Title: Make Me Want to Give into You

Author: November Leaving

Rating: I hate rating these things but I would say heavy T/light M.

Disclaimer: I claim not rights to "Boy Meets World" but I do own this plot particular story.

PS ~ Not proofread.

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Chapter 1

'Five minutes and counting.' Staring at the clock placed conveniently over the teacher's head, Shawn continued his traditional last ten minute countdown before final bell.

The class was twelfth grade English otherwise know as World Literature. Discussing ancient texts from Egypt, India and Africa seemed like it would be a nice break from the traditional American literature and classics that have been drilled into his head since sixth grade. It had it's moments for sure but today his attention could not be held.

His life was finally on the up and up. His grades had improved to a C average; he was no longer living with his father; he had a girlfriend that he had been with for two months; and he may have the opportunity to get into a college somewhere. Things in his life were golden, stable, and borderline perfect.

After school, Topanga, Cory, Angela and he were going to the coffee shop to listen to a poetry slam. His friends were surprised that he would want to go there. However, the thought of hot cappuccinos (and hot chocolate for Cory) with a warm apple tart was appealing. Fall was beginning to blend into winter. The wind was crisp and the days were shorter.

This was Shawn's favorite time of year. In less than two weeks Thanksgiving break would be here. The holidays, though depressing, were still his favorite time of the year. It gave him a chance to get away from the hectic life of school and dating every other girl and just relax – have fun with his best and oldest pal.

"Well, the bell is just about to ring. So, I'll hand back your writing assignments and you can leave." Ms. Prudent told her class.

Shawn shoved his thick textbook and three-ring binder into his backpack. He was quite ready to go and get gone.

"Shawn," she smiled at him, "can you hang back after class for me?"

"Sure thing," he groaned out. He yanked on his leather jacket. Watching all his other classmates receive their papers and leave two minutes early agitated Shawn. He knew he tried his hardest – put everything on the line for this assignment.

The class was given the task of creating an Aesop-esque tale. Shawn's tale was about a boy in a remote village who one day stumbles upon the shaman who is in a trance. The medicine woman garbles out a coded message, a prophecy, that the child must fulfill. He comes across a lurking snake (a symbol in the village of sin and evil) and a mongoose (a symbol of strength and nobility). They want to help him. Though his instincts tell him to trust the snake, he follows the mongoose's instructions because that was what he was born, bred, and brainwashed into believing. In the end the snake was right and the boy is in grave danger. The snake helps him to safety. It's all about non-conformity and the nuances of society and how people shouldn't do as followed if they trust in something else.

He thought that deserved a B-.

Once everyone was gone, Shawn shouldered his book bag. He stood at the edge of his teacher's desk.

"Did I really do that bad?"

Ms. Prudent began packing her things up. She remained silent until she had her coat on, suitcase filled and ready. The young teacher handed her pupil his assignment.

"No, Shawn. You didn't do bad at all. In fact…"

He looked down at the paper. It was something he had never seen before. "I got a 100. I got an A+?"

She grinned wide. "It was beautifully written. Shawn, you have a natural gift with words. Very simple yet romantic, profound…and the subtleties, which I find makes a story a true classic, were woven in ever so perfectly. My favorite part was the prophecy. It was poetic. Have you ever thought about writing? You have a way with words that can enchant. Would you mind if I presented this to my mentor from university? I think she could find some wonderful opportunities for you. Maybe get it published in a short story journal or, at the very least, put it in a writing contest. I think this could win you some scholarships."

"Wow. Woah. That's a bit to throw at someone. I just wrote."

"How long have you written?"

"About three years. But I tend to stick to poetry."

"It showed in that message and the scenic descriptions. You have a true gift. I have to let you know that I'm going to expect nothing less than this caliber of work."

Shawn never had expectations given to him. He didn't hold himself to any standard worth mentioning. It was a scary thing…worrying about putting out high standard work each and every time.

She rested her hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry. I believe that this is just the start. So, do you think I could go make a copy of this and send it off?"

All he could stand was a nod of his head.

"Great. There's a copier in the library around the corner."

"Uh…I'll go to my locker and meet you there." said Shawn.

"See you there."

Alone he was in that room with his thoughts. He hadn't had that much praise in one sitting since living with Jonathan Turner. He needed to let his former guardian know about this. He rushed to his locker, shoved what he needed into his bag and threw what he didn't into the locker. He met his teacher, got the paper back and went to the "other part" of the school.

"Yo, Jon!" he shouted down the hallway, seeing the teacher heading toward the exit.

"Yo, Hunter!" Mr. Turner took his Aviator shades off. "What you need? And tell me why this can't wait until when decided we were going to meet?"

"I have big news and I knew you had nothing going on in your life. That is to say, you have nothing until I'm around."

"Hardy-har. What's this?" He grabbed the paper out of the younger man's hand.

Shawn anxiously waited on bated breath to hear what his friend would say.

"I knew you could do it. I just knew it. When you let me proofread it I told you this was out of the ballpark."

He retold Mr. Turner of the events previous. He told him how exciting it would be to be published. He hoped that he would get a scholarship for school.

"I'm just so proud of you. I believed you could do it." He grabbed Shawn around the shoulders and pulled him into a hug. "See you soon, Hunter."

"Bye, Jon." He watched as Jon left.

Behind him he heard the distinct shuffle of feet. "There you are. You're late. I told the girls to go ahead of us."

Abruptly, Shawn was pulled out from his thoughts about possible contest earnings and publication. He shoved the paper into his backpack.

"Oh, hey, Cor. Sorry. I saw Jon and talked to him. Time just slipped away."

Part of his brain shouted for him to tell his best friend about his very first A+. Yet his heart reminded him off all those times where he made Cory feel inadequate.

The time he discovered girls first.

The time he was asked to the Turnaround Dance first.

The time…

There plenty of times where Shawn did, said, or was something that Cory couldn't never be or pull off. It hurt a bit to see his friend down on himself when Shawn wished every other day he could be like Cory – without worrying about where food was coming from or if his mom or dad would come back for the night (or ever) or how to suppress the hurt. That was the life he wanted but knew he could never have since he grew up in a trailer park with trailer trash.

Besides, they both had the same project (Cory had World Lit. second bell instead of seventh) and he remembered how much Cory struggled. It was best to keep his success to himself. At least, away from Cory. Angela was into creative writing and he could tell her the wonderful news.

"Let's get a move on. I think I'll get the whip cream and chocolate sprinkles on the hot coco."

Simple, satisfied Cory with his safe choices that he could make.

"I don't know why you won't try a latte or cappuccino or mocha."

"Don't wanna."

The two boys walked side-by-side out the school and down the street, sharing the anecdotes of the day. The sun was setting, casting the world around them into hues of gold. The wind whipped around Shawn. He pulled his collar up to warm his ears.

"Got back my paper today. I did better than I thought: a B."

"Good for you. I knew you shouldn't worry so much. I got the same old same old." He glimpsed over at Cory before he crossed the street. He could see the café three blocks ahead.

"You didn't get better. For what is worth, what you told me sounded like B+ work at the very least."

Shawn shrugged. "Who cares?"

"You should. You need to keep you grades up if we're going to go to school together."

"We've already talked about this. You need to be prepared for the likelihood of me not getting into where you're going."

Cory stopped dead in his tracks. "Not a possibility. Not an option."

Shawn pursed his lips together due to frustration. Cory had to realize that soon the world would separate them into their assigned categories. Cory: a married man with potential. Shawn: divorced and selling tires. Shawn knew he could get into school but what could he do with writing?

Shawn began to walk off, without Cory. He kept his pace excruciatingly slow so that Cory could catch up. When he did, Cory was close – closer than normal. Their shoulders pressed together and the back of Cory's hand brushed against his.

He sighed. It pained him to do this. It pained him that they couldn't do this. "Stop. You know we can't."

Cory growled, throwing his hands up in the air. "Why not? Why can't we?"

"We just can't." Shawn stood in front of him. There was Cory, bundled up and ready for the impending winter freeze. Warmth spread through him as straighten the knit cap Cory had on. God only knew why he reached out but Shawn just yearned to brush against something – anything – that was connected to Cory Matthews.

"Stop it." Cory stepped back, trying to put as much space between them as he could allow. "You can't do that to me if you have no intention of being with me."

"Sorry," murmured the other teen. "You know I never meant to hurt you. It's just…"

"Just what?"

"We can't. That's all there is."

"Yes we can. We did it before. We can do this after."

"That was years ago. Forget about it."

"It was six months, two weeks, and four days ago. I won't and can't forget about it. I know you can't either."

"We have to go. They're waiting for us inside."

"Topanga isn't important. Angela isn't important. This-" He grabbed Shawn's hand, interlacing their finger. "This is important. Why can't you see that?"

"Why can't you let this go? Why can't you see that this can't be and it will never be important?" Shawn raked his free hand through his hair.

"Fine." Cory dropped his hand. "Fine." He stomped up towards the café. "FINE!"

Shawn stood rooted to the spot, biting his lips, trying to hold the tears back. He loved Cory. He truly meant those words when he said it. But once he left Cory that weekend and went back to the real world – his world – it was obvious they couldn't be accepted. And Shawn refused to have Cory worry about him if ever things went wrong.

He trudged down the stairwell that led to the underground coffee shop. Once he was inside, he searched out Cory. He was seated in a chair and a half seat with Topanga in a corner.

"Hey, Shawn. Took you forever to get here." Angela gracefully maneuvered through the maze of couches and cozy chairs. The two kissed briefly before plopping down on a couch.

"Yeah, well. Look." He handed her his paper.

"Oh! Oh, Shawn!" She showered butterfly kisses over his face and neck. "I told you. I told you that you couldn't get less than a billon points on this."

The two went over their days with Shawn dominating the conversation, informing him of what Ms. Prudent told him.

The day went on, listening to poems and discussing them with Angela. Shawn genuinely cared for Angela. It was great to be with someone who had a lot of the same life situations as he did. They legitimately cared for each other and loved the time they spent. They instantly connected.

Shawn had trouble focusing on her though. Cory was in his sights at all times. He pissed his friend off. He lost out on the relationship he wanted, though he was in one that satisfied him.

Life never went the way Shawn Hunter wanted it to but at least Cory was still in his life.

And then again…

…seeing Cory upset and him not being able to fix it (as well as knowing that he caused it) killed him, bit by bit.