Written for the ass_carnival's week five prompts: Person: Luna Lovegood; Place: The wilderness; Object one: Compass; Object two: Rope; Food: Hotdogs; Emotion: Courage; Song one: Wild Thing by The Troggs; Song two: Setting Forth by Eddie Vedder; Quote: "Happiness only real when shared." - Christopher McCandless; Freeform: A great adventure

Warning: Frotting. (yum)

Disclaimer: Not mine. Sigh.

The Search for the Blithering Humdingers

'Hotdogs?'

'What the fuck did you expect out here in the wilderness, Malfoy? Caviar on toast point?'

'I expected that if your crazy bloody godmother was going to drag her top Care of Magical Creatures students out on a hunt for a non-existent blathering...something or others, that she would at least be feeding us something other than animal entrails.'

'Prat.'

'Wanker.'

'Boys, happiness is only real when it's shared,' Professor Luna Lovegood sang, staring dreamily at the squabbling Albus and Scorpius.

The two seventeen year olds gazed quizzically at her, hoping for further elucidation of her baffling statement but she just hummed an off-key tune to herself as she wound the rope they'd used to abseil down a rock face earlier that day – Luna insisting that the stuttering thingamijigs they were searching for would be scared off by the pop of Apparition.

She had brought Al and Scorpius to this mountainous landscape in a search for a creature Scorpius was sure existed only in her imagination and all he and Albus had done so far was argue. Scorpius didn't mean to be so contrary, but every time he opened his mouth, he seemed to put his foot in it. And now, after nearly fourteen hours of walking and climbing and battling their way through brush and undergrowth, Scorpius was genuinely annoyed and couldn't halt his caustic comments, despite knowing that he was just making things more impossible between he and Albus...the boy he'd been crushing on for as long as he could remember.

It's not like I had a chance with him anyway. He hates me.

'How the bloody hell did she get Headmaster Pike to agree to this?' Scorpius muttered, glaring at Albus as if this trip had been his idea. 'And why on earth did my father sign the permission form?'

'Stop whining, Malfoy,' Albus snapped, shoving a hotdog at the blonde. 'Can't you just think of this as an adventure or something? Man up.'

'Man up?' Scorpius sneered, ignoring the offered food. 'You've been spending too much time watching Muggle television. What's next? Going to start singing some hideous Muggle tune around the campfire for us?'

Albus smirked and pushed himself to his feet. 'Out here, realigned, a planet out of sight,' he sang, strumming an air guitar. 'Nature drunk and high... Ahhooh!'

He turned his face to the star filled sky and howled out the last note as Scorpius pulled out his wand and cast a sneaky Silencing Spell. Albus' mouth opened to continue the song then he scowled when he realised what Scorpius had done. Scorpius smirked. He didn't need to know sign language to figure out exactly what Albus was saying to him now.

'Wish I was drunk or high right now,' he muttered, sneaking a glance at Luna, who appeared to be asleep, before he flicked his wand at Albus, releasing the spell.

'...smash your face in if you weren't so cute...' Albus yelled then his green eyes widened and his mouth snapped shut as a flush coloured his cheeks.

Scorpius stared up at Albus, his own mouth now hanging open in shock. Had Albus really said...? He swallowed, trying to lubricate his suddenly dry throat, but before he could say a word, Albus made a distressed noise in his throat and spun around, disappearing into the darkness.

'Albus!' Scorpius called, standing hastily.

Although he didn't believe for a second that any of the humdinging, snarkling, snorting creatures Professor Lovegood was searching for existed, there were plenty of other very real dangers in the wilderness. He bit his lip, hesitating for a moment before he gathered his courage, scooped up his torch and set off after Al.

'Don't forget your compass,' Professor Lovegood advised, watching Scorpius with a peaceful expression. 'It'll lead you straight to him.'

Scorpius paused, staring in disbelief at the odd woman then, with a noise of frustration, he grabbed the brass compass and shoved it into his pocket before throwing himself into the shadows.

~*~

Scorpius swore loudly as a branch slapped him across his face. He'd been searching without any luck for half an hour now and was just about ready to give up. Only Al's words kept him going, resonating in his head...

"...smash your face in if you weren't so cute..."

Al thought he was cute. Scorpius couldn't stop the sappy smile from spreading across his face. He had been casting admiring glances at Al for a long time now, but had never dreamed that the brunette might feel similarly.

I have to find him.

His foot caught in a tree root and he fell flat on his face, the compass flying out of his pocket. 'Fucking hell,' he muttered, struggling to his feet and making a futile attempt to brush himself off.

He shone his torch along the leaf-strewn ground, the light glinting as it hit the compass. It had popped open upon impact with the ground and Scorpius picked it up.

'Broken,' he muttered, noting that the needle was pointing east instead of north. He gave it a shake but the pointer resolutely stayed where it was. Suddenly, Luna's words came back to him... "Don't forget your compass. It'll lead you straight to him."

'She's insane,' he told himself, unwilling to believe he was thinking about taking her seriously. 'She is certifiable...'

But he didn't have too many other ideas so, with a heavy sigh, he headed off in the direction the needle was pointing.

Barely a minute had passed before Al fell into his lap.

Literally.

'Oomph!' Scorpius grunted, the air rushing from his lungs as Albus stumbled into him, sending them both crashing to the ground, Albus landing on top of him.

'Scorpius?' Al asked. 'What are you doing out here?'

'Looking for you, you utter git,' Scorpius growled, grasping Albus' biceps hard when the other boy tried to move away. 'I need to know what you meant before...'

There was a moment of silence and Scorpius peered through the darkness, trying to make out the expression on Albus' face. He heard a loud exhale then Al spoke softly.

'Ithinkyou'recuteandIreallylikeyou,' he mumbled and Scorpius frowned.

'What?' he asked, letting go of Albus' arm and reaching out for what he hoped was the other boy's face. His fingers closed around smooth, warm skin and he let them travel, skimming along Al's jaw and nose, then his thumb stroked over full, curved lips.

'Gods, Scorpius,' Al whispered, his lips moving under Scorpius' thumb, his breath heating the other boy's skin.

Scorpius moaned, dipping the tip of his thumb shallowly in Al's mouth. With a whimper, Al's lips closed around the digit, his tongue flicking over it then Scorpius saw bursts of colour behind his now closed eyelids as Al sucked gently.

'Al...please,' he begged. Al let out a guttural groan and suddenly, Scorpius could feel warm breath caressing his face then soft lips touched his own.

It was sweet and slow and Scorpius ached with longing as they explored every crevice of each other's mouth, revelling in the new tastes and textures. Then the kiss deepened and Scorpius pressed himself against Al, wanting...needing...to be so much closer. Al pushed back, gripping Scorpius' hips hard as he shifted then both boys gasped as hard erections dragged together.

'Al,' Scorpius moaned and the other boy moved again, this time Scorpius' name falling from his lips in a keening cry.

Neither boy had done this before, but their bodies knew instinctively how to move, how to touch, to bring the other the most pleasure and soon, the spiralling tension that had been building inside them snapped. Al fell first, shuddering in Scorpius' arms as his body jerked. Scorpius felt heat spreading across his lap and his fingers bit bruisingly into Al's arse, thrusting as he pulled Al's hips down and his own release was upon him. Biting his lip, he arched up, craving contact as he fell headfirst into the swirling depths of his climax.

As they lay panting together, their tangled limbs began to cool and Al shifted, reaching for Scorpius' torch. He switched it back on and angled it so muted light fell over their faces. Scorpius stared up at the other boy's pink cheeks and swollen lips, praying he wouldn't see regret in those eyes. He brushed Albus' hair away from his face and felt a shot of happiness when all he saw in those green orbs was the same contentment and joy he knew would be reflected in his own.

'That was...' Al began.

'...fucking amazing,' Scorpius finished and Al grinned.

'Are we really doing this?' he asked, eyes searching Scorpius' face uncertainly.

Scorpius pretended to consider the question. 'Hmm,' he said teasingly. 'Only if you promise never to sing again.'

Al laughed and his head fell back down to Scorpius' shoulder. He buried his face in the crook of his neck and Scorpius felt vibrations as Al sang softly, 'Wild thing, I think you move me. But I wanna know for sure...'

Scorpius chuckled and silenced him with another kiss.

fin.