This isn't as serious as my TMP essay, it's just my thoughts while watching SfS. But seriously, wow. Blatant, unsubtle romance ahead.

Search For Spock Commentary

So, the movie opens with something of a 'previously on Star Trek' thing, although no one actually says that. It just shows one of the scenes from the previous movie, The Wrath of Khan. The scene where Spock dies. And guess who the only other person in this scene is? One person you say? Do you mean to tell me that Spock doesn't take the time to say goodbye to all of his friends?

"Dr McCoy, I am sorry that we did not get along, but know that I have always respected you. Mr Scott, you have been an exemplary engineer and scientist, and I regret not taking the time to get to know you better. Lieutenant Uhura, I have enjoyed our shared interest in music. I leave to you my Vulcan harp. And finally, Jim, my treasured friend, it has been an honour and a privilege to know you."

Well, in an imaginary world where Kirk and Spock are just friends, this is how Spock's death scene would go down. But no. Instead, everyone knows to hang right back and give these two characters their privacy as they say their final, heartfelt goodbye. They even share one last kiss through the glass. No, they really do! Everyone knows that Vulcans kiss by touching their fingers together, right? Spock puts his hand to the glass for Kirk to touch, and Kirk lifts his hand up and gently puts his fingers to the glass to touch Spock's fingers. It's all very romantic, it a tragic, rip your heart out sort of way.

After the opening titles, we get a voice over of Kirk's personal log as he walks around looking angsty. He talks about how they're almost home, and his son, David, and Lieutenant Saavik are exploring the Genesis planet, the trainee crew have been reassigned, "and Enterprise feels like a house with all the children gone. No, far emptier even than that. The death of Spock is like an open wound. It seems that I have left the noblest part of myself back there on that new born planet."

Ok, now can we just screech on the breaks and backpedal for a second here? The Enterprise is like a house with all the children gone? Oh come on, now you know I'm picturing a cute little domestic scene with Kirk & Spock as the two daddies and the trainee crew as the little kiddies who have grown up and left the nest! But then when Kirk says that Spock's death is like an open wound, and that he's left the noblest part of himself on the planet, I can't help but think about the conversation he had with The Companion in Metamorphosis.

Kirk: Companion, do you love the man?

Companion: I do not understand.

Kirk: Is he important to you? More important than anything, is he as though he were a part of you?

Kirk shows that he not only considers Spock a part of him, but the noblest part, and his death is like an open wound, as though literally a part of Kirk has been ripped away. By Kirk's own definition, he loves Spock. And we will see by the end of the movie just how important Spock is to Kirk. As in, more important than anything. As in, even more important than the Enterprise. As in even more important than Kirk's own son! This is way epic here people.

Later, Kirk is about to go off to his quarters when some young cadet stops him. He asks if they're planning a ceremony for when they get back, and Uhura shoots him a look, like 'oh no he didn't,' but luckily for the cadet, Kirk doesn't snap at him. He knows the kid didn't mean any harm. Instead, he responds with "A hero's welcome, son, is that what you'd like? Well God knows there should be. This time we've paid for the party with our dearest blood." Oh, Kirk can be so poetic sometimes! Is it any wonder that I have a crush, even in the movies, with his looks fading? I guess it wasn't just the way he looked in a torn up yellow Starfleet uniform after all. And yes, dearest blood. Again, placing Spock at the top of the list of things that are dear to him. Then we get a nice little angsty shot of Kirk in the turbo lift. Somehow he manages not to cry, like he's swallowing his sadness, because he's the Captain, damn it! He has to be strong for the children crew!

Meanwhile, the Klingons discover the Genesis planet. Good for them.

So as the Enterprise is docking at the space station, Chekov says that he sees an energy reading coming from Spock's quarters, to which Kirk replies that he ordered Spock's quarters sealed. Um, why? No seriously, why? Do they think somebody's gonna go in there and steal Spock's stuff? Or was it just that in his grief, Admiral Kirk ordered their quarters sealed and slept in one of the many other rooms of the ship because he couldn't bear to be in their quarters without him? Because really, who got the Captain's quarters? Spock is the Captain of this vessel. Kirk is an Admiral who Spock gave command of his ship to. So where did Kirk sleep? Or was it just not an issue because they were already practically married, so of course Kirk would join Spock in his quarters? Here's what I think happened. Remember in the previous scene, Kirk was on his way to his quarters. But when we get back to him, we don't see him in his quarters, do we? No, we see him back on the bridge. I think that once Kirk got to their quarters, he found that it was just too painful to be there, what with everything there reminding him of Spock. So, he moved into some other quarters and ordered Spock's quarters sealed.

Kirk then observes, "This entire crew seems on the edge of obsessive behaviour concerning Mr Spock." Uh… Jim, sweetheart… correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't you say that ordering Spock's quarters sealed counts as just a tad obsessive too? No? It's perfectly reasonable behaviour for a man who's just lost his soulmate? Well, ok then. I guess you're right.

Then Uhura says that the door to Spock's quarters has been forced open. So off Kirk goes to see who would dare to defile his beloved's (and his own) living quarters. Kirk meets two security guards there, and get this, the security guards stay outside while Kirk goes into the room alone. Um, ok… I mean, who knows what could be in there waiting for him? But, y'know, these are his quarters as well, so of course he'd be the one to go in there. Then he hears Spock's voice. "Jim… help me… You left me… on Genesis… why did you do that? …Help me." And he sees a figure in the dark. Poor Kirk looks really freaked out, possibly wondering about his mental health, because he can't possibly be hearing and seeing what he thinks he is (because if Spock was really there, Kirk would have sensed him through their mind link.) So he races towards the figure and pulls it into the light… and it's Bones. Kirk is more confused than angry as he asks Bones what the hell he's doing, and then Bones asks Kirk to take him home. Kirk tells him that they are home, so then Bones asks him to climb the steps of Mt Seleya. Kirk says that Mt Seleya is on Vulcan, to which Bones simply replies "Remember…" (Remember that unforgettable night we spent on Mt Seleya?) Then Bones collapses and Kirk calls for the medics.

So then we cut to Commander Morrow telling the crew how great they've all done and how they'll all receive Starfleet's highest commendation (like we expected anything less from the Enterprise crew). Then he says that Scotty is needed on the new ship, the Excelsior. Scotty replies that, with all appreciation, he'd much rather supervise the repair of the Enterprise (and we're all shocked. Scotty/Enterprise FTW!) Morrow then says that the Enterprise isn't going to be repaired, and right now, I don't like this guy (and I don't think I'm meant to). Not only is Spock dead, but Morrow just effectively murdered another beloved character. He even calls her old! What a bastard! Kirk pipes up and says that they'd hoped to take the Enterprise back to Genesis, and he falters a bit as he's speaking (all that not-crying over Spock is starting to catch up with him. Oh Jim, let it all out, I'll hug you!) Morrow then says that going back to Genesis is out of the question, and that they're all under orders not even to discuss Genesis. Apparently it's a galactic controversy, and should be considered "A quarantined planet, and a forbidden subject." (Um, do they know that Saavik & David are there? What if Kirk wants to see his son?)

More on the Klingons learning about the Genesis planet. They want it. And they don't want the Federation to have it. Big surprise.

So then we cut to the Genesis planet, and the science vessel on which David and Saavik are working. David sorta flirts a bit with Saavik, to which she says "Just like your father, so human. And you both have a thing for Vulcans." Ok, so I made up that last part, and he doesn't really flirt with her, but wouldn't it have been cute? Anyway, Saavik finds an animal life form down on the planet near Spock's tube (erm, coffin?). So she and David ask the Captain of the science vessel if they can beam down to the planet to check it out, because they've just got to find out what – or who – it is. Hmm, I wonder…

Ok, now I could go off on a tangent about how Spock isn't really an animal life form, since he's half Vulcan, and Vulcans (or any aliens, for that matter) shouldn't fall into any of the categories of Earth's taxonomy. But then I would have to wonder why any alien life forms have evolved to be remotely humanoid, and in fact, how a human and a Vulcan could possibly reproduce together, since it's only possible with the most closely related species, and even in those rare cases, the offspring is usually infertile. But I learned to suspend disbelief long ago for the sake of entertainment, so let's just accept that Spock is an animal. Just ask Kirk, he'll tell you what an animal Spock is. Oh yes, I went there.

So meanwhile Kirk is having a little get together with Uhura, Sulu & Chekov, and they toast to their absent friends. They ask about the Enterprise (she's one of their absent friends too), and Kirk says that he can't get a straight answer. Then Uhura asks about McCoy (cause he's gone a little loopy recently), and Kirk says that he's now at home, pumped full of tranquilisers. Then the doorbell (or whatever the 23rd Century Star Trek equivalent is) rings and Kirk assumes its Scotty. He indicates for the person to come in, and it's not Scotty. "Sarek" Kirk says, surprised. No formalities to the Ambassador of Vulcan, which isn't all that strange in and of itself, but consider the fact that Spock waited until the very last minute possible to introduce Kirk & McCoy to his parents in Journey to Babel, and that was when they were really close friends. Now Kirk is all 'Sarek', not 'Ambassador Sarek', not even 'Mr Sarek'. Just Sarek. Like these guys hang out all the time. Well, Kirk is his son in law, after all.

Then Kirk calls him Ambassador, and Sarek says that he will speak with Kirk alone, so the others shuffle out in quite a hurry. I don't blame them; Sarek can be pretty intimidating when he wants to be. Kirk starts apologising for not coming to Vulcan to express his sympathies, but Sarek interrupts to say that he's read the mission reports. Then Sarek asks why Kirk left Spock on Genesis, and y'know, he raises an interesting point. Shouldn't the body of the deceased go to his or her family so that they can decide what happens to it? Oh, right, Spock's family did decide what happened to his body. Kirk decided to send it to the Genesis planet. How silly of me, never mind.

Sarek accuses Kirk of denying Spock his future, and for a Vulcan, he gets pretty emotional, and he doesn't try very hard to hide it (but like I said, he is around family, so I guess he can relax a bit more). At Kirk's confusion, Sarek explains that only Spock's body was in death, and because Kirk was the last one with him, he should know that he was supposed to come with Spock to Vulcan. Kirk asks why, and Sarek says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world, "because he asked you to. He entrusted you… with his very essence, with everything that was not of the body. He asked you to bring him to us, and to bring that which he gave you. His katra, his living spirit." Ok, so far it makes sense. Sarek thinks that Kirk has Spock's Katra because Kirk was the last person to be with Spock before he died. Just wait though, it starts to get really interesting in a little while.

Kirk is pretty hurt by the accusation. He says, "Sir, your son meant more to me than you can know (no comment from me, this one slashed itself.) I'd have given my life if it would've saved his (oh jeez, they're not even trying for subtlety anymore!) Believe me when I tell you he made no request of me." Sarek says that Spock wouldn't have spoken of it openly, then he asks to mind meld with Kirk, and Kirk agrees.

So now Kirk has to relive Spock's death, and it really is heartbreaking. Kirk doesn't cry, but he's so close! Sarek breaks the mind meld and says "Forgive me, it is not here. I had assumed he mind melded with you, it is the Vulcan way when the body's end is near." Kirk is utterly miserable as he says that they were separated, and that Spock couldn't touch him. "I see," Sarek replies, "then everything that he was, everything he knew, is lost."

Now, wait a minute. What? All is lost because Kirk doesn't have Spock's katra? Really, Sarek? You're a Vulcan, logic is your thing! Is that the only conclusion you can draw? Kirk doesn't have Spock's katra, so that's it? Sure, Kirk was the last one to be with Spock before he died, but as he's said, Spock couldn't touch him. So, logically, shouldn't you consider the second last person to be with Spock before he died? And then the third last, and so on? Sarek is about to leave, but then Kirk asks him to wait. "He would have found a way. If there was that much at stake, Spock would have found a way."

"Yes," Sarek agrees, "but how?" Oh my God, Sarek, are you kidding me with this? He's not normally this dense, so clearly something else is going on here. Ok, let's see if we can figure this out. Sarek specifically assumed that Spock mind melded with Kirk, because it is the Vulcan way. Sarek does not say 'I assumed he mind melded with someone'. Maybe the katra is generally only given to someone who is very close to the dying Vulcan (like a t'hy'la?) Maybe it's only given to someone else if there are extenuating circumstances (like the fact that Spock really, really doesn't want to die. Hey, Kirk cheated at the Kobayashi Maru because he really, really didn't want to lose. Spock says in STXI that he learned to cheat from Kirk, and giving your soul to someone who isn't your soulmate is totally cheating!)

So Kirk finally ventures the radical idea "What if he joined with someone else?" Because the idea of Spock joining with anyone but Kirk is so way out there that it completely blows both of their minds, but maybe, just maybe, there might be a glimmer of hope after all. I mean really, I love this scene. The expression on Sarek's face, it's like 'someone else?! Well I don't know, it's a long shot, but I suppose it's still worth a try!' Oh, and by the way, "joined". Not "gave his katra". Since when did giving your katra to someone become joining with them? I find this sudden change in terminology very intriguing. Apparently sharing katra is a highly intimate process, which Kirk seems to think involves joining, cause that's the kind of cosy, personal stuff that he & Spock do all the time.

So Kirk goes through the old ship recordings, and sure enough, Spock mind melded with McCoy before he died! Kirk asks Sarek what he must do, and Sarek tells him that he has to bring Spock & McCoy to Mt Seleya on Vulcan, where they can both find peace. Kirk says that what Sarek asks is difficult (because they're forbidden to go to Genesis, where Spock's body is. Morrow said so. See, I told you we weren't supposed to like him. He exists for the sole purpose of standing in Kirk's way.) Sarek says, "You will find a way, Kirk. If you honour them both, you must." Well, Kirk did vow to love, honour and cherish Spock, so he swears that he will.

Some part of me wonders, though, why Sarek can't do any of this. We don't see him again till the end of the movie, after Kirk's gone through all this shit to rescue Spock. Was it some kind of test? 'I had to know if you were good enough to date my son.' Um, you're a bit late there, Sarek. These two are way past dating… And where's Amanda in all this? Shouldn't she be all 'OMG, my son, I need to save him!!' with all her maternal instincts flying about the place? Seriously, this is all about Kirk saving Spock. Every single other character exists solely to either help the hero on his journey, or stand in his way. I swear this is one of those knight in shining armour, damsel in distress stories written with Star trek characters! I'm… almost tempted to call this a remake of Sleeping Beauty. Almost.

Back to the Genesis planet, and it looks like David & Saavik got permission to beam down after all. But the Captain wants them to be very careful, cause he's going out on a limb for them. Anyway, turns out the animal life forms were these weird squidgy alien things that I can't possibly describe to you, so you're just gonna have to watch the movie to see what they look like. Apparently they evolved from the microbes on the tube's surface (and the microbes evolved into animals? Microbes aren't even the same domain as us, let alone falling into the animal kingdom! *Is biology nerd*) Then Saavik asks how they could have evolved so quickly, but David doesn't know (What's wrong with you, David? Why don't you know this?) So anyway, David opens Spock's tube/coffin (morbid fellow, isn't he?) and is surprised to discover that Spock is not there, only Spock's burial robe. Then they hear this weird noise, and I have no idea what it is. Later scenes make me think that it's supposed to be like a baby or a kid crying, but that's not what it sounds like. It sounds like a grown man crying out. Yeah, I don't know. It's weird. Next scene!

Kirk is having drinks with Morrow, and Morrow's first line is "No, absolutely not Jim." Three guesses what they're talking about. He says that Kirk is his best officer, but he has to follow the rules. Kirk is all 'wtf? Spock died for us! Don't give me any of that rules bullshit!' Then Morrow says, "Now wait a minute. This business about Spock and McCoy, honestly, I never understood Vulcan mysticism." (Um, what? 'I don't understand it, so it mustn't be true'? This is what Starfleet has to offer? This closed-minded douche? Seek out new life and new civilisations… unless it involves strange alien mysticism, because we don't want anything to do with weird crap like that!)

"You don't have to believe," Kirk assures Morrow, "I'm not even sure that I believe." Show of hands how many people actually buy this? That's what I thought. Kirk believes everything that Spock says, without question. I'm sure the same would go for Spock's father. Kirk is clearly doing what he does best, manipulating the situation and the people in it. He's trying to get Morrow to identify with him. Go Kirk! Then he says one of the best lines, liek evar! "But if there's even a chance that Spock has an eternal soul, then it's my responsibility." Now, it's easy to think that Kirk is taking responsibility for the welfare of a valued crewmember, as is his duty. But remember, Kirk is not the Captain of the Enterprise anymore. Morrow then reacts to this statement as though Kirk's just said that the space-time continuum is his personal responsibility, having his own personal WTF moment. This clearly has nothing to do with Starfleet duty. Kirk taking responsibility for Spock's soul is very personal. Add to this the fact that Sarek expected Kirk to have Spock's katra, and was absolutely baffled by the idea that it could be with anyone else, and you can start to see why Spock is so clearly Kirk's soulmate, and vice versa. And it's totally canon!

Then Kirk continues with "as surely as if it were my very own." Poetic Kirk iz poetic. How can Morrow not be won over by the love in Kirk's eyes? The guy must have a heart made out of stone, cause he still says no! God, Kirk's expression when Morrow goes on about how Kirk would jeopardise his career if he kept up this 'emotional behaviour' I swear, if looks could kill! (And seriously, 'emotional behaviour'?! How would you react if you lost your soulmate, huh Morrow?! stfu!) Then Kirk forces a grin on his face, cause this guy's clearly a lost cause, and politely excuses himself. (Mad props on Shatner's acting here, by the way. You can practically taste the bitterness in the back of his throat as he says, "I had to try")

So Sulu & Chekov are waiting, and when Kirk gets to them, Sulu asks what the word is. Kirk replies "The word is no. I am therefore going anyway." Yeah, fuck that guy! The way he just says it, like it's not even a question. There's no 'should I or shouldn't I?' internal debate or anything of the sort. He's going, and that's just that. Like, he would've preferred to have permission, but if he doesn't have it, whatever dudes! Kirk never defies orders, and I mean never. Ok, so not never, he's done it once before. In Amok Time. Again, to save Spock's life. That's right, it's always for Spock. Sulu says that he can count on their help (like they're doing it for Kirk, not for Spock. 'You were a great Captain and we're loyal to you. Of course we'll help you save your boyfriend!')

Now we cut to Bones. A Doctor and a Vulcan sharing the same body walk into a bar, stop me if you've heard this one. It's a pretty cool, futuristic looking bar, with tribbles! Bones takes a seat, and the waitress is there almost instantly. She seems pretty cosy with him too. In The Final Frontier, Bones mentions how neither him, Kirk nor Spock are married, and they're spending their shore leave with each other. It appears, though, that Bones is the only one who's stayed remotely in the game (although I'll admit even that's debatable. You could go down the OT3 road here, and in TFF, if you wanted to. I won't though.) In TVH, when Kirk tries to flirt with Gillian, he's so bad at it, like he's way out of practice. Why stay single if you're not gonna get any? Oh right, he's not single. I keep forgetting.

So turns out Bones has been trying to get himself to Genesis. And he's majorly schizo here too. One minute he's Bones, then he's Spock, then he's some combination of the two. "Where's the logic in offering me a ride home, you idiot?!" And I can't tell you how much of a crack up it is to see Bones trying the Vulcan neck pinch! He winds up getting himself taken to jail, because he dared to utter the name Genesis. Apparently freedom of speech has become a thing of the past in the Star Trek universe…

Back to Genesis, and David & Saavik have discovered another life form. Oh, the suspense is killing me! I need to know what the other life form is! I couldn't possibly hazard a guess!

Cut to operation rescue, with each member of the crew just being plain awesome, and Kirk looking sexy in a brown leather jacket (yes, even at 50 or so. Don't judge me.) Uhura's the most awesome here, imo (I mean after Kirk of course). And there's something symbolic about her forcing that little pipsqueak Mr Adventure into the closet that I just can't quite put my finger on. It's just such a fun scene, with everyone all 'yeah, we're defying orders. Wanna make something of it?' in their own unique way. But I still get the feeling that they're doing it all for Kirk, because of their loyalty to him. "Oh, and Admiral… all my hopes." It's pretty clear that this is Kirk going after Spock, with help from his friends. Not that they don't all like Spock, of course, but they're all risking their careers because of their admiration for Kirk, and his love for Spock.

In the next scene, Kirk even says that he can't ask his friends to go any further. "McCoy and I have to do this, the rest of you do not." McCoy has to do it because he's slowly slipping into insanity, but why does Kirk have to? It's not like going to die if he doesn't save Spock. Then again, he is gonna lose his soulmate, which is probably just as bad. But anyway, the crew make it clear that they're sticking with him, which is really awesome of them.

So then we cut to the Captain of the Excelsior, and he's clearly pure evil, because he's filing his nails. What is it about filing nails that's such a bad guy cliché? I will scratch you with my long, sharp nails of DOOM!!! Bwahahaha! This guy just reeks of pathetic as he goes after Kirk, all arrogant and sure of himself. And Kirk's look of utter, steadfast determination as the guy's voice comes over the intercom with "Kirk, if you do this, you'll never sit in the Captain's chair again." He doesn't even dignify that statement with a response, he just calmly orders the Enterprise to warp speed. The Captain of the Excelsior does the same, but Scotty tinkered with the engine, so he fails. I laugh at his failure. Ha ha.

Back on Genesis, Saavik & David are following that weird sound I mentioned earlier, which is so incongruous to what they actually find. It's a little kid crying, but that's not what it sounds like. But that's apparently what it is, so whatever. How did he survive? He's naked and it's snowing. When they get closer, Saavik sees the boy has pointed ears, so she starts talking Vulcan to him, but he clearly has no clue what she's saying. Saavik & David hypothesise that the Genesis effect has regenerated Spock's cells (how convenient). Sorta makes me wonder what they would've done if this hadn't happened. Sarek wanted Kirk to take Spock's katra and his dead body to Mt Seleya. Or did he just want Spock's katra? Cause if that's the case, then why did Kirk want to go to Genesis at all? It's not like he had any way of knowing that Spock was actually gonna be alive when he got there. And why did Bones want to go to Genesis? He started off just asking Kirk to take him to Mt Seleya. Hmm, best not think too hard about these things…

So anyway, David & Saavik tell the Captain that they've found a Vulcan child that they think might be Spock, and they ask him if they can beam aboard. The Captain says that he has to ask Starfleet first. What is it this guy's first day? Even Saavik is like "I'm sure Starfleet would approve, sir", but he's still all 'no no, I can't make my own decisions about this. You guys just stay down on that freezing planet while I wait for further instructions.' Unfortunately, the Klingons have arrived at the Genesis planet too, and they're blocking the science vessel's communications with Starfleet. Then, I kid you not, the Klingons destroy the science vessel with one shot! Apparently the science vessel Captain was the movie equivalent to a red shirt. The Klingon Captain is pissed, though, because he wanted prisoners. Then they discover the three life signs on the planet. Oh noez, Spock is in peril! Hurry, Captain Kirk!

Cut to Captain Kirk, and he is hurrying. And Bones has Spock's voice again. It's simultaneously creepy and sad.

Back on the planet, the evil Klingons have beamed down and are looking for the three life forms, who are sitting down elsewhere to have a little chat. Kid!Spock is wearing Spock's burial robe, which is kinda morbid when you think about it. Anyway, we get a little ethical debate between David & Saavik that no one really cares about because we're all so focussed on cute little kid!Spock. He really is precious! Anyway, blah blah blah, David broke the rules and took short cuts while he was making the Genesis planet and now it's unstable. Yet another device to place Spock in peril. The damsel is in distress, and the hero is charging to the rescue! This is what this movie is, people! This is all this movie is! It's right there! I mean, I think they're also trying to have some kind of moralistic stuff about ethical behaviour in science, but they just sorta skim over it in favour of this blatantly romantic love story between Kirk and Spock! Ain't it great?

The Klingons find Spock's tube, and those weird creatures have evolved further into giant worm-things. For some reason, the head Klingon picks up one of the worm-things and starts strangling it. Evil Klingonz iz evil. Then the worm-thing strangles him back, but the Klingon digs his thumbs into it and it starts bleeding and dies. Scary evil Klingonz iz scary. I guess this is just to show what Kirk is up against. But I'm not worried, because I know that love conquers all. That's the real moral of the story – don't mess with Kirk and Spock's epic love!

So the sun sets really quickly and we see kid!Spock & Saavik taking shelter in a cave while David stands guard. Cute little domestic scene they've got going there. When kid!Spock falls asleep, Saavik goes outside to talk to David. They talk about how the planet is ageing, and Spock is connected with the planet (somehow?) and is also ageing in surges along with the planet (which is good, because no one wants Kirk/Spock with Spock as a child. Isn't it just perfect how Spock gets to be the exact age he was when he died by the time that Kirk gets him off the planet?) David goes on to say that the planet and Spock have only days, maybe hours (way to heap on the tension, guys! Hurry up, Kirk!)

Then Saavik brings up pon-farr, because with Spock's rapid ageing, he'll be experiencing it soon. "Vulcan males must endure it every seventh year of their adult life." Ok, now help me understand this. Spock is really only, like, a few days old, so he shouldn't be having pon-farr at all during this time. So we're obviously going by his biological age. But during this time, Spock ages biologically, like, 50 or so years. So he should go through pon-farr more than once during this time, right? Also, this has gotta seriously screw up Spock's pon-farr cycle. His first one was in Amok Time (yes, it was his first time. If it wasn't, he would have already been married to T'Pring, and we wouldn't have had that incredibly homoerotic ceremony in which Kirk & Spock wrestle in the dirt and no one hooks up with the girl.) His second one would have been between the series and TMP, his third would have been the year before Wrath of Khan (assuming WoK was set in 2282, the way Amok Time was set in 2267. I have a slight obsession with timelines, can you tell?) So Spock's fourth pon-farr would have been in 2288. But with this new body, who knows when Spock's next pon-farr is? Since he only slept with Saavik once, he was probably burning for it all through The Voyage Home, except that he was acting very rational throughout TVH. Maybe Spock & Kirk had wild pon-farr sex between SfS and TVH? Oh yes, there we go. PWP plot-bunny for sale to the highest bidder!

So then they notice that the Klingons are coming closer, and Saavik volunteers to go fight them. While David stays with Spock. After she's just been talking about how Spock will be in pon-farr soon. Clearly, she expects David to take care of this, even though he's not a Vulcan and knows nothing about pon-farr. Then again, he probably doesn't have a much better shot up against the Klingons either. Still, it's interesting that she sees David as a viable possibility to stay with Spock at this time. David, on the other hand, isn't too keen on the idea, choosing to take the Klingons over sex with Spock. Cause screwing your father's boyfriend is just plain wrong!

Back on the Enterprise, Chekov picks up a signal from Starfleet, warning the science vessel about the Enterprise (Lol, I'm sorry, but that's just funny! Beware the mighty Kirk, and his unstoppable love for Spock!) There's no response from the science vessel (because their Captain was incompetent and got himself destroyed). So, unaware that the science vessel is no more, and not wanting them to react with hostility towards the Enterprise (which would have been very scary to see), Kirk has Chekov send his compliments. Then we get a nice scene between Kirk & Bones, in which Bones (in a very Bones-like way) expresses his fear about effectively renting his brain out to Spock. Poor Bones, they both know it shoulda been Kirk in this position. Then Chekov says that there's no response from the science vessel, so Kirk tells him to keep trying.

Now we return to Saavik and Spock, and our little Vulcan is all grown up and ready for pon-farr sex. It's pretty hot, even if nothing really happens on screen. They just share a Vulcan kiss, with finger-stroking involved. Just think, this is what Kirk & Spock do behind closed doors… Or maybe not just behind closed doors, Kirk was quite happy to have Spock give him a backrub on the bridge in front of everyone…

Back to the Enterprise, which has just entered the Genesis sector. And the Klingons have spotted them. The proverbial dragon guarding the castle? This whole movie has such a fairytale remake feel to it, I swear! The Klingons cloak their ship, but not before the Enterprise sees them. Or rather, sees something, but they're not sure what it is. A scout class vessel is all they know. Kirk thinks it could be the science ship, so he patches in a hailing frequency.

Cut to Spock and Saavik catching some post-coital shut-eye. Kirk's hail to the science vessel is coming through Saavik's com. Then, a hand grabs Saavik. It's the Klingons! They've found them! (Talk about perfect timing!) They take Saavik & Spock to where they're holding David prisoner (why did either of them think that one person against these guys would do any good at all?) So the head Klingon is all 'give me the secrets of the Genesis planet!' and Saavik is all 'the planet is going to destroy itself, we have to leave now!' and the Klingon is all 'I will torture you' and it's all very cliché. Then one of the Klingons on the ship tells the head Klingon that there's a federation starship about, so the head Klingon beams up to his ship. Cut to the Enterprise, and poor Kirk is still trying to contact the science vessel. Again, his hail comes through Saavik's com, but I dunno, Klingons mustn't have very good hearing, because none of them seem to notice.

So after the head Klingon is assured that they're cloaked, and the Enterprise is coming within firing range, he feels pretty good about himself. Back to the Enterprise, and Kirk is still trying to contact the science vessel! Give it up, Kirky-boy, they ain't there. Now quit wasting time and get yourself down on that planet! Oh, it's such a tense scene! The Klingons are standing by to charge weapons, and the Enterprise doesn't suspect a thing! And we all know how easily they destroyed the science vessel (and how bravely the science vessel fought). Oh, but this is why we all love Kirk - he haz speshal magik insightz! He sees the distortion created by the cloaked Klingon ship (and he knew to look for it in the first place). The Enterprise goes to red-alert and transfers all energy to weapons. He waits until the Klingon ship lowers its shields to fire, then he gives the order to fire at them. And it totally works, the Klingon ship is damaged enough to turn away. Oh, but we do have a problem, finally. You didn't think it would be that easy for our hero, did you? Apparently, the Enterprise doesn't have shields. So Scotty's not a miracle worker after all.

The Klingon ship turns back around and fires on them! Now with the power cut, there's a very interesting directorial shot. Kirk is in the front, and we can see him. And McCoy is in the background under some kind of light source that I can't identify, and it's all smoky, and he's in silhouette. It looks very meaningful and symbolic, but I have no idea what it's supposed to be saying. McCoy is in the dark because he's… y'know, loopy? Plz explain, Mr Nimoy? I dunno, but it looks cool.

Anyhoo, so now the Enterprise has no shields and no weapons. Luckily, the head Klingon decides not to fire on them, saying that the Enterprise outguns them 10 to 1. They're receiving a hail from the Enterprise, and Kirk bluffs his ass off. He gives the Klingons 2 minutes to surrender, or he will destroy them. But this villain won't be fooled so easily, oh no. He knows something's up. So he hails back and tells Kirk that in fact it's the Enterprise who will surrender. Then he reveals that he has three prisoners on the Genesis planet. As proof, one of the Klingons on the planet gives Saavik the com. When Kirk hears her voice, he asks her if David is there as well. She confirms that he is, and adds that a Vulcan scientist of Kirk's acquaintance is there as well! Kirk is almost speechless. He can't quite believe it. "This… Vulcan, is he alive?" Saavik confirms that, although he's not himself, he is alive. Oh, happy days! Then they pass the com over to David, and we get a sweet little family reunion. David admits to Kirk that the Genesis planet doesn't work, due to his own mistakes. He tells Kirk that he doubts the Klingons will kill them for it, so of course, now the head Klingon has to kill one of the prisoners to prove to Kirk how serious he is. Like we didn't see that one coming a mile away.

The Klingon guard on the planet wanders around, carefully choosing his victim. Spock is so sweet here, he has no idea what's going on. Saavik looks serious, David looks scared but puts on a brave face, and Spock just sorta looks like 'O hai!' Finally, the Klingon settles on Saavik. So David bravely charges at him (seriously, I didn't know he had it in him). He gets himself stabbed, naturally, but you gotta give him credit for trying. Cut to Kirk, who whispers "Saavik? David?" He doesn't even want to acknowledge the third possibility. Let's just take a moment to contemplate this glaring omission, shall we? Then Saavik comes onto the com again, and tells Kirk that David is dead. Poor Kirk, he finally cries! For 34 seconds, Kirk grieves for his son, and it's a touching scene (although whoever wrote Kirk's lines here needs to be fired. "You Klingon bastards, you killed my son! You Klingon bastards, you killed my son! You Klingon bastards." Shatner did the best he could with these lines, but repeating the same line three times in a row can't be easy.) Then the head Klingon threatens to kill one of the remaining two prisoners unless Kirk surrenders his ship (Kirk literally has to choose between Spock and his ship! I forgive the writers!) So Kirk agrees, asking for a minute to inform his crew. The head Klingon, generous guy that he is, gives Kirk two.

Kirk takes another few seconds to go back to grieving, leaning his head on the railing (or maybe its just overwhelming relief that Spock is alive?) Then Kirk asks Sulu how many Klingons would be on the Klingon ship (how much wood would a woodchuck chuck?), and he answers about a dozen. Kirk has a plan. He instructs the Klingons to prepare to beam aboard, and the head Klingon warns Kirk against any tricks. Oh yes, Kirk totally has a plan. Whenever the bad guy says 'no tricks', the good guy always has a trick up his sleeve. Bad guys everywhere, take heed. Never utter this line to your enemy. Never.

So what's Kirk's big plan? He, Chekov and Scotty set the autodestruct on the Enterprise! Holy shit you guys, he means business! The freaking Enterprise! The eighth character of Star Trek, and she's literally got 60 seconds to live! Dear everyone who thinks that Kirk wasn't married in the movies because he was already married to his ship. No. That is all. Oh my God, this is intense. With the autodestruct set, the guys race off to the transporter room. Kirk tells the Klingons to beam aboard just as he and the others beam down to the planet. The Klingons look around for Kirk & his crew, and find the countdown. The head Klingon (who didn't beam aboard, smart guy) yells at his men to get off the ship, but they're too late. The Enterprise explodes and crash lands onto the Genesis planet as Sulu, Chekov, Scotty, Kirk and Bones watch on.

Meanwhile, poor Spock is ageing again, and it looks painful! Kirk and his men race towards the life signs (and oh God, he's got on my favourite jacket again!) One of the Klingons goes to pick Spock up, and Saavik warns him not to. The Klingon should have listened. Spock picks him up and throws him away (this is clearly not a damsel who just sits around and waits for his man!) The Klingon comes back and just looks at Spock. We see a close up of Spock, and his bone structure or something seems to be morphing (to look more like Leonard Nimoy, of course!) Then Kirk finally arrives, and he fires at the Klingon who's standing with Spock. He gets Bones to check Spock out (apparently Bones isn't that far gone yet) and then wanders over to David's body. He kneels down, takes off his jacket, puts it over his son's body, then gets up and goes over to Saavik. He asks her what happened, and she answers, "He gave his life to save us", and then he goes back to Spock. That's it. No, really, that's it. So how many seconds has Kirk spent grieving over his son in this movie in total now? Not even a minute? And how many hours has Kirk spent preoccupied by Spock throughout this movie? Hmm, interesting.

So Kirk asks Bones how Spock (now unconscious from all the pain of ageing) is, and Bones tells him that Spock's body is ageing rapidly, and that his mind is a void (how could he tell that without all his equipment?) Kirk again takes his jacket off, the Starfleet uniform jacket that is (apparently he brought two jackets just so that we could get more gratuitous jacket removal scenes.) Saavik says that they have to get Spock off the planet, because it's what's causing his ageing. But they have no way of getting off the planet because they just destroyed the freaking Enterprise! Kirk's plan isn't looking too smart anymore, is it? But that's ok, because this is a guy who thinks on his feet. That's why he's Captain/Admiral Kirk. He picks up the com which he finds on the ground, and signals the head Klingon. He taunts the Klingon about the fact that he exploded all the Klingons on the Enterprise (talk about ballsy *resists the urge to make a reference to the bulge in his tight pants*) and then he says that he has the secret of the Genesis planet, and that the head Klingon will have to beam them up to his ship to get it.

Instead, the head Klingon beams down to the planet himself. He orders everyone to drop their weapons, and then he says for everyone to move to the side except Kirk. So they do, but they leave Spock behind (Huh?) So the head Klingon starts to order his men to beam up the prisoners, and then Kirk tries to be nonchalant as he says that the head Klingon should take the Vulcan too. The head Klingon yells no, and when Kirk asks why, he says "because you wish it." I swear on my life that this happens! Doncha just love it when the bad guys can just tell how much they mean to each other? It's like when the Squire of Gothos randomly threatened to kill Spock if Kirk didn't do what he said, even though Kirk was pretending to have feelings for the blonde yeoman just a few minutes earlier. I mean, what was the point of this scene? Why didn't, say, Scotty and Sulu pick Spock up and carry him with them? Because this movie is all about Kirk saving Spock, that's why.

So then the head Klingon tells Kirk that he wants the Genesis secret. Kirk tells the head Klingon to beam Spock up first. The Klingon tells Kirk to give him the secret first, and then he'll consider it. Oh my God, this is just delicious! This guy could have used any one of Kirk's actual crew to negotiate, but instead he chooses someone who, as far as he knows, is merely an old acquaintance. It would have made infinitely more sense for him to choose one of Kirk's crew rather than some random Vulcan who's name Kirk doesn't even seem to know. But he totally has instincts about Kirk, and he just knows that this Vulcan is, like, mega important to him. (like more important than anything, as though he were a part of Kirk. Like maybe Kirk, oh I don't know, loves him or something.)

So then Kirk tries to convince the Klingon that they have to get off the planet because it's unstable, but this Klingon is obsessed with knowing the Genesis secret, so he starts attacking Kirk. I swear I've seen something like this before… The hero has overcome numerous obstacles, and now the main villain is all that stands between him and his love, so he has to take the villain on himself in a heated battle. I mean, give Kirk a sword and a shield, and this is Sleeping Beauty (I'm going by the Disney version here)! The head Klingon is Maleficent! Spock is even unconscious! Literally sleeping! What a shame he doesn't need Kirk's kiss to wake him. So Kirk finally defeats the head Klingon and sends him plummeting to his death, and then he makes his way back to Spock. He kneels down, and we get to see that yes, its Leonard Nimoy this time. It's our Spock. It's Kirk's Spock. Kirk picks him up (and hugs him!) and then instructs the Klingons to beam him up (and they obey him for some reason). Then he points his phaser at, I guess he's the second Klingon in command? Apparently the Enterprise crew had subdued the Klingons on the ship (and the head Klingon didn't anticipate this?) So Kirk hands Spock over to Bones, and takes command of the Klingon vessel.

After Sulu, Scotty & Chekov take a minute to figure out how the Klingon ship works, they all take off as the planet continues destroying itself. David gets another one second mention (Kirk says "goodbye David" within the space of one second, I checked, and then he turns his thoughts directly to Vulcan). Then we get a sweet little scene between Spock & Bones, where Bones is all, y'know, how do I get this thing outa me and back into you? Then Bones says, very touchingly, that he actually missed Spock, and that he couldn't stand to lose him again. It's a good thing that Spock is unconscious, because Bones would never live an admission like that down otherwise!

Now we cut to Vulcan, with the Enterprise crew (sadly not on the Enterprise anymore) arriving. Here we finally see Sarek again, who's apparently been on Vulcan twiddling his thumbs this whole time. Uhura's there too. She tells Sarek that they're requesting permission to land. Sarek says "Permission granted. Tell them… tell Kirk, we'll be ready." Y'know, in case we didn't already get that this was all about Kirk saving Spock, Sarek has to very unsubtly remind us. Anyone reading this who hasn't seen the film is gonna think I'm making this shit up! I swear that's how he says it. And he does pause, and he does put the emphasis on Kirk. I didn't add that myself, that's how he says it!

Then Sulu takes the Klingon ship in for a landing. Ok, so maybe Sarek has been a busy boy after all, because there's some kind of ceremony waiting for them. Kirk and the crew and Saavik all carry Spock on a gurney from the ship to the planet (no beaming for them!) and suddenly, some guy strikes the gong from Amok Time (is that, like, an all purpose gong for all Vulcan ceremonies? I was under the impression from Amok Time that it was specifically for the wedding ceremony, but I could have been wrong. What is the logical significance of this gong anyway?) So then Spock is being taken up these steps onto this platform, and Kirk just follows them up there, clearly expecting to be a part of this ritual (and I kinda expected it too, what with all the blatant Kirk-and-Spock-are-everything feel to this movie), but then some, like, Vulcan guard or something has the nerve to put this stick thing in front of Kirk to stop him. Kirk looks surprised, and raises his eyebrows a little like he's kinda insulted (hello, I'm Spock's life-partner, I should be there!)

Anyway, the Vulcan… um, head woman (I don't know what her position is, but her name is T'Lar) says that Spock's body is still alive, then she asks Sarek what his wishes are (oh, so Sarek finally gets a say, huh? Sure you don't wanna ask Kirk?) Sarek asks for Fal-Tor-Pan, the re-fusion (so then what was this other ceremony?) T'Lar says that this hasn't been done for ages, so it's not logical. Sarek tells her that his logic is uncertain where his son is concerned, and apparently that makes it all ok. T'Lar asks who the keeper of the katra is, and we immediately cut to Sarek, with Kirk in the background. Sarek turns around, and for a fraction of a second it looks like he's going to turn to Kirk (clearly the true keeper of the katra, in Sarek's view), then Kirk looks to Bones, and we cut to him and he says that he's the keeper of the katra. Then T'Lar tells Bones that because he's human, he can't understand what he's getting himself into. She warns him that he could die from this ritual (and I'm having such Amok Time flashbacks here. Except that T'Pau didn't warn Kirk that the Kali-fee was deadly until after he'd agreed. I guess it was just a given that Kirk would volunteer to die for Spock, but someone else… they deserve to know beforehand.) After a glance at Kirk, McCoy agrees, because really, he can't exactly say no after Kirk went to all that trouble.

So then T'Lar conducts the Fal-Tor-Pan, and apparently it causes lightening. Then some time passes and the ritual is over. And again, Kirk is singled out. Everyone else stays still while Kirk walks closer. McCoy steps down and tells Kirk that he's alright. Then Kirk asks Sarek about Spock, to which he responds that only time will answer. Kirk looks over at Spock, who's being fitted for a different robe (a white one, representing life, as opposed to his black burial robe. Ooh, significant.) Then Sarek thanks Kirk for saving his son. Kirk merely says that he did what he had to do. Then Sarek reminds Kirk of the cost of saving Spock - his ship, his son. Kirk simply says "If I hadn't tried, the cost would have been my soul." But he's not saying it in a religious, 'if I didn't try to save my friend I might've gone to hell' kind of way. Kirk is not religious. In fact, one of his hobbies seems to be destroying gods. No, he's saying that Spock is his soul, just like Spock's soul is his responsibility as surely as if it were his very own. By this point, I trust that no one is surprised. Of course Spock is Kirk's soul, of course he's more important to Kirk than his ship or his son. Once again, going back to the quote from Metamorphosis, Spock is more important than anything, he is a part of Kirk (his soul, to be specific). This is canon, people! It's practically served to us on a silver platter. You can't escape it, it's right there.

Kirk watches Spock descend the stairs and walk straight past him. But then he stops and slowly turns around. He takes his hood off and looks at Kirk. Poor thing looks mightily confused; he's clearly still not quite himself. It should also be noted that the music has stopped. He goes back the way he came and stops at Saavik (who he, y'know, lost his virginity to in this body). He looks at her, then keeps walking. He passes all the other crewmembers the same way, looking at them and then moving on, all in complete silence. Even Bones, 'the keeper of the katra,' doesn't hold his attention for too long. Then he comes to Kirk, and stays with him. At this point, he says his first line in the entire movie (not counting the scene from Wrath of Khan) "My father says that you have been my friend. You came back for me." (When did he say that exactly? They literally just finished the ritual. Oh fuck it, who cares about plotholes at this point? By the way, Kirk has been his friend, Kirk came back for him. And he doesn't even acknowledge the other crewmembers. Very subtle.) Kirk says that Spock would have done the same for him. This movie may be all about Kirk's epic love for Spock, but let's not forget about Spock's epic love for Kirk! Spock asks why Kirk would do this, and Kirk responds that the needs of the one outweighed the needs of the many (yeah, that's why.) Spock turns around and walks away a little to contemplate this, then he pauses and turns back. "I have been, and ever shall be, your friend." (Y'know, Spock's talking pretty freely here about friendship, considering that he's on Vulcan and Vulcan's aren't supposed to have friends. And that the only Vulcan word that even comes close to translating to the word friend also translates to brother and lover. Just sayin'...) Kirk starts to get excited, because Spock is remembering! Spock remembers a few more things, like their last conversation (which he really shouldn't remember, since he gave his katra to McCoy before that scene. Or is he getting all this from Kirk's own memories? Because, y'know, they're totally in each other's minds, even if it was McCoy who technically wound up keeping Spock's katra.) Then he steps closer to Kirk, and Kirk searches his eyes for any more memories that he might have.

Then Spock says the immortal line "Jim. Your name is Jim" and this is the moment that the music starts up again. Like the silence was the emptiness in Spock's mind, but now it's filled with Jim! Poor guy doesn't know whether he's Arthur or Martha, but he knows that the man standing in front of him is Jim. Can we say more important than anything? Can we say a part of Spock? Hell, the entirety of who Spock is seems to be wrapped up in Kirk at this moment. There may be no kiss involved, but Kirk has been the one to break the proverbial spell and wake Spock up, so to speak (Sleeping Beauty, what did I tell you?) And the look on Kirk's face as he says yes, it's like 'I lost my ship, I lost my son, and my career is in shreds, but it was all worth it to hear you say my name.' Is this romantic or what? Now, finally, Spock looks at his other friends, who all gather around him. But his eyes are still drawn to Jim, who looks like nothing less than a man in love.

And they lived happily ever after. No, I'm not kidding, that's where the movie ends. It'll continue in the next one, of course. But for the purposes of this movie, once the lovers are reunited at long last, what more is there to say? I swear to God, this is all true! Watch the movie, it's all there! I'm not making any of it up! It's so freaking romantic, and it's all 100% completely canon!