Written for a kink meme prompt, which is as follows (if people are uninterested in spoilers, move along):

Because there is not enough genius!Kirk. An angry priestess (or whatever cliche'd aggrieved Kirksex-victim) completely strips Kirk of all his sexual impulses. Suddenly Kirk is super-genius smart and nice and sensitive and not-an-ass and the crew has much rejoicing. Then Kirk in his disgustingly genius smartyness starts stepping on toes when he shows he's fully capable of running the whole ship all by his nerdy lonesome, and it gets so bad that the crew runs back to the priestess (or etc aggrieved party) and begs her(/him/it/they/???) to put his perviness back plzkthankstobemakingkirklessannoying. Gen is cool, especially since Kirk has no sex-drive, but K/S makes this one swoooon. Specific prompt is specific...

OP anon, you rule for coming up with such a fun prompt! I had fun writing it and I hope you enjoy.

x

The Lost Aspect

x

They were about to send a search party down to the planet when Kirk signaled to Scotty that he was ready to be beamed up, which was something of a shock, since the crew of the Enterprise had spent the last nineteen point eight eight four hours (according to Spock) worrying about what had happened to their captain's communicator and, more importantly, their captain. Instead of debating the point, Scotty beamed Kirk up. Spock, McCoy, and Uhura met their captain in the transporter room.

"Good morning," said Kirk, materializing cheerfully unharmed. He was immediately ambushed by his bear of a chief medical officer.

"Hold still," growled McCoy, running a tricorder over him and frowning at the readings he received. "You're fine. What happened?"

Spock cleared his throat and McCoy rolled his eyes, backing away to let Spock do his job. Spock approached Kirk, concern evident in his eyes. "Captain, you were supposed to check in at twenty two forty five last night. When we attempted to reach you by communicator, we could not locate your signal and were unable to establish contact with you. What occurred on the planet's surface to prevent us from speaking with you?"

Kirk smiled widely at his boyfriend, and to everybody's total shock, pecked him on the lips. Spock took on the basic demeanor of an iceberg. Kirk had never been so obvious before. The bridge crew knew about their relationship, but it wasn't like the captain flaunted it (much).

"I'm glad you missed me," said Kirk sweetly. "And you too, guys." He approached McCoy and hugged him tightly. McCoy, too shocked to speak, stood still as a statue while Kirk squeezed him. Kirk proceeded to hug Uhura and Scotty in much the same manner.

Spock had recovered slightly by the time Kirk was finished with the others.

"Captain, are you feeling… normal?"

"I feel wonderful," said Kirk buoyantly. "I'm sorry you guys were worrying about me. See, I signed the treaty and sent Sulu and Riley back up, which you know, but then got to talking with this really interesting woman—" Everybody could see where this was going. "—who turned out to be a priestess of chastity—" Or not? "—so, you know me, I convinced her to reconsider her vows—" Ah, there it was. "—but she didn't take very well to that idea, and next thing I knew, I was tied to an altar surrounded by five dancing gibbons and a lot of smoke and that priestess. She was chanting in this weird language, and I blacked out, and when I woke up I was in the field you beamed me up from."

"Surely one of the conditions of y'all's non-monogamy is that shit like this doesn't happen," McCoy muttered to Spock. Spock ignored him, approaching Kirk once more.

"Captain, could you perhaps tell us more about the nature of this ritual she performed, or speculate on its effects?"

"Oh, I know what it was meant for," said Kirk, smiling brilliantly. "It took away my sex drive. Now, I'm going to check in at the bridge and go to bed."

With that, he left the transporter room. Spock, looking as if he'd swallowed a fly on accident, followed him stiffly.

McCoy couldn't help it. He burst out laughing. Eventually, he started crying, at which point Uhura and Scotty escorted him to his quarters and treated him with alcohol.

"I'm sorry," McCoy wheezed eventually, clutching his glass of scotch. "It's just—Jim without a sex drive?" He burst into fresh peals of laughter.

x

Back in their bedroom, Spock was floored.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, 'No, thanks,'" said Kirk, yawning widely. "I think I'll just turn in. I had a long day, you know."

"But—Jim—"

"What is it?"

"In the four years, two months, and seventeen days I have known you, you have never once, under normal circumstances, refused the sexual advances of… anything."

"Don't you mean anyone?"

"Beta IV."

"Listen, just because it had tentacles…"

"It was non-sentient, Jim."

"You can't say it didn't have intelligence, it knew exactly where to put—"

"What I am trying to say is that I will now escort you to sickbay."

"Just because I'm tired? Come on! I'm fine!"

"Fine is unacceptable. Fine has varying definitions. Come with me, please."

It was no use arguing with Spock; he had gone into Competent First Officer mode. Kirk allowed himself to be dragged down to McCoy's, who went puce when Spock, in his characteristically blunt manner, described the exact nature of the problem.

"Not sure what I can do for you, Spock," said McCoy, messing with his instruments and avoiding Spock's gaze. "If you've, uh, tried everythin' you can, and still aren't… gettin' a response, well, that's between the two of you."

Spock eyed Kirk, who was kicking his heels from the edge of the biobed. "I have not attempted every option available," Spock said slowly.

"Aaand that's about all I can take," said McCoy, pushing Kirk off of the bed and shoving him and Spock in the direction of the exit. "If you tell me anythin' else about your sex life I will throw up right here and now. Out."

Back in their room, thirty minutes later, Spock gave up and went to bed. Kirk was asleep by the time Spock turned the lights off. Spock took longer than usual to disappear into dreams. He hadn't realized how much he missed the warmth of Kirk's arms.

x

Kirk's shift began four hours before Spock's. Kirk marched onto the bridge looking like a new man. His uniform was fresh, his posture was perfect, and his smile was almost disturbingly wide.

"Good morning, captain," the bridge crew chorused sleepily.

"Good morning!" Kirk cried, bounding over to the science station. "Status report, Mr. Chekov."

"Mr. Scott is reporting a ten percent drop in power, keptin," said Chekov, looking concerned. "He blames the solar winds near the Laurwentian system."

"Excellent! Tell him to compensate by shifting the matter-antimatter power levels to forty four hPs and turning off the thermoregulator in engine three."

Chekov blinked at Kirk. "We had not considered that option, keptin," he said slowly. "I will inform Mr. Scott of your solution to the problem."

"Sounds wonderful. Uhura, anything from Starfleet?"

"Our orders to explore fifth planet of Volen III have been upgraded to priority. A Klingon message expressing interest in the planet was intercepted and translated yesterday and authenticated early this morning."

"Lay in a course for—" Kirk glanced at the helm. Sulu was helping Lieutenant Glen at the engineering panel. "I'll do it."

Everybody watched as Kirk skipped down to the helm and tapped rapidly at the controls. Sulu, who had started towards his station, had widened his eyes to the point that they looked like they were going to pop.

Kirk backed away and plopped into his chair, looking preoccupied. Sulu approached the helm.

"Captain," Sulu said slowly, eyes running over the instruments. "You plotted a course around Gryfon, why—oh. Oh."

"Yes, the gravitational pull from the Gryfon system's third sun should slip us through the eddies smoothly. We'll also sneak past that pesky neutral zone the Romulans set up near Dasil. And if needed, we can beam up some supplies when we pass Ouray VII."

"And you cut the travel time down from a day and a half to—twenty three hours."

"We can shave another, say, seven hours off that if you'll tell Scotty to shift the nacelle heatsource into the dilithium crystal chamber," said Kirk to Uhura. "That panel should be easy to move. That way we can use the residual heat to insulate the crystals, increasing their output."

"Yes, sir," said Uhura, reaching for inter-ship communications.

Chekov looked like he was about to object.

"What is it, ensign?" said Kirk.

"Sir, the power lines—"

"Last time the Enterprise was in for repairs, Spock had them reroute the main lines through some new Jeffries tubes," said Kirk. "Don't worry about it."

Chekov closed his mouth. Surreptitiously, he pulled up the ship's blueprints on the science station's screen. The captain was right.

Scotty was sounding more and more skeptical each time the bridge hailed him to give another odd order about increasing power efficiency, especially considering how well those orders were working out.

"Have we hired a new engineer ah don't know about?" he said crossly to Uhura. "It's nice that somebody's orderin' all this work t' be done, but how do they know th' ship so well?"

"It's the captain," said Uhura quietly. "He's being… oddly intelligent."

"He's a smart man, but he can't be th' one makin' all of these changes. Ah didn't even know the heatsource panel was portable."

"I assure you, Kirk is the one giving these orders," said Uhura. "You really ought to come to the bridge at some point. He's giving Sulu a shoulder massage."

"What?"

"I forgot to mention, he's also being very… nice."

By the time Spock got to the bridge, the crew was almost blissfully relaxed. Kirk had fetched them coffee and tea from the closest replicator and had talked to each of them for about thirty minutes about their most pressing personal problems. Scotty, who had arrived from the engine room, was sprawled in his seat at the engineering panel looking like Christmas had come early. Uhura's nails were shiny with a new layer of polish; Kirk had proved himself to be quite the manicurist, and he hadn't even hit on her while he was painting her fingers. Chekov and Sulu, who had been fighting until Kirk had sat them down and talked them kindly through their issues, were looking like they wanted to leave the bridge and go resolve some more issues, privately.

The only thing that irritated them was that Kirk was insisting on helping them with their jobs, which meant basically that he would press the buttons and do the calculations for them, leaving them with little to work on. But they didn't mind that badly; they were all tired from staying up two nights previously worrying about Kirk being stranded planetside.

They straightened up when Spock walked in. Kirk glanced up from the weapons panel to smile at him. Spock gave him the eyebrow and settled down at the science station. Kirk waltzed over to him.

"Good morning, dearest! Did you sleep good?"

"I believe the correct grammar would be, 'Did you sleep well,' and one cannot apply moral values to an action according to accepted modern philosophy," said Spock, peering into the deck tricorder. "However, to answer your question, I did not sleep well."

"I'm sorry, how come?"

"I would prefer not to discuss—what are you doing?"

Spock had wrapped his hand around Kirk's outstretched wrist. Kirk had been reaching for one of Spock's instruments.

"I was just going to check the atmospheric readings," said Kirk innocently.

"Since there is no current emergency, you may stay clear of my station," said Spock firmly, moving Kirk back a foot. "Thank you for your concern, but as the science officer, I am more than capable of monitoring atmospheric readings myself."

"Sorry to offend," said Kirk, sounding genuinely apologetic. It suddenly occurred to Spock that Kirk had not actually tried to irritate him since he had returned from the planet. The thought made Spock strangely sad.

Kirk was the same for the rest of the day. That night, Spock tried even harder to talk Kirk into sex, but Kirk simply wasn't interested. He scrambled out Spock's arms and offered to do anything else with him—3D chess, math games, a movie—but Spock wasn't in the mood. He excused himself and went to sleep, fitfully. Kirk stayed up late doing calculus for fun.

The next day, the bridge crew were less amused by Kirk's helpfulness. Whenever their backs were turned Kirk was at their station, doing their assigned tasks for the next few hours, leaving them with almost no work. He had a hard time getting to Spock's panel, but he managed nonetheless, resorting to subterfuge if necessary, depriving Spock of work and leaving his first officer even more frustrated than usual.

Kirk took Spock, McCoy, Sulu, and two red-shirted security guards to the surface of the fifth planet of Volen III. The world turned out to be rich in aluminum, which Kirk somehow knew just by glancing around, telling Spock what was going on even before Spock had gotten a tricorder reading. When they were attacked suddenly by natives, Kirk made the security personel redundant by stunning all of their attackers before the guards could even unholster their weapons. When another attack came, injuring Lieutenant Browning, Kirk drove the abandoned hovercar they found on the planet's surface, depriving Sulu of a job. He even tended to the Lieutenant's wounds, patching the woman up better than McCoy was willing to admit.

When they beamed back, Spock drew McCoy and Sulu aside while Kirk went back to the bridge, still bubbling with energy.

"Most uncharacteristic, do you not agree?" Spock said pointedly to McCoy, who was still smarting over Kirk's handling of the injured guard.

"Alright, fine, I agree," said McCoy, scowling. "I can't believe I'm not arguin' with you, but he is bein'—hell, I don't even know know what he's bein'."

"He is totally unhindered by sexual impulses," said Sulu. "This is clearly the Kirk we would have had if he hadn't been… Kirk."

"He is extremely efficient, intelligent, and capable," said Spock slowly, as if he were trying to convince himself. "There is no true reason to worry about his condition."

"But he's damn annoyin'," said McCoy. "Doin' everybody's job like that, and bein' so—"

"Nice," said Sulu.

McCoy nodded in agreement. "Exactly. He's considerate and thoughtful. He actually had a conversation with one of my nurses the other day that wasn't centered on the joining of their anatomy."

"Disturbing," said Spock quietly.

"We're not talkin' about your problem," said McCoy dangerously to Spock. Sulu, catching on, grinned.

"Kirk has been unremarkable in bed, then?" Sulu said to Spock, ignoring McCoy's splutters.

"The captain has not—we have not—" Spock's mouth twisted.

"At all? Since he got back?" said Sulu, eyes wide.

"Yes," said Spock shortly.

Sulu whistled. "We've really got a problem, then," he said. "I think we should go back to the planet with the priestess."

"But that's half the quadrant away," said McCoy.

"You exaggerate," said Spock. "I agree with Sulu. The captain must be returned to his original state." He paused. "For the sake of the crew."

Sulu patted Spock's shoulder sympathetically. "I know the feeling," he said compassionately. Spock pretended like he didn't understand, but Sulu didn't mind.

x

Spock tried to talk to Kirk about returning to the priestesses' planet, but Kirk would have none of it. He explained that the removal of his sex drive had made him a better person in many ways. He was practical, helpful, and controlled, now. Spock was unable to find fault with his logic, but he tried, in his particular way, to describe exactly what it was that he missed, but the words would not come out right and Kirk just pecked him on the cheek and patted his shoulder.

"Your actions just now, Jim," said Spock, still attempting to voice his thoughts. "You are not as passionate as usual, not as—human."

Kirk laughed. "That doesn't make any sense, dear," he said. Scotty hailed him and he turned to the intercom on the wall.

"I know," said Spock half to himself. "That is the point."

x

"I think we're going to have to involve Starfleet," said Uhura. The bridge crew was meeting without Kirk to discuss the situation.

"How will they help?" said Chekov.

"They won't," said Uhura. "Here's my idea."

Uhura's plan was simple to the point of brilliance. They would let a crybaby loose, without Kirk's knowledge (although it would be very hard for him not to notice, not with his new level of attention to detail). Once the crybaby started broadcasting on Federation frequency (which Uhura could easily hook up, since she knew all of their codes), Kirk would have to follow its instructions. They would request the return of the Enterprise to the planet, and once there, they could arrange a meeting with the priestess and hopefully convince her to restore Kirk's sex drive.

To everybody's shock, the plan worked. Kirk evidently got most of his creative thinking from his sex drive (which surprised everybody but Spock, who turned an interesting shade of green when Scotty pointed this out). They had been careful to let none of their preparations show in the mechanical log of the ship. They compensated for the air lost in the air lock when the crybaby was released by scheduling a shuttle drill at around the same time, and Scotty worked on the satellite in his workshop, from which he always made odd requests for strange materials. So, a day later, Kirk responded to a call from Starfleet requesting a return to the planet to collect some mineral samples they hadn't thought to ask for the first time around. Kirk acquiesced, but took Spock aside once they had some free time on the bridge.

"Just because we're going back doesn't mean you can try to change me again," said Kirk sternly. "If I thought you capable of it, I'd accuse you of setting this up, but the Federation scientists really do need these samples. And you're basically incapable of subterfuge, aren't you?"

Spock, whose help had not been required in the creation of the crybaby, was able to affirm his innocence. Kirk patted him on the shoulder again and went back to the captain's chair. Spock, nearly gritting his teeth, returned to the science station and glared at his instruments for a while.

Kirk, Scotty, Chekov, and two geologists beamed down to the planet to hunt for the required mineral samples. Spock estimated that they would take between three to five and a half hours to finish the mission. Uhura had made sure that the many samples the Federation requested would not be easy to obtain. Meanwhile, Spock, leading McCoy and Uhura (Sulu had the conn), beamed down to the city to find the priestess, whom Uhura had been unable to contact from their orbit.

After asking directions from the helpful natives, they found her in a medium-sized gray granite temple near the city center. It was mid afternoon, evidently an unpopular time for worshipers, because the temple was empty.

The priestess rose from a carved pedestal as Spock crossed the threshold. She was Kirk's type exactly: brilliant blond hair, an hourglass figure, bright, hazel eyes, and full lips. McCoy muttered something about wasted potential as a goddamn priestess of chastity and Uhura elbowed him in the side. He doubled over, wheezing unattractively.

"Can I help you?" said the priestess to Spock in heavily accented Standard. "You are not a native to my planet. Since you are Vulcan, I can understand your need to worship in the temple of Alikash, who forgives the voracious sexual appetite."

"I am content with my sexual appetites, madam," said Spock diplomatically. "In fact, my contentment with my sexual appetites is what brings me here today." McCoy made retching noises in the background and Uhura elbowed him again. "You have recently removed the sex drive of the captain of my starship, the Enterprise. I come to request its return."

"This I cannot grant," said the priestess. "First, your captain—James Kirk, whom I certainly remember—is not present to receive his lost aspect. Second, I see no reason for it to be returned to him at all."

"We can make his presence possible," said Spock. "My reply to your second objection is less simple. I submit that you have done wrong by removing his sexual impulses. He has changed drastically—"

"But for the better."

"Not entirely," said Spock. "While I cannot deny that he is sharper, more intelligent and helpful now, he is also—annoying. He does all of our jobs and leaves us with no reason to specialize. He has lost his creative spark, which made him the outstanding captain he was. And, while he pays more attention to the morale of individual crew members, he is less capable of handling larger numbers of people." (Spock had noticed this in the dining room the other day, when Kirk had seemed slightly overwhelmed by the number of crew members who wanted to talk to him. He had not been surprised that Kirk's ability to multitask was connected with his sex drive, since he had experienced Kirk's ability to multitask sexually first… hand.) "The research I have done on your god Alikash suggests that she only interferes directly with sexual impulses when they cause negative conflict and flow. You have broken her vow of interference for what I assume must a personal drive for revenge."

The priestess looked taken aback, which was how most people looked after Spock got through unloading that long of a speech on them.

"Captain Kirk's sex drive has caused negative conflict and flow," snapped the priestess, hazel eyes flashing. "I was unable to fulfill my duties as Alikash's priestess for two days since I had to go through a purification ritual after breaking my vows. And I could read in the snippets of his mind I received during the removal ritual that his sexual appetite has caused problems before—severe ones. Am I correct?"

"You are, but the positive aspects of his sexuality outweigh the negative ones," said Spock. "You will make this man loose his career. His crew—my crew—is extremely annoyed with him. Starfleet would not take kindly to an interfering captain, one who does not know where his job stops and others begin."

"Then he deserves to loose it," said the priestess viciously. She looked slightly mad now, as if she were about to fly to pieces. "He—he made me loose my control!"

Spock moved forwards and put a hand on the priestesses' shoulder. Breathing heavily, she gazed up at him. He recognized the hate in the droop of her eyelids.

"I know," he said quietly. "He made me loose my control too. But that is his gift, that he unlocks a part of you that you did not know you possessed. His methods may not be… normal, nor do they always work, but when they do, they create incredible results. This crew is considered one of the best in Starfleet, all because of him. I beg of you, return his aspect, as you call it. He needs it. We need it. I need it."

The priestess finally looked convinced. She drew back from Spock, bent, and lit a stick of incense. "Take this," she said, holding it out to him. "Sacrifice to Alikash, who will require a week of chastity from you in payment. Then bring me your captain and I will return his lost aspect."

Spock nodded, took the incense, and approached the altar.

x

The ten-man security detail Spock requested to capture Kirk was barely successful. Spock had asked them not to stun him, if possible, but they had to, and McCoy had to treat all of them for injuries. Spock and the priestess made sure Kirk was tightly tied to the altar before the priestess waved wakeflower under his nose to revive him. Kirk was still woozy when the ceremony began.

It did not take long. When the smoke had cleared, the priestess cut Kirk's bonds with a ceremonial knife and allowed him to be escorted from her temple. Spock turned back to her near the entrance and bowed, as the natives did on this planet. She bowed back stiffly, but smiled slightly.

Kirk was unsteady on his feet. They brought him to sickbay, where McCoy did a complete physical. He was ready to establish that Kirk was in peak condition, but still needed the blood sample from the lab. Muttering about slow techs, he stalked down to collect it, leaving Kirk and Spock alone.

"I don't really remember anything very well," said Kirk slowly. "It all seems hazy, like only some of me was there."

"Much of you was gone," said Spock.

"It's weird that my sex drive is so important," said Kirk, smiling. A nurse walked by and Kirk watched her closely, eyes fixed on her backside. Spock sighed. Kirk looked up at his first officer.

"I remember you being angrier with me than everybody else," he said.

"I was not angry," said Spock automatically. "That would preclude my having—"

"Emotions," said Kirk. "Give it up, won't you? Of course you've got emotions." A light came into his eyes and he grabbed Spock's hand. "I could—convince you. We could take some time off and head back to the room when Bones tells me I'm fit for duty. He'll have medically insured that I'm fit for other things, too."

Spock felt his face grow green. "I'm afraid that in order to provide payment to the priestess, I was forced to take a vow of chastity that lasts for a week."

Kirk went pale. "A—a week? Seven days?" Spock nodded grimly. "Dear god," said Kirk faintly. "I don't know if I can last that long."

Spock was confused. "You do not have to. I am not your only sexual partner."

Kirk wouldn't look him in the eye. "Well, actually, you have been for quite a while," he said, sounding slightly ashamed. "Haven't slept with anybody else since Regulus Delta. Didn't feel like it. You're the only man I need. The priestess—well—she was drunk, and I encouraged her to sleep with this guy she really liked, and it turned out that the guy was an asshole so I sort of rescued her and when she woke up she thought she'd slept with me and things went downhill from there."

"Regulus Delta—we visited that planet eight months ago," said Spock.

"Yeah," said Kirk, squirming. "Sorry I didn't tell you. I have a reputation to keep up, you—mmph!"

Spock had kissed him. Ignoring Kirk's protests, Spock hefted him off of the biobed and into his arms. McCoy appeared at the door and nearly dropped his clipboard when Spock swept by him.

"I trust the captain's blood readings are normal?" said Spock calmly.

"Uh," said McCoy, eyes huge. "Yeah…"

"Excellent. Please inform Lieutenant Uhura that the captain and I will be on the bridge in approximately forty five minutes, and that we are not to be disturbed until then." He looked down at Kirk and, eyebrow slightly raised, continued: "I have a very important vow to break."

x