Chapter 36

Breaking The Surface

Nuada lay in his own bed now, pale and still. He had been undressed and laid out, still unconscious. Ecris had checked him over from head to foot, but there was nothing he could find that could help him to formulate an answer to help the Prince. He hardly seemed to be even breathing, and Ecris kept checking him worriedly. 'I just do not know quite what to do...' he said distractedly as he took hold of Nuada's wrist and checked his pulse again. It was getting weaker. He closed his eyes and sighed heavily. Naeva laid a comforting hand on his arm and he laid his own on top of it, thankful that he had her at his side at this moment. Opening his eyes he turned to her wearing a weary expression.

'Again, I feel as if all my knowledge of healing is worth nothing...' he said sadly. 'If only I could summon the power that you can access.. Perhaps then I would be more capable at times like these...' He looked so sorrowful that Naeva reached out and squeezed his hand. 'Don't, Ecris...' she said gently. 'This is hardly the same as any other sickness you are usually called upon to deal with...' She turned and gazed at Nuada as he lay before her looking steadily worse. 'I know,' said the old Mage, his voice heavy with emotion, '...but I did not think I would be sitting here watching him fade before my eyes...not Nuada...'

He had watched Nuada grow up, had witnessed him fall, almost as if in slow-motion, from being a bright-eyed, happy and loving boy, to becoming a troubled youth as sorrow, hate and confusion had taken him to the depths of despair and nigh on madness. But he had also witnessed his physical and spiritual return back in the Golden Army chamber. He could never have imagined that he would be witnessing such a dramatic loss of the simple will to carry on living that the Prince had now succumbed to. Looking down on Nuada's unconscious form made him realize how much he cared for him...he loved him almost as if he were his own son.

'Why did I not see how far down his sorrow had taken him?' Naeva sat beside Ecris as he checked Nuada's condition again, watching and listening...

This is when Nuala walked in, having overheard Ecris's last words. She walked up behind her old friend and laid her hands on his shoulders. 'Ecris, please don't blame yourself anymore,' she said quietly, gazing down at her brother's slowly fading form. 'None of us saw...he made sure of it.' She knew Nuada would have done everything he possibly could to conceal anything another could deem a weakness in him. That would leave him vulnerable...and that was something he was never prepared to allow.

Oacma had now also entered the room, having followed Nuala from her own. He had been making sure she was coping under the terrible circumstances they all found themselves in and had escorted her to her chambers so that she could be tended by her maids. She needed some time to prepare herself for what may prove to be a prolonged vigil at her brother's bedside...and there was no certainty at all as to how it may end...

Ecris tried to link with him, pressing his palm against Nuada's, trying to reach him, but to no avail. Next, Nuala tried. She was his twin, the other half of him. If this didn't work...

After each of them trying time and time again with no success, the hours passing by one after another, they had to concede defeat and let him lie in peace once more...even though it appeared to them all now that this peace may soon become an eternal one. With heavy hearts they either sat or stood in silence, each lost in their own thoughts, each trying not to imagine the worst.

They spent the next few hours simply biding time, not knowing what to do except stay close by and keep checking him for signs of any change for the better...or worse.

Naeva watched as Ecris took Nuada's pulse for the umpteenth time. She was starting to feel tired herself now and despite her best efforts she could feel her eyelids becoming heavier and heavier until she could keep them open no longer. She sat quietly with her eyes closed, allowing her mind to drift as she explored every avenue she could think of for trying to help Ecris...

As she slowly succumbed to the lull of slumber, somewhere in that space between sleep and wakefulness, she found herself in a strangely familiar place, one filled with light that moved around her. To her it felt like she was floating in fluid sunshine...

Suddenly it was as if all the fear and uncertainty just drained away from her. She felt calm, peaceful, yet energized...

'Let me try...' she said, her voice almost languidly calm. Ecris turned to see what Naeva was talking about...and just for a moment a hopeful smile formed on his lips. Her eyes were now open...and he could see that they were beginning to glow as something kicked in, something instinctual. She was no longer acting as a mere mortal girl...

It was as if someone had come to stand beside her and told her exactly what she needed to do. With the others watching, she pulled the bed-sheet down a little until she revealed the small scar on his chest, the one that they both now shared. She sat down gently on the bed beside him and laid one of her hands over Nuada's heart and the other she laid on his forehead. Closing her eyes she began to breathe deeply and slowly as she tried to link with him...

It was dark here.

But it wasn't cold.

It wasn't really...anything.

There was just him, surrounded by darkness, silence, stillness.

He simply existed, feeling nothing...totally numb.

He liked it. He wanted to stay like this forever...

Alone...

'Nuada...'

A soft voice whispered in the darkness. He wasn't sure he'd heard it.

It was nothing. No-one here but him. Just the way he wanted it.

'Nuada...'

He had heard it...the voice...

No... It is not real... If I ignore it...

'Nuada...! Nuada...please answer me!' It was growing more insistent.

'Leave me alone...,' he whispered back at the voice.

'No!' Insistent and argumentative.

'Leave me alone...,' he whispered back again. 'Go away...'

He didn't want to think. He wanted peace...

'I can't go away...I won't leave unless you come with me!'

Why...? Why can I not just...stay here...? 'Why should I go back...?'

'Because we need you...'

No-one needs me... It is better this way... Just leave me...please...'

'Nuada...please...come back with me...I can help you...'

'No...no you cannot... no-one can help me...'

He felt a light sensation as if a feather had brushed against his skin...

'Yes, I can...' It was starting to get a little lighter.

But I like the dark... Let me stay in the dark...

'Come, Nuada... come back with me and I will help you...'

'But why...? Why would you want to?... No! I cannot go back... I..killed my own father...'

'I know... but...'

'NO!'

He was falling fast... back into the dark... back into the dark... peace...

Naeva's eyes opened and she exhaled heavily. 'I found him! I almost had him!' she cried in frustration. 'He doesn't want to come back.' she said, her voice faltering as she thought about the pain and sorrow she had felt in his mind.

Ecris sighed heavily as his hopes began to fade. Perhaps if he consulted more of the texts...maybe he could find something... Perhaps he would remember some obscure piece of lore as he read...

Nuala turned away, trying to hide her threatened tears. 'I think perhaps you should get some rest, Your Highness,' said Oacma quietly, moving from in front of the door to stand beside her. 'Yes... yes, perhaps you are right,' she said with a heavy sigh. 'If there is any change...any change at all...' 'We will come for you immediately, Nuala,' said Ecris with a sad smile. With that, Oacma opened the door and escorted her back to her own rooms where she lay down to try to get some sleep, though she was very doubtful she would be able to do that with her brother lying in his room, looking so...so... No-one heard as she wept into her pillow, feeling helpless as her twin appeared to be very slowly dying right before their eyes.

Ecris decided there was not much point in just sitting there. He left Naeva to watch over Nuada whilst he went to fetch some books and papers, something, anything that may be able to help them now.

Naeva herself sat beside his bed, watching for even the smallest sign that he may be waking up...

Oacma stayed in the room, wanting to stand vigil with his new friend and leader. He thought about his recent practices in the training hall with Nuada helping him with getting to grips with using two swords. He wanted to have improved the next time he went there with him... If he was ever to have that chance again...

After spending many hours trying to find an answer, Ecris was left tired, but no nearer to helping Nuada than he had been before. The only thing that he could think to do was to help Naeva to link with him again. If that failed, then there really was nothing more they could do for him. Time was against them now. Soon, it would not matter what they tried...

'Perhaps with my help, you may be able to reach him again...?' Ecris suggested. He looked tired and worried.

'Yes...yes, perhaps it will work!' Naeva replied rather more positively than she actually felt. 'Let us try together...' she said, trying to smile as she held her hand out to her friend and mentor. Oacma stood by the door again, watching in silence, his heart feeling as heavy as lead at seeing his leader... his new friend, lying almost as if dead. He didn't want to believe that this may be the end of all their dreams, all he and Nuada had discussed in their fervent conversations whilst training or wandering the palace whilst working out the finer details of their people's rise from the ashes.

And what of Nuala? He wondered how she would cope if her brother actually passed into darkness once more. She would now remain here without him, no longer physically sharing his fate. But could she survive without him in her life?

Taking a deep breath, Naeva again sat beside Nuada, one hand on his forehead, the other over his heart, but this time with Ecris's hand atop it, his other hand on Nuada's wrist. He wanted to keep an eye on his condition as they worked. She closed her eyes as he too closed his, each of them concentrating hard on making contact with Nuada once more...

The darkness was comforting to him...it cradled him...kept the pain away... He'd had enough pain...

'Nuada...Nuada...' The voice again...

'Why will you not leave me alone...?' His voice was barely even a whisper now. 'I just want to be left alone... I am so tired...'

'Nuada...please...just talk to me...'

'But I am so...tired... let me sleep now...please...' So tired... He started to fall fast...

...so peaceful...

Both Naeva and Ecris could feel Nuada's heartbeat getting noticably weaker, beginning to falter...

'Nuada! Nuada! I won't let you go this time! Stay with me! Nuada you must wake up...'

'…...Why...? …...Why must I...?'

'Because we want you to come back...we need you to come back to us, Nuada...'

...But...If I go back... '...no...too late...'

'Let me help you...I can help you...' the voice whispered.

'…..I do not want you to help me...'

'Why not?...Why not let me at least try...?'

'…..Because...I will remember...I do not want to remember...'

'I can help you...make the pain go away...'

'…..How? ...Can you bring my Father back...?'...no...he can never come back...

'No...I can't...but I can help you, I want to help you, Nuada...'

'..Who are you..? ...Who?!...WHY CAN YOU NOT LEAVE ME ALONE..?!'

'It's Naeva...please Nuada...just wake up...I can help you if you come back...'

It was getting lighter again...

'..Naeva...how...?...How can you be here..? ..Why would you be here..?'

He felt a touch...someone was holding him...pulling him...

'Because of this...'

His heart jolted and a warm sensation began to spread through him until he could...feel... It was like being dragged fast upwards through warm water, rising, rising until he broke the surface...

A sudden sharp pain clenched his heart...

With a loud gasp, Nuada's eyes shot open revealing dark, dilated pupils which contracted quickly to leave pale golden eyes blinking in the harsh light. He was breathing heavily and unsteadily as he tried to focus. 'Whe..where...am I?' he stammered as he looked around in confusion, trying to sit up. Ecris reached across him and held him down, trying to calm him. 'Nuada!..Nuada. It is alright, don't try to get up. Just...rest.'

Oacma had run forward as Nuada gained consciousness. 'I will go and fetch the Princess!' he cried and he turned on his heels and hurriedly opened the door, dashing down the corridor in the direction of Nuala's rooms.

Nuada looked round as his eyes adjusted to the light until at last he found he was gazing into a pair of warm, green eyes...

'Naeva...' he whispered as a silver tear slipped from the corner of his eye and trailed down into his long hair, '...why?' he said, his throat tightening. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back onto his pillow. 'Why did you bring me back?' he whispered. He looked so drawn and tired as Naeva gazed down at him. Her heart ached for him at that moment and a tear slid down her own cheek. 'I had to..' she whispered sadly, '...I had to...'

It was all starting to come back to him now. He remembered Nuala being beside him...the Council Chamber and...'Father...' he whispered, his voice breaking. He had left his sister to cope with all of her heartache alone. He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. '...Nuala...' 'Don't worry, Sire,' said Ecris quietly. 'She is resting in her room. Oacma has gone to inform her that you are...awake...' But Nuada did not want to wait for her. 'Please, Ecris...my clothes...' he said, slowly sitting himself up in the bed. Ecris shook his head. 'You must rest, Nuada. You are far from ready to get up yet.'

'Ecris...my friend...I promise I will rest properly soon, but first...I have to speak to her...now...' he said determinedly...

Nuala almost jumped out of her skin as a loud and insistent knock came at her door. She sat up quickly. 'Come in!' she called as she swung her legs over the side of her bed and stood up. As Oacma entered she ran forward. 'What is it? What has happened?!' she asked worriedly, frightened by the urgency of Oacma's arrival. Oacma himself was a little out of breath after his sprint but managed to say what he needed to. 'It is...Nuada! He has...regained consciousness!' he said breathlessly but with a very happy smile on his face. 'He has?!' cried Nuala, also smiling now. 'Thank the Gods!' she gasped, tears of relief beginning to trail down her cheeks. 'Thank you for coming to tell me!' She couldn't hold back her happiness and threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

Oacma wrapped his arms round her waist and hugged her back, filled with relief himself. He was so glad he could be the one to give her the good news. He loved to see her smile... Nuala pulled back a little...but only a little...just far enough to look into Oacma's eyes. They stood like this for a short while, just looking at each other...until at last Oacma plucked up the courage to do what he had wanted to for so long... Nuala's eyes widened as Oacma's lips were suddenly on hers, but very quickly her eyes slid shut and she softly kissed him back.

'Well now...!'

Nuada was standing in the doorway, his eyes wide and a soft smile on his lips. 'Nuada!' Nuala and Oacma pulled back looking flustered at being discovered in the midst of such a moment, but after a short, slightly awkward silence, Nuala gathered her thoughts and ran over to hug Nuada so tightly he almost couldn't breathe. 'I was so worried,' she said, trying hard not to appear quite so embarrassed as she was actually feeling. Nuada chuckled as he hugged her back, though she could tell his embrace was not nearly so strong as usual. She could also feel the waves of sheer exhaustion coming from him that he was trying, but failing miserably, to hide.

Pulling back from him she demanded that he sit down. 'You should not be here!' she said, fussing round him and trying to make him comfortable in the chair she had practically pushed him into. 'You should be in bed, resting! You gave us all such a fright, Brother!' Nuada grabbed her hand as she tried to adjust a cushion behind him yet again. 'Nuala...' he said quietly, his voice betraying his fatigue, '...it is alright...' he said, making her stop and calm down.

'I am sorry, Sister...,' he said sadly. 'I...,' He sighed heavily as he tried to find the words to apologise for what happened...for allowing his own grief to take him when she needed him. But Nuala already knew what he was trying to say and squeezed his hand in reply. 'Hush now,' she said gently. 'Do not worry. All that matters is that you are..awake,' she said thankfully, though 'alive' was what she wanted to say. She had thought she was going to lose him too...

'And..Father...?' Nuada asked in almost a whisper. 'He will be brought home in a few days time,' she replied quietly. 'We have postponed his funeral until you are well enough to attend...if you wish to...' she added, not wanting to push him into it again. Not after this... Nuada's gaze fell to the floor before him. 'I will attend...' he half-whispered. 'Our people need to see me there...' He knew it would only cause ill-feeling if he didn't and he wanted to avoid that at all costs. He was trying to build a new world for them and bringing avoidable problems with them as they embarked on that journey would only cause future heartache. 'What reason did you give for the delay?' he asked, curious as to how they could have put people off the scent of what had really happened.

'We told people that humans were in the vicinity and it was unsafe to continue as planned,' said Oacma, trying to cover his own embarrassment by being very matter of fact. 'Not unbelievable seeing as they are soon to demolish the Council Chamber and all the buildings around it.'

'Good thinking.' Nuada sighed heavily and closed his eyes for a moment as his exhaustion began to take hold of him. 'Come,' said Ecris laying a hand on his shoulder. 'I insist that you get some proper rest now.' Nuada opened his eyes and looked up wearily. 'Very well, Ecris,' he said quietly, realizing that his friend was not going to take no for an answer. He slowly raised himself from the chair and after another huge hug from Nuala he walked back to his own rooms with Ecris and Oacma following close by, watching him to make sure he was alright.

As they entered his room they found Naeva still there helping one of the servants to prepare his bed for him again. She looked up as they entered and moved to stand beside Ecris. Nuada found it a little awkward but he had to thank her...no matter how much he hadn't wanted her to help him at the time. He took her hand and gazed into her eyes, still almost dumbfounded that a human could have become such an important part of his new life. 'Thank you,' he whispered, not really knowing what else he could say to express how much he owed her for what she had done. 'No thanks are necessary,' she replied quietly. She was just glad he was safe now. Nuada was almost overcome with emotion for a moment and could say no more, so he did the only thing he could, and lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it gently. Naeva was completely taken aback. All she could do was smile, her eyes wide with surprise. Ecris was also surprised but very happy to see such a display of thanks from his Prince to his human apprentice.

After ensuring Nuada was going straight to his bed, Ecris and Naeva left his rooms. Only Oacma remained. He felt he should explain what had happened to his leader himself, feeling sure Nuada would probably be angry.

Nuada walked up and stood before him, looking rather stern. 'Oacma,' he said, addressing him in a very formal tone. Oacma held his breath, waiting to be curtly dismissed from Nuada's presence for good. 'Oacma...why on Earth has it taken you so long to show Nuala how you feel?! If I had known my possible demise would cause such a reaction...I would have keeled over weeks ago...' Nuada smiled at his friend's expression.

'Sire?' he asked, now quite confused. 'You are not...angry?' he asked, almost bewildered at the Prince's reaction. 'Why should I be?' said Nuada with a kind smile. 'To know my Sister has someone I trust and consider a good friend at her side...what is there to be angry about?' He patted Oacma warmly on the shoulder and as the tension he felt finally seeped away, Oacma smiled too. 'I think you should go back to her now...you must have a lot to discuss.'

Still almost unable to believe that Nuada had just given him his blessing, he quickly thanked him and left to see Nuala. They did indeed have some talking to do.

Once alone, Nuada slowly removed the shirt and trousers he had donned to visit his sister and washed with the warm water that had been left for his convenience. He felt a little better after that but he still had something to deal with.

He dressed once again in more suitable clothing...then armed himself. He would be going somewhere alone and he knew he had best be prepared for any occurrence. Walking to the door he opened it just a little to check that no-one was in the hallway, then slipped out of his room, closing the door quietly behind him.

Silently, keeping to the shadows, he moved through the palace until he came to the place he knew a friend of his now called home. He whispered her name from the shadows, knowing that she would be able to hear him. Sure enough, a tiny fairy with a worried expression flitted across the more open public area and into one of the smaller, less used passageways that led off from it.

'Sire!' she gasped, knowing full well what had happened to him. She was in the trusted circle and was always told the truth of every situation. 'You should be resting!' she said in concern. He looked dreadful. 'Please, Adien! Do not worry so!' he whispered, being careful not to draw any attention in their direction. 'I came here to ask for your help, little one,' he said, his expression one of utter desperation. She saw how much he obviously needed her and could not bring herself to chastise him further.

Fluttering closer to him, she lowered her own voice, though no-one would be able to hear her anyway. 'What is it, Nuada?' she asked, her voice filled with concern. 'What can I do to help you?' She couldn't imagine what it could be. 'I need to borrow something from you...if I may?' he half-whispered. 'Anything, Sire!' Adien replied, a look of surprise crossing her face, '...just name it and it is yours.'

'I have to go somewhere for a short while and I do not wish to be seen by those who are there,' Nuada whispered sadly. 'If I could borrow your Tear Charm crystal, I could slip in and out unnoticed and hopefully return before I am missed,' he finished. He looked exhausted, but the determination to do this was also plain to see.

'Very well,' said Adien with a nod. 'But only on one condition,' she added, frowning sternly. The fact that she was trying to look so severe very nearly brought a chuckle from the Prince, but he was just too tired. 'Name it, friend,' he said instead. 'Where you go, I go too! I will not let you go anywhere alone as you are!' Adien tried to look as fierce and determined as she could as she spoke. There was, of course, nothing she could have done to stop him going wherever he wanted, but the fact that she cared so much for his safety touched Nuada deeply. He was prepared to do this thing alone...but having Adien with him was not so bad. In fact, it may actually be a good idea...

'Very well,' he said with a gracious nod. '..as you wish, Lady Adien,' he added with a gentle smile. The tiny fairy gave a quick and nod smiled back. 'I shall fetch the crystal now!' she said before flitting off like a jet-propelled dragonfly. She returned only a short while later and held her hand out before the Prince, the tear-shaped crystal looking large in her hand, but being to Nuada just a tiny thing, as small as the drop of liquid it was named for. 'I will use it to cloak us both,' said Adien, 'but this will mean I need to be very close to you,' she added.'

Nuada smiled. 'Would you care to take your usual seat?' he asked, indicating his shoulder. Adien smiled back and flew over as he moved his hair aside for her, alighting gently before sitting down close to his neck. He heard her say the words to activate the crystal and Nuada noticed a slight shimmer in the air around him as it took effect. They were now totally invisible to every Fey as well as any human they may encounter.

Quietly, Nuada walked to another part of the palace. There was something else he wanted to take with him. After retrieving this, he made his exit through one of the smaller portals and after a quick scan of their surroundings, they left Bethmoora.

The Royal Guards were not even aware of his presence as he forced himself to walk once again to stand at the feet of the honey-coloured stone figure of his father. He had to do this. He had to be able to endure the emotional torment he felt every time he so much as thought of Balor let alone being so close to his remains. His presence at the upcoming funeral was of paramount importance to the stability of their people's confidence in him as a leader and the Royal Family as a whole.

Soundlessly, Nuada, with Adien on his shoulder, knelt before his father's body and reached out his hand to lay it gently upon the cold stone, tears coursing down his cheeks. Adien stayed silent but could not help but snuggle into his neck as his grief took him. Both their hearts belonged in a world long-gone and she felt an ever-growing bond of friendship between them...and the trust that Balor put in her all that long time ago seemed to be something his son was willing to share.

Nuada stayed like this for a good while, determined to put these feelings behind him so that he could finally move on and do what needed to be done for his people without his personal demons rearing their ugly heads to cause them all future problems. The past needed to stay in the past...the future was what mattered now.

The Prince had already returned to Bethmoora and was lying in his own bed by the time the Guards noticed the white rose that lay on Balor's lap, seemingly appearing out of thin air. Within a few seconds Nuada had fallen asleep...and for the first time in a long while he slept soundly, the dreadful images that had plagued his dreams finally relinquishing their steely hold on him.