Seven Reasons To Stay Alive

A/N: I feel awful, starting another story, especially when I have way too many. However, all of my favourite Edvy authors have done at least one highschool fic, and where am I? Left with my twisted non-AUs, a vampire fic and assorted oneshots. NO MORE! So, at midnight on Canada Day, I begin…a completely different high school fic!

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. If I did, Envy would flirt with Ed more.

Warning: Lots of swearing, drug references and sex…and extreme angst ^^

Summary: Straight-A, quiet, meek student Envy has absolutely no interest in life – he isn't in love with anyone, he doesn't care about marks and his friends are interested in other things – well, things in general. On the brink of suicide, Envy makes a discovery that turns his world inside-out, on its head and blows it up. And he's loving it.

For Potions for Foxes and indigo's ocean, my favourite Edvy authors!

Chapter 1

Envy

Escapist

"Envy, what is the answer to question four?" In a monotone, I give him the answer. "That's correct. Now, Rose, what is the answer to question five?"

I look down at my notebook and listen for the pink-and-brown-haired girl's answer. Of course, my answer's correct. I uncap my red pen, and add a perfectly uniform, regulated checkmark below the other three checkmarks. They are all identical.

I look up again. Mr. Marcoh is squinting at Riza now. "Winry, the answer for number six?"

"Sir, it's Riza." Her voice is smooth and perfect, the way I wish mine was. Her hair is blond, like mine, but instead of just letting it fall in straight lines around her face, Riza's is neatly pinned up. Winry wears it the same way, and when Mr. Marcoh forgets his glasses, he confuses them a lot.

The bell rings. Like an automaton, I rise and walk towards the door for next class, AP English with Ms. Sheska Thomas.

I sit down, next to an empty desk. The student – blond, like half the people in this school – that is supposed to sit there is absent. Except I saw him in homeroom. He is skipping again…How does he get straight A's when he is never here? I sigh and listen to Ms. Thomas without any real interest. A part of me cannot wait for the end of the day. Another part wants to stay at school forever, so I will not face my decision.

Forty-nine sleeping pills. I counted them in my head over and over again. Forty-nine…seven times seven…Seven Deadly Sins, my siblings and I times the seven reasons for death.

No friends.

No love.

The racking coughs of my sister Lust as she slowly dies.

The muffled sobs of twelve-year-old Wrath as Greed pumps into him mercilessly.

My mother's cackle as she reduces Sloth to tears again.

My father's military protocol – Brush your teeth, twenty-five push-ups, boy!

I have no interest in school.

"Oh dear," moans Ms. Thomas. "I forgot to get the worksheets from the photocopier. Um, Envy?" she asks meekly. "Can you go get them for me, please?" Her eyes tell me why she cannot go – the class cannot be left alone. Not this class.

I nod stiffly and make my way quietly to the library, past its dark oak doors, and into the photocopy room. I snatch Ms. Thomas's worksheets, and am about to walk out of the room, when a stifled moan grabs my attention.

I slowly ease open the door of the photocopy room. I can see Roy Mustang, the physics teacher, and a head of blonde hair. It could be anyone, including me, but then the blond turns and it is Edward Elric, the missing student, the student of the mysterious As. His hand is…His hand is down the teacher's pants, stroking his erection.

"Ah…Ed…"

Ed smirks, and pulls Mustang's pants and boxers down, freeing his straining erection. Mustang looks around and lowers his voice. "Not here! The photocopy room."

I do not realize until they begin to walk towards me that I realize they mean where I am hiding…and witnessed a student grope a teacher. A very willing teacher.

I dart behind the photocopier, clinging to the 30-odd pieces of paper for Ms. Thomas. My skinny frame fits, but I cannot peer around the corner to watch. I settle for listening.

"Mmm...I've waited all morning for this…" groans Mustang.

Ed laughs quietly. "You couldn't wait for lunch?"

"You – ah – don't go to class anyway…ah!" There is a wet sucking sound. "Ah…Ed…" Mustang pants, moans, and some minutes later, I hear a whispered scream of release.

"Mmhmm…you're tasty." Then Ed chuckles. "Again? You're insatiable."

"I want you, Ed…show me that ass…oh yeah." Ed's moans serve as a harmony to Mustang's dirty talk and the steady backbeat of thud, thud, thud…

I squeeze my eyes shut as a memory of one time when I walked in on Greed and Wrath.

"I-It hurts…" Wrath sobs into the pillow. Greed crouches above him, whispering dirty words into the boy's ear.

"You're so tight…I'm gonna cum inside you, you dirty boy, and you like it, don't you? You like it when big brother cums inside of you, and you like it when I fuck you hard…"

"R-Roy!" "Ed!" Both teacher and student cum at the same time, surprisingly soon – they must both have been bottled up for a while. This was not the first time though, I could tell. They leave, and only a full five minutes after I hear the door slam do I crawl out and run back to Ms. Thomas's class.

I have been gone for more than half an hour, but Ms. Thomas says nothing, just asks me to hand them out. I do so, praying that none of these students are observant enough to notice my flush or how my heart is pounding like an African tribal drum.

Five minutes later, the bell rings for lunch. I practically dash to the cafeteria, and sit down at the first empty seat I find.

With a gulp, I realize that I am sitting across from a flushed, slightly dishevelled Edward Elric. He grins lopsidedly at me. "Hey."

I merely open my lunchbox and remove the usual smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel. Ed opens his and groans.

"Great, Al packed me curry again. I swear, I don't know why he made two pots for three people…" He stares at my lunch longingly. "Hey, uh…Envy, right?"

I nod mutely, tense at being so close to a boy I just witnessed having sex with a teacher.

"Wanna swap?"

I hesitate, then push my smoked salmon bagel towards him and accept the curry.

"Watch out, it's his super-hot special." After some thought, Ed also hands me his bottle of water.

I am going to kill myself tonight, I long to tell him, anybody. I decide to enjoy my last meal.

Al's curry – I suppose Al to be Edward's brother – is surprisingly good, but also very hot. Ed laughs at my red face after the first spoonful. I learn to take small spoonfuls at a time, intermingled with gulps of water.

I cannot help but stare at Ed. I have learned so many things about him in the last hour. Where he goes when he skips class, the fact that he is gay, that he is in a sexual relationship with Mustang…Edward Elric was the kind of cocky, smart athlete that no one ever found fault with, and had girls hanging off of him.

I hated him, but had never spoken a word to him. Now here I am, staring at him, thinking I know your secret.

He notices me staring, gives me an odd look but says nothing. He and his friends disperse, and he sends a lust-filled glance Mustang's way. I am the only one who notices. The rest of the day passes normally, and the bell rings for dismissal sooner than I could have ever imagined.

I return home, walking only three blocks before making it back to our three-storey house. No one else is home yet, and I thank the God I don't believe in.

I make a beeline for my room, and pull the canister of sleeping pills out from under my mattress. I count them again, and although I had decided it would be tonight, the taste of the curry lingers in my mouth, sparking every taste cell, used to smoked salmon and cream cheese, every day, and nothing else. I do not eat dinner, because no one makes it.

The taste of the curry refuses to go away, no matter how many cups of water I drink or how many times I brush my teeth. I cannot die with that spice lingering in my mouth.

I push the pills back under my mattress and count them in my head.

…one, two, three, four…

A/N: Yikes, how's that for a heavy beginning? Yes, I like my emo, non-green-haired Envy. He'll be like that for a while. I have no promises for when I'll update, but I'm concentrating on finishing Brother, and typing up more of The Vampire and the Dragon Lord. It depends on what my readers-and-occasionally-reviewers want. What d'you want – Seven Reasons, Vampire/Dragon Lord or Brother?