaps for his army. "Time to get looting my friends," he remarked as they crossed over the bridge. The minions cheered as they began smashing urns, breaking open crates, and looting anything of remote value. Sayron cackled in dark delight.

"How dare you desecrate our sacred sanctuary, Barbarian!" Sayron twitched at turned to face Florian, who was perched on a ledge, out of reach. "Leave now! Before you incur the wrath of our wondrous Queen Fay!"

"BARBAQUE THAT ELF!" Sayron roared. The reds immediately launched a burning volley of fire at the elven lieutenant, who quickly leapt into the air to escape being lightly roasted.

"This isn't over Scourge of Nature!" Florian called as he danced out of the way.

"It will be when I crush your throat with my bare hands!" Sayron spat, he stormed to an elevator that would take him to the upper levels, his minions joining him. The elevator stopped at the top most platform, and Sayron stormed off. The reaction was instantaneous.

"THE EMPIRE IS HERE!"

"NO! SOMEONE SUMMONED A DEMON!"

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

Panicked elves ran in all directions, as Sayron and his minions stormed the platforms, plundering magical treasures, and viciously fighting the guardians. Sayron sliced an elven warrior in half, and slit another in two with a following strike. Minions hauled bags of gold, and various treasures to a nearby portal that Grubby had opened up, and sent them through to the tower.

"Oh look Sire! You found a harp," Gnarl remarked. "I believe Quaver has just fainted with excitement."

Sayron ignored him, as they marched across the platforms, looting and killing anything that looked either dangerous or valuable.

The Overlord grinned manically as another gazebo went up in flames. It seemed that the only reason the elves had held off as long as they had, was because the dryads could block the advance of the empire troops and hold them off while the elven warriors harassed them. Of course, when one got through the dryads, they were rather helpless.

He waved his minions over to an elevator, and they descended to the floor of the cave. The platform stopped at the base of the statue of Fay.

"Hmm… that Queen Fay's quiet a looker, too bad she's a fairy." Gnarl remarked.

Three dryads guarded the base of the statue, almost concealed in the field of grass that surrounded the stature. "Set fire to the grass," Sayron ordered, remembering the trick Vessp told him.

The reds nodded, flinging balls of fire into the dried field. The flames caught, starting a large inferno that burned towards the dryads. The plant people shrieked as the flames consumed them and their bulb. The fire spread around the statue, the heat causing great cracks to appear in the smooth marble.

Sayron strode towards the statue, a sick grin hidden in the shadows of his helmet. The reds rushed ahead, using their fire-absorbent skin to soak up any residual flames. The Overlord gazed up at the broken statue, and gave it a kick. The marble crumbled under the pressure, causing the entire construction to fall apart.

There was suddenly a burst of magical energy from behind Sayron, who spun around in alarm.

"You have angered Queen Fay!" he heard Florian scream. "Don't say I didn't warn you!"

Fay appeared floating in mid-air. Her while dress flaring around her, and her pale face glared angrily at the Overlord.

"You have corrupted my shrine, and brought darkness into a place of light," she spat. "I know of your type Overlord. You will not stop until you have crushed everything beneath your boot. Pray we do not meet again." The queen then vanished in a burst of magic, letting the large crystal fall to the ground.

"Ugh! It's covered in light-magic fairy non-sense! Use your magic to give that crystal a taste of the dark side!"

Lightning crackled from Sayron's hand, striking the crystal. Black energy began welling up from inside it, and sparks jumped from the tips. The crystal rose from the ground, lighting crackling off its surface, as the darkness spread from its core. A darkness seemed to settle over the entire sanctuary.

"You will pay for this disrespect Scourge!" Florian yelled from the deck of a ship, as it sailed past Sayron. The ship was filled with evacuated refugees and the frozen form of One-Eye.

"YOU SON OF A WHORE!" Sayron yelled. "Set that ship on fire!" he screamed to his reds.

The reds spat fireballs into their hands and chucked them at the ship. The sails caught easily, but the elves quickly put them out, and the fireballs sizzled but failed to ignite the hull. Sayron growled in frustration. He could still see many panicked elves on the platforms, obviously the ship could carry only a fraction of the Sanctuary's population.

"Gnarl, can you make it so they can all hear me?" he asked.

"With that crystal turned over to our cause, I think so." He answered. "Let's see here… hmmm… There! All ready Sire!"

"Peoples of the Sanctuary!" Sayron yelled with his magical voice. "Your Queen has abandoned you! Left you to the mercy of the Glorious Empire! But I am not without sympathy for you. I will gladly help keep you safe from the Empire, all I ask is that I be rightly rewarded for the effort taken to keep your kind safe!"

"WE DON'T WANT YOUR TYRANNY HERE!" yelled one elf.

"I didn't say you had a choice." Sayron answered. "Kill the magic Gnarl. I take it you can organize the occupation of this Sanctuary?"

"With pleasure Sire!"

"Excellent! Minions get that hive, and any magical artefacts they have stashed there!" Sayron ordered. The ground beneath the crystal shook as a portal erupted from the earth. Minion guards crawled out of the hole, ready to force Sayron's will on the surviving elves.

"It looks like my Empire is already off to a good start!" Sayron cackled.

xXx

Kelda leaned against the wall and began cleaning her nails with a large, and very nasty looking, hunting knife.

Borius waddled past the doorway with one of the Centurions, talking about ways to repel the Overlord when he came. "Fool," Kelda thought. She had no idea how Sayron would do it, but she was certain he would humiliate that blubbering moron, and take Nordberg from right under his nose. She glanced at her knife, briefly considering making the job easier by sending Borius to the Abyss.

She dismissed the idea at once. Borius was so fat that she would need a longer knife if she wanted to hit anything vital.

Authors Note: Ugh… I have just realized how difficult it is to novelize a game, and try to cut out many of the monotonous parts, without taking away from the original feel of the game.

On another note: I always wished, among other things such as a personal mount, that you could have dominated one of the sanctuaries and enslaved, or better yet corrupted, all those light magic creatures.