"Bones! Bones!"

Captain Kirk ran into sick bay, almost knocking over two nurses on his way to McCoy, who was seated behind his desk. He skidded to a stop and slapped his palms on the surface of the desk. Bones' head shot up and he stared at Kirk, fearing the worst.

"Uh... yes, Jim?"

"I have a great idea."

"When the words 'great idea' come out of your mouth, it rarely turns out to be an accurate description of what really occurs," Bones replied, begrudgingly putting down his stylus.

"It's called 'Surprise Kiss Captain-Doctor!'"

"Oh god..."

"We each have to pull surprise kisses on each other without getting caught by any other crew member."

"How old are you again, Jim?"

"Who ever has the most number of successful kisses by the time we get caught wins!"

"What if we never get caught?" Bones replied sarcastically, unable to stop himself.

Kirk gave him an exasperated look. "Really, Bones?"

Bones sighed, drumming his fingers on the desk. Jim was staring at him with an expression which could be described as 'school-boy glee.' Crossing his arms over his chest, Bones cleared his throat.

"Supposing I agree to this idiocy, what is the reward?"

"Kissing me isn't enough?" Jim pouted.

Bones just raised an eyebrow.

"If you win, I have to tell Uhura the truth about what happened to her favorite dress uniform boots."

Bones perked up. "In detail?"

"Yes."

Bones pursed his lips, still skeptical. "And if you win?"

"We have sex on your desk," Jim said, rubbing his hand almost affectionately over said surface.

"What!? That is hardly equal!"

"Game on or not? And before you answer that, it's game on whether you like it or not," Jim said with a fairly infuriating grin.

"What makes you think I'd even try to catch you in any surprise kisses?"

"You love kissing me."

Bones could not help but nod despite himself.

"And-," Bones looked up at the flirty Captain tone creeping into Jim's voice. "You'd be damned to let me win; you love your desk."

"One condition," Bones said, holding up a finger.

"What?"

"If I win, you also have to tell Spock about what really happened to his chair on the bridge."

Kirk looked scandalized. "Oh, harsh!"

Bones gave him a stoic stare and shrugged. Pursing his lips, Jim suddenly leaned forward over the Doctor's desk, kissing Bones gently on the lips. Leaning back only slightly so his breath puffed over Bones' lips, he whispered:

"Game on, Doctor."

Kirk: 1 – McCoy: 0

It was Gamma shift, closing in on Delta, when Bones finally finished his status report for the day. He knew that Jim, for some insane reason, was still on duty on the bridge, so he might as well just take the report up. Perhaps he could also try and convince Jim that he really didn't need to be in his Captain's chair 24 hours a day.

Coming on the bridge, everything was calm, just quiet beeps and the low hum of peripheral conversations. Sulu was at the helm, and an ensign whose name McCoy did not know was occupying little Chekov's usual seat. Jim was in his chair with his legs crossed, making notes on a padd in his hand.

"Day's report," Bones said, pointing the padd in Jim's general direction.

Damn, he was tired. He hadn't realized how long the day had really been until just then. He was about to yawn when suddenly Jim was in front of him, kissing him hard. Before he could even respond, Jim was gone again, back into his chair and holding the report Bones had brought. Bones blinked, his now-empty hand still up in the air.

"One!" Jim said in a chipper tone.

"Sir?" Sulu said, turning around slightly in his seat.

"Nothing, Lieutenant!" He grinned, putting the padd down on the arm of his chair and clapping his hands together once. "Shouldn't Delta shift be starting soon?"

Bones looked around at the other crew members on the bridge. Clearly, not a one had seen the kiss. Bones had the sudden urge to shout 'How did you do that?' Kirk turned around slightly in his chair to look back at the doctor with a mock innocent expression. Bones gritted his teeth, then just raised an eyebrow at the other as he turned away. He was not going to lose this game.

Kirk: 2 – McCoy: 0

Bones was quite certainly minding his own business as he walked down the corridor back to sickbay. He was working on the status update of their medical supplies and compiling a list of things which needed restocking as soon as they had the opportunity. Basically, he was doing his job. Then, out of nowhere, a hand was on his shoulder, turning him around and pushing him into the nearest wall.

"No, it's not fai-" was all he managed to get out before Jim had him pinned against the wall by his lips.

Bones' padd clattered to the ground, and he could not help but kiss Jim back because, really, what else was he going to do? Plus, with so much physical contact with the other man, it was hard for Bones to think of anything else but 'Damn, I need to kiss you right now.'

Then Jim pulled away, leaving Bones feeling just a little cold as voices wafted down the corridor toward them.

"Drop this?" the Captain said, holding out Bones' fallen padd.

Bones narrowed his eyes and took the offered item. "Yes, thank you."

James smiled in a completely-not-innocent-in-the-slightest way and nodded. "You're quite welcome… Two."

Bones shook his head and glared.

Kirk: 2 – McCoy: 1

Jim knew it was going to happen as soon as Bones slipped onto the turbolift behind him just before the doors closed. He tried to duck just for the game's sake and good sportsmanship, but he wasn't fast enough. Bones already had Jim by his waist and upper back, dipping him into a kiss that was one hundred percent a romantic moment. All at once, Jim's arms flew up to encircle Bones, and he kissed him back like they hadn't kissed in months. It felt like bliss.

Then Bones was standing him up as the turbolift doors opened onto deck 5. Jim had to lean a hand on the wall to steady himself as he watched Bones walk out down the hall.

"One!" Bones said, holding up a finger without turning around.

"You know," Kirk said, smacking the turbolift doors open with both hands when they tired to close, "I think turbolifts are cheating."

"You never specified any such rule before, Jim," Bones replied as he walked further away. "You can't change it now."

Uhura came up to the turbolift entrance, giving Kirk a quizzical look. She looked between him and the retreating Doctor quickly, then focused on the Captain.

"Am I going to be able to use the turbolift any time soon… Captain?"

He turned and looked at her with a frown, then moved one arm out of the way allowing her to pass inside.

"I still think it was cheating," Kirk muttered as the doors closed.

Kirk: 2 (deflected 3) – McCoy: 2 (and some major satisfaction)

Bones saw the smirk on Jim's face when he walked into sickbay. Game time. Picking up a padd and a hypospray, Bones stood up and feigned interest in one of his happily sleeping patient's status computers. Out of the corner of one eye, he saw Nurse Chapel disappear around a far corner of the med bay, and in the other, he saw Jim sneaking into his blind spot. Just as he felt Kirk's hand touch his waist, Bones took a large step backwards, sending Kirk falling forward and nearly slamming his head into the base of the bed.

Smirking, Bones held out a hand to help the other man up. "Careful there, Jim. You shouldn't sneak up on people like that."

Kirk stood up straight, pulling at the base of his uniform. "I have no idea what you mean, Bones."

Bones raised an eyebrow and pondered injecting Jim with the hypospray. He wasn't exactly certain what was in it, though.

"I was coming to tell you that you're on the away mission down to that M class planet we're coming up on. Uhura has tracked some transmissions that sound like there could be some problems we could help with."

"I'm overjoyed," Bones grumbled.

Jim looked a bit like he wanted to try jumping on Bones again but one of Bones' assisting doctors had just walked by to check on the patient behind Jim. Bones raised both his eyebrows and continued to gaze at Jim.

"That all?" he asked.

Kirk narrowed his eyes slightly and just nodded a fraction. He turned on his heel and walked away toward the door. Suddenly, Bones turned around, laying his padd and hypospray on the foot of the bed beside him.

"Doctor Michaels," he said, addressing the man who had just walked up. "Could you please bring me a med kit for the away mission?"

"Yes, sir," he said, walking toward an adjoining room of the sickbay.

Quickly, Bones followed Jim, catching him just before he went out the door. Grabbing the top of Jim's arm, Bones pulled him back and caught the man's chin with his other hand, giving him a chaste kiss.

"See you at the shuttle bay later then. Two."

They both glanced out into the corridor then back to each other and Kirk shook his head wryly.

"1600, we're leaving," he said then over his shoulder as he turned away he added: "I will get that three today."

"We'll see," Bones countered.

He might have been enjoying himself, just a little.

Kirk: 6 – McCoy: 4

Dragging Bones into the captain's quarters as he walked by should have been a disqualified kiss, but when Bones left again an hour later, he really couldn't begrudge Jim the award of a sixth point.

Kirk: 8 - McCoy: 5

"Jim," Bones said as they picked him off the gurney and put him on the bed. "Jim, answer me."

He looked up at the computer screen showing the patients life signs, lines and numbers flying across the screen. His pulse rate was up, and Bones couldn't be sure yet if the poison had reached his heart.

"Get me that hypospray, now!" he hissed between his teeth, making the doctor next to him turn and run at top speed.

He was back in a matter of seconds, hypospray in the CMO's hand and then into the neck of the Captain. Bones' head shot up to look at the computer screen again. There was no fucking way that Jim was dying on him because of a god damn poison flower.

"Come on, Jim," he muttered, counting the seconds. "Come on; don't stop all that bravado now."

He could see Chekov, who had been with the Captain on the away mission, hovering by the door. Bones gritted his teeth, staring hard at Jim's vital signs. He'd give him ten more seconds.

"Come on, man," he growled quietly.

Then the line began to shorten and the pressure dropped, his heart slowing to normal. He heard the doctors and nurses behind him let out audible sighs of relief, moving about normally again. Turning to look at Chekov, Bones nodded in the affirmative. Chekov smiled and left the sickbay, clearly going to inform the bridge crew. The Captain was going to be all right. Bones saw Jim's eyelids fluttering and he turned back to his team.

"Nurse Chapel could you get him some water? Doctor Johnson, there's a tricorder on my desk, if you'd get it."

Both nodded and headed off in different directions. Jim slowly opened his eyes and groaned quietly. Looking around quickly to be sure, Bones leaned in and kissed Jim as he regained consciousness.

"You're not going to die," he said into the kiss.

"Hmm," Jim said as Bones leaned away. "I always like not dying in the morning."

McCoy snorted as Johnson returned, handing him the tricorder.

"Was that four?" Jim said, starting slightly where he lay, then groaning as he did so.

"Stay still," the doctor said, putting a hand on Kirk's chest. "And yes."

"Now, that should be a rule violation," he said pointing a weak finger at the other. "I was half unconscious."

"Doctor, what is he talking about?" Johnson asked quietly.

Bones raised an eyebrow. "I think it may be a lingering reaction to the poison."

Kirk: 9 (though that last one was debatable as chocolate was involved) - McCoy: 7

Uhura was at the front of the away party, trying to negotiate with the locals. Apparently their language was close to one of the many she knew, but it still didn't seem to be working very well at getting them set free.

"The next time you say 'Let's just go take a look' I am pushing you out an air lock," Bones grumbled.

"Pardon me, Bones, but part of our mission is to explore new civilizations."

Bones looked sidelong at James with an angry stare. Jim resisted fluttering his eyelashes.

"Oh, yes, and then get captured because we violated their laws by landing our shuttle craft right on their holy grounds."

"It is a giant field," Sulu piped up next to Jim. "Hard to tell it was so important."

"Hardly helpful now, is it?" Bones snapped, pulling his wrists against the metal bindings around them.

Jim figured this would not be a good time to laugh as Bones fumed.

"Well, I'm sure Spock will be here to save the day soon, or Uhura will get through to the locals that this was all just a big misunderstanding."

"I'm sure," Bones said with a sarcastic sigh.

Suddenly, they heard the sound of impulse engines, and all four Starfleet officers as well as their ten captors whipped around to look at the approaching ship. Jim turned to look back at Bones with a grin.

"Told you."

"Fine, then." Bones kissed him. "Seven."

Kirk snorted, glancing quickly around at the oblivious bystanders. "Touché."

Then the shuttle touched down, and out stepped Spock with four of the Enterprise's security guards.

"The cavalry," Jim quipped.

Kirk: 12 – McCoy: 9

The engineering deck had far too many places to hide, Bones decided as soon as Jim grabbed him by the neck in a none too delicate fashion with a shout of 'twelve!' and dragged him behind one of the many tall structural supports. How no one had heard him shout, Bones had no idea, but he was not complaining what with Jim's tongue deep in his mouth.

On his way back to sickbay, he passed by Spock, who inquired if Doctor McCoy was quite all right, as the state of his hair indicated that he may have been involved in an altercation. Bones did not even answer.

Kirk: 13 – McCoy: 11

Spock was walking ahead of them as they headed down to the transporter room to meet the ambassador from Triten 5.

"Their culture is similar in fashion to the Ming era of Earth China," Spock was saying as they walked. "Though their society is matriarchal in most cases as opposed to patriarchal."

Suddenly, Jim sidestepped and kissed Bones quickly on the cheek, making him stumble. Spock looked back briefly at the noise, but only saw the doctor glaring at the captain, and he faced forward again.

"Since when did the cheek count?" Bones said quietly.

Jim laughed. "Since when did it not?"

"Humph."

"Thirteen."

Kirk: 14 – McCoy: 13

Throughout the game, the Bridge during Alpha shift had been a sort of ultimate prize for both of them. Chance of success there lay on the line of next-to-impossible. It was always guaranteed to have a lot people present, thus the most challenging, and possibly embarrassing.

"Report," Jim said as they all looked out the view screen at the strange ship in front of them.

"Unknown design, sir," Chekov responded.

"Any hails?"

"Nothing so far," Uhura responded. "Though I am picking up something strange… it sounds like…"

Suddenly music began to play out of the speakers and everyone turned to look at Uhura in surprise. Bones took the one second chance of the entire game which would never be open again to kiss Jim quickly on the back of the neck as the Captain stood to listen to the song. He started in surprise but eased up quickly and did not look back at Bones.

The song continued to play its strange haunting tune, like flutes and wind blowing through tall trees. Everyone on the bridge was transfixed, just listening.

"Thirteen," Bones whispered.

"I know," Jim said, a smile in his tone.

For some reason it felt less like a victory and more like a romance, with the strange alien music playing all around them.

Kirk: 14 – McCoy: 14

Fourteen was a cheat, and perhaps not a surprise, because McCoy called the Captain down to sickbay for a 'physical' when he obviously knew it was empty.

Jim, however, did not mind at all.

Kirk: 16 – McCoy: 15

They were hunched behind a broken piece of the enemy vessel wedged up against a wall. Sulu and Chekov had been safely beamed back to the Enterprise. However, before Kirk, Bones and Spock could be beamed away from the Klingon vessel as well, the comms had shut off and nothing else had happened. They had no way of knowing if the Enterprise could still beam them back, or even if she was ok.

"There are four Klingons left on this level," Spock said as he inched back over toward the other two. "Two are dead."

"Good to know we hit something," Bones muttered, panting in exertion, one hand pressed against the wall.

There was a trickle of blood coming down his head which kept irritatingly trying to leak into his eye. Spock and Jim didn't look much better, the latter having a huge rip in his uniform and a long cut down his cheek from a Klingon blade. Spock looked just as a mess, not a speck of him not covered in grit and sweat.

"We are getting out of here," Jim said to the other two. "There is no way we are dying on a stinking Klingon vessel."

"Captain, the likelihood-"

"No statistics!" Bones snapped quietly.

"Look," James said, raising his head slightly to peer over the scrap of metal. "It's an even match right now and we are getting back to the Enterprise no matter what. The ship needs us, right?"

"That is an accurate assessment," Spock said, the faintest hint of amusement in his tone.

Just then, they heard the sound of footsteps. Spock who was closest to the end, looked out and ducked back almost immediately as phaser fire made sparks fly where his head had been.

"Three more Klingon warriors have entered the deck," Spock said.

"Shit," Bones cursed. "I was not planning on dying like this."

Jim turned and looked at him as phaser fire hit the metal behind them, making the flimsy cover shake. One of the Klingons shouted something they could not understand but it sounded angry. Spock raised his arms over the edge and fired back.

"Look at me," Jim said to Bones, who turned at his words. He leaned forward and kissed Bones hard on the lips, a hand on the man's cheek. "We are not dying. If anyone is going to kill us, it's not going to be a bunch of Klingons. Not on this Captain's watch. Ok? We are not dying, not now."

Bones' mouth quirked slightly. "That was sixteen."

"What?" Jim said.

"Surprise kiss sixteen."

Jim sighed as Spock hunched back down again beside them. Bones just shrugged back at him.

"I don't think that counts, considering we're being fired on right now," Jim said, jumping up and firing five times before crouching back down again.

"You surprised me. It counts," Bones said with a grimace of pain. "Plus, I need something to look forward to once we live through this."

Jim laughed, causing Spock to turn and look at the two of them.

"Perhaps the matter at hand should take precedence over telling jokes at this time?"

"You're too right, Spock," Jim said, a determined look entering his eyes. "Let's kick their asses."

With that, all three turned around and stood up, all firing at once just as the transporter beam activated around them.

Kirk: 17 (not 18) – McCoy: 18

i-Game and Match-i/

It was in a corridor leading to the mess hall, of all places. The coast looked clear and Bones had barely even fought when Jim grabbed his wrist, pulling their bodies together. Their lips connected and Jim mumbled 'eighteen' just as Uhura and Spock appeared around the bend.

"Oh!" Uhrua said, probably louder than she had meant to, and the two men broke apart.

Uhura stared with her mouth hanging open and Spock just quirked an eyebrow. Bones could not stop a triumphant chuckle from escaping his throat. He turned and looked at Jim.

"Seventeen-Eighteen, I win."

"Oh, no no," Jim said holding up a hand. "Just now, I got eighteen that was eighteen."

Bones waved a hand right back. "Definitely not! You were just caught so it does not count, leaving you at seventeen. I win."

Jim gaped at him then turned quickly to look at Uhura and Spock as if expecting them to back him up.

"How did I not know about this?" Uhrua said, her finger pointing between the two of them. "Really? How did I not know?"

"Masters of deception," McCoy said with a smirk.

"That point is debatable," Spock said with a quirk of his lips.

"Er… well…." Jim sputtered.

"And as you have just lost, I believe you recall the terms of the game, Jim?"

"Game?" Uhura sounded worried.

Kirk made an unintelligible noise that sounded somewhat like nausea combined with anxiety which was probably right on the money.

Several hours later, Jim shambled into the sickbay and McCoy's office. With ever-graceful captain style, he collapsed into a chair across from Bones' desk and put his head in his hands with a long suffering groan.

"I see you made it back alive," Bones said, standing up and coming around his desk.

"Remember that time Spock tried to choke me to death?"

"Yes?"

"Well, that is how he looked about fifteen minutes ago."

Bones forced himself not to laugh. "And Uhura?"

"I owe her a new pair of boots and a month of shore leave."

Bones whistled.

"It's your fault, you know," Jim said, lowering his hands.

"Oh, really?"

"You could have just let me win."

Bones scoffed and leaned against his desk. "And give you the satisfaction? I don't think so."

Jim sighed theatrically then stood up, placing his hands against the desk on either side of Bones' hips. The other did not move.

"Fine then," Jim said, his lips only inches away from Bones' "You won this time."

"Oh? Are we going to be playing this game again?"

"Why? Didn't you like it?"

Bones pursed his lips. "Maybe."

Jim leaned forward and kissed him. "You did," he said, then kissed Bones again. "Don't lie to your Captain."

He had to laugh. "Fine, then. It wasn't completely horrible."

Bones brought up his hands so they were on Jim's waist and pulled him closer.

"Want to have sex on my desk?"

Kirk blinked once, then a smile burst across his face. In one movement, he pushed himself forward into the other man and slid Bones up so he was sitting on the desk. Bones gasped in surprise then was pushed back as Jim climbed up on the desk on top of him.

"Definitely," Jim said with a wink and kiss.