A/N – So I feel like I produced this next night pretty quickly. Time has passed, but it is explained in the story. You may be able to tell from the title, but this story will contain more angst than any previous night in this series. I really hate writing angst given the separation of Johnny and Lulu on the show right now, but I also know that they will get through the angst I'm giving them just like they will on the show! I have once again talked entirely too much...on to the story! Hope you enjoy and I would love a review!

Chapter 1 – Missing You

Lulu was restless. Seeing Johnny in secret was harder than she thought it would be. For a month she and Johnny had met at obscure places that Johnny would scope out. A few times they had met at the cabin and on the last visit he had given her a key. It was the closest thing they had to normalcy. A boyfriend giving his girlfriend a key to his place. Lulu looked at the clock and noticed it was almost four.

At four o'clock Lucky left for work and Lulu called Johnny. They talked for about thirty minutes every day about anything and everything. Most of the time Lulu would end up in tears from laughing so hard. She had never known someone like him. He had been through more in his life than anyone should but he wasn't bitter. Johnny's mother had sacrificed her life for him and he tried to make the most of the life she died for.

"I'm off to work, Lulu," Lucky said, bringing Lulu out of her thoughts.

"Okay," Lulu smiled. "Be safe."

"I will," Lucky replied. "Do you have any plans tonight?"

"Not at the moment," Lulu answered.

It was true. She hadn't talked to Johnny yet and she didn't know if they were going to get to see each other or not. Lucky looked at her suspiciously, but grabbed his keys anyway.

"Call me if you need anything," Lucky advised as he walked out of the house.

Lulu breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, she was alone. She hurried upstairs to get her phone and quickly dialed Johnny's number. This was the best part of her day. Wondering how he would answer the phone. What he would say during the conversation. She listened to the phone ring and on the third ring someone answered.

"I'm sorry you'll have to speak quickly," he answered. "A beautiful woman calls me at this time."

"You running around on me, Zacchara?" Lulu asked, her smile reaching her voice.

"If I was?" Johnny wondered.

"You don't want to know," Lulu warned. "All of the mob bosses in this town have nothing on a Spencer woman scorned."

"Well then I guess it's a good thing you're the only one in my life," Johnny laughed.

"So you think I'm beautiful?" Lulu prodded.

"Breathtakingly beautiful," Johnny replied.

"I'm a sucker for flattery," Lulu responded. "And you're an expert at sweet talk."

"That's why we go so well together," Johnny said and Lulu could hear him grinning.

"That's not the only the only reason," Lulu giggled.

"Are you talking dirty, Spencer?" Johnny questioned.

"Maybe," Lulu teased. "Does that bother you?"

"Not at all," Johnny answered. "Just don't start something you can't finish."

"I was wondering if maybe we could finish it," Lulu said softly. "We haven't seen each other in almost a week."

"I know but your safety has to come first," Johnny argued. "Can you get away cleanly?"

"Of course," Lulu replied. "You're the one who is under lock and key all the time."

"Right," Johnny agreed. "It's all my fault we can't see each other. I know that, you don't have to remind me."

"You don't have to get defensive with me," Lulu responded. "I'm not blaming you."

"Really?" Johnny asked. "A part of you doesn't blame me just a little? After all it is my father and my last name that is keeping us apart."

"It's not like you chose your parents," Lulu pointed out. "You didn't ask to be born the son of a mob boss and have everyone judge you by him. Why are you even asking me these questions?"

"Look, maybe I should just call you later," Johnny offered. "This isn't exactly the conversation I was looking forward to."

"Me neither," Lulu said softly. "But I want to know why you suddenly think that we're not in this together."

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Jason was staring at the files in front of him. The mob business he was so used to dealing with was not holding his attention. He had many other things going on in his life and the last thing he cared about was which shipment was landing at which pier. He looked up as Carly burst into his penthouse and he sighed because the look on her face told him she had an idea. No matter what it was, it wasn't good.

"Jason, have you seen Lulu?" Carly asked.

"Not for a couple of weeks," Jason answered. "I ran into her at Kelly's and she seemed fine. What's wrong?"

"I think she's still seeing Johnny," Carly replied. "If she wasn't she wouldn't be fine and she would be more moody with everyone."

"How is this my problem?" Jason wondered.

"We have to stop her," Carly said, rolling her eyes. "She's putting herself in danger and you of all people should know exactly how much."

"I also know Lulu," Jason responded. "She's like you. She doesn't listen to anything anyone tells her."

"Then we should be subtle," Carly insisted. "Look, I know that she's sneaking around behind everyone's back and meeting him. So what we need to do is come up with a really good reason for her to be meeting me every night so she can't see him."

"I'm not going to manipulate Lulu," Jason said, getting off the couch.

"You're not going to do everything you can to keep her safe?" Carly questioned.

"Now you're trying to manipulate me," Jason replied. "Obviously, you're good at manipulation. You don't need my help."

"Yes I do," Carly begged. "If I come up with an excuse to occupy Lulu's time she will ask you if I really need her or if I'm making something up."

"So you need me to lie?" Jason asked.

"I need you to back me up," Carly stated.

"I'm going to regret this," Jason started. "But what's your plan?"

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Johnny really didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to explain the doubts running through his mind. It wasn't like Lulu had done something to make him doubt her. It was more like for over a month things had been great and it just seemed like time for something to go wrong. He was scared of her pulling away so he was pushing instead.

"I'm sorry," Johnny said softly. "I never want to fight with you and I'm picking one right now."

"Answer the question," Lulu pleaded. "Do you think that I'm going to walk away from you?"

"Yes," Johnny replied honestly. "Not because of anything you've done or said. Because that's how my life works. Everyone leaves me eventually and I'm having a hard time believing you will be any different."

There. He had been honest. The most likely result was that Lulu would be so upset about his lack of faith in her that she would run far away from him. He should have lied. He should have just kept his mouth shut in the first place. Why did he always screw things up?

"Okay," Lulu said quietly. "Then I'll have to fix that."

"What?" Johnny asked. She wasn't leaving? Too good to be true.

"I will have to be the person who stays," Lulu explained. "The break in the pattern."

"You don't hate me for doubting you?" Johnny wondered.

"No," Lulu answered. "I understand what it's like to expect the worse to happen. My life hasn't been all roses, but it's not even close to what you've been through, so it makes sense that you would guard yourself. As far as doubting me, I will probably doubt you one day too. It's part of a relationship."

"You are amazing," Johnny commented. "I was afraid to tell you."

"Don't ever be afraid to be honest with me," Lulu said firmly. "With as many people as we're lying to and keeping secrets from, we can't do that with each other. I can take anything as long as you're honest with me."

"Okay," Johnny agreed. "In that case there is something else I have to tell you."

"What?" Lulu wondered.

"I miss you like crazy," Johnny grinned. "I can't go another night without seeing you."

"Good," Lulu laughed. "I miss you too. Where should we meet?"

"Well the way you were talking earlier," Johnny started. "A bed will be needed."

"Not at all," Lulu said seductively. "A couch or a chair or a sturdy wall is all we need."

"How soon can you get to the cabin?" Johnny asked. "It has all of the above."

"It takes almost an hour to get there," Lulu figured. "And I will want to get some dinner for us first. Plus I have to get pretty for you."

"Skip the last part," Johnny interjected. "You look pretty right now."

"You can't see me," Lulu giggled. "You don't know how I look. I could have no makeup on and be wearing sweats and a baggy T-shirt that has paint on it."

"You're right," Johnny relented. "You look beautiful right now."

"Stop," Lulu blushed and Johnny laughed. "How about 6:30?"

"I'll be there, gorgeous," Johnny promised and he knew she rolled her eyes. "See you soon."

"Bye," Lulu breathed.

"Bye," Johnny replied.

He hung up the phone and felt the goofy grin spread across his face. It didn't take as long to get to the cabin for him, but he wanted to be there waiting for her. He sat his phone on his nightstand and started getting ready. He couldn't wait to see Lulu and take her in his arms and make his life make sense again.