Mandy: Whoooohoo! My first Tokyo Mew Mew fanfiction; well, actually, my first was when I was in 7th grade, a Tokyo Mew Mew/W.i.t.c.h. cross, but that didn't work out too well. I was a horrible writer back then. I'm better now!

Kish: Whatever you say… -turns into a quiche-

Mandy: This is special to me, because Tokyo Mew Mew was the first manga I had ever read (you know, they're backwards and everything, so I thought they were so cool). So if there are flames, I'm going to get pissed.

Pie: Mandy owns absolutely nothing of Tokyo Mew Mew except herself. But she wants to own Kish, because his actual English name should've been Quiche, and quiche tastes good… -throws cards in trash- I can't believe I just read that.

Mandy: Please enjoy!

Chapter One: A Blackmailing and Distracting Character Appears!

"Hey, are you alright?" I heard a voice ask. I opened my eyes, images swirling in front of me. "How many fingers am I holding up?" I took hold of my head, trying to stop the spinning enough to concentrated on her question.

"Seven," I guessed, the hands going around in circles. Slowly, the world came into focus. "Oh, it's two!" I stared at the girl in front of me, dressed in a red maid costume, her hair a few shades lighter than the costume. She had grey eyes. She looked familiar, for some reason…

"What happened? You, like, fell from the sky!" She exclaimed. I glanced around to find myself surrounded by four other girls in costumes identical to this girl's, except in different colors: blue, green, yellow, and purple. Their hair matched their clothes except in shade. Who would dye their hair those kinds of colors?

"I… I did?" I said, astounded. I sat up straighter in my chair, "I-I'm sorry!"

"Whoa, what are you apologizin' for?" The short, yellow-haired girl asked, hands on hips, "It's not your fault you fell from the sky or anything, is it?"

"I guess not…" I mumbled, rubbing the back of my head. I looked at them out of the corner of my eye. "You guys are either cosplaying, or you're Mew Mews." They all froze, and the red-haired one covered my mouth, putting a finger to her lips. I nodded, and they sighed, relieved. The red-haired one let me go. "So are your names the English versions, or the Japanese?" I was kind of tired of labeling all of them by color, like they were Power Rangers or something.

"I don't know what you mean… but my name's Ichigo." The Tokyo Mew Mew leader answered.

"Oh, Japanese, ok. So then there's Mint, Lettuce, Pudding, and Zakuro." I pointed to them as I called them by name, "Also, Ryou and Keiichiro, and then of course there's Masha." They all stared at me incredulously. "And there's the Cyniclons: Kish, Pie, and Tart. Those three are the most interesting."

"How did you know all that?" Lettuce wondered out loud. "Are you… an alien?"

I blinked at her, and then laughed loudly. Luckily, it seemed Café Mew Mew was closed, so I wouldn't look like a freak. "Me? An alien? I wish!"

"Then how did you know that, huh?" Ichigo asked, poking a finger in my face.

"My theory is that I'm from another universe. It's the only thing that makes sense."

"That's what we think, too," A voice said from behind me. I turned to see Ryou, followed by Keiichiro, "Well, Keiichiro, I guess the experiment worked after all." I jumped up, getting into his face, pissed.

"What d'ya mean by that?! I fell from the f―n' sky! I could've died from your stupid experiment!" I shouted at him, releasing my steam.

"Oh, speaking of experiment…" Keiichiro said, attracting our attention, "We've accidently released more DNA, probably causing another Mew Mew to form."

All of our jaws dropped, except Ryou's. "Eh?!" The Mew Mews and I chorused, "A sixth Mew Mew?!"

"What kind of DNA was released? Was it a white tiger? Or an endangered snake? Or-" Pudding continued to ask what kind of Red Data animal DNA it was, even listing the panda bear.

"I'm afraid it isn't an animal like you think it is, girls," Ryou cut off Pudding before she went into super hyper mode. "It was the DNA of a Cyniclon – Kish's DNA, in fact."

"What?!" Ichigo cried, "So you mean there's some poor girl out there with that slime ball alien's DNA in her?! Oh, gross!"

"Ichigo, we can't abandon a fellow Mew Mew just because she's got alien DNA," Lettuce said wisely, "If we did that, we might as well just disband all of Tokyo Mew Mew!"

"I can help!" I proclaimed to them suddenly. They all looked at me like I was crazy. "Well, there are things I can't tell you outright, but I can give you hints, tips, and advice. For example, I can help give you hints as to the Blue Knight's identity…" Ichigo ran up to me, clutching my shoulders, looking me straight in the eye.

"You can?" I nodded. "So? Who is it?"

"Someone you're close to, Ichigo," I said, thinking, "Ah… if I told you more, I think it would be a dead giveaway," I smiled at her sad face as she let go of me, "But I can help you eliminate or narrow down your guesses. You only need to ask."

"Is it Ryou? Did he lie to me? Is he the Blue Knight?" Pudding questioned, tugging on my black t-shirt.

"Nope. It's definitely not Ryou. Although Ichigo might have thought so at first, it's not him."

"I told you guys." Ryou said.

"Who else could be the Blue Knight, then?" Pudding asked, more to herself than to the others, "Do we know any other blond-haired, blue-eyed hot-" Mint covered her mouth before she could finish her statement. I smirked.

"If you keep searching with that in mind, you'll never find him." I replied, shrugging. I felt so evil for not telling them straight out, but it would be better for the Mew Mews to find out on their own.

"Do you mean-?" Ichigo began to ask, but Masha suddenly appeared.

"Alien alert! Alien alert!" The little robot shouted, "This way! This way!" He floated toward the door.

"Alright. C'mon, girls!" Ichigo made a sweeping gesture for the Mew Mews to follow (like they needed one, but hey, they're superheroes; they need to feel important, especially the leader). "Ryou, Keiichiro, can you look after, uh…" She looked at me helplessly, not knowing my name.

"Nuh-uh, I'm not staying here. I'm going with you guys." I demanded, not allowing "no" for an answer.

"But-"

"If you don't, I'll tell Masaya you're a Mew Mew." I blackmailed quickly, "Or I can just as easily find a way to embarrass you. I know weaknesses…"

"Ok, but you can't get in our way," Ichigo replied, sweat-dropping. I grinned, nodding.

"I'm sure you'll find me useful!"

"Be careful, though… whatever your name is," Ryou finished anticlimactically.

"I will be!" I chased after the Mew Mews, who transformed already. It didn't take long to find the Cyniclons. They were in the park near Café Mew Mew, probably with some trap in mind. A large dog monster loomed over us, saliva dripping from its mouth. Its large, sharp teeth crooked into a growl as it glared at us with ferocious yellow eyes. It looked as a dog monster should: big, scary, and with colors that were not found on the original animal, just to make it look totally awesome, which it was.

"Hello, little kitty," Kish said, appearing out of nowhere, "Like my new Krimea Animal?

"I thought dogs took a bite out of crime?" I wondered out loud. Kish saw me, smirking.

"Oh, but I'd like to take a bite out of you, sweetie pie," The green-haired Cyniclon remarked.

"Oh, wow, a perverted alien. Who would've ever guessed?" I said in a mocking tone, "It's almost like I'm writing a fanfiction that's rated T for Triple the puns."

"Anyways, that doesn't matter, sugar," Kish said, "What's a mere human doing coming to fight me with the Mew Mews, hmmm?"

"Fight you? Well, since you haven't been paying much attention, we only have you to fight now, because I distracted you long enough for the Mew Mews to kick your Krimea Animal out of creation!" He turned to see I was right. The Mew Mews faced him with glares.

"I'll just have to stop being so distracted next time," Kish replied, "If there will be a next time, because the trap is sprung!"

Pie and Tart appeared, and we found ourselves surrounded by an army of Krimea rabbits. They were a repeated description of the dog monster: big, scary, and with colors that weren't found on the original animal, just to make them look totally awesome. I wasn't all that scared–I mean, bunnies? Dogs? What were next, hamsters? Parakeets? The whole pet store?

"Ok, seriously? Bunnies are supposed to kick our asses? Couldn't an advanced race of aliens come up with something better than this?" I questioned as the Mew Mews huddled together, feeling outnumbered. I looked back at the aliens, only to find Kish in my face. I stepped back, startled.

"That's quite a smart mouth you've got there, hazel eyes," He smirked, narrowing his amber eyes, "People like you end up getting hurt."

"If that's true, how many times have you been beaten up, smartass?"

"Why, you-!"

"Oh, look. Pie and Tart failed to defeat the Mew Mews, and so did the Krimea Animals. Ho-hum." I gestured toward the battle scene, which was already ending. "And you're the only one left. So give it up!"

He snarled at me. "I'll be back, and I'm going to make you pay!"

"Visa or debit?" I asked, sniggering. He vanished without another word.

"Whoo, way to go! You distracted him from helping the other Cyniclons!" Ichigo in regular form said, "Good job, uh…"

"Mandy," I replied, smiling, "My name's Mandy."

Mandy: And now you know who the blackmailing and distracting character is – me!

Tart: And I thought we had enough problems with the Mew Mews…

Mandy: Don't flame my fic saying "self inserts are lame" or whatever. I did this out of pure old fashioned fun. So if you don't like it, don't say anything!

Ichigo: -munching on something- Yea, what she said! … This quiche tastes good!

Mandy: Uh… woops. 0.0;

Pie: Read and review! If you do that, maybe I will purge Kish from Ichigo's stomach.

Ichigo: What? Kish isn't…

Mandy: -cuts her off- Ok, well, bai bai!! ^^;

Edited/Updated 6/30/09