Summary: Xena was once a hero, but she was cursed to be reincarnated over and over. It is 2009 and her name is Xe and she is being trained by Ares to control all the skills Xena once possessed. She is also trying to come to terms with who she used to be and what she feels for Ares.

Rating: M

Pairing: Xena/Ares

The modern world is built on the bones of the modern worlds that had come before. Xena knew this to be true, she had seen every century in her long cursed life. She had been condemned to be born into the world with her memories of what she had done and who she had been. In this new century her name was Xe and she lived on Olympus with Ares. He had found her like he said her would all those years ago. Ares had saved her from the life she lived.

Xe had been living on the streets, stealing from others just to survive. When no one came around she would camp out in the forest where others would not go. She wasn't afraid because she knew that whatever threat was out there didn't compare to what she could do. Her talent as a killer plagued her dreams and robbed her of all sanity. It made her a bitter young woman, so much so that she longed for the solitude of the woods or any secluded place she could get to. That was until they had come and taken her somewhere. She had been locked in a white room that had one small window, too small to escape through. The door even had bars on the outside. She had heard them slide into place when they threw her in here. All Xe wanted was to be left alone, but people had to come and find her and lock her up saying she was crazy. Xe wasn't crazy, she was cursed there was a difference.

Those first few days Xe would attack anyone who came in to try and inject her with drugs. Men that were twice her size fled when she had fought them. These modern men were no different. She had more cunning and deadly combat training. All these skills were locked inside the body of a 21 year old that had never even seen a battle. But that didn't mean she didn't remember the feel of battle and the feel of blood being spilt by a sword; by her sword. Xe could remember the feeling of riding her horse into battle. She was made to end lives but she couldn't even get out of this tiny white box that she had been locked up in. Her current future was looking bleak.

More days past and she thought that she would never get out. Xe wanted to be back out into the world just so she could be alone and not near anyone. It was what she wanted. Xe's heart belonged to the forest and the countless dangers that resided within the wooded depths. The part of the forest n which she had been captured had once belonged to the Horde. She could still see where intruder's bodies would have been put on pikes to warn others away. Xe also knew that there was a system of tunnels that led to a huge central camber where the Horde had slept at night. She had been on her way to one of the runnel entrances when she had been caught. There was nothing but time to go over what she had done wrong that had led to her capture, but as she thought it out, replayed every step, Xe knew that it couldn't have been her fault. Someone must have tracked her to her hide away.

It wasn't until her second week in captivity that she had remembered Ares. Xe knew that if she called him he would come to her. But it was debatable whether he would help her or not. Images of them together flooded her mind. They were together in the woods, or on a battle field. He always followed her, always wanted her to be his. In this new century she would be. "Ares." His name fell from her lips in a reverent whisper like she was in a church. When nothing happened Xe felt abandoned. The one person she knew who would always be there whether she wanted him to or not didn't come to her. In that moment Xe felt utterly alone. She curled up on the floor and for the first time started to cry for her hopeless situation. More than that, she had no way to escape. Xe was trapped and alone. Whether it was her crying or her sense of despair that reached out to the heavens, Ares came for her that night and took him some where she would be safe. He took her home where she belonged. And she belonged with him on Olympus.

Ares had come to her in the night like he used to. Looking down at the huddled mass that used to be his proud warrior made him want revenge on whoever had caused her to become like this. Xena was a warrior and a killer. She belonged out on the field of battle with a bloody sword in one hand and his banner in her other. But those times were long gone. This new "Xena" was nothing like the first one, his first love. Ares crouched down and looked at her. She was of the same complexion, the same hair, the same body. But one thing was different; Xena never would have called for him to save her. She would have found a way out of trouble by herself. This new version had learned something after all. Ares gently scooped her up into his arms and took them back to Olympus where he placed the sleeping Xena in his bed.

MOUNT OLYMPUS:

Ares lounged on his throne made of skulls and thought of his warrior princess; Xena. He thought about how she used to be, how proud she was. This new version, Xe was hard headed, stubborn, withdrawn, and haunted. There were things locked in her mind that Ares knew had to scare and confuse her. She was probably thinking, 'How can I remembering doing all those things when I wasn't even alive?' He knew her better than she thought. Slowly Ares was trying to train her to control her skills. He had been surprised at her summons. It had woken him from a sound sleep in the dead of night. Ares had looked around his chambers and thought that it was only his dreams that had caused him to hear her voice. But when he had heard the sobbing he knew that it was her.

Now she was home where she belonged. Xe, as she was being called now, was surrounded by people she used to know. For three days she refused to come out of his bedroom. On the fourth day Aphrodite managed to coax her out and into the sun light. But all that came crashing down when she had backed away from them all and cowered on the floor.

Hercules stood with his half brother, Ares. Both men had loved this woman and both men were at a loss as what to do with her. Before Hercules could move in to comfort Xe, Ares went to her and wrapped his strong arms around her gently. She huddled into the safety of his arms and continued to shake. "It's alright. Everything will be fine." Ares whispered over and over again. He truly wanted her to believe him. Her shaking subsided and she pulled back to look at him.

"You're not lying?" She asked, tears still staining her cheeks.

"Why would I lie?" He countered.

"Because you're Ares and you always lie." Xe responded.

"But not to you." Ares whispered close to her ear and pulled her back into the shelter of his body. He took that moment to take her back to his temple and put her to bed. Ares would have loved to stay with her, but she needed to get used to things first before he could be with her in the way he wanted.

"Ares?"

"Hmm?" Ares turned to her and felt his heart break slightly. She held out her hand towards him. He took it and allowed her to pull him into the bed with her. All she did was curl into his side and fall back to sleep. Ares stayed with her until he was sure she in a deep sleep. Only then did he get up to do things that Gods do when they don't want to sleep.

TWO MONTHS LATER:

"No, no, no. You're doing it wrong." Ares groaned. He and Xe had been training all day and she still couldn't get the moves right. She had been fighting against shadow warriors all day, but still she had not vanquished any. All Ares had given her was the staff to defend herself with. She knew how to use it but her current body was clumsy and didn't move right. Xe kept expecting her body to react like it used to, but nothing happened.

So here she lay on her back in the dirt with Ares towering over her, shouting at her all the things she did wrong. Xe pushed herself up and threw the staff to the ground. Then she turned on her heal and headed back towards the temple so she could get out of the blazing sun. This had been a waist of time. Her mind remembered everything she needed to do to defend herself, but her body wouldn't follow. Ares made the training equipment disappear and then followed after her. They had had two months of training but she was fighting him as he tried to instruct her as he once had. Xe still had her stubborn streak, just like Xena. Of course she had violently reminded him that she was not Xena. Ares remembered that, but still he couldn't help but see her reflected in Xe's ice blue eyes. The one thing Ares could not complain about was that he had her with him finally. But he had noticed the differences between his Xena and the new version. His Xena has a fierce determination in her eyes. Xe had nothing but a haunted scared look residing in her eyes. She would barely look at herself in the mirror. More than anything Xe hated to be reminded who her lineage is descended from.

"Xe, wait a minute." Ares called after her. He rushed after her and, not for the first time, wondered why he bothered at all. The answer was simple: He loved Xena, and he wanted Xe to be like her. That wasn't going to happen no matter how hard he trained her.

"I'm not getting it. This is pointless." She shouted and increased her pace towards his temple.

"You just have to trust your body and let it take over your defense." Ares appeared in front of her to make her stop running from him. "All you have to do is let your instincts take over. You were doing fine today. You just needed to let go a little more." Ares said. In the two months that he had been training her, her moves were no longer wild. She still tried to throw all her rage and pain into her moves but she ended up hurting herself. Ares stepped away from her and took in her appearance. Her 20th pair of low rise blue jeans were ripped in the knees and the thighs and muddy and the black tank top she wore hadn't faired much better. Xe's raven hair was pulled back into a loose braid, and even that had mud in it. She was a mess, but that never mattered to her.

Ares ran his hand through his shoulder length hair and sighed. They had been making progress today and then some switch got flipped in Xe and she just let the Shadow Warriors beat on her for a few good minutes. That was when he knew something wasn't right with her. Even if someone wasn't a trained fighter, they would never just lie down and let someone beat on them. Looking at her Ares willed them to the bath house where he had a hot bath waiting for her.

"Why don't you get cleaned up and we'll try something else." Ares whispered. he was about to turn when Xe reached out to him and took his hand. Something sparked in her eyes and he knew she was remembering something from her past. The bath house was the same as the one Xena had been in when she had come back from the dead after being crucified. She had had no desire to fight and was acting the way Xe had hated today with those Shadow Warriors.

Xe took off her clothes and immersed herself in the hot water. She had been beaten pretty bad today and it wasn't entirely her fault. Xe had been doing everything Ares had told her to do and when she had been about ready to deliver the killing blow something had stopped her cold in her tracks. It was like a cool breeze in her mind telling her to stop fighting. The voice had sounded like her own but not hers. That voice had to belong to Xena. She knew that a part of her still resided with in her somewhere. She knew that Ares had come up behind her. He was reenacting something that he had done with Xena. For now that was ok with her because Xe was in a nice hot bath and nothing could disrupt that. When he had put his hands on her shoulders Xe jumped slightly but then relaxed into his touch. Ares knew how to touch her to make her relax, he knew how to make her heart rate speed up, and he knew how to make her want him because Xena had wanted him with her body and with her heart. Xe leaned her head back and rested the back of her head on the ledge of the large garden tub. She had wanted to close hers and fight against the contentment she felt with Ares taking away all the kinks in her body, but something was slowly stripping her will to fight him away. The warm water and the massage from Ares was making Xe relaxed and content. So content that she had almost missed the name that flashed across her mind. Gabrielle.

"Who's Gabrielle?" Xe asked sitting up stopping Ares ministrations. He lowered his hands and sat on the ledge.

"She was the only person on this Earth who knew you inside and out. Gabrielle was you best friend, your sister, and your soul." Ares spoke with a mixture of pain and aw in his voice.

"You mean Xena. She knew Xena?"

"Yes,"

"I thought you knew the most about Xena?" Xe asked. This was the first time that she had ever wanted to talk about Xena.

"I created the monster, the Warlord, the Warrior that resides in you. Gabrielle gave that warrior a soul and made her a hero to others after all the evil that Xena had done at my bidding." Ares turned around and looked Xe right in the eyes. Reaching out his hand he tugged free the hair tie causing her hair to spill out of the braid. Ares had never understood why Xe had wanted to add different color's to her hair, but had done it for her anyway. He rubbed a lock of her hair that carried purple coloring between his thumb and index finger. She had blue, teal, and red running through her hair in addition to the purple.

"Are you turning me back into the monster Xena used to be?" Xe asked suddenly, but Ares didn't let go of the lock of hair he held.

"No, I couldn't do that to you. You've been through too much already."

"Did War grow a conscience?" Xe goaded.

"No, but he did learn from his mistake." Ares smiled. It was a smile that Xena had rarely seen but Xe saw it often. She lifted her right hand in used her index finger to trace his lips, lips that she knew would melt against hers.

Xe knew that Ares wanted her. It was all over his face and written in his eyes. She was his last link to the woman he desperately loved with all black little heart. Ares pulled away from her and said, "You should finish your bath." Then he was gone. Xe's shoulders slumped and she sank down under the water. She wasn't Xena and she was never going to be Xena. What did Xe expect? She was nothing more than a cheap copy of the woman he loved and trained. Ares had trained Xena with the hopes that she would one day she would take the mantle of his Heir, but that had never happened. Xena was dead and now the only link Ares had to her was through Xe; the cheap imitation.

ARES TEMPLE:

Ares left Xe to finish her bath alone. She had been making progress in her combat training but still the specter of Xena lurked over both of them. She would never be dead for him and Xe was haunted by her memories. The life they had was beginning to get hard for them. Xe didn't value herself the way Xena had. The girl had so much potential but it was being bottled up inside and beaten down by fear and a deep sense of revulsion. He could see it in her eyes even though she tried to hide it. There was something in him that wanted to take her and make all her hurt and pain go away but when he resolved himself to the task, one look from her would stop him dead in his tracks. For a split instant he would imagine that Xena was staring back at him and any minute she would tell him that her death had been a horrible nightmare and that it wasn't true. But even as he envisioned the words, Ares knew they would never come. His Xena was dead and the last link he had to her was through Xe, as stubborn as she may be sometimes.

Instead of instantly appearing in his temple Ares decided to walk. Xe would have finished her bath by now, and more than likely she would be sleeping in his bed. He had meant to prepare a room for her after she had time to get used to her surroundings but he never did that either. Xe had told him one night that the dreams ad nightmares were easier to deal with when he was close to her, when he was holding her. Ares would pretend only for an instant that he was holding his Xena and that she had come to him, but only for a moment.

When Ares slipped into the darkened room where his bed was he saw Xe sprawled on the left side, her back to him. She had on her ratty, torn jeans and her black tank top. He took a few seconds to drink in the sight of her. Her pale skin heightened by the blood red coloring of his sheets. Xe never slept under covers and neither had Xena. They restricted movement. Only in winter time would you see Xena sleeping under anything. He moved over on to the bed quietly, Ares didn't notice that Xe's right hand was slightly under her pillow, and just as he was about to put his hand gently on her shoulder Xe bolted up and pinned the War God on his back, burying the dagger in his chest all the way to the hilt. Xe bounded off the bed and turned her back on Ares and what she had done to him.

She was shaking when Ares locked one arm around her waist and with his right hand held the dagger to Xe's throat, "This is what we live by. You reacted the way you should have." Ares soothed, kissing Xe's temple. He backed away and dropped the dagger to the floor.

"Ares, wait. I don't want you to go." Xe reached out her hand but dropped it when he turned to face her. Ares could see the tears in her eyes but she refused to let them fall. Without saying anything more Xe crawled back into bed and waited for Ares to join her. He moved in close and pulled her into the safety of his body. She felt instantly better, all his warmth and strength seeped into her and allowed her weary mind to fall into some sort of unconsciousness that resembled sleep, a sleep where the nightmares would be waiting.

The next morning Ares found Xe leaning against on of the pillars on his balcony watching the sun come up. She gave off a relaxed pose, but he knew this not to be true. Xe was tense and a little afraid. Her night last night had not been an easy one. The nightmares had started and Xe was forced to relive everything Xena went through. It played hell with someone's mind. Xe would be lucky to come away from it with a little bit of her sanity intact. Ares remained unmoving as he watched his newest protégé fight the demons of someone else's past.

Xe knew Ares was awake and watching her but she didn't want to face him yet. She had been asleep for three hours when the dreams drove her into the waking world. That was when Xe had come out on the balcony to lean against the pillar. Her intention had been to the let the night soothe her weary mind so she could go back to sleep but that hadn't happened. Xe had been standing here for three hours and soon it would be dawn. She always loved to watch the sunrise. Nothing was more beautiful. Now Xe got to see it in a whole new light living her in a world within a world. Olympus had many things that the human world would never have. Xe got to see the sun rise as four fiery horses stampeded across the dreary night sky to bring light to the world. The first time she had seen it Xe had been terrified that the horse would scorch everything in her path. Ares had chuckled at her and then told her to keep watching. She would never look at another sunrise the same again.

While she had been sleeping, Xena's memories wreaked havoc in Xe's mind. She recalled a battle that took place in another land. Xena had been the invading force and she had cut a bloody pat of destruction to reach her goal. The land bowed down to Xena's rule. The scenery melted into another battle, only this time Xena was trying to prevent others from terrorizing innocent people. Xena was really trying to atone for her sins. If she really had atoned, then Xe wouldn't be here reliving past deeds and mistakes. Xena had done something that had gotten her cursed to a never ending cycle of reincarnation until she learned a lesson. 'What fucking lesson am I supposed to learn?!' Xe's mind shouted. Xe slammed her fist into the marble pillar and dropped to her knees letting and the rage and pain ravage her body. There was nothing else she could do.

"Xe?" Ares asked quietly making her name a question.

"I want it all to stop." Xe said her vice devoid of emotion.

"What would you have me do?"

"I don't know."

Ares moved in behind her and brought her into the shelter of his body trying to chase away whatever demon had his claws in her. But he already knew what was wrong. She had been thinking about Xena and comparing herself to the woman who she resembled. "If I could I would take these memories from you." Ares whispered and hugged her tighter.

"I wouldn't let you. They have at least taught me not to repeat her mistakes." Xe replied. She had every single memory that belonged to Xena. The good, the bad, and the ugly. All of it was locked up tight inside Xe's mind.

"Why do you love her so?" Xe whispered.

"I love you." Ares replied in a gentle voice. He hated to see Xe suffer like this. Especially when he knew there was nothing he could do to help her.

"You love her. I'm the cheap copy."

"You and Xena are the same person. Both of you had painful beginnings. She lost her young brother to raiders and you lost your entire family to a drunken gunman who didn't know which way was up. She turned to War and so have you. War defined you both in different ways." Ares assured her. In his twisted mind he knew the difference between both women, but his heart wanted them to both be the same person. His love for Xena nearly died when she did, but then he had heard Xe calling to him for help, for him to save her and he couldn't resist. If there had been a way to save his Xena he would have, but he was grateful to have Xe with him now. She needed him in a way Xena hadn't. Ares sighed and gathered Xe into his arms where he carried her back to bed. He propped himself up against the headboard and held the quaking Xe in his arms the way you would a frightened child.

"ARES!" Someone bellowed from outside his temple. Xe and Ares sat up, but it was Ares who went out onto the balcony. Xe waited a few moments and then went to join him. The man who had shouted was none other than Hercules, Ares half brother and the favored one by Zeus. Xe knew him from Xena's memories. He was a kind man and another champion for justice. He had turned Xena down the path of right. She locked gazed with him, but she couldn't hold his stare. Xe was too ashamed.

"WHAT?!" Ares shouted back. Hercules was not his favorite. They constantly fought and argued. The last time they are argued had been about Xe and the fact that Ares wanted to train her. If Ares hadn't started to train her then her skills would have become more deadly. Xe remembered what Xena was like when her abilities had been honed with the training. She on the other hand had no training and her abilities would inadvertently kill someone. So the training was a necessity.

"I told you she didn't belong here." Hercules had appeared behind both of them.

"And I told you she is lot more dangerous out in the world by herself." Ares countered. He could argue for hours with his half brother if it meant keeping Xe with him.

"She's a human and humans have no place here in our realm."

"Then what are you doing here?" Ares shot back. Hercules had been human once but it was Zeus who had made him a God. And when Hercules had come back to Olympus her had brought back Morigann. They had their domestic bliss and no one else batted an eye at them. But when Ares finds Xe and brings her here everyone throws a fit.

"She has to go... right now." Hercules warned.

"'She' has a name." Xe said and shoved her way past Hercules and Ares. She had no intention of leaving... her sanity demanded that she stay right where she was.

"Xena?"

"I'M NOT HER!!" Xe shouted, "Stop expecting me to be her!"

"Xe..."

"No! I see the way you look at me too Ares. You look at me like any minute Xena will look at you through my eyes and that she will somehow take over my body being the woman you loved. Well I'm here to tell you won't! She's DEAD!" Xe shouted and fled the room. Ares knew better than to follow her when she was this angry.

Ares rounded on Hercules, "Are you happy now? You have no idea what she is going through!" Ares shouted. Hercules refused to understand the woman who looked like his dead friend, Xena. Even is Hercules was in pain he had no right to lash out at Xe. She was an innocent in all of this.

"You can't bring Xena back through that girl." Hercules seethed.

"I'm not trying to."

"Lie to yourself if you want but she has to go." Hercules disappeared leaving Ares alone to worry about Xe.

GARDENS OF HERA:

Xe had tried to resist the urge to cry and she inevitably failed. So here she sat crying under a willow tree. The wood nymphs had left her alone and went to frolic or do whatever they did to entertain themselves. Xe pulled her knees up close to her chest and hid her face. She just wanted to cry until there were no more tears and no more pain. But the pain was always constant in her life. Ares was the only one to make the pain less and he could chase away the demons Xena had left her.

"What ya cryin for?" A voice asked with a distinct Celtic lilt to it.

Xe looked up to see a red haired woman in ancient Celtic clothing. She had to be Morigann. Xe wiped at her tears and tried for a little bit of composure. But she failed. Morigann sat down next to her and lounged against the bark of the weeping willow.

"I wasn't crying." Xe sniffled.

"Oh, so those aren't tear tracks down your cheeks." She said and Xe looked at her but she couldn't say anything.

"Say, aren't you Xena?"

"No, I'm not her."

"You look an awful lot like her. Same hair, same eyes, and same voice."

"Well I'm not her." Xe stated.

"Oh, my mistake then." Morigann rose to her feet and offered her hand to Xe. "You wanna take walk and talk about it?"

Xe reached up and put her hand in Morigann's. The only God on Olympus to be nice to her was Ares. It was shocking that Morigann was being nice to her as well. She was the lover of Hercules. Xe knew that when any of them looked at her they thought they were looking at Xena and they would take out their rage on her. She had done nothing to deserve this from them. The only thing she had done was been born with the knowledge and memories of Xena as well as her features.

"How did you come to be here?" Morigann inquired. She wanted to get to know the girl the other Gods were making a fuss over. To Morigann this girl was innocent, scared, and troubled. She didn't deserve what was happening to her. Morigann knew that the death of Xena hit Hercules hard. He had trouble coping for years after, and now to have this exact duplicate walking around Olympus was not easy for him. But it must be harder for Xe.

"Ares, he saved me." Xe answered. It was true Ares had saved her from the institution. He'd come for her in the dead of night when all the others had been drugged into sleep. Ares flashed into her room and gathered her into his arms. One look told her he had come to save her and not condemn her. When she had woken in the morning it was to the beauty of Olympus and not to the sterile white room she had been caged in.

"Can I see you wrists?" Morigann asked. When she had been watching the young woman Morigann had noticed scars on her wrists. She was curious to know more about them. Xe stopped and for some reason thrust her arms out for Morigann to see. At one time the dreams and nightmares had grown so fierce that Xe had tried taking her own life to make it all stop. Someone had happened upon her and taken her to a hospital where they stitched her up and put her in her first mental ward. Three days later she escaped back into the woods and moved further into them where no one dared follow her. Morigann ran her thumbs over the angry scars and felt pain for this girl. What she must have been through to try and end her own life. Morigann herself could remember thoughts of death just to make her pain go away, but she had Bridgette to help with her own inner demons. One small smile from her daughter and Morigann's world would brighten. She could tell that when Xe was with Ares things were easier for her. Whatever plagued her, Ares seemed to make go away.

"Let's get you back to Ares then." Morigann said and set off towards Ares temple.

ARES TEMPLE:

Ares sat on the railing of the balcony when he heard footsteps approaching. He turned and saw Xe rushing towards him. Morigann was lurking in the entranceway, she wasn't sure if she was welcome. All that didn't matter because Xe was here with him. When she got to him Xe threw her arms around his neck and hugged him for dear life. He looked over her shoulder and towards Morigann. She held up her hands and then backed out of the room.

"Where did you go?" Ares pulled back from Xe and cupped her face in his hands. For the first time in his life he was really worried about her, and he hadn't been thinking about Xena. Ares had been thinking about Xe's safety.

"I was in the Gardens of Hera." Xe didn't say what she had been doing because she knew that Ares could see it for himself. She had been crying. For the first time looking in Ares eyes Xe could tell he loved her, but to be loved by War was to be consumed and possessed. Xe wasn't sure if that was what she wanted. All she wanted was to be held by Ares and feel some semblance of sanity come back into her. Ares wrapped his arms around her again and let his warmth seep into her. She had wanted to come back to him. Xe wanted to be here. Ares felt a ripple go through him. The others were calling him to the Great Hall.

"I have to go." Ares said.

"No, take me with you." Xe's voice was shaky. She didn't want to be alone with her thoughts. Ares said nothing. He took her hand and together they appeared in the Great Hall to see what was left of the once great Greek Pantheon.