May 1st 1998

"I think I'll never get tired to look at him."

"I know I'll never get tired to look at you both."

Tonks chuckled softly and looked at Remus, leaning at her side against Teddy's crib. Their little one had finally falling asleep, his little hands in fists.

"It seems impossible something this small could make such a racket," Tonks said softly.

Not it was Remus' turn to laugh.

"You'd say he would not have the energy…"

"That's my point; there is no room for that amount of noise."

He hugged her from behind and she rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes and sighing.

"D'you think we'll be able to get some sleep now?" she asked softly.

"We could try…" his voice was dubious.

Tonks turned around and hugged him again.

"Have I ever told you that I love you?"

As a response, Remus gave her a kiss on the tip of her nose.

"I love you too," he whispered.

Everything seemed so easy now, even though she felt tired and sometimes even overwhelmed. But still, she had them both, Remus and Teddy, and that was perfection.

"Let's hide."

Remus voice rumbled in his chest and for a moment she thought she had not understand him.

"Hmm?"

He put a finger under her chin and made her look at him.

"Let's go into hiding," he said. "You, me, Teddy."

Tonks narrowed her eyes trying to read into his gaze.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean to go somewhere else. To be safe. To stop risking our necks just because we're here, and to go and protect ourselves."

Remus' gaze was intense and there was a little crest of worry on his forehead.

Tonks thought about it for a moment. Hiding? Somehow the word seemed as strange as something said in a language she did not know.

"You mean it?" she asked.

Remus let her go and sat on their bed.

"I used to think you were the most important thing in my life," he said with a soft hoarse voice. "Now I know you are the only thing that matters in my life. You and Teddy. And right now, I just want you to be safe. I want us all to be."

There was an emotion in his voice she had never heard before, and the intensity in his eyes seeming to burn into his.

"But what about the war?" she asked feebly.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"We're not getting anywhere near the end of it," he said with a weary voice. "We're stuck and… don't you get the feeling there is nothing we can do? Except maybe put a couple of protecting charms on Muggle dwelling and even those fail?"

Tonks bowed her head. He was right. After the fiasco of her last mission nothing else had happened from their side. Kingsley was still at the Ministry but it was not plain for everybody there was nothing he could do. The Weasleys were hiding, and so was every other member of the Order of the Phoenix.

Was it even an order of the Phoenix anymore?

The only real thing that still remained was Potterwatch and even that had gotten repetitive and more depressing every time.

"We thought..." he continued, "Dumbledore thought Harry was the one who was going to finish You-Know-Who…"

Tonks sat beside him and put a hand on his leg.

"I trust Dumbledore," he explained. "Maybe he was convinced of what he was saying but I cannot see how is he going to do it! When I saw him at Bill's… he's just a kid! He has grown so much and still, when I told him we wanted him to be Teddy's godfather, for an instant there he looked so young and helpless. I couldn't imagine him taking care of a baby boy. How is he supposed to take care of the Magic World then?"

She did not know what to say. It was a flow of new ideas and yet, they all made sense, almost as if she had been thinking along these lines all this time, but never had dared to speak aloud.

"You know?" Remus took her hand. "For the first time ever I really, really, want to enjoy life. To enjoy my life. I want us all safe, and make this family grow, and enjoying the fact that we're still alive."

She hugged him, her eyes full of tears. And he hugged her back, kissing the top of her head.

For a long moment none of them said a thing.

"We forced James and Lily to go into hiding," he finally spoke. "Back then at the first war. They didn't want to and Sirius practically threatened them. Finally Lily said they owed to themselves the right to enjoy life, and they owed that right to their little boy. To Harry. You could say they did it because of him."

Tonks whipped away the tears and looked at Remus again.

"But…" finally she spoke, "but about the rest?"

Remus chuckled.

"I knew you we're going to be the noble, sensitive one."

"I'm not," she prompted. "Not at all, but still…"

"I know we're supposed to fight. That's the way we're built, that's the way we've been raised. But don't you ever think it's unfair? Why are we fighting for? For how long? What if we all die in the process?"

"Don't say that, Remus, please."

He sighed.

"I want us all to be safe-"

"I know, you're right," she whispered. "You're right."

He hugged her again.

"Listen, Dora, we don't have to decide it just yet. But we have the resources; we can go abroad, leave the country. It doesn't have to be know. Just… let's think about it a little bit. And we'll wait until Teddy and you are strong enough and ready for the trip."

Leaving the fight before it ended. Leaving everybody behind. Just going away to save themselves. It was all wrong, all against every single thing she believed in. And yet, when she looked at the crib and saw little Teddy sleeping peacefully, something seemed to rebel inside her.

It was unfair. What if they could make it fair, at least for themselves?

May 2nd 1998

She did not have the guts to tell her mother about Remus' idea. It was not yet a plan, they had not talked about it any longer. But the idea was creeping over her, taking all her conscious thoughts and filling her mind with strange dreams while she was asleep.

Andromeda was walking with Teddy in her arms, humming softly. Tonks was looking at both of them, trying to ignore the deep sadness that was to be found in her mother's expression, even when she was looking proudly at her grandson.

They could take her away with them of course. But somehow she was certain she would not go.

"Why don't you get some sleep?" she suddenly asked, taking Tonks out of her reverie.

"I'm not tired," she started.

"You're such a bad liar Nymphadora Tonks."

She chuckled.

"Shh, do not say the N-word in front of him," Tonks said.

"Codswallop!"

"Why don't you-?"

A roar came from the fireplace and the flames turned emerald green. With a quick move Tonks drew her wand and placed herself between the chimney and her mother and son.

A second later, Remus was spinning into the room.

"It's happening!"

He was looking beside himself, both with worry and excitement.

Teddy woke up and gave a small cry of protest.

"What's happening?" Tonks asked, ignoring her son for the first time.

"We're fighting!"

"What?" both she and Andromeda asked.

Remus took Tonks hands, his eyes were bright and he seemed ready to jump over everything.

"This is it! I was mistaken. It's not over! This is it!"

"Who's fighting?" Tonks asked.

"Everybody! Kingsley and I were at Muriel's, about to start Potterwatch. And the twins, they have a mean to communicate with some people inside Hogwarts."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"People are gathering inside the school. I don't know how, or why, but Harry and the others seemed to be there. And they're going to fight."

"How are they-?"

"There is no time for that, Dora," he said. "I'll… I'll explain when I get back."

It was as if somebody had hit her in the head with a frying pan. Suddenly it all sunk in.

"Let's go!" she said, giving a step forward.

"No," Remus said. "You're not going anywhere. Not this time, Dora."

"What? You said it yourself! This is it! We could end all this, right? We must go!"

"No, Dora. I'll go. You stay." He addressed his mother-in-law. "Please, Andromeda, could you?"

"Of course," she said, with an unreadable expression.

"Are you two mental? What am I trained for?"

"You are a Mum now," Andromeda snapped. "You have to stay with your son. And protect him if you have to!"

She looked hopelessly at her, and at the small baby crying in her arms. And then she looked at Remus.

"I'll be back," he said softly. "We owe us that."

Her throat was dry.

"You better get back, Remus Lupin."

He approached her and kissed her. It was way to brief an instant and he was taking more powder from the pot on the mantelpiece.

"I love you," he said before getting into the roaring flames. "The Hog's Head!"

She could not know if he had heard her answer.

All Tonks could do was pace the room up and down, wishing Remus had had the time to tell her how the twins could communicate with people inside the school. Wishing time would go faster. Wishing she could be there as well.

Teddy was asleep again and Andromeda had placed him on the couch. For a long moment nobody had said anything.

She could imagine what the frail would be like. If they were gathering, it was just logical to suppose the Death Eaters were gathering as well. And maybe He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named would be there. People were going to die, there was no point trying to convince her it would be otherwise. She had seen too much to know how these things went.

And there she was. Sitting there and doing nothing. Nothing but waiting, with the feeling she was going insane.

Suddenly certainty came, as hard as a wave.

Tonks stood up and Andromeda did the same, almost at the very instant.

"I'm going," she said, surprised at how calm her voice sounded.

Her mother did not say a thing.

Taking one last look at her sleeping son, Tonks grabbed her wand, and a handful of floo powder. She knew that if she looked at him any longer it would be much difficult to do what she had to do.

Almost as if she had rehearsed it long ago, she threw it into the flames and contemplated for an instant the green emerald light emanating from them.

She had made up her mind long time ago.

- The End -

ooo

AN: Sequel/Epilogue is up: "May 2nd 1998"