Allright, part two of my double upload! Back to Goku's POV :)

This one's fairly short! Sorry, but the next chapters will be back to normal. I had certain things I wanted to deal with in this chapter, and so this is how it worked out :P

Chapter 8

To Love And Be Loved

I can't help but smile when I think about my first time with Vegeta. It was phenomenal -everytime with Vegeta was phenomenal- but that first time was so unexpected and surprisingly good.

But we didn't belong to each other. It was true that I belonged to him, but he... he refused to be mine.

Merely wishing, hoping, or dreaming for something doesn't make it come true. It doesn't matter how much you want it... By doing nothing, you will likely end up with nothing. You will quite possibly watch your life go by. If you want to be happy, or loved, you need to actively seek it.... And not settle for less than what you deserve. That was the mistake I made for awhile.

I didn't recall falling asleep, but I woke up to sprinkling rain. I looked up, seeing rainclouds in the distance. For now, it was light, but..

I sat up and looked around. No Vegeta, and the picnic basket lay untouched, right where I left it. I looked for my clothes, but they were torn apart from having sex. My good mood vanished as the rain started to get more and more frequent. Where did he go? Feeling for his ki, I found him a short distance away, on a small cliff near the beach. He sat in his dark blue spandex with his legs hanging off the edge, staring off into the distance. I sat down next to him, and we were silent for awhile.

I couldn't believe it. Vegeta and I had had sex. Sex! It was... well, it had been like nothing I'd expected. I mean, I'd had a general idea of how those things went when two men were involved... but fuck! That was amazing.

Vegeta was amazing.

I grinned and leaned back on my hands.

Vegeta turned back to me with a raised eyebrow. "Happy, Kakarot?"

"Very." I leaned forward to give him a kiss on the lips. He didn't respond, though he let me kiss him, and I leaned back again, wondering what he was thinking. "And you?"

"I am fine." The words were simple, but they definitely hurt. Not to mention the fact that there was no emotion in eyes at all.

To say I was disappointed was an understatement. I had opened myself up to him in every way possible, after all. "Why just fine? I thought we both had a pretty good time."

"We did."

"So... what's the problem here?" I know you have a hard time explaining yourself, or letting yourself be happy... Maybe that's all it is.

He stared into my eyes. "There is no problem... other than you getting the wrong idea."

Silence again.

"What do you mean?" I eventually asked, once my heart stopped hammering so madly.

He sighed, and turned back towards the ocean. "I wasn't clear earlier, Kakarot. I suppose.. that is my fault. I have no desire for us to be.. together, in a relationship... Nothing has changed between us."

"But we had sex!" I was trying really hard not to raise my voice.

"An important step to a human, no doubt. But hardly one for a saiyan. We are warriors.. Fighting, and fucking, is quite natural to us." He looked back at me with what was almost a smile. "You're not unattractive, Kakarot, and, well, look at me."

I smiled at that. "Yeah..."

"You have already stated what you want between us, and I have said no. I meant it. However... I wouldn't be adverse to a physical relationship, if you want it."

I contemplated that for awhile.

Sex... with Vegeta... on a regular basis. I shivered at the thought. There was something so sexy about him. He was so confident, so dominating. It was definitely a turn-on. He was so different from anyone else I knew, after all. But he was saying no to anything else. No to a real relationship.

And yet... maybe I could change his mind in time. After all, he'd previously not wanted anything to do with me, and now we'd had sex. Wild, passionate sex. I know he felt something for me, for that had only become more apparent. He'd been so... gentle, at least at first. Putting my needs before his.

I stared at the back of his head and wondered. This was a minor victory for me, although he was putting his terms in no uncertain terms. However... I could wait it out. This was good enough for now, because at least.. at least I could be near him. Touch him and be touched by him. Yes. that was enough.

Wasn't it?

Vegeta.... I shivered, already wanting him on me and in me again. As if he could sense my desire, he turned towards me with his customary smirk and already lust-filled eyes. I reached for him, and he came, pushing me onto the ground and laying on top of me.

"You win, Vegeta," I told him, closing my eyes and breathing in his powerful scent.

"Of course I do," He murmured lustily, licking my neck and making me shiver in anticipation, even as the rain began pouring harder.

...For now, I added to myself before succumbing to dreamy bliss.

We never did get to the picnic. The food was mostly ruined from the rainstorm by the time we got back to it. It didn't matter though, because food was no longer foremost in my mind. Vegeta had earned that spot.

It wasn't raining back home, and we decided to spar, since we hadn't done so for a few weeks. Every since the week before the big party, actually. Strange how much had changed in so little time..

Vegeta still couldn't reach level 3, so we stuck to level 2. Now, though, there was a change...He seemed to be able to read me even better than before, and I found myself having to watch myself every step of the way. Soon, I had far more bruises and cuts than him, and was breathing heavier too.

After he had pounded me into the ground for the millionth time, I stood up slowly and coughed up some blood. I narrowed my eyes at him while he smirked from above, clearly enjoying his triumph. "Allright, Vegeta... How have you improved so much in the last three weeks?"

He landed in front of me and wiped some blood from my jaw while he surveyed the damage to my body. "I've upped my normal routine, since you've been pissing me off so much." He answered with a low chuckle. "And you... you've been slacking, haven't you? Not to mention the fact that you use the same moves over and over. I know you well, Kakarot... Quite well, now." His smirk widened and he leaned in, teasing me. "Perhaps you should mix it up a bit."

I growled at him. "I do not use the same moves over and over! And I know you well, too, Vegeta." I sat down on a nearby rock, turning away from the prince. He was improving so fast... I would have to start intensely training if I wanted to stay ahead of him. I was still stronger, but he was so damn clever.

"Stop sulking," He said lightly, coming up and rubbing my shoulders from behind the rock. I leaned back into him without thinking about it, and he didn't comment.

"Welll... You're a powerful foe, Vegeta. Glad we're not enemies anymore..."

"Hmm." His breath tickled my skin.

"But I'm not going to lose this spar!" I decided abruptly, leaping up and whirling around to face a surprised Vegeta. He regained his composure quickly, however, and soon we were locked in battle once more.

Time passed much the same as it had, except now Vegeta and I were lovers. It was our secret, of course, since no one else needed to know. Or at least, that was how Vegeta felt about it. As for myself, I was happy with the way things were... sort of. I wanted to hold him and kiss him in public, and to be able to go to him if I was upset. Not that I was often upset, but.. I wanted to have that option. I wanted us to be truly together. I wanted him to love me as much as I loved him.

On the bright side, Vegeta and I were closer than we'd ever been. Physically and emotionally. Sometimes I caught him looking at me with an almost-tender expression. Of course, being Vegeta, he would act like nothing had ever happened, but thinking about it made me smile. We had amazing, explosive sex several times a day, usually after sparring, and it was easily the best time of my life. I had never been so horny before...

Once or twice, I had wanted to enter him, but he would immediately change it around so that he remained in charge. He also never wanted to sleep beside me. He simply refused to let me into his heart all the way, and it wasn't long before it started to bother me.

Unfortunately, he remained aloof and cold much of the time. I decided I would have to make myself irresistable to him... I needed a plan. But I was worried that he would back off from what we had if I was too forceful.

So, I was stuck.

Not that it was that bad, really. He was a damned good sexual partner, and being around him made me happy.

But I felt unsatisfied nonetheless. One day, about two months after our physical relationship had begun, we went to a beautiful crystalline lake in the middle of a forest after one of our spars. We were both sweaty, exhausted, and decided to cleanse ourselves. I watched him undress and dive gracefully into the lake, and felt a pang in my chest. I had gotten used to feeling like that, as if I was only... half full. Of course, I wasn't the type to drown in pain. And yet... Vegeta was just so much more than anyone else I knew. So darkly fascinating, fiercely clever and... beautiful.

He was unbelievable.

Vegeta resurfaced, and noticed me staring. "Well? What are you waiting for?" He demanded with a lusty glint in his eyes.

I smiled slighly. "Eh.. nothing, I guess." I dove in, resurfacing halfway across the lake.

He frowned at me from near the shore. "Come here, Kakarot."

I frowned back, feeling annoyed. "No. I want to swim." To illustrate my point, I began doing side strokes, all the while moving away from Vegeta. He made no comment, and finally I looked back at him. He was swimming to me, and I stopped and waited.

He reached me, and we treaded water and stared at each other. "You've been irritable all day." He commented.

I shrugged. "Yeah..."

"Why?"

I took a deep breath. "It doesn't matter, Vegeta. I just.. Well, I just wanna swim."

"Hmm."

After that, I laid on my back and did slow backstrokes, staring up at the clouds and trying to relax. I was definitely on edge today. Vegeta was pissing me off.. And for no reason, really. After all, he'd made his position clear, and I had accepted it. But he was lying. He wants to be with me... or at least would if he would just allow himself to be happy. Stupid royal nuisance... Why oh why does he have to be like this? This has been going on for so long...

I sighed, and closed my eyes.

Eventually, I realized that Vegeta was no longer at the lake. I sought out his ki, and found him back at Capsule Corporation with Bulma and Trunks. Probably eating dinner with his family.

And then guilt closed in. I wanted Vegeta all to myself, but he had a family.. Of course, I'd heard reports that Bulma and Yamcha were together again... and Trunks was aware that his parents were no longer together. Chances are, it wouldn't be a big deal if he knew about Vegeta and I.

But what did we have, really? I thought bitterly. We could have it all... but he has that damn control issue. I don't understand it... because he won't let me understand it.

Vegeta never talked about his past, but I knew it was horrible...horrifying, more than likely. I remembered a time that I had asked him about it, and he'd gotten angry and blasted off, ignoring me for the rest of the day.

I felt bitter, and hurt, and desperately wanted to punch something. I powered up to supersaiyan without thinking about it, my golden ki swirling around me and drying me off.

I flew up and away.

Hmmm.. where's Goku going? And where is their relationship, or lack thereof, going? Is hope in sight or will it all end in disaster?

...Of course, I am quite the drama queen! But please leave me a review! You know I love it :D