Disclaimer: To start I don't own Artemis Fowl Eion Colfer does *mumbles some things about owning the ways to insult Artemis Fowl*

Also I would like everyone to know that this is my absolute first ever fanfic so please don't hurt me * hides from people*

Arthor: anyways on with the insults

Artemis: there is not a way for you to insult me

Arthor: Yes there is now kindly shut your trap considering I have the same IQ as you if not higher.

When Artemis goes to bed ask if he would like you to check his closet for monsters

Remind Artemis that he forgot to round up his decimal place on one of his math tests and that he got a 99%

Tell him he is to old to believe that fairies exist

Make a remark about his if his ego were to gat any larger his head may explode

Tell Artemis Holly has been watching him sleep all night (this would more embarrass him but who cares)

If he argues that number 5 is impossible then tell him he was also saying something about holly in his sleep and that holly overheard

Follow him everywhere and ask him what he's doing even if you know what he is doing

Upstage him when he is upstaging a teacher and prove him wrong

Call holly and tell her Fowl is up to it again.

Tell him his fairy friend came to visit (use the word fairy hinting that he is gay I know he is not gay)