AN: I've been gone from for a while. I wrote this a while ago, but I thought I'd post it now. Review please?

Background info: This song is by Iron and Wine. It is called Trapeze Swinger. I didn't use the entire song, it was too long for fanfic. I just chose lines from it. If you want to listen to it:

www [dot] youtube [dot] com [slash] watch?v=b8×9g2YUoAw

This is, of course, H/A (right, Caryn? ). However, it's not so much romantic as about their friendship. It can be seen either way, of course, but it doesn't have to be romantic at all.
It's kind of cheesy, but it was an exam indulgence gift towards myself. I get to write badfic at exam time.

Sorry for butchering the song.

Trapeze Swinger

I.

Someone caught us in the kitchen with maps, a mountain range, a piggy bank, a vision to remove dimension…

She remembers when she had ideals.

She still does, she supposes, but she fights for them with a lot less fevour.

Once the LEP had started to track her visits above ground her game had been up. When they realized that she was visiting the mud boy, she received a suspension. The papers had ranted and raved about the incapability of females. So she had decided to focus on one set of change at a time, because no matter how often she told them that humans weren't that bad, they were still public enemy number one.

She wasn't a regular woman, allowed to indulge in regular relationships. She was the leader of her cause, and she had to preserve her image. If she was going to be taken seriously as a woman, then she would have to make sure that she was the perfect cop.

That meant no aboveground visits.

The only problem was, she never really considered it a permanent arrangement.

II.

I heard from someone you're still pretty.

You haven't contacted Holly in years.

You both had decided that it was better.

But you still exchange emails with Foaly. It allows you a little window into her life.

She hasn't changed since you last set eyes on her. Not at first glance, at least. Her eyes have the barest hint of lines, and her smile comes a lot less easily. But she's still Holly. And your heart aches when you see it. You've changed so much. It isn't easy, but it is good. You know that she's still Holly. She isn't subjected so easily to this curse called age.

Foaly shakes his head at you and smiles slightly. He knows death, and he understands it. His passwords are obvious, he rarely changes them. You know from experience that typing one word allows you access to everything. Beetroot.

And then he went on to say that the pearly gates had some eloquent graffiti.

III.

And when the morning came, I was ashamed, only now it seems so silly.

His laughter runs through the room, bouncing violently off of the walls. His eyes are red, his nose is stuffed, and he takes big, gasping breaths between hysterical giggles.

His chest feels constricted. His head aches. He just finds it ironic.

The guilt that once plagued his mind had been long vanquised by years of friendship and caring. Now, looking back, he can hardly remember having it.

He appreciates irony, and that's why he laughs. Because never, ever, would he expect her to be the one hurting him.

The note in his hand makes a crackling sound ans he crumples it into a little ball. He shuts his eyes as tightly as possible in an attempt to calm himself.

The note said enough, explaining why she wasn't going to see him again, and why she had to leave. He understood it. It was fair enough, she had a hard enough life without him complicating it.

But she was his first friend, and she was his dearest. He never saw it coming.

He takes a deep breath and wipes his eyes, trying to hold in his anger and sadness. Within seconds he is calm and composed.

He had spent so much time repairing their friendship, making up for the wrongs he'd done, and still it ended.

It was so ironic.

IV.

In the window of the tallest tower.

Holly had rescued him.

Artemis had kidnapped her, and she had saved him.

There's a hole in his chest where her presence should be. She was his closest friend, his better half.

Holly was the catalyst in his drastic transformation.

When she is gone, Artemis feels like he should revert back to his original self. Like, without her there he isn't the Artemis that she made. He's the Artemis that she found and brought to the light.

He's afraid of himself. If he doesn't think about who he used to be then it's a lot easier.

But if, for a second, he remembers, it is all too horrifying.

Artemis needs her to remind him of what he could be.

With words like Lost and Found, and Don't Look Down, and Someone Save Temptation.

V

A fleeting chance to see a trapeze swing as high as any saviour.

He hopes that she is proud of him.

He has become a regular humanitarian. He has done research that benefits millions. He donates to charities regularly. And any illicit activity is done against major banks that rob their clients.

He's a public hero. He's in the papers and on the news. Everyone on earth has heard of him. So hopefully, everyone under the earth has heard of him as well.

He hopes that she is impressed. But she knows him well enough to realize that he's just showing off.

VI

Who the hell can see forever?

The skin on her hands splits, and a little drop of blood finds its way out. Her back aches and strains with the effort of bending over, and her eyes water. She licks her lips, only to find them even drier.

The edge of the cot is slammed forcefully into the concrete. The hard floor gives way a little, and a small splinter of grey stone breaks free. The acorn presses firmly against her hand. It is her ticket to freedom, and she is careful not to crush it as she grabs onto the bed leg again.

Finally the hole is big enough to fit the tiny seed in. She does so quickly, her entire body shaking with fear and rage.

She stands up and looks around, staring at the camera directly. This Artemis Fowl would pay for what he's done.

She's never hated anyone more in her life. How could anyone be so cruel? And he was just a mavolent little boy, not even at puberty.

She would kill him. Or, at the very least, maim him. She just wished that she wouldn't have to be in such close proximity with him. Maiming usually required some for of physical contact.

She hated him so much that she shuddered at the thought of even touching him.

Oh, he would pay for this. He would never forget the day that he crossed Holly Short.

VII

The Trapeze act was wonderful but never meant to last.

When they had parted he had never expected it to be for the last time.

It just seemed like something that they'd say. A good bye had never lasted this long.

He hadn't seen her in years. Each day he thinks about it, half-expecting them to get swept up in the whirl of another adventure. He didn't think that their lives would just fade out.

He tries to hold on to the time that passes, but he can never summon the energy to contact her. He fears so many things; rejection, love, death, retribution for his past crimes. Too much pain would result from any attempt to rekindle a relationship.

Maybe their time was over. It had been spectacular, but now it was done. He should just accept this.

But he can't. He finds himself sitting at his desk, lost in thought, recalling how it had been. He reminisces with his friends and family; often times he does nothing else.

Why won't he let go?

VIII

Please, remember me, finally…

She looks at his grave and smiles a little.

As if she could forget.