A/N: Hey there loves! Long time no see, eh? Well...that's not entirely true. I updated the Jamboree on 4/30...Anyhoo! Since my computer died back in February, I've resorted to hand writing my fics. And whilst wallowing in self-pity on my trip to Canada back in late Feb., I worked on another installment for Problems. In the same notebook, I also have another fic started based off of a line from West Coast Story. But for now, y'all get another problem :]Oh, and today, May 1st, is my 18th birthday! So how 'bout you leave me some reviews to make my b-day extra special? :P--I first saw her from across the commissary. She wasn't my usual rich and famous type, but she did have one thing going for her - she. Was. Gorgeous.

She had long golden waves that perfectly framed her angelic face. She had startling amber eyes that lit up like a wild fire when the light hit them just right. Her legs went on for miles and were perfectly tanned.

She wore a flowy royal blue dress that hit her mid-thigh and accented her curves perfectly and showed just enough skin.

I watched her as she crossed the room. She was next in line to get a heaping pile of meatloaf bits when I decided to make my move.

I slid in line in front of her, pushing back her plate.

"Hey, I was--" She began.

"Afternoon Brenda."

"The usual Mr Cooper?" The homely cafeteria lady questioned me.

"Yes please. But make it two. I figure I owe my friend here some lunch." A look of shock crossed her face, followed by a nervous smile.

Brenda took out two silver platters with porter houses on them and gave me a happy, albeit creepy grin.

"Thanks Brenda." I took the two steaks and headed to a table. And it took her a moment, but she followed cautiously.

I gestured for her to sit and she did, but she gave me a questioning look as she did so.

I pushed the steak toward her, but she just continued to stare.

"Go ahead, it won't bite," I laughed.

"Um...okay." She cautiously began to eat her steak. "Oh, uh...My name's Halle by the way. Halle Shaw."

"Nice to meet you Halle Shaw." I flashed her my 1000-watt smile. "I'm Chad Dy--"

"Dylan Cooper, I know. So...why exactly did you get me a steak?"

I shrugged, still smiling. "I'm Chad Dylan Cooper. I don't need a reason to get a pretty girl a steak."

She looked away, slightly embarrassed, and that's when I knew I was in.

For another ten minutes we sat at our table chatting, Halle being shy and demure the whole time.

We talked about tons of stuff - what she was doing at Condor Studios, my acting career, her life back home. And then I glanced down at my watch and saw that I had about two minutes before I had to be on set for rehearsal.

"Shoot…I'm sorry Halle, but I've got to go or I'll be late for rehearsal," I confessed, an apologetic expression on my face.

"Oh, okay. Don't want to keep the star of the number 1 tween drama from his work," she smiled.

I hadn't seen it until now. She wasn't the type of person that really opened their mouth too wide when they spoke, she was too nervous talking to me to smile that much.

But there it was.

Her teeth. They were dull - coffee stained. So much less than pleasant. And beyond their…discoloration, she obviously did not know the joy of flossing.

It's because of people like her that I weep for the gums of the world.

I was having such a good time talking to Halle. But if there's one thing I stand for more than anything, it's proper dental hygiene. So I just…couldn't even stand to look Halle in the eye anymore.

Why couldn't she have teeth like…like Sonny's? Bright, white, and clean.

…And there she goes again…

Little Miss Sonshine Sonny Munroe has to go and rub things in my face…

…Dammit.

Well…at least I won't have to go through another messy breakup with this one…--Alright, that's that. Hope y'all enjoyed!And I'd really like to apologize for the fact that there are SOOOOO many things that I haven't updated in forever. I promise, I'll try to get to them all as soon as I still, it may take a while. I still no longer have my own computer, and I still have school to deal. Two AP classes, and two honors. Which means a lot of focus put on school. Also, I have some personal, family type problems to deal with. I'll try to make time to work on updates, but I can't promise it'll be as soon as I'd like. :[