breath in for luck

AXELKAIRI

Even though she has a fiery core with a kinky personality to match it, he can't get past that innocent smile she gives him every time she looks at him. He can't get past her childish mannerisms, and the way she blushes whenever a conversation gets too sexual. Even when she acts like she wants something just a little more intimate then what she's used to, she backs off last minute and mutters apologies under her breath.

Even though he knows she has another side to her that only he gets to see; the one where she'll tease him till he's hard and then just leave him without another word; the one where she'll run her fingers down his chest until she reaches the brim of his pants, biting her lip seductively, because she knows that he wants her. He can't get past the fact that all they can ever be is friends. Not even friends with benefits, because he never gets anything beneficial in the slightest out of their relationship. He'll get the occasional kiss that lingers just long enough for him to want more, but anytime it's about to go a little bit further she ends it.

She said she's afraid of commitment. She said she's afraid of love. She doesn't even believe that love is real, or that it could actually exist between two people who want a relationship like that. So, when she tells him she'll give in when she finds the man she loves, he gives up on all hope of there actually being more then just friends. He has other girls though, and other ways to please himself, but those never last long. Hell, he doesn't even remember most of their names, and he sure doesn't think they remember his. He isn't even sure if sex should count when you're wasted.

Even though he knows her better then any other guy in the world, he's still not believing what's happening.

He'd let her intertwine her fingers with his own, and drag him along behind her off towards a direction that did not lead to his home. "It'll just be a minute," she'd said in such a sweet voice that he couldn't deny her. Could he ever deny her? The fiery, red-head, with the violet eyes. Not eyes that made him melt, because he wasn't that kind of guy, but eyes that made him shiver. Shiver with want, with lust, with a longing for her that just seemed so far out of reach.

Part of him was questioning whether or not he should call Roxas to tell him he wouldn't be home tonight, but he hadn't seen a reason why. When she said just a minute, he was sure she meant it. At least that's what he had thought.

She'd dragged him up to her apartment, and after lingering in front of the door for a few minutes fumbling with her keys, she opened it up and walked inside. The door remained slightly ajar, but he didn't dare move in. He hadn't planned to until he could hear her voice calling for him from the other side. "You can come in," she'd said, just loud enough for him to hear.

This was a dangerous game they were playing.

He'd slowly walked in, and the door shut behind him with a soft thud. He could see her shoes discarded by the entry way, but she's nowhere in site. He's hesitant to walk in any farther, because he doesn't want her to feel like he's infringing on her privacy.

He can hear her footsteps padding softly not too far off from him, followed swiftly by a faint calling. "Axel," he hears her in the same tone as earlier. "Axel, come here." His body tenses up, because he isn't sure that he wants to walk in any farther. Sure, he wants to, but he isn't sure that she even knows where she's planning on taking this.

He thinks maybe he is over-analyzing the whole situation. Maybe she just wants to give him a gift that she bought for him the day before. Maybe she just wants to show him the new color she decided to paint her bedroom. Walking in to a girl's house didn't always mean she was planning on having sex with you. Well, generally it did for him, but walking into Kairi's house never meant that.

He discards his shoes next to hers, walking around the foyer bend to try and find where her voice is coming from. She's not too far away, her small figure leaning against the doorway to another room. She motions for him to come closer, and when he tries to speak to her she puts a finger to her lips. He doesn't know what he was planning on saying anyways, because he doesn't know what to say in a situation like this. As much as he wants to move closer to her, he also doesn't just want to be left again. As much as he he wants to believe this was like every other time with her, she had never been this seductive around him. She'd never been this suggestive towards him. The only time he stepped this far into her house was when she had a dinner party, and that was actually during the day.

The waning moon casts slivered shadows through her windows that creep around the objects, and give him just enough light to see her. She looks pale under the soft moon, but leaning against that frame she no longer looks innocent. He walks close enough to scrutinize her under the dim light, because he isn't sure if he's getting her intentions right. He wonders if she's testing him, but part of him is getting sick of wondering about what's going through her head, because he feels like he's wondered about her long enough.

She steps away from him and into the room behind her. He glances past her, and can see under the silver lighting that it's a bedroom. He thinks of this as permission to proceed, so he walks up to her once again. He lets his fingers trace down her cheek, but she won't look up at him. She's staring straight at his chest, and then down to her twiddling thumbs. He runs his hand down to her chin, thinking that she should at least look at him, because he doesn't know what to do, and she isn't giving him clear signals on what's supposed to be going on.

With her chin tilted, he realizes she looked much more seductive. When she looking at him now though, eye-to-eye, face-to-face, she looks like an innocent little girl. Her big round eyes look at him, waiting for him to do something. Waiting for him to make a decision. She's waiting for him to make a move, because she was never good at making the first move to begin with.

Does she even know what she's doing? Does he even know what he's doing? He's the one who was always complaining to her about commitment. He's the one who was always talking about how dumb relationships were, and she was better off without one anyways. How relationships were only ever skin deep, and those that were deeper only left a bigger scar.

He's afraid of commitment, and even though he wants her more then she can ever imagine, he's still kind of hoping that she'll call it off before anything actually does happen. As much as he wants to look at her, to feel her, to touch her; he doesn't want what will come after that. Part of him is grasping onto them being 'just friends', because that means that he can't screw things up with her. That means that he has one girl in the world who he doesn't have to ditch whenever she actually considers being a little more then a one-night-stand.

He doesn't even have time to think before she's wrapped her arm around his neck, pulling his face down closer to hers. She presses her lips firmly onto him, a lot more firm then she ever had before. She tastes sweet, like strawberries or watermelon. Honestly, he should know her taste by now, but no one really gives a damn about the difference between fruit flavors anyways. All he's paying attention to is the fact that she's just as desperate as he is. The way she's running her tongue along his lips, and pressing herself against him so there's barely room to breath. Her fingertips dig into his back through his jacket, and he's glad that she doesn't have fingernails like a lot of girls he's done before.

She pulls away from him for a second, and for a moment he's scared that she's ending it there. He doesn't want her to end it, he doesn't want to have to leave. She's smiling at him though, with her cute innocent smile, and it's enough reassurance for him that she isn't done with him yet.

She reaches forward with her leg, and shuts the door behind him with a forceful kick. She giggles in delight at the expression on his face, because the more she does the more shocked he seems to get. He hoists her up so that her legs are wrapped around him, and in a matter of seconds she's kissing him again. She's traces her lips down his jawline, holding on to him tighter as he starts walking her to the bed.

He hadn't noticed it before, but she's shaking ever so slightly. He can tell she's trying to hide it, but she's scared. She's scared because she has no idea what she's doing. It makes him feel guilty, because he feels like he's making her do something she doesn't want to do. It makes him feel guilty, because he doesn't know what exactly she's expecting to get out of this.

He pulls away from her, setting her gently down onto her bed and crawling over her. She starts pulling off her shirt, only to be stopped by his firm grasp on her wrist. "I'm going to enjoy this," he explains, and she nods her head, setting her wrist down at her side. He grabs the brim of her shirt, slowly letting his hands travel up her sides with a loose grip on the fabric. She's wiggles, and at first he's afraid she's uncomfortable, but her wiggling is soon followed by a soft giggle.

"That tickles," she whispers. She's smiling up at him with her twinkling eyes. If he starts this... no, if she starts this, there's no way he'll be able to stop. He's afraid, because if she changes her mind mid-way through, he isn't sure if he can control himself.

She's wearing a skirt, and he knows that he doesn't necessarily have to take it off. He wants to though, because he wants to see every inch of her that he can while he can. He's afraid that if she backs down, he'll never get this opportunity again.

Taking his time with her is starting to kill him, and he's sure it's bothering her too, because she's starting to wiggle more as the seconds pass. He slides her skirt down off her waste, so she's now only clad in her undergarments. He examines her, his eyes taking in every detail of her every curve. He knows she can feel where ever his eyes happen to rest, because when he's staring longingly at her breasts she shyly covers them up. "Did I do something wrong?" she asks. He returns his gaze to her face, smirking down at her. He actually thinks he might enjoy her discomfort.

"No, everything is fine." She doesn't seem to understand what he means, but he leans down and kisses her again. He's trying to hold off, trying to keep himself from taking her that very second, because he knows that's not what she wants. He isn't sure what she wants, but he knows that she's scared and at the moment he's too afraid of hurting her. He feels like every touch of his will break her, because every time his skin comes into contact with hers she flinches or tenses up.

He slides his hands underneath her bra strap, unclasping the hooks and pulling it off of her. She quickly covers herself up, and a crimson blush surfaces on her face. "Oh come on, let me look," he teases, moving her hands slowly down. He's trying to give her a way out, a way to tell him to please stop before he takes it too far. He wants to give her the opportunity to make him stop before he gets to a point where he can't stop.

He's starting to think he's just as afraid as she is.

He knows he's smirking, but he's hoping that the black shadow is hiding his face well enough. He leans down, letting his tongue circle around her hardened nipple. She groans, arching her back towards his mouth. He wants to say something comforting to her, but at the moment his mind is completely focused on one thing only.

"Axel..." she whimpers when he starts sucking on her. He feels her start to pull away, only to push into him harder a few seconds later. "Axel... please..."

He stops, looking at her to see what's the matter, but she isn't even looking at him. She has her eyes squeezed shut, and the more he tries to pull away the harder she tugs at him. "Axel just take me. Please don't do this. Just take me. Don't tease me like this."

He wants to say here's a taste of your own medicine, but his mouth can't form the words to say it. He shrugs off his jacket, a part of him feeling even more insecure then before. If anything, he thought he might have been going too fast, but never too slow. Did she really want it that badly?

"Kairi..." he whispers. He knows there isn't a need to whisper, but he's trying his best to hide the husky sound in his voice. "Are you sure you want... do you even know what you want?" She's still groaning and he isn't even touching her. She's clawing at the sheets below her, and he's glad that she's no longer tugging at his back.

"I want you." She tugs him down by his shirt collar, and lets her hands slide up underneath his shirt as she pulls it over his head. "I need you, Axel." She throws his shirt off to the side, letting her fingers slide down his bare chest.

He leans down, burying his head into the crook of her neck. She whimpers when he bites her, his tongue licking up the blood dribbling out of her small wound. "You don't know what you're getting yourself into. Once I start I can't..."

"Sh..." She runs her fingers through his tall red spikes, until her arms are wrapped back around his neck. "I think I'm old enough to decide what I want for myself." She pulls him down closer, so his body is pressed directly on top of her own, and the bulge in his pants lets her know that he really does want her, and he's not trying to back out on her because he doesn't. He's been trying to give her an opening, but she's ignoring it, because she wants this just as bad as he does.

At least she thinks she does.

Her fingers slide down to the brim of his pants, and she feels him take in a deep breath as she slowly unbuttons them. Her fingers tug the zipper down, and she suddenly thinks that maybe she doesn't want this anymore. She can't back out though, because she'd already assured him that she wouldn't. She feels the sucking on her neck stop, and soon realizes that he's helping her remove the pants.

It's too late she reminds herself. She wants this.

His fingers are tugging at the sides of her panties. One last chance to back out. One last chance for her to change her mind. She doesn't, and so he doesn't stop. He pulls them down, and he's starting to think he's the only person to ever see her naked.

He let's his finger slide down to her opening only to find she was already soaking wet. He's smirking again as she thrusts up at his finger. He wants to tease her, to make her beg for him, but she looks so desperate he doesn't think he can. After all the years of what she's done to him, he doesn't have the guts to do it to her. Go figure.

When he starts sliding down his boxers, she shifts her gaze up to the starch white ceiling. He's sure she's never seen a penis before, and she must not want to. That, or she knows what's coming, and she was just mentally preparing herself.

He pushes his finger farther into her, wiggling it around inside her. "You gotta loosen up, babe. I know this is hard for you, but you gotta relax." He pushes her chin down with his free hand so she's looking straight at him. "I'm trying to make this as easy for you as possible." She nods her head in understanding, and he can feel her starting to relax underneath him.

He pushes her legs open as far as they'll go, pulling her up closer to him so that she's comfortable. "Relax. Are you ready?" She nods her head, and before she has a chance to say anything he'd already pushed into her.

She pulls him down closer, trying her best not to scream out. He can feel her breathing quickening as she takes sharp intakes of air. He wants to see if her face; he wants to know whether or not he's hurting her, but she has it hidden from him so he can't tell. Even if he was hurting her, he wasn't sure what else she would have expected. After all, she's probably the tightest girl he's ever met.

He doesn't wait for her to tell him she's all right, because she'll adjust to him soon enough. He's been waiting for this for so long, and it's moments like these he wish he had more control over his actions.

He pounds into her harder, and she's finally able to start keeping up with his momentum. He can't think directly of her, his mind focusing on something of the likes of beating a grandma in the face with a hatchet. If he thinks of her, he knows he'll release too quickly, and after all she's gone through he wants to do his best to make sure she feels just as much pleasure as he does.

She's calling out his name so loud he thinks she' might be shaking the whole house. Her body is dripping sweat, mingling with his own as their skin rubs together. She doesn't even warn him before her whole body has one last massive shiver, and she groans out in ecstasy.

He follows soon after; something he was happy to do. He wasn't sure if he could hold out much longer for her, no matter how hard he tried. Even with unsexual thoughts like beating a grandma in the face holding himself back was only becoming painful for him.

He lays down beside her, unsure of what to do next. She isn't looking at him, her eyes glued to the ceiling and her whole body shaking. He's starting to wish he had taken it slower, because he isn't sure how well her body was able to adjust to him. It was a 'heat of the moment' kind of thing where he couldn't slow himself down though.

He had warned her.

He leans up, reaching over the side of the bed to try and find his discarded clothing. He feels her small fingers wrap gently around his bicep, tugging him back towards her. "Don't leave me," she whimpers. "Just stay here for the night."

He turns around to look at her. Even with the sweat dripping down the sides of her face and her now unruly red hair that's sticking up in numerous places, he still thinks she's beautiful. Even after everything he'd just done with her, she still has that innocent expression that has kept him close for so long. Those wide-eyes that are just begging for something to hold onto. Something dependable.

He lays down next to her, patting the space next to him so she'll scoot closer. She looks unsure as she lies down next to him, her back pressed firmly against his stomach.

"Don't worry. I won't give you anal while you sleep," he mumbles into her ear. She giggles, scooting a little closer to him so that she can nuzzle her face into the bend of his elbow.

He feels her breathing slow down into heavy, even breaths, and he's glad to know that she's comfortable enough to fall asleep next to him. He lets his fingers run through her hair, something he was afraid to do earlier for a fear of coming across as too sentimental. It's tangled and wet, but at the moment he doesn't mind. He's just thinking of what he's going to do now. What he's going to do with the girl sleeping next to him, because he can't just get up and leave her like he's used to doing with other girls. He's crossed the line of 'just friends', but he isn't sure he can cross the line of commitment yet.

He's sure she's too stubborn to just let him up and go, so he isn't worrying, because he doubts he'll have a say in what he wants anyways. Whatever her decision is, as long as he gets more nights like these, he can be happy.

–

so I pretty much wrote this a really long time ago as a birthday gift from Constance Greene but I never posted it on here for some reason... and now I am

sorry for the uber fail at smut!