Title: Aftermath

Author: tsumi_amethyst

Pairing/Fandom: Yoh x Amidamaru, Amidamaru x Mosuke (if you squint, later chapters). Shaman King.

Chapter: One/?

Summary: The Shaman Fights have been taking their toll on every participant. The ever-loyal Amidamaru offers something different to help Yoh unwind and recuperate...

Author's Notes: I haven't written for Shaman King for a good few years and I decided to revisit my favourite pairing of the series that unfortunately doesn't get the attention it deserves – Yoh x Amidamaru! I will warn you, this fic contains yaoi. If this offends you, then please don't proceed any further or message me with abuse about how yaoi is wrong, I'm ruining the series, etc. It's petty and just demonstrates your immaturity. For those of you who are left, welcome and enjoy...

The one comfort that Yoh could take from his soreness and aching muscles was that his friends were in equally bad shape, the state that defined 'worse for wear.' Not that it should be a comfort, he contemplated lazily, as he shuffled his way to the nearest chair in the surprisingly quiet restaurant in the Patch Village and fell into it; he wouldn't and shouldn't wish his raw muscles, stinging wounds and stiffness on anyone. But as the old saying goes, he thought thickly as his teammates eventually caught up to him, a problem shared is a problem halved.

"Pitiful. Absolutely pitiful." Anna remarked, demonstrating her ease of movement by stretching and walking to the far end of the table, ignoring the slumped figures to her side. "Just how will you cope when the competition gets tougher in the next round, if you keep letting some half-wits destroy you?"

Yoh would have rolled his eyes, had he the energy to do so. He espied his spirit guardian regarding him sympathetically, and managed a weak smile, which was cut short abruptly by a large yawn. All of the training demanded from the Shaman Fight as requisite was taking its toll on him, and doubly so now that his father was in the village and had taken it upon himself to provide gruelling training practises when there were no fights to be had.

"Are you sure you can stay awake throughout dinner, Yoh-dono? I'm certain nobody would mind if you excused yourself this once," Amidamaru suggested gently, settling close to the shaman so that they would not be overheard by their weary companions.

Due to the recent training sessions heightening his Shamanic powers, Yoh could swear he almost caught the scent of the samurai in that moment, and he turned his head to check he wasn't hallucinating when his neck cracked in protest. He groaned and kept his head flat on the table, hesitant to move ever again, determinedly ignoring the extended rant by Anna about their lack of physical fitness and how she found it hilarious that they even considered themselves a threat to Hao...

"I could do with a rest," Yoh conceded, and Amidamaru's heart leapt with joy, though his face remained as passive as ever – "But... I need my dinner too. It will help me heal quicker." Yoh fixed his eyes on his spirit guardian, the usual lustre that signified merriment bereft, and Amidamaru frowned in concern. Noticing, Yoh managed a weak smile that somewhat restored the usual cheerfulness. "It's for the best, for now."

Amidamaru nodded, and left his master's side to gaze into what others may assume was nothingness, though Yoh was aware that the samurai was intently observing their surroundings for any signs of Hao or one of his many minions. He swallowed, knowing that the perceptive warrior had caught the hint of worry that had laced Yoh's words, though this had been unintentional.

Of late, Amidamaru had been offering more than his usual array of services to his young master. Since their arrival in the Patch Village some six weeks ago, Yoh had taken to speaking to the samurai in his room before drifting off to sleep, and it was two nights ago when things changed. Yoh pillowed his head on his arms as he silently regarded the turned back of his spirit ally, only half-listening to the heated discussion about what would be best for dinner that evening. Though he didn't know if he even wanted to, he cast his mind back to two nights prior, trying to plod his way through his memories and feelings as he did so, trying to pinpoint at which stage things spiralled from his control and left him shivering...

It was a particularly humid evening, and Yoh had opened both of his windows to try and alleviate his discomfort, to no avail. He fidgeted with his clothes, debating what to do with them – They were only worsening his restlessness, after all. He cast his eyes to the samurai across the room, whose eyes were gazing out of the open windows protectively. Certain that baring his chest at the very least would harm no one, Yoh quickly discarded his loose t-shirt, sitting in just his bottoms for the evening.

Though Amidamaru had undoubtedly noticed Yoh's movements, he did nothing outwardly to suggest that he had acknowledged it. He simply sat there observing the Village below in quiet, the occasional sound of Shamans making their way back to their houses drifting to his ears in a hushed murmur, or chatter amongst restless ghosts interrupting the serene atmosphere of the evening. Yoh was unsure of what to say, if anything at all, when the warrior spoke, disturbing the sounds from the streets below.

"Are you in pain tonight, Yoh-dono?"

Yoh nodded. That day had marked his team's fourth Shaman battle, and it had been brutal. Their enemies had been quick, and swiftly worked at diminishing the mana of Yoh, Ryu and Faust. At one point, all three of their opponents had charged Yoh simultaneously, and as he was blocking an attack, another came to knock him back, into the stone barriers that encircled the main arena, and the teen cried out in pain, certain for a moment he would need to call for a medic and leave Faust and Ryu to fight alone. Yet a fortunate surge of mana guided his feet, and in a flash the cowards who had unfairly targeted him were on the floor, their mana depleted. But as soon as Silva announced Team Asakura's victory, Yoh fell back to the sandy ground of the arena, physically spent, and a medic was summoned; but his work had done little to alleviate the pain in his back and arms from parrying and striking with the heavy Harusame.

Amidamaru gave him a glance, and with one last look outside to make sure things were safe, he approached the bed, eyes sweeping over the half-naked form of the shaman before him. "Where does it hurt?" He asked, eyes lingering over various discoloured bruises and bandages before slowly reaching the eyes of his lord. His expression was unreadable, something that would have concerned the young Shaman should he have been less fatigued.

"My back, mostly," Yoh said, groaning as he moved to lie on his stomach as he had been doing for the last few nights. Whenever Yoh had been in pain, Amidamaru had an array of tactics to ease or remove it completely, whether it was with a massage or something else.

He sensed rather than saw Amidamaru move to the bed, and waited patiently. It was difficult to see what the spirit was doing, given that he was just that – an immaterial being of the world, something that should not interact with the physical. So there was no sinking of the bed from his weight, and no rustling of clothes as he settled down – Just the hands that bore down on his back after a moment or two, eliciting a quiet groan from the shaman as his pain flared.

"It really hurts tonight," Yoh bit out, when he felt the samurai pause in concern. He remembered the sickening crack of bones as he smacked into the wall earlier, and how he was unable to move from the arena's infirmary an hour even after the fight's conclusion and some heavy doses of pain killers later. He shook his head and groaned again at the spirit's hesitation.

Without speaking a word, Amidamaru unified with Yoh, the procedure having taken place so many times before that it required no effort on Yoh's part. He felt himself 'fade' into the depths of his mind, still aware of what was happening before and around him while at the same time feeling disconnected, his limbs controlled by Amidamaru's presence.

The will of the warrior had instilled within Amidamaru the best quality a samurai could have at his disposal – stoicism. His voice cut smoothly through Yoh's consciousness, yet seemed to be drifting towards him from afar – Such was the process of spirit integration.

"Relax... Forget your pain... You can block it out... You can forget your pain..." The words swam in Yoh's mind like a mantra, and as he listened to the words of his spirit familiar through the hazy connection that denoted spirit unity, he felt the pain ebbing away. He trusted the voice, and the words of Amidamaru; he decided that his pain was not so great, that he had in fact felt worse, and that what did not kill would only strengthen him.

From somewhere in the forefront of his mind, Yoh felt a surge of happiness – Amidamaru was smiling. Gloating, almost, at his ability to ease pain in his master's tired body through will alone. He retreated from Yoh's body again, murmuring, "Hold on to that thought, Yoh-dono," His hands returned to Yoh's back, this time allowed to give the massage to fully dispel the pain, and Yoh remained somewhat disconnected with reality as the exhaustion of a day's fighting caught up with him. He sighed as the calloused hands – When had he begun to realise Amidamaru's hands had such a texture, anyway? – Rubbed and caressed his back all over, paying particular attention to the lower back, where he had struck the stone fencing.

It felt good, though it seemed to be draining more and more energy from the young shaman. He suppressed a yawn, not quite wanting it to end yet, but his guardian ghost chuckled at the sound. "Not yet..." He whispered, teasingly. His hands continued to do their delicious work, the touch becoming light and almost ticklish. Yoh shivered and laughed softly, but did not flinch away from the touch.

Encouraged by his liege's response, Amidamaru allowed his fingertips to continue their gentle ministrations, the need he had been ignoring for months resurfacing as he saw his master shudder.

Firstly, there had been fondness – The kind that you have when you are best friends with somebody and you are excited to see them. Then, that excitement turned to anxiousness for the boy's immediate safety with a disregard for his own, and for the lives' of those who challenged Yoh. It was then that the warrior recognised his fondness and concern for what it was – He had fallen for the young shaman, hard.

Initially, Amidamaru had misgivings about his feelings, and tried to dismiss them as intense appreciation for all that Yoh had done for him. But upon fighting Eliza and Faust in the qualifying rounds of the Shaman Tournament, he saw something of himself in the demented doctor. He saw an intense longing for something that had once been lost a long, long time ago, and the stubborn will of iron to keep the fires of hope and love alive. That personal mirror of himself shook the samurai, and he finally accepted what he felt for what it was, though remained undecided as to what he should do. Faust and Eliza themselves were a testament to the plausibility of a relationship between a spirit and a living person, but what about Yoh? Would he feel the same way? And even if he did, there was Anna to think about. She could easily use her powers to banish or seal away the samurai if she saw him as a threat to her and Yoh's future together, and Amidamaru knew that she would not hesitate for one moment, and he would be lost and resentful once more, possibly for eternity this time. And the thought of living without Yoh was enough to deter him from doing just about anything, irrespective of the potential but, he admitted, unlikely benefits. So the samurai remained content in the knowledge that he would provide protection and support for the young shaman, and would dutifully follow wherever Yoh took him.

Yet these last six weeks in the village had brought him and Yoh closer together, and with his hands on his naked back, the samurai's restraint was being tested. He looked to the ceiling and prayed to whatever Gods were listening that they would cease this torture, but it seemed as if they were intent on mocking him today, as Yoh turned.

"Something wrong, Amidamaru?" Even in his drained state, Yoh could see the tortured look in Amidamaru's eyes, a look of longing that made his stomach move, though he couldn't understand why. More awake now, he turned around so he wasn't straining himself. He noticed the sharp gasp from the spirit, fooled almost for a moment that he was still alive. "Amidamaru?"

The spirit froze, his consciousness mocking him. A samurai who ventured into countless battles from a young age was too afraid to face his own master, and his own feelings – He deserved the chastising of his inner voice, Amidamaru realised, shame replacing the nervousness. He wondered what Mosuke would say if he could see him now, and shook his head slightly, refuting the sting of his friend's imaginary exasperation.

Yoh was ready to ask again what the matter was, when Amidamaru put a finger on his lips, silencing the shaman from contact alone. His chocolate coloured eyes asked a thousand questions, but he felt an ominous chill at the thought of voicing them, and he shivered again. He did nothing, didn't even move when Amidamaru lowered his lips to his own, replacing the finger with a gentle kiss, eyes fluttering shut to avoid the shocked look Yoh was almost certainly giving him. By intuition, his hands rested on Yoh's shoulders, giving enough pressure to warn him not to pull away.

And Yoh didn't even try. In fact, all he did until Amidamaru ended the kiss was stare, trying to process what was happening and the subsequent thoughts that were racing through his mind. He knew the gentle touch was not meaning to coax, almost as if he wasn't expecting a response, and that cast confusion into the maelstrom of emotions that Yoh was already feeling. If gauging a response wasn't the reason for this, then what was the point in doing it at all? He was clearly missing something, and fully intended to voice his thoughts when Amidamaru withdrew, ending the kiss, yet when it was actually over, it seemed that he'd forgotten how to speak. He stared mutely at the samurai, silently asking for an explanation for the forwardness.

But when it came down to it, neither could quite find the words to voice what they needed to. Yoh just continued his bemused gaze, unable to flinch away or escape even when a hand left his shoulder and stroked the hair from his eyes. Amidamaru's eyes were more unreadable than before, though the previous tension was notably absent. The silence seemed to drag forever, and moment by moment the samurai appeared to retreat into himself more, feeling that he should voice an apology of some sort while at the same time not at all wanting to, because now the deceit was over. No longer did he need to mask what he felt, and no more did his consciousness mock him. And for this, he felt triumphant.

The hand stroking away Yoh's unruly hair dropped to the teen's chest, yet the whimper this elicited made Amidamaru flinch, hand immediately snapping back to his side.

All at once the sensation of loss gushed through Amidamaru's body, and he bowed his head in shame and in acknowledgement of Yoh's silent rejection. He stood, uncertain now of where to put himself, the only scrap of pride that remained uncrushed within him was that he had, in his own way, confessed how he felt.

"I am no coward," Said Amidamaru, noting how neither of them had dared to raise their eyes since he had begun to speak. "And that is why I felt the need to do this, Yoh-dono." He hesitated, on the brink of apologising, but the realisation that this would be deceitful to his liege struck him deeply, his grasp of self-respect slackening. Why apologise, he thought dully, when he wasn't sorry for what he had done? The brief, yet intimate contact with the Shaman had him wanting more, but judging from the pained and confused look on Yoh's face, it seemed highly unlikely that he would see the samurai in the same way again, let alone as something more than a friend. And it was for that reaction which would surely instigate the imminent degeneration of their friendship that he was sorry.

Yoh maintained the silence, still unsure of what he should be saying or doing. He thought he should be offering the spirit some comfort, but he was at a loss for words. Though the kiss had been brief and unintrusive, it had been his first – The fear that Anna had her army of ghosts perpetually stalking and watching Yoh prevented him from experiencing anything like that before – And that, he said to himself, was why he was obsessing over it like this. He looked up, finally ready to respond to what had just transpired, but Amidamaru had left, and Yoh frowned in loss.

He knew that the samurai had not gone far; he was most probably settling on the roof to both brood and meditate as he sat there, gawking at empty space. Yoh knew that he should pursue what this all meant and just what was expected of him as a consequence, but instead he let himself fall on his side, curled on his bed, so deep in thought that he was unable to drift off to sleep, in spite of his fatigue. He lay there and let the moments replay themselves in his mind as he tried to process just where it had all come from, and by the time he had come to the sensible conclusion that only by asking Amidamaru directly would he know the truth, the sun was rising, and he groaned quietly, accepting that his beloved Mistress, sleep, had deserted him for the night. He pulled himself out of bed with a sigh, dressed himself, and went downstairs to prepare and make breakfast...

"Earth to Yoh!"

Chocolate-coloured eyes regained their focus on Manta's third attempt to gain his attention, and Yoh gave his short friend an apologetic smile as compensation for his lack of awareness.

"Hurry up and order, will you? I'm so hungry I feel like crawling up the walls!"

Smiling at the mental image that induced, and ignoring Anna's comment of "Like you're even strong enough to hold your own body weight, Shorty," Yoh turned to the patient yet exasperated Silva, who was acting as a waiter-cum-chef that evening, and ordered his usual. Thankful that soon he would be filled to bursting, his strength slowly returning to him as he digested the food, Yoh returned his head to its usual resting place of the table, pretending not to hear Manta chide him for it. His eyes fixed momentarily with the samurai's, and his insides wriggled unpleasantly (was it really, though?) at the realisation he was being watched. It struck him so fiercely that for a moment he felt smothered, unable to breathe, and he closed his eyes, yet remained unable to rid himself of the paranoia that he was still being watched. Self-consciously he picked at his food when it arrived, the burning feel of Amidamaru's eyes focused on him causing him serious discomfort. He was about to ask his guardian to desist when a familiar voice interrupted the quiet friends.

"I wouldn't be eating too many Cheeseburgers if I were you, Yoh." It was Hao. He sauntered over to the table, decidedly unthreatened by the drawing of swords and other spirit mediums from around the table at his approach. His eyes focused solely on his twin, wearing a smile that scarily resembled Yoh's own, confirming that he was completely at ease, not at all troubled by the glares of contempt he was receiving.

"I saw you in your fight earlier. Frankly, I was rather disappointed." His smile widened, turning to face Mikihisa, who had been watching the exchange from the branches of a nearby tree. "I thought your special training regime was supposed to help avoid such embarrassing displays?" Hao laughed at his father's growl, tutting disapprovingly, "I wouldn't waste your time, if I were you. Surely by now you realise that Yoh will never be strong enough to defeat me?" With another smirk, he turned back to face his brother, who by now had sat up straight, pain and dinner forgotten as he focused on Hao, hand tightly gripping the hilt of Harusame. Amidamaru lingered at his shoulder, prepared to hurl his spirit energy into the sword at any given moment.

"What do you want?" Yoh hissed, his eyes narrowed. Why did his brother choose to taunt him? Of course, Yoh recognised that he still had a long way to go in terms of his training, but he had come far...

Hao inhaled heavily through his nose. "Bloodlust! Do you smell it, Opacho?" With another laugh, he turned and left the group, having had his fun for the time being. He couldn't help, however, but stop underneath the tree and stare directly at his father, as if he could see what lay beneath the mask which concealed his burns from the world. He smirked again. "Could you help me with my training, Daddy?" With that final taunt earning him not only an attack from the enraged Mikihisa – Which, of course, missed – But also a yelp from passers-by and a startled shout from Silva, ordering that the damage caused by the failed attack be paid for, Hao left the scene, and finally Team the Ren and Team Funbari Onsen relaxed.

Yoh sighed, releasing his grip on Harusame, and eyed his plate of half-eaten food, suddenly not wanting it anymore. He prodded the stone cold food as he watched Silva race over to the site of damage to ensure nobody was injured, apologising profusely. He scanned the tree above for Mikihisa, but at the prospect of having to pay for the small, singed crater in the sidewalk, he had escaped. The Officiator sighed, returning to the restaurant sullenly, having half the mind to ignore Anna's demands that her food be reheated or replaced before she refused payment. He busied himself with that, and Yoh sighed, accepting his reheated food when it arrived with a smile, though he drew no joy from the food this time around, his mind clearly elsewhere.

"I was not expecting him to appear like that." Amidamaru commented, seemingly to nobody, but he knew that at the very least, Yoh was listening to him. "I am sorry, Yoh-dono, for-"

"You were no less vigilant than you normally were, so there's no need to apologise," Yoh said firmly, chewing his food thoughtfully, not really tasting it. He sensed rather than saw Amidamaru recoil at the harshness of his tone, and he sighed again, dropping his hands to the table in a loud clatter, burger now completely forgotten about as he raked his hands irritably through his hair.

"I'm sorry, alright? I'm just..." What, Yoh thought, what can I say as a credible excuse for being short with him when he had no real reason? He ran through the various scenarios in his mind, the things he could say and Amidamaru's subsequent response.

'I'm just pissed off at the thought that Hao is actually right and I needed someone to take that out on. My bad.'

'I'm just really not sure how to address you anymore, or what you want from me after that kiss.'

'I'm just really unsure what I want right now, and when I think that it's you and your mouth and your arms and your everything else, I get snappy. Sorry about that.'

Though he could go on like this all night, Yoh drew himself back to the present, his stomach dropping again to see concern now etched on Amidamaru's features. He offered a weak smile to the samurai. "... I'm just tired. I'm sorry, Amidamaru," He managed at length, glad to see the warrior relieved somewhat by his response.

"Maybe you should get an early night, Yoh-dono. You look exhausted and you know that tomorrow, Mikihisa-sama will only intensify your training." His voice was reassuring, his blue eyes warm and thoughtful for the condition of the young shaman, and what he said made sense. Yoh nodded in agreement, trying not to think of the underlying motives to Amidamaru's suggestions as he cleared his throat and banged on the table again to gain the attention of his friends. He quickly announced his departure, and rejected the offers of being accompanied home and denied that he was ill. With a smile he left the table, trying not to limp as he walked away, suddenly becoming deaf to Manta's cries of where his money was for his meal.

The journey to their temporary home passed in silence, with Amidamaru following his master slowly to observe their surroundings, ensuring that Hao had left the area and returned to his clearing in the woods for the night. He kept glancing back at Yoh, however, to make sure that he was alright, and to wonder what he thought of him after their kiss two nights ago. The possibility that Yoh's silence about the incident indicated his lack of interest had plagued Amidamaru's mind ever since it happened, and such negative thoughts were becoming harder to dispel as time passed. With a heavy heart, Amidamaru realised that he needed to accept that Yoh simply wasn't interested in him in that way. As much as he didn't want it to be true, the pessimistic samurai – No, he thought, not pessimistic, realist – Could see that Yoh's silence concerning the matter was as good as any rejection. This self-confession settled like an iron weight in his heart, and he sighed. The exhalation was not missed by his young master, though he chose not to address it. He understood, innately, what was on the samurai's mind. His steps became heavier as they eventually reached the door to their dusty accommodation, stumbling slightly from his weariness, and from the acceptance that they would be unable to avoid discussing just what they were, or weren't after their 'encounter.'

Yoh threw himself into a chair around a makeshift table – The end of a ping pong table, to be precise – And buried his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes tiredly, aware again of his spirit's eyes on him. He reopened his eyes and offered the samurai a shaky smile.

"Guess we need to talk, huh?"