The Splinter Inside Me

Taylor Leiby

Transformers (2007)

disclaimer: i dont own transformers. nor do i own the characters blahblah. title taken from lyrics of "winter" my joshua radin. which i also do not own. clearly this is a slash. dont like slash, dont read it. and yeah i get some of you like mikaela. i dont hate her. she's just so gosh darn pretty. and i could never portray her character correctly. so she might show up now and then but not often. aaand, this is before revenge of the fallen. which i HAVE seen. but i just dont feel the need in writing after it.

"Bumblebee!" It was in this instant, as Samuel James Witwicky gazed at his whimpering and writhing guardian that he realized his true, unbridled love for the beautiful, loyal Camaro. His own eyes met the pleading blue optics and his heart constricted in his chest. He was faced with the other unbearable realization that he would most likely never see this gorgeous being after this moment in time, and it scared the absolute shit out of him.

This single memory had consumed Sam for an entire month. This memory, and only two others. The most potent being the moment he first heard Bee's beautiful voice processor in use, the other being the absolute dispair when his guardian lost his legs. It was like the thoughts were on an infinite loop in his mind, and day after day he began ignoring Mikaela more and more, the initial attraction becoming less and less appealing.

Sam sat in the leather seat of his closest frined and gently, absently stroked the stick shift he did not need to use. Erotic and inappropriate thoughts made his hand snap back and he coughed loudly and abruptly. His cheeks burned red and he nervously chewed on his lip upon feeling the car shudder beneath him. "Bee, you ok?" concern was thick in his voice and he feared his best friend was either growing sick, or upset with him.

"E-Everything is fine, Sam. Please, don't worry about me." The Autobot spoke in his own voice. Optimus had successfully restored his vocals for the time, and be was still apprehensive about the way it sounded in place of the choppy radio transmissions. Who he was worried about impressing was something only he and his own spark knew, and would remain that way for some time. The 'bot still clung to the child-like innocence he seemed to portray so perfectly and it seemed Sam would have it no other way.

However, despite the reassurance from the dear Camaro, Samuel would always worry for Bumblebee. It was purely his nature to worry and care for the thing dearest in his life. Sure, he had come to terms with the fact that Bee was the dearest thing to him, but that didn't mean he wasn't cautious about his advancements - as few and far between as they were - and it certainly didn't mean that he was not also scared stiff of rejection and even of the possibility of his friend leaving him. This, understandably, was why in the intimate settings they were in, Sam kept his human trap shut and only watched the sun set in silence with Optimus, Ironhide, and Ratchet all around them in the simplistic silence that had all grown far too accustomed to.

Ironhide was the first to speak, and of course it was about Decepticons and the worry that hovered over them all. Was this the calm before the storm? "Optimus, are we just to lay low and wait for a move to be made?" It seemed as though it was a simple enough question, but it clearly left the leader 'bot pondering for some time before his vocal processor was finally used.

"In all honesty, Ironhide, I haven't the slightest idea of what should be done. Part of me is no doubt paranoid and with good reason, but the other wishes to just be put at ease and relax for now. What are the chances of Megatron rising from the ocean depths? Alternatively, the chances of Starscream taking sole leadership are very high, and I can almost guarantee it, and this worries me."

Iron hide seemed to be taking a moment to let everything soak in deep before he nodded a short, curt nod of understanding. "Perhaps we should not provoke them, as much as I would enjoy that, and simply appreciate this tranquil time we have, even if it turns out to be short lived." When not tense with war and impending destruction, Ironhide wasn't all that bad. Granted, he wasn't friendly but he wasn't readied to slaughter either.

Sam was perfectly fine with just listening to the Autobots and found himself rather excited with the approaching down time. Perhaps in this time he could confess his feelings for the very being that surrounded him. Just the thought sent his stomach into knots and made his heart flutter. Samuel audibly whimpered and Bee instantly grew concerned, "Sam are you all right? Your breathing has grown heavy and laboured."

These things were clearly true as the human climbed out of the Camaro and panted softly. He had to do it now, so he could get used to the giant robot before him hating his guts. He waited until Bumblebee was at eye to optic level with him before kissing his best friend's cold, metallic cheek and backing away. "I love you, Bee!" He shouted before running full force from the clearing.

He ran so suddenly and so quickly he actually slipped on the sleek, dew coated grass and his breathing grew even heavier. The pace at which he ran at now resembled the way he ran as he held the Allspark close to his chest, protecting it with his very existance. However now, he ran now to protect his heart and emotions from total and utter devastation and heartbreak.

The yellow 'bot so badly desired to chase after Sam, to tell him it was all ok, however Optimus stopped him where he stood. "Let the boy think. It is trying on a human's heart to experience such ardent emotions. And, I'm sure it's even harder for Samuel given the," he paused to consider the correct word to be used., "Circumstances." He finally decided on.

Bumblebee bowed his helm and clutched at his aching spark chamber with a strong servo. "But Optimus," he lifted his helm to show he indeed was lubricating his optics. "I love him."

ending: thanks so much to everyone who read this. this first chapter is extremely short and i'm so sorry for that. it took a long time to get anything going in the tiny brain of mine. please leave reviews and comments.