Okay, this didn't have a finished feel to it after the last chapter, so I've done one more (had to get the introspective stuff out of my system). But this really is absolutely, definitely, definitively the final chapter. And still totally PG and repressed, so don't get excited. Sorry about that, but we wouldn't want to get ahead of ourselves, would we? This is Jane and Lisbon we're talking about here (precious little talk and no action).

By mid-morning Jane was sure he knew who the killer was. He could tell that Lisbon was also on the right track, but she hated to do anything without some evidence or at least a good reason to back her up. She didn't just act on her hunches. Jane was pretty sure that if he told her what he thought, it would give her the confidence to take the suspect in for questioning (two hunches being better than one?), and Jane was certain that the suspect would crack after only the briefest exposure to Cho's interrogation technique. Which meant they would be out of here by lunch time. Jane opted to keep his mouth shut and his opinion to himself.

Lisbon knew that Jane was keeping something from her. She hated it when he did that. He loved being the showman, knowing something no-one else knew so that he could eventually reveal it with a dramatic "Ta-da". It was so irritating. Did he not understand the concept of team-work at all? She had asked him his opinion on the guy she thought was guilty and he had merely looked disinterested and non-committal. Did that mean that he didn't think he was guilty? She was sure he had a theory, though. He wasn't always right, it was true, but he was right a lot more often than not, and she didn't want to fruitlessly chase after the wrong person if he knew who the right person was. Why did Jane always have to be so exasperating?

In the end it was Van Pelt, working diligently at her computer cross-checking leads that Lisbon had given her, who came up with information which Lisbon could use to arrest her suspect. Jane had been quiet, distracted and unhelpful all day, so an annoyed Lisbon took Cho with her to make the arrest and conduct the interrogation. As Jane had privately predicted, the suspect cracked within ten minutes of Cho's company, but night had already fallen by then, and Lisbon decided it was too late to start the long drive back to Sacramento. They would stay the night and leave first thing in the morning. Jane smiled happily to himself. He just hoped that Lisbon wasn't so annoyed with him that she decided to punish him by bailing on him tonight. He knew how much she hated it when he kept case-related information to himself, so he had tried his best to be as innocuous as possible in every other way. He just hoped it would be enough.

Lisbon was still not happy with Jane, but she was pleased to have caught her suspect and to have had her hunch proved correct (without any help from Jane, which made it all the sweeter). Jane's behaviour was a bit of a mystery, though. He had been acting very unlike himself all day. He seemed non-condescendingly pleased at her success, unconcerned by his own apparent lack of insight into the case, and had been unfailingly polite to her for most of the day. It was bizarre and slightly unnerving. It didn't occur to Lisbon that Jane had merely been stalling because he wanted to stay another night (with her) – if it had, her annoyance would have been completely swept away by sheer amazement. As it was, she felt a tiny flutter of nervousness at the thought of another night sharing a room with Jane. Their relationship was so precariously balanced as it was. With him acting oddly, all bets were off. Lisbon had no problem with the risks she took in her work, but when it came to her relationships, she wanted safety and security. This was neither safe nor secure.

Jane was watching Lisbon closely. He could tell that she was trying to decide what to do about their sleeping arrangements, and she looked like she was wavering. This was not good. He needed to take action. He went up to her and spoke softly, so the others wouldn't hear.

"Hey, Lisbon. I..uh..I haven't really thanked you yet for agreeing to share with me. You were right, the insomnia situation has been getting a little out of hand. If I'd known you could help so easily, I might have asked sooner." He gave her his most disarming smile.
He knew it was a master stroke. Lisbon could never resist his sincerity and he was being completely sincere.

Crap. He'd cornered her. Clearly he'd realised she was considering making Cho switch rooms with her again and had decided to force her hand. She could see one of Jane's manipulations coming from a mile off – she'd had enough practice, after all. Not that she didn't believe him, but she was absolutely certain that he wouldn't say something like that to her unless he was trying to get something from her that mattered to him quite a lot. And he knew she wouldn't turn him down, even if she realised what he was doing. Clever. Frustrating. Typical. And interesting. Why did he want her to stay with him so much? Did she really want to know? This had better not be his idea of a non-sophomoric seduction technique.

He watched the expressions flitting across her face. Damn. She'd seen through him. When had he become so transparent to her and how had he not noticed it happening? But he knew his trap was well-laid. He had considered all the angles. She would do what he wanted, even against her better judgement, because it wasn't in her nature to turn down an opportunity to help him (fix him?). Plus she could never resist what she recognised to be a naked plea (figuratively speaking, of course – if she thought it was literally a naked plea, she'd run a mile).

Lisbon noticed that Cho was watching them rather tensely, clearly trying to read his fate from their body language. Both men badly wanted her to stay with Jane. Well, it wasn't like she was completely, totally, absolutely against it herself. It would be fine. She'd already survived one night, comparatively unscathed.

"I hope it works again tonight then," she said, giving in to the inevitable.

Jane hid his relief behind a beautiful smile.

"Of course it will," he said with confidence.

The team had a celebratory dinner together, before going their separate ways. Cho was suitably pleased to still have his own room, and spent a undisturbed evening reading his somewhat challenging book. Since it was a lovely clear star-studded night, Rigsby and Van Pelt decided to go for a walk around the rather quaint little town they were staying in. Jane chose to stay and have one last cup of tea, so that Lisbon could go to their room and shower in his absence. No point in needlessly torturing himself. When he came up a while later, Lisbon was already in bed and was watching a movie with a rather puzzled look on her face.

"Why do you start watching movies half way through, Lisbon?"

"Because this TV doesn't have a rewind button," she said, making an 'isn't it obvious?' face at him.

He grabbed the remote from her.

"So change the channel and watch something else that's just starting."

"There isn't anything else on that I want to watch."

"Can I turn it off then?"

"If you feel that strongly about it."

He snapped the TV off and tossed the remote onto a chair. Lisbon folded her arms and looked at him with slightly raised eyebrows.

"We could play poker," he suggested.

"You brought a pack of cards with you?"

"I never go anywhere without a pack of cards, Lisbon."

She rolled her eyes. "Be that as it may, I do not want to play poker. Or any other game you're about to suggest."

"Well, I'll just change into my pyjamas, then. Try not to look."

"Go and change in the bathroom, Jane!"

He gave her a mischievous grin, but retreated to the bathroom without giving her any more grief. When he came back out, she had slid further down into her bed and was looking at the ceiling thoughtfully. This did not bode well. He should have let her watch TV. He climbed into his bed and waited. She looked across at him.

"So why does having someone in the room with you help you to sleep? And don't tell me you don't know, because I know you do."

"No need to be so assertive. I'm perfectly happy to tell you." She looked at him sceptically. "From the time I was a baby I always slept surrounded by people and noise and activity. I don't remember ever sleeping in a room on my own when I was a kid. That's why I'm able to sleep at the office. I suppose I never totally acclimated to sleeping in lonely splendour. Old habits die hard."

She was tempted to ask him to tell her his 'long story' about the carnie circuit that he'd said he'd travelled with his dad, but she resisted the urge to get side-tracked. Another time.

"So is the insomnia connected to sleeping alone, or is that something separate?"

"Sleeping alone makes it worse because there's nothing to distract me, but the insomnia began before I started sleeping by myself, so it's something separate."

"What?"

"Many things. Nothing. Existential angst. Who knows?"

"When did it start?"

He cocked his head on one side and considered trying to distract her with another snarky comment about her interrogation technique, but then decided he owed her at least this much and said instead, "When I was a teenager. Fifteen, sixteen, somewhere around there."

"So it's not connected to some specific event?"

"Not at that point, no."

"Life has conspired against you." She smiled at him.

"Something like that."

"So, do you find that you can't slow your brain down enough to sleep; you get caught in the tangle of your own thoughts and don't know how to get free?"

He looked at her. Gave a little shrug. "Sometimes. Doesn't that happen to everyone? You certainly sound like you know something about it."

"Maybe. And now I guess you have nightmares too?"

"Well, I have to fall asleep first in order to dream, but yes, they don't help."

He was starting to look a little moody and guarded, so she decided not to pursue that angle.

"So why did you sleep better with me here than with Cho?"

He had hoped she wouldn't ask that particular question.

"What makes you think I did?"

"Because I woke up before you did, remember? I saw how deeply you were sleeping. That wasn't a restless keep-Cho-awake-all-night kind of sleep."

He looked at her. She looked at him.

"I feel safe with you here," he said eventually. Hesitantly.

She raised her eyebrows quizzically. "Cho doesn't make you feel safe?"

"Not to cast any aspersions on Cho's body-guarding abilities, but you would be my first choice in that regard. If that was what I meant, which it wasn't."

"Okay. What did you mean? And thanks, by the way." She gave him a little smile which was mostly in her eyes.

He didn't know how to explain. He sighed and leaned back against his pillows for a moment, trying to find the words.

"If you're here with me, then I know you're safe. If you're safe, then I'm safe. I don't consciously worry, but somewhere underneath, I suppose I do."

"You're afraid of losing me to the dark side if you let me out of your sight? I have to say, I know the feeling."

He had been almost afraid to look at her, but now he did. She was giving him her half smile. He smiled back. She didn't seem to be reading too much into all this. That was a relief. Sort of. Well, apparently what had been a giant step for Patrick Jane had only been a tiny step for his relationship with Lisbon. Which he was fine with. Up to a point.

"So, do I get to ask you 20 personal questions now?"

"Absolutely not."

"For someone who prides herself on her sense of fairness, you're certainly letting your standards slip."

"I believe in justice, Jane, not fairness. Life isn't fair, as you well know."

"Semantics, Lisbon."

"I think it's time we went to sleep, don't you?"

"Coward."

She gave him a Look. He leaned over as if to turn the light out, but instead grabbed a handful of her hair and gave it a quick squeeze. He let it go again almost immediately, but she still managed to give him a good smack on the arm before he could move it out of the way. She glared at him.

"Just checking it was dry. You seem to have taken my advice to heart, Lisbon. Good girl."

He snapped the light off hurriedly before her steely gaze could reduce him to a smoking pile of dust.

"Goodnight, Lisbon."

"Goodnight, Jane."

Lisbon lay thinking about what Jane had told her. It wasn't that unexpected. No big deal, really. After losing his family the way he had, it was logical that he would worry about other people he cared about. Especially with Red John still out there nursing a grudge against him. So why did she feel so... what was she feeling? She wasn't sure, but it was big, whatever it was. Maybe it was just the fact that he had talked to her about it that was so astounding. He so rarely told her anything personal. Why had he talked to her so openly? Especially so close on the heels of their rather alarming conversation in the car the other day.

Do not go down that road, Teresa Lisbon, she told herself firmly. Jane was in no way ready for anything even remotely non-platonic. He was obsessed with Red John. He still wore his wedding ring. And he still held onto that expensive, creepy, ghost house of his in Malibu, refusing to either use it or sell it. None of which meant that he didn't care about her, of course, but she wasn't prepared to take on all that unresolved emotional baggage. Besides, she wasn't exactly the poster-girl for emotional health herself. When it came to interpersonal relationships, she was almost pathologically mistrustful of herself, other people and the world at large. Jane would be better off with someone golden and carefree. Her insides twisted rebelliously at the thought. Okay, scratch that. Jane belonged to her, but she wasn't ready yet. He wasn't ready yet. She just hoped that there was going to be time, somewhere in the future, for them to figure it out. But not yet.

Jane could tell she was thinking through what he'd said. It was at times like these that he wished he really could read her mind. He knew she worried slightly that he could (not that she'd ever admit it), but apart from the knowledge one picks up from spending a great deal of time with someone, along with a few astute guesses, he really had no idea what went on in her head. Teresa Lisbon was a complicated woman. There were parts of her that were clear and easy to read, but the rest was a mystery. It was one of the many things he liked that about her, but right now it was maddeningly inconvenient. He was feeling ever so slightly panicky in the wake of their conversation, and a silent contemplative Lisbon was not helping.

But then she fell asleep, and the world immediately slowed down and became calm and safe. What he'd told her had been true, but it hadn't been the whole truth. The part he hadn't told her was that when she had allowed herself to be vulnerable enough to fall asleep in front of him, he had come to a wonderful realisation. Whether she intended to or not, Teresa Lisbon trusted him. And somehow, somewhere along the way, earning her trust had become vitally important to him. He knew her trust and her love were intimately connected and, while he wouldn't exactly object to her wanting him for his body (he should be so lucky), he actually (slightly desperately) wanted the whole package deal. And so the miraculous awareness that she trusted him somewhere deep within herself had opened such a wonderful world of possibilities that all other thoughts had been chased from his mind for the first time in a very long time. And so he had slept. Happy. Peaceful. And safe.

'The heart wants what the heart wants,' Jane had once said, and his own words had come back to haunt him. His heart had sidled carefully past his anger, guilt, hatred and pain and had chosen to love again, without consulting his brain on the matter at all. Which meant that he was being confronted with a fork in the road; the possibility of a new direction and a new destination. More and more these days he was finding himself distracted from the ghosts of his painful past, his lost loves and his invisible nemesis by the response of his heart to the very real, very alive presence of Teresa Lisbon. And with her lying asleep within reach of his touch, it seemed almost easy to imagine taking the road that would enable him to watch her sleep every night.

He had already changed a great deal from the man he had been before Red John had shattered his life. Looking back, he sometimes couldn't recognise himself in his old self at all. It wasn't that he had changed in his essentials, but his understanding and his priorities had shifted beyond recognition and that had somehow made him an entirely different person. And this new person that he was still in the process of becoming was inextricably bound up with Lisbon. She had slipped past his defences and helped play a formative role in shaping who he was today, and, more importantly, who he could be in the future. It mattered to him how she saw him. He needed her.

Was her reluctant, unacknowledged and surprising faith in him misplaced? Could he make that agonising choice to let go of one goal in order to achieve another? He didn't know. Would she wait for him to figure it out? Watching her as she slipped into her silent breathing mode, he thought his chances that she would were fairly good. He had been a little afraid that last night had just been a fluke, which is why he'd so badly wanted to retest his theory tonight. But it was true. She, who trusted no-one, was learning to trust him. That was a very good sign. It awakened in Jane something he thought had died a long time ago. Hope. Jane was smiling when he drifted off to sleep.

Lisbon had evidently fiddled with the blinds before they went to bed, because they were firmly blocking the light out when Jane woke up the next morning. He had slept much later than he had expected to and Lisbon was nowhere to be seen. He spotted a note on her pillow. "Meet you outside when you're ready," it said. Her things were gone, too, so he was apparently holding up the cavalry. He showered hurriedly, collected his belongings and went to find Lisbon. She was sitting on a bench in the sun, drinking coffee and looking uncharacteristically relaxed.

"Hey," she said when she saw him, "I got you some food to eat in the car, if that's okay. We should be getting going."

"That's fine. Sorry to keep you waiting. Why didn't you wake me up?"

She smiled at him. "After all the trouble we went to to get you to sleep? Not likely. The others have already left. Shall we go?"

"After you."

They climbed into the car and Jane happily got stuck into his tea and breakfast.

"By the way, Van Pelt has organised for you to go on a CPR course tomorrow. At breakfast we came up with a list of other things that we think you should learn to do. It's written on one of those napkins." She gave him a mischievous grin.

Jane groaned. Sleeping was more dangerous than he'd thought. And this just confirmed his theory that it was never safe to let Lisbon out of his sight.

END