Authors Note:Hey guys I decided to do a story on the side other then Along came a spider. I hope you guys like this one its different but I had fun typing it lol

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!

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Why You Cant

Chapter one: Example A

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Naruto growled "Stop touching me!"

"Let me see." Sai smiled, obviously fake.

"Shut up and get the hell away from me" He pulled the curtain around him, somehow Sai found his way into his bathroom right before he was going to shower and wasn't leaving till he saw Narutos seal.

"It's for my drawing." He stated trying to pry the curtan away from him

"What the hell do you need to draw my seal for?"

"Im drawing a portrait of you, and it wont be right if I don't see it." He said entering the shower "Just a peak."

"Get the fuck out pervert!... an what the hell do you need to see my seal for to draw a portrait?" He twisted himself in the curtain so his head was one of the only thing popping out.

"Its a nude portaite."

"GET THE FUCK OUT NOW!" Naruto screamed at him, there was sound of the curtain hooks snapping causing him and Sai both to fall on the tile floor "Get off!" He tried to push him but his hands were wrapped with curtain.

"Hold on Naruto." Sai pull out a kunine knife

"What are you doing... hey!" Sai cut the curtain to his stomach away.

"I see."

"Sai Im going to fuck'n kill you, get off!" He struggled against the curtain in vein. Sai's eyes traveled lower.

"...a proper look." Naruto headbutted him stunning him long enough to toss him off, he stood up the curtain falling off of him and Sai got a front view. He examined him for a second

"Smaller than I remembered."

"GET OUT" Naruto grabbed the curtain covering himself. Sai bowed and took off out of the bathroom leaving Naruto feeling violated.

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Next Day

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Sai sat under a tree working on his sketch, Naruto and Sakura were heading around the corner, Sakura taking off ahead of Naruto.

"Hey Sai what are you drawing" She leaned over looking a his picture.

"Sakura Stop!" Naruto called to her before running towards them. But it was to late.

"It Naruto." He smiled, Sakura's mouth dropped, eyes like baseballs "Do you like it?" He asked her as if he didn't see her reaction. Naruto ran up to them snatching the photo away.

"It not normal to sit around drawing my fuck'n dick! Stop."

"I wasn't." Sai said matter of fact.

"You weren't..." He looked at the photo seeing indeed a naked sketch of him... but there was something... "Sai where's my dick?"

"It was so small I didn't draw it"

"..." He grabbed the collar of his shirt shaking him"You BASTARD!"

A feeling a great evil washed over them.

"You have defiled a woman's eyes" Sakura snarled her aura black.

"But I didn't draw his penis." He said confused.

There was two large whacks.

"...Sakura why'd you hit me too..."

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Afternoon

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Sai had been forced to draw Naruto a penis then tear his picture up. It was suppose to be a gift to him but he didn't like it.

"hm" He flipped through his book. 'The best way to make amends with a friend who is mad at you: Apologies with a gift' He nodded to the book closing it and taking off down to the stores.

***

One Hour later

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"Naruto, Sakura" They both looked up confused standing and sitting beside the bridge. They were all supposed to meet Kakashi there.

"Sai your late" Naruto said obviously still pissed about earlier

"What is it?" Sakura asked politely smiling seeing Sai was had something to say.

" I have gotten you both a gift... to apologies" He held out two wrapped boxes. Sakura took hers first, Naruto took his a little slower not sure what to expect.

"Thank you" She bowed. Naruto grunted. Sakura opened her box, smiling she pulled out a expansive perfume "Thank you very much Sai! This is to much"

Sai smiled then looked at Naruto who had a brand new attitude. He nearly tore though the box.

"Oi" Kakashi appeared from above. Naruto pulled out his gift looking excited.

"..."

"Im glad you like it Naruto" Sai said smiling "I thought since you were so mad about not having one earlier Id give you one... The girl said it will please you, I even had her put your name on the side, she said she knew who you were."

Naruto looked at the dildo he was holding to shocked to say anything. He looked at the name imprinted Uzamaki Naruto.

"...Naruto, please.... " Kakashi sweat drop.

***

Sai's house - Night time

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Sai sighed, he wasn't sure why Naruto was always mad at him. He tried and tried but he couldn't please him. He scanned his book looking for any advice. What was he doing wrong. He dropped the book and headed to Narutos house.

He knocked on the door but when Naruto opened it, he closed it again.

"Naruto I came to apologise" He called out.

Naruto opened the door looking mad "Go away" He shut it.

"I brought ramen." Naruto opened the door and Sai held up a special package.

"...fine." He let him in closing the door behind him.

There was a huge mess in his house and Sai walked over empty packages paper and clothes. Naruto grabbed the ramen from him. He took off to the stove pulling a pot out.

"You have a lot of stuff Naruto" he started helping him clean of the table. Naruto grunted as he finished filling the pot with water "Whats this?" Sai looked at a magazine from the table. Naruto turned looking over his shoulder. He blushed walking towards him stumbling over his stuff.

"Dont touch other peoples stuff bastard!" he snatched the magazine from his hand.

"Naruto... Are you gay?"

"Shut up, not so loud" He covered his mouth.

Sai looked at him, he was beat red. He smiled removing Narutos hand from his mouth kissing it lightly.

"Are you lonely?"

"What? I'm not lonely!" He fumed. Sai wrapped an arm around his waist placing a hand on his cheek.

"So you just beat off to these magazines alone but your not lonely" He smiled backing him up against the table "...I found the perfect gift" He moved his hand from his lower back to Narutos rear squeezing it.

"Argh GET off!" He pushed him away "What are you doing"

"I only want to help..." He said calmly moving forward toward him again.

"Will you stop you only do that with someone you care about!" He shouted beat red.

"I care about you"

"No there's a process!" He pushed him away again

Sai's eyebrows knitted together "So the guys in that magazine fulfilled this process?"

"well no... that different" He armed himself with a backscratcher.

"...Okay, whats the process" He asked taking a seat.

Naruto blushed stilled aiming the backscratcher at him "It doesn't matter"

"Why not?"

"Because"

"...Because?"

"Its called dating and no you'd make a bad boyfriend."

"How do you know that?"

"How about today for example!" Sai thought it over, he still didn't know what he did wrong.

"Okay, Ill improve." He said standing up moving toward him. Naruto backed away begging him not to.

"Oh god please no, you've done enough." He grabbed the dildo he got earlier "This is enough really"

"Ill prove I can be a good boyfriend" Sai grabbed the magazine "Then we have sex." Naruto hit him

"THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS!"

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