SNAPE AND THE FIASCO

We begin this story with a tragedy. It seems that during summer vacation, everyone who lives at the castle contracted Swine Flu (H1N1) and now no one can take care of the school. This leads Headmaster Albus Dumbledore to call in special help, a healer and a responsible person, a sexy man and a love-sick demon: Severus Snape.

Severus enters the castle with healing potions of the strongest kind, but the effects of Swine Flu (H1N1) need to wear off naturally, leaving Severus up a creek, or rather up a ladder. School starts in two weeks and he must tackle the cleaning on his own, and also…well, you'll see.

Severus Snape was busy cleaning. Wearing the world's only black smock, black face mask, black everything; he cleans the school with precision only seen by professionals. While enjoying this time to think, a problem arises, and it's the kind of problem that he must speak to Dumbledore with.

"Sir, I cannot, I will not, I will never do what you ask," Snape demanded angrily.

"Severus," Dumbledore whispered, coughing heavily and spitting into a paper cup. "You must. Hagrid is ill, along with Filch, and those animals will not take care of themselves. You are to…(coughs, spits into cup) sweep the stables,…(coughs, spits into cup) feed the animals, and…(coughs, spits into cup) make sure they remain separate at all times. Can you do this?"

"You have given me no choice," Severus spat, leaving the room.

When Severus arrived at the stable, he considered leaving again. Creatures were running amiss, and there was blood outlining a few of the walls, and some remains of well, something. Severus was appaulled, but the show must continue. It was up to him to capture the animals by hand, since many could not handle the forces outputted by a spell, and to clean and feed them. The task was daunting, yet poor Severus completed the task, completely, and returned to the castle around eleven that evening. He staggered into Dumbledore's bedchamber and sat beside the bed, glaring at him. That morning, when Dumbledore awoke, Severus was there, ready to tell a tale of horror to the man who sent him on such a task.

"I captured the animals, cleaned up the remains of animals, swept the shit of animals, fed the fucking animals, and I will never do a damn thing with the animals ever fucking again," Severus spat quietly. "Now, old man, go tell your little minions that I am leaving this school and its fucking animals behind, and I shall not return until the day before classes begin. Do you have all that, or must I repeat it?"

"I heard everything, Severus. I think my Swine Flu is clearing. You may leave. I'm sorry you had such a terrible time with the creatures. Oh, look! A unicorn!" Dumbledore exclaimed, looking out the window. Severus's eyes grew wide.

"NO! NO! NO! I WILL NOT, I SHALL NOT TAKE CARE OF THOSE MOTHER FUCKING ANIMALS ANOTHER DAY! FUCK YOU HOGWARTS! FUCK YOU HARRY POTTER! I SHALL NOT BRING UP THE OFFER WITH YOU, ALBUS! NO, I'M LEAVING! I CANNOT TAKE THIS! NO! NO! NO!" Severus screamed, running from the castle as fast as he can, calling for his broom in the process.

Severus left Hogwarts that day, only to return the next. You see, he himself had contracted Swine Flu (H1N1) and he wished to be with the same doctor from before. After learning he was at Hogwarts, Severus broke into a coughing fit, and many could swear those eyes let out some tears. The man with the plan had his plan taken away, and now he sits in the Hogwarts Hospital Wing awaiting treatment for Swine Flu (H1N1), and hopefully never having to deal with those miserable animals. That is all for now. Please review this fanfic if you have the time, or if you can find the proper words. Thank you for reading and good day.