Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Warning: Contains violence, gore and strong language.

"Is it secure?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"I think so—"

"You think so? No. No, don't say that. You don't fucking say things like 'I think so' right now, okay? Okay, those—things are still fucking out there, and we have no idea at all where the others are, and—oh God. Oh God, what if they're dead? They are dead, aren't they? Aren't they? Oh God, we're going to die next. We're going to die—"

"Shut up, okay? Just calm down. Calm down, otherwise they'll hear us."

"Don't you see, they're coming for us either way. There's no point! We're just going to die anyway!"

"No. Stop—stop it. Don't talk like that. Seriously, don't. I—Come on, don't cry. Please. It'll be alright. We'll be alright. I think—I'm sure—the others are fine, too. Now come on, please stop crying, we're making too much noise. Really, otherwise it'll be easier for those things to find—oh shit. Oh fuck."

"What? Oh God, what's happening?"

"I just—I think I heard something."

"What? You're not serious. I thought you said we were safe—"

"Calm down! Now. On the count of three, run to the other end of the library, where the checkout desk is, alright? One, two three—fuck, they're here—!"

Six Weeks Earlier…

"And now onto a more serious topic. Representatives from Hoshigaki Enterprises have told reporters from KTV that the company is currently looking into houses that receive their household water supply from them," said Kurenai, reading off the teleprompter next to the cameraman in front of her. "Roughly five hundred people have been quarantined thus far, only a fraction of an estimated ten thousand people who use Hoshigaki Enterprises as their water supplier. A spokesman for the CEO of Hoshigaki Enterprises, Hoshigaki Kisame, said that they were doing everything in their power to keep this pandemic under control, and that symptoms do not manifest themselves in every individual. But for now, until further tests can be carried out on patients, all we can do is wait, and hope for the best. Speaking now from the KTV news centre, this is Yuuhi Kurenai. Goodnight."

"Nice one, Kurenai," Sarutobi Asuma said, grinning at his fiancée as she got out of her seat and made her way to him.

"Thanks," she replied, pecking him on the cheek. "And thanks for switching to Hozuki Supplies when you did, otherwise, well. I would have been speaking about what the quarantine was like from first-hand experience," she added with a smile.

"Ah. Well, seems like my dad's penny-pinching ways have actually rubbed off on me in a good way. For once." Asuma's hand began twitching, though he tried to shrug it off by shoving it in his pocket, something which didn't escape Kurenai.

She raised an eyebrow, chiding, "No smoking on private property now, remember?"

"I remember, I remember," Asuma said, waving her off with his free hand. "Stupid new regulations. I don't need a smoke that badly, anyway."

"Of course you don't," Kurenai said sardonically, patting him on the shoulder. "But really now, you should think of quitting. I mean, it could really harm the baby, even if it's just second-hand smoke. There were all these cases of babies being born addicted to smoking just because their parents do it. I would know, I was the one reporting on them."

"Don't worry about it. Really. I haven't smoked around you since we found out about your pregnancy, have I? I'm cutting down, anyway. Waste of money, if you ask me."

Kurenai laughed and pecked her fiancé on the cheek again.

"Come on, let's go home. We have to finish decorating the baby's room."

Asuma smiled and took his hand out of his pocket, draping it around Kurenai's shoulders instead and using his free one to wave to their co-workers goodnight.

"Alright then. Home it is."

They never reached home.

Die, Everyone's Doing It

by allurement

Chapter 1: Apocalypse Please

"We haven't seen Kankuro or Ino in days. Think any of the others have?"

"Doesn't seem like it."

"Shit," Naruto said, turning around to face me. "You don't think—you don't think they've got them, do you?"

"Nah," I said. "If they did, we'd have heard about it already. Ino's too much of a diva to die quietly."

This seemed to cheer Naruto up considerably. I grinned, trying to add conviction to my words, but all it did was make me want to throw up—which I would have, had I anything in my stomach in the first place.

"Come on," I added. "Let's go see if the vending machines are clear now."

"Yeah." Naruto got up to follow me. "Thanks, Kiba."

"No worries. How much longer until we have to meet up with the others?"

Naruto glanced down at his watch. Mine had broken a couple of days ago, so I had constantly been bugging the douche for the time, something I don't think he appreciated very much.

"About fifty minutes. Don't worry, we've got time."

"Even if a herd of zombies are blocking our path to the rendezvous point?"

"Come on, Kiba," Naruto said, flashing a grin like he used to. "It's us, remember? We could take on hundreds of those bastards any day."

I laughed. Stupid, bigheaded, fucking genius.

"I fucking hate Kit-Kats," grumbled Naruto, tearing open a bar of said chocolate.

"Quit your complaining and just be grateful we didn't have to smash in anybody's head to get to them," I muttered, already having devoured my first bar. I picked up a packet of Cadbury's Caramel and began unwrapping it. God knows we need all the calories we can get now.

We were sitting in one of the girls' locker rooms, exhausted and miserable. Ironic, really, since both of us would have killed to have been here a couple of months ago. Before all this crazy shit popped up and I had to stay back after lessons for something other than detention.

Basically, I wasn't quite sure what had happened, but zombies took over the country, possibly even the whole world. Yeah, dramatic, I know, but I am actually being serious. And I know you guys are thinking about those rotting stink-like-shit mofos who walk with their hands in front of them and drool acid or something.

Well, then, you're spot on.

I really had no idea what was going on at all. No one that I know that's still alive, at least, has heard anything from civilisation since, well, before the Incident. All I—as well as everyone around me, for that matter—knew was that around a couple of months ago, the biggest water supplier in Japan announced that they had accidentally—accidentally, the fucktards—dumped a load of chemical shit into their… reservoir… things. So yeah, about seventy percent of the country's household got supplied with some crap that made them go batshit insane once they drank it and then turn into zombies. Great.

Luckily, my mom, who I haven't seen for over a month, was under Hozuki Suppliers—who, might I add, had a field day when word of the leakage got out—so we were safe. So were my friends. Actually, most of our area was under Hozuki Suppliers, seeing as how the company's headquarters were situated in the neighbouring town. But all that meant was that the epidemic reached us later rather than sooner.

Apparently, the zombies double as vampires. And not the sparkly, romantic-bullshit kind that Ino and Sakura are into either.

Their bite is almost always fatal. And once their saliva gets into someone's body, whatever shit they have in their system spreads like wildfire. Before the victim even dies, the poison-slash-virus will have fully circulated his or her body, instantly corrupting every organ and system in it, and bam, zombie reproduction is complete.

My friends and I were probably the only people in Konoha that hadn't been zombie-fied yet.

And we were stuck in school, of all places, fending for our lives.

During summer.

Fuck my life.

"Okay, time for a head count," Shikamaru said, rubbing his temples as everyone else sat on the floor and slumped against one another.

I looked around. Along with Shikamaru, Naruto, and myself, Neji, Temari, Sakura, Hinata, Sasuke, and Shino had managed to make it to the rendezvous spot in the storage room at the back of a former biology classroom.

"Almost one hundred percent attendance," I mused. "It's just—"

"Hey," Naruto said, squinting around the room. "Ino and Kankuro aren't here."

I would have slapped the dumb blond round the head for interrupting me, but a hush had fallen on the group.

"D-do you think t-they're…" stuttered Hinata, but she couldn't bring herself to finish her sentence.

"Hey." I put my arm around her shoulder. Fourteen years of knowing the girl and she still flinched whenever I touched her. Jokes. "They'll be fine. Probably a bit battered and bruised—"

"Kiba!" came a few reproves.

Seriously. What was with these people interrupting me? They needed to suck me off to make it up to me or something.

… Or maybe not.

"—but then again, aren't we all?" I grinned at Hinata, but she knew me too well to be fooled by it. "Seriously. They'll come back. They're probably just being held up by something. Like. Um. Make-up. We all know how the two of them love their make-up, after all, right?"

Hinata smiled weakly and looked at her feet, making me feel instantly guilty. Ever since we were kids, Hinata was a shy, quiet girl. And because I am neither shy nor quiet (nor a girl), I guess I'd always felt the need to protect her. It had always been the three of us all throughout the years, Hinata, Shino and I. We met in kindergarten, and there we were in high school. Through thick, thin, and zombies.

Shino, obviously sensing Hinata's funk too, joined in, "He's right, Hinata. Ino and Kankuro probably just got held up by something."

"It's my fault," Shikamaru muttered. "I was the one that told them it'd be a good idea for them to go to the mall. Get whatever stocks and stuff they could."

"Don't," interjected Sakura. "Don't blame yourself, Shikamaru. Like Kiba and Shino said, they'll be alright. And it's not like you purposely sent them out there to be slaughtered."

"Yeah," I added, my eyes lingering on Sakura. "Don't worry about it, man. I bet you that right now, they're even—"

A loud crash was heard.

My eyebrow twitched. Seriously, if one more person fucking interrupts me, I'll—

Oh fuck.

"Shit," Sasuke swore. "They know we're here. Quick, grab something."

He needn't have told us twice. Before he had even finished the sentence, all of us had grabbed something large and heavy within arms' reach. I handed Hinata a long, jagged rod—probably broken off of a metal frame or something—and grabbed a nearby stool for myself.

Sasuke held up a hand to signal all of us to be quiet, and reached into his pocket to pull out a gun. Jesus fucking Christ, Uchiha Sasuke just had to be different, didn't he? Where did he even get that?

We could hear them, the zombies, milling into the room, droning on as they tried to find their next meal. I don't even know how they knew we were in there; it's not like they have proper, functioning noses to sniff us out with or something. I think.

"Okay," Sasuke said, barely moving his lips. Fucking robot. "Now!"

Before any of us could register what he was doing, he had leapt at the door of the storage room and jumped out, shooting two zombies in the head.

Fucking Uchiha. Always had to be the centre of attention.

Well, there was no going back from there, so after a final goodbye glance to everyone else, I ran out after him, closely followed by Neji, and then the others.

There were about what, thirty zombies in the room? Well, twenty now, Sasuke had taken out a few, and Neji and I had each gotten a couple. Sweet.

I had to admit, the first two weeks of fighting off the zombies was horrific. But after a while, the innate warrior came out in all of us, even Hinata, and we sort of became robust zombie-killing—uh, destroying, I mean—machines. Which was probably the only good thing that would ever come out of this ordeal, I mused as I grabbed the corner of a table, resting most of my weight on it before pushing down to give me enough leverage to bring my foot up and kick an oncoming zombie in the face. As it stumbled backwards, I quickly grabbed my stool and whacked around the head, smirking in satisfaction as it fell to the ground, unmoving.

My head snapped up when I heard a high pitch scream; Hinata was being cornered by two zombies, her weapon laying abandoned a few feet away from her.

"Shit," I breathed, panicking and momentarily forgetting about the zombie behind me. "Hinata!"

I tried to run over to help her, but the zombie I left unattended to grabbed my shoulder, pulling me backwards. I swung my stool back, the corner of the seat hitting it right in the centre of its forehead. The hand around my arm suddenly became limp and it slumped to the floor. That's the trick with zombies. You have to make sure you hit them on the head, otherwise it's pointless.

I turned back to Hinata. She was whimpering, one of the zombies having already grabbed hold of her. The other had backed her up against one of the counters and was leaning in for a—oh fuck this—

Oh. Okay then. Um.

Just as I had leapt over a couple of Undead bodies to try to save Hinata, Temari had appeared from out of nowhere, smashing her elbow down against one of the zombies' heads so it crashed down on the shards of broken glass on the counter, piercing its skull, brain gunk oozing out everywhere—fucking disgusting—and driving Hinata's weapon into the other one's head.

… I always thought that girl was a bit too butch.

"Nice one, Temari," Neji said, unfazed by the events that had just unfolded. "I think we got all of them. Hinata, are you okay?"

"Y-y-yes," Hinata said shakily, taking her weapon from Temari. "T-T-Thank you, Temari-s-s-an."

"Hey, no problem, kiddo," Temari said, giving her an uneasy smile.

"How long did that take?" Sasuke asked.

"About ten minutes, all in all," Sakura replied, panting. "One of our fastest times yet, I think."

"We better get out of here, then," Shino piped up. "Their friends might have heard us or something."

"Can't we rest for a bit? I mean, how do we know if their ears even work?" Naruto complained.

Everyone stared at him. Seriously, what a fucking dipshit. If Hinata wasn't crazy about him, I'd have probably smashed his face in a long time ago.

"Want to stick around to find out?" Sasuke said. "Be my guest. But I'm going to get the hell out of here."

There was a murmur of agreement. Even Naruto, dumb as he was, didn't want to hang around and try his luck.

"But where can we go now?" Sakura said, now preoccupied with comforting a still-shaken Hinata.

"I don't know. We know that most of the zombies have a hard time getting up to the top floor, plus our notes from last week are still there," Shikamaru said thoughtfully. "Want to give the place a go?"

When no one looked like they were about to protest, Shikamaru walked up to the doorway of the classroom and slowly peered around the corner.

"Alright, the coast is clear," he said, signalling for us to follow him.

We creeped out behind him, Naruto and Neji being the last ones out. As soon as we left the desecrated classroom, Naruto and Neji turned around and grabbed Shino's and Sakura's arms, respectively. This was sort of a new technique of ours to make sure we had three sixty vision when on the move, just in case. It made whoever was behind look like a fucking douche, but it couldn't be helped. Some zombies made no sound at all until they were right up and fucking close to you.

"Damn," Temari said, as we passed by an empty vending machine. "We're almost out of ready food."

"Of course," muttered Shikamaru matter-of-factly. "Do you think I would have sent your brother and Ino out if we didn't have to? It's bad enough in here; think of what it must be like out there."

No one said anything as we reached the stairs and began to walk up it, Sakura limping because of an injury she got a couple of days ago.

"Here," I said. "Temari, guide Neji, while I help Sakura up the stairs." I grabbed Neji's shoulder as Sakura and Temari switched places, and once Neji had a firm hold of Temari, I let go and turned my attention to Sakura. She smiled and put an arm around my shoulders, which I held, and I placed an arm around her waist, gently hoisting her up each step, taking some of the weight off of her still-swollen ankle.

"Thanks, Kiba," she whispered, her matted pink hair tickling my neck.

"No problem," I said weakly, looking up to see how many more steps we had to go.

"Kiba," Sakura said, bending her arm and squeezing my shoulder a bit, "what's going to happen to us?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, even though I knew perfectly well what she was talking about.

"I mean," she said. "I mean, what happens after this? Is it really—"

Everyone froze simultaneously, glancing at one another to confirm that we hadn't just imagined what we had heard.

Seconds later came another scream.

And then—

"Kankuro!"

"Ino," I breathed.

A/N:

A very belated graduation present for ohwhatsherface, who wanted zombie!fic. To be honest, I wouldn't have written it as soon as this, but all of my documents (including chapters for ongoing fic and a couple of one-shots like my beautiful Fugaku/femme!Minato) were just lost forever, and I grieved and grieved because my beautiful babies were taken away from me, & I just. Was very unmotivated. Until now. So. Enjoy! :D

Also, Annie wishes to express her love for me over the internet, so, you know, who am I to say no?