Turning Back
[Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic]
26 June 2009

Chapter 1: Choices

Everything she had done, she had done for the Republic.

There was a time when Revan would peer through the viewport in her quarters, gazing at the expanse of stars that always lay just beyond her reach, letting the immensity of the universe draw her outwards. It was times such as this that guilt would creep in; as her mind touched the various worlds, imagining each in their exact place, spinning silently through the void, and yet so full of life… she would feel echoes through the Force, or perhaps imagine them, from each of the worlds, and repeat the same phrase. Everything she did, she did for the Republic.

Long gone were those days, of course. Guilt was something no Jedi should feel; if an action would cause them to feel guilty, they should not do such. If such an action was necessary, then it was unavoidable and without need for guilt. For all that the Jedi Order could be fools, there was usually wisdom in their teachings.

Revan would still allow the universe to draw her out, but instead of sensing the life and emotion in the void, she instead saw precision and order. She saw the ways she could attack and the ways she could rebuild and prepare and defend.

A loose sigh came from the corner of the dark room. Tonight was not one of those nights. She just couldn't focus on what she wanted. A dangerous state to be in, with the game she played…

Settling herself on a bench alongside the viewport, Revan rested her temple against the cool screen, eyes studying the pinpricks of light outside, having already cast off her mask and cloak. Few had ever seen their master in such a state, and she kept it that way. Her thoughts were just too big for her mind this evening.

Revan had done evil things. She knew this, and accepted it calmly. She had defied the Council and attacked those that had been her allies. Not without purpose, though. Her allies had not been strong— this much had shown in the war with the Mandalorians, and even now. If one of their own could turn and cause this much destruction, the Republic was simply not ready to defend itself… not against the greater threat that she felt lurking out there. In order to make them stronger, then, she had to become the enemy.

This was not a role that Revan had been eager to take on by any means, but neither did she shy away from it. She had used those who would come to her service, used the Star Forge… the size and power of her forces were undeniable.

A look of distaste came to the woman's face. This was where much of her thoughts had been straying as of late. Her army may have been huge, but it was not the army she sought. It was full of those who starved for power, wanted to rain destruction. Wanton destruction was, and would always be, pointless. There was no point in establishing dominion when there was nothing to rule over.

And it would have at least helped if her own apprentice didn't ascribe to the same oblivious viewpoint.

Malak's discontent with Revan's actions had been growing of late; it was part of what drove her into introspection. He wished to use the Star Forge to its very limits, create a fleet that could annihilate the Republic. It seemed, then, that Malak had slipped entirely into the Dark Side of the Force.

Revan had lost most of her faith in the idea of 'sides' of the Force, but it was plain to see that her one-time friend was entirely wrapped in his own darkness now. Of course, he was still a powerful ally, one she was loath to get rid of… She just had to keep a very tight leash on him, one that he had strained one too many times.

Not two weeks before, things had come to a head, and he had attempted to challenge her. Revan had ended the duel quickly and without mercy, slicing his jaw from his face. In one sense, it had been brutal and humiliating— on the other, it had only injured him, still leaving him in excellent fighting condition. With that, Revan had hoped to end the matter, proving her point— both her desire to cripple but not destroy, as well as the fact that she would not tolerate him speaking against her.

Part of the memory nagged at Revan though. She had felt a distinct amount of fury and a surge of pleasure in the battle's outcome. While she didn't follow the Order's ideals of zero emotion, either, she knew that such things were stemming from the darkness building within her.

It was unavoidable, with everything she had done, and the path she had chosen. Still, Revan sought to control her darker emotions, and avoid the chaos they could bring. Again, her thoughts turned to Malak. He always was the more passionate and fiery of the two. It was what made him such a strong warrior, and an excellent ally. It made him crap for strategy, though, and was part of what made him so dangerous. After their battle, he had been subdued, following her commands to the letter, properly cowed. Still, Revan could not be sure that his ambition would not return, and it would be disastrous for her plan.

It could be me, she added, silently. The path Malak had chosen had rendered him unworthy as a successor, and while she did not doubt that she could keep his ambition at bay, she also realized that she was dangerously close to slipping like he had.

It was not the actions she took that bothered her. But, if Revan allowed herself to accept a dark or evil mentality, her plan could dissolve into chaos. It was fully possible that she could still beat the Republic, but to what end then?

Underestimating one's own darkness, or overestimating one's ability, can be devastating. Who exactly had told her that, she could not recall.

Perhaps this meant… she should pull back? Lessen her efforts? As much as Revan preached a cool head and self control, she had fear and self doubt too, and was just as stubborn as any Jedi about admitting them.

Making an effort to recollect herself, to regain sight of the true goal…

At this point, it may be necessary. And about this, Revan could not afford doubt. She must do what was necessary.

---

---

In the passing weeks, Admiral Lhysan had noticed his mistress' diminished interest in most things. Of course, she never showed any emotion, but lately she had been distracted. It wasn't obvious, and he was certain the rest of the Leviathan's crew were too terrified of Lord Revan— none dared call her 'Lady'— to notice. However, he had served under her since the beginning of the Mandalorian Wars, and did not fear her in the same way.

She was dangerous, oh yes, but he had a distinct amount of respect for her, and he believed that she held some respect for him as well. Therefore, he did not tremble before her, and tended to notice the small signs.

The more obvious signs, however, were that their forces were pulling back; not a retreat, as their mistress would never allow that, but neither did they actively attack. For now, they made their way, assumed patrols, held planets. They did not expand outwards and if Revan had a reason for all of this, she wasn't letting on.

Lhysan trusted her, or at the very least, did not feel like testing his luck by questioning her. However, word sifted across the ranks that others were growing restless, and were not pleased with Revan's actions. Malak in particular was apparently seething over his Master's sudden change of heart and apparent weakness. Personally, Lhysan was glad that Saul Karath was commanding the vessel that Malak was on. Anyone but him.

The atmosphere in the bridge changed, and Lhysan knew that Revan had entered without even looking up. It was in the sudden hesitation at the consoles, the stiffness of backs and the slightly turned heads that quickly returned to their duties.

Lhysan rose and turned, bowing gracefully. Revan was, as usual, donned in cloak and mask; the admiral wasn't sure he remembered what she looked like under that mask any more.

She offered a bored gesture of acknowledgement, and he returned to his seat. She didn't ask for a status report; she rarely did, as of late.

He offered it to her anyways, as today's was of particular interest. "We're tailing a Republic fleet— our numbers well exceed theirs." This caught her attention, and Revan turned her head sharply. "We came out of hyperspace near to their position. They broke for the asteroid belt."

Lhysan pulled up an image of the system, showing their location and the enemy fleet's, as well as the belt in question. Revan stepped closer to inspect it. "They're going to make a stand." Her voice was quiet, yet anything but soft; it sounded odd and tinny through the helmet.

Nodding, for he had reached the same conclusion, Lhysan continued. "They cannot hope to outrun us, though they will make the belt before we can come into firing range. I suggest we split our forces, approaching them within the asteroid field from either side, so as to prevent any of their ships sneaking around and flanking us."

"Disperse the fleet," she commanded in her quiet way. "Order fighters and boarding parties to ready themselves." Lhysan's left eyebrow twitched slightly, but he held his tongue. Revan seemed to sense his confusion anyways, for she continued to address him. "We can face their ships, but not easily, among those asteroids. The smaller vessels will have the advantage in maneuverability. Our regular fleet will box theirs in, advancing slowly."

Admittedly, Revan's strategy was sound, but defensive. Not to mention, it was much harder to take a ship from the inside than to simply destroy it. It also put their boarders at risk, as the main fleet would still engage any targets they contacted. Still, Lhysan transmitted his mistress' orders throughout the Leviathan and the other ships; that was the way of war.

It wasn't long until the Sith fleet had reached their destination. As far as sensors showed, the Republic fleet had not emerged from the other side. As earlier, Lhysan detected a change in the demeanor of the crew, but this time, it was like electricity; he noted, in the back of his head, that they hadn't seen any action for nearly a month.

"Deploy the fighters and sensor probes in the first wave. Deploy boarding vessels two minutes after. Pass the orders on to Malak."

The crew set about their duties, the volume in the room growing steadily as information was relayed between them or over the ship's comm. Below, Lhysan knew more crew members were being directed to their stations. He called up a channel, choosing to deliver the orders himself.

"Lord Revan orders deployment of all forces in two waves, according to the following data." He transmitted the message and plans, not only to Malak's ship but to the entire fleet. Malak was the one glaring on the viewer, however.

"Does she…" His voice was dry and leering; it sent a shiver down Lhysan's neck. The muscles pulled in his face— his equivalent of a dark smile, the admiral could only assume. Without anything further, he ended the communication. Seconds later, half of the fleet split off.

"Fighters are reporting contact!" The report came from an ensign with a headset pressed to his ear. Lhysan turned to regard him, and was rewarded with further information. "The field is swarming with enemy fighters— seems like they've launched all of theirs."

The admiral nodded. "Keep maneuvering those probes— find their ships," he ordered to another area of the bridge.

Someone at the weapons station flew into action as a squadron of fighters appeared from behind an asteroid. Perhaps they recognized the vessel they had stumbled across, as they instantly scattered at the first volley of incoming fire. All of the tiny ships dodged through the various asteroids, before regrouping for another approach.

This time the enemy squadron made a run at the Leviathan; some of them took damage from the cannons, but the fighters were too small and too maneuverable to be easily taken down that way. "Deploy the reserve fighters!" Lhysan barked.

"Already launching, sir!" one lieutenant called in an attempt to appease her superior.

Through it all, Revan stood silent and motionless. There was no need for her to interfere yet. She would step in when she chose to.

A squadron of their own was beginning to chase the enemy off of them, but they must have already transmitted their coordinates to other fighters. This time the weapons station was able to eliminate a couple before they reached the Leviathan, and though Lhysan could feel the spattering of laser fire across their shields, slight vibrations and lurches, he set his mouth into a thin smile as their own fighters came at the attackers from behind and the side, forcing the Republic pilots to veer off or be shredded in the crossfire.

"Move the ship." It seemed Revan had chosen her moment. "Use the vector the fighters approached from, and monitor for the presence of another vessel."

So many fighters doubtless would have stemmed from one ship; it made sense to eliminate said ship. It wasn't holding with Revan's original plan, though— still, Lhysan carried out the orders. Whatever she knew— or sensed, perhaps— it must have led her to a new conclusion.

"Found it!" The triumphant cry lasted only a moment, but there was a definite sense of satisfaction among the officers. One of their sensor probes had transmitted to them the coordinates of the closest enemy ship, the one that was no doubt the source of all the fighters, and Lhysan set them on a course to pursue.

Immediately, both squadrons of Republic fighters began to harry their ship again, and when the Republic vessel drew into sight, it was fleeing before them.

Revan fingered her own console. "Malak. Move to intercept at these coordinates."

No doubt that will please Lord Malak, Lhysan thought wryly. He doubted the other Sith would have been happy with Revan's defensive approach in the first place, and was likely looking for any excuse to engage the enemy directly.

The battle growing beyond the viewport was absolute chaos, but one would never know it from the bridge of the Leviathan. Lhysan had always insisted on discipline and order, particularly in battle, taking his cue from Revan.

The ship rocked again, another volley from the fighters overwhelming one section of their shields and leaving burning gashes along the hull. Even so, Malak's vessel was joining the fray, now close enough to open fire. With that, the battle was beginning to turn in favor of the Sith. Enemy fighters withdrew, striving to protect their ship, while the main ship hammered away at their own, to which the weapons officers heartily responded.

Lhysan was on his feet now, monitoring his men and women, walking behind their stations and communicating with them himself. As he stood for a moment at the forward viewscreen, Revan stepped up beside him.

She raised her arm slightly, as if about to say something, but then froze. It wasn't that Revan stopped moving, Lhysan would muse later, but completely froze. Her stiff form caught his attention, drawing him to begin to ask, "My Lord—"

A hiss came from behind the mask she wore. "Something is wrong." Though her voice betrayed no hint of emotion, her fist was clenching in front of her. "…There are Jedi onboard."

"What?" Her revelation had not been missed by the crew, and Lhysan was quick to shout, "Back to your duties! Mobilize security teams!"

"No," Revan calmly refuted. Her hands were once more tucked within her cloak. She stepped past Lhysan, ignoring his confusion. "Allow the Jedi to pass." Sensing that he was ready to rebel against her order, she rounded on him, speaking firmly. "The Jedi are many, and strong. They will decimate your troops. They are not to engage the enemy."

"Lord Revan, if I may be so bold…" Lhysan dared. "There is nothing to stop the Jedi from attacking my men, whether or not they 'engage' them." He trusted Revan, true, but he was not one to stand by while his crew was murdered.

Revan still stared at him. When she spoke, he could have sworn she sounded amused. "The Jedi are coming for me, Lhysan. I suggest you order your men to get out of the way." She returned her attention to the view screen. "Naturally, since I am their target, the bridge is their likely destination. Have auxiliary command take control, then proceed down there with your officers."

"…And the Jedi?"

"I will take care of them."

There was something odd in Revan's voice, that the admiral couldn't quite pick out, but put him slightly off balance. His shock was only furthered as she added, quieter even than she usually was, "And Lhysan… prepare your crew for evacuation."

The bridge crew were already transferring their controls and departing, leaving Lhysan the only one to respond to her dumbfounding instructions. "…Lord…?"

"This battle… I should have seen this sooner, but now I know that it is already lost."

"Against the Jedi?" His hand drifted to his sidearm. Orders or no orders, he couldn't see abandoning his mistress to get herself killed. She raised a hand to stall the admiral.

"It's not the Jedi who I did not see." Her voice, it was… gentle, he realized. All of this, it baffled Lhysan, and he was unable to even form the question. Luckily, she provided him the answer anyways.

"It was Malak."

---

---

By the time the Jedi boarding party had reached the bridge, Revan had seated herself on her knees in the center of the floor, lightsaber resting next to her. Her gloves and mask were off, the latter of which she held contemplatively in her hands. She ran her bare fingers across it, tracing the worn lines of the old metal. It was a Mandalorian helmet, one she had found on Cathar when she had once urged Jedi to stand and fight alongside the Republic. The Mandalorians had massacred the Cathar; this discarded helmet was all that remained of one that had tried to defend the defeated race. Revan had vowed then to wear that helmet until she overcame the Mandalorians.

Their defeat had come and gone, and yet still she wore it. Her mission was not complete. The true intent behind that mask had not been to kill Mandalorians, but to save the Republic, though any way necessary. That task had still lain before her. And so the mask stayed on.

"Was that really why?" She ran a thumb across the side, asking but receiving no answer. "Or were you just a mask for me to wear, to conceal who I was becoming…"

It occurred to Revan that she had put herself in this position. She always did, even as a youngling, she always got herself into trouble.

She closed her eyes. This time, she was putting herself in a new position, one in which she could hopefully salvage her plan for the salvation of the galaxy… and herself along with it. This was the thought she held strongest when a team of Jedi burst through the door at the back of the bridge, only to find the Dark Jedi in what appeared to be meditation.

"Revan."

She could feel them, all alive and burning within the Force. It was always a marvelous sight, a Jedi in battle. One rarely had the opportunity to appreciate it. "So you're here," she murmured, opening her eyes once more.

The person that turned to face them was, surprisingly, without her mask. Instead, they saw thin black hair that fell limply to her shoulders, framing a pale face. Thoughtfully observing them, however, were a pair of yellow eyes that looked as though they might retain hints of brown at the center, vestiges of the woman she once had been.

"I assume you are ready to face us," one Jedi said, a young woman. "You kept your troops out of battle with us… It seems almost… kind of you," she remarked.

"I doubt I really have that kind of emotion left in me," Revan replied, quite candidly.

"Perhaps." Another Jedi, this one an older male. "But if you've enough of the Light left within you to allow them that, then it's not too late for you, Revan— surrender."

"Surrender?" She puzzled over the word silently. "…No. That's not why I've let you come this far." Revan could feel the grim readiness in them, the tension, as they prepared for battle. Even against a team of this many, she could hold her own, even defeat them. She set the mask on the floor, her hand hovering over her duel lightsaber. The tension increased.

She suddenly flicked her wrist, and the lightsaber rolled backwards, towards them. The surprise radiating off of them was enough to make Revan almost laugh. Still, the weight of the situation tempered her amusement.

"I'm not going to fight you either," she at last announced, rising to her feet. As she turned to face them full on, she released her cloak from its fasteners, allowing it to fall. Revan stood before them, clad only in simple grey and black robes with some armor over them. One Jedi tentatively held his palm above the offered lightsaber. She watched with no reaction, as he drew it from the floor and into his outstretched hand.

"…Why?" The young woman from before was staring at her intently, obviously confused, even suspicious.

Why indeed… "My intentions were never the evil ones the Council saw," she offered. "Believe that as you will. The war I created is another matter however, and yet, I never sought to destroy the Republic. Nor did I embrace the Dark Side."

This explanation was certainly a shock to the Jedi that had no doubt been sent to apprehend or kill her. They were not slacking in their stances and grips, however— they showed excellent discipline.

"So do you now say that you are once more on the side of Light?" one Jedi asked skeptically.

Revan gave a small, mirthless smile. "It's never that simple. Besides, I can't deny accountability for the many who have fallen to the Dark under my command. Or even… that I was slipping myself." That admission stung more than she cared for, but it was undeniable. "That's what's led me to reevaluate my approach. And to those Dark followers, I realized I had given too much power. I had too much confidence in my forces… and now, it's too late," she added.

"…No. You can still redeem yourself," declared the young female Jedi.

"I hope so… but that was not what I meant," Revan explained, turning sideways to glance out towards the stars one more time, the image cut with laser flashes and debris and asteroids. "I never intended for this." She gestured towards the Jedi and herself. "But at the last moment, I was left with no other option. Malak knows you are here… Bastila Shan."

She directed the last comment directly to the young woman, who stood a little stiffer upon the revelation that the Dark Lord of the Sith recognized her.

"I felt it through the Force, too late: Malak's intent to betray me, growing steadily, and now his moment has arrived… I could have struck at you or him," she went on, her voice now rueful, "but there is no way I could have defeated the both of you."

"And so you choose to save yourself?" Whoever the speaker was, it appeared they were not the only skeptic. Many eyes were narrowed.

Revan shrugged, an odd gesture to see from a Sith Lord. "Well, yes. That's part of the reason. But if fleeing was my only intention, I hardly needed to confront you lot do so." She raised an incredulous eyebrow at the idea, but her expression soon hardened. "One way or another, Malak is going to take control of the Sith. And that is a far more dangerous prospect than either of us want to face."

Shan stepped forward, but hesitated; Revan could hardly blame the woman, suspicion was flooding from her, as it should have. "According to you, that prospect is unavoidable," she pointed out, critically.

Revan bowed her head slightly, eyes no longer focusing on them. If she had seen, sooner, or had simply killed Malak in their duel…

A sudden burst of fire rocked the bridge, and all were shaken, fumbling to keep themselves upright.

"It is now." Looking up, Revan's yellow eyes narrowed as various alarms began flashing across the bridge. Another bombardment was headed their way. "As I said, Malak has realized you are on board my ship. He has opportunity to eliminate two of his enemies at once." He gaze slid to Shan once more, which made the young woman obviously uncomfortable. "And he seems to be taking it."

The man who had her lightsaber gave Revan a long and searching look as he gripped at a nearby console, breaking it only as their ship rocked again. She could see from the corner of her eye, consoles indicating that escape pods were already launching. So Lhysan had acknowledged her last order. Returning her attention to the Jedi, she found that the man was looking to her again.

"So what do you propose?"

Revan visibly hesitated before answering. "As I said, I've no desire to allow Malak to conquer the galaxy or destroy the Republic. And… I'm willing to give up my own plans to prevent him from doing so."

The expressions that met that statement showed that they still didn't trust her, but she knew that what she said made sense. Besides, if Revan was offering herself to the Jedi without a fight— they could take it as a surrender if it made them feel better— they could not rightly attack her.

Another barrage shook the Leviathan, and a claxon sounded, accompanying a tremor that Revan realized was the shields failing completely.

"Whether you're telling the truth or not, we can't stay on this ship," the man finally admitted, albeit reluctantly.

"Let's move," Shan agreed, before sparing a glance back at Revan.

The now ex-Sith Lord stepped up towards their group, unable to keep from smirking as they each raised their lightsabers a fraction of an inch. "We should head for the closest shuttle. I'll show you." Revan continued right through their group, and none knew if they should stop her. So, they let her pass.

Shan continued to scrutinize her as she had this whole time. "…All right. But stay behind us," she commanded, a little imperiously considering who she was talking to. Again, Revan raised an eyebrow, noting the girl's bold nature. She had to assume 'us' was Shan and the male Jedi standing with her, who was now tucking Revan's lightsaber into his robes. They'd be idiots to let her be at all their backs, after all.

But the situation was growing more urgent by the second, and the steady bombardment from Malak's ship was increasing in intensity. Revan could feel the pulses of the Leviathan's lasers returning fire, but most of her ship's crew had already abandoned the vessel. The remaining men could only do so much.

One shot must have hit incredibly close to the bridge, for the blast of it nearly knocked them all from their feet. Revan caught herself on the bulkhead, noting as several consoles exploded and a crossbeam fell from the ceiling a couple of yards away from the assembled Jedi.

"Come on!" That must have been Shan, but Revan found herself agreeing. The two Jedi in front broke into a dash, and Revan followed easily, the sounds of many footsteps trailing behind her.

By now the halls were empty, with no one to see the strange truce that had formed among the motley group, Revan wondered idly, as she called for the Jedi to turn at the next opening, whether any of the crew would have even recognized her.

It didn't take long to reach the lateral shuttle bay; "Here." Revan strode between Shan and the other Jedi to enter the code to unlock the door, but allowed them in first.

Upon seeing the open and apparently functional shuttles, Shan leapt into command again. "Excellent. Thalen, Naros, check that shuttlecraft, and get it started if you can. Pirilias, secure the area. I assume we'll need codes for the hangar door?" She looked pointedly to Revan, who nodded, then held up a placating hand.

Bastila's still-suspicious look was met with the amused point that: "If I did something that would kill you, I'd die too."

No doubt we'll be going to Coruscant, and the Council. Revan calculated the hours that would take, accounting for all the time she'd have to annoy this rather uptight padawan. In fact, she was sorely tempted to pull rank on her, if only to see how they would all react.

Strange bedfellows you find yourself in with, Rev. Talen and Nero, or whatever their names were, were reporting that— obviously— the shuttle was starting just fine, and the other one apparently hadn't found any soldiers lurking about. Revan moved towards the shuttle herself and wondered if they thought she didn't notice the two Jedi flanking her. As strange as the whole thing was, Revan found herself breathing easier, even surrounded by people who had been sent to kill her. The whole thing was sort've funny, in a very twisted sense.

Once inside and the hatch was sealed, Revan transmitted the codes to depressurize the bay and open the doors. With that done, she seated herself on the nearest bench, strapped herself in, and folded her hands in front of her, waiting for the launch. At the helm she could hear someone communicating with the shuttle they had came in, no doubt telling their pilot that they had found alternate transportation. Her name came up as well, and there was a startled squawk from the other end. Behind her hands, she smiled.

Glancing up, she saw the other Jedi, some seated, some standing, but all across from her, and all regarding her silently.

Shan was one of them, and she approached Revan, though with trepidation that Revan caught with both her eyes and through the Force. "I must admit," the young woman began, "this was not how I expected our encounter to end today."

"It's not yet over," Revan opined.

"…True." About this, Shan was evidently displeased. "But your actions… they were surprising."

She doesn't understand, Revan thought to herself. It made sense. She's curious about my reasoning and why I would so quickly offer myself as an ally. It baffles her. The Dark Jedi foresaw a lot of that coming in the days— probably weeks, or months, really— ahead. "…They surprise me too," she threw out at last. "Call it an impulse. Although," she amended, voice becoming a little drier, "make no mistake. If there had been a choice, I would not be doing this." She eyed Shan who eyed Revan right back. The older woman's features became softer then. "But… there was no choice. Who knows? Perhaps this was how it was meant to be?"

To that, Bastila had no answer, and she glanced away, before turning from Revan, and going to sit herself down somewhere away from her.

Revan watched her go, before relaxing her gaze, no longer focusing on anything. That was a question she wish she knew the answer to herself.

That's right… make light of it, be sarcastic, insist that you are still the same person they set out to fight… Having made her insane choice, and now with a silent moment to look back at everything that had happened in the last— what, half an hour?— she wasn't entirely sure.

There was no doubt, what she had done was crazy. She had never been the traditional, stoic Jedi, though. Her favorite master had always reprimanded her for her wild and often unexpected actions. She needed to calm herself, allow the Force to direct her.

The view Revan had always taken was that the Force was not her guide, but her map. She navigated by it, but it never determined her path for her. And yet… these past weeks, and this day… Part of Revan felt as if she was simply following events as they were being laid out for her. It was making her… uneasy. She let out a short chuckle at that, which made all of the other Jedi start and reach for their lightsabers, but after a moment in which they realized she wasn't going to blow up the ship and she realized they weren't going to gut her, she ignored them and turned to look past the pilot's seat, out the front viewport.

Funny, in a twisted way. For all their importance, for all they were risking and all she was betting on, it looked exactly the same. It was as though, in one quick breath, everything in her world had shifted radically, but out there, the universe didn't show it.

Revan's eyes drifted shut, consciousness drifting outwards; this once, she let the stars take her where they wanted.

a/n: So what if Revan had chosen to return to the Light Side herself? (Or himself, to respect the canon.) If Revan had realized Malak was about to betray her, if she had realized there were Jedi coming to hunt her... between the two, I honestly don't think there was a way for her to win that day. If Revan wasn't truly evil, and wanted to do what she did for the sake of the Republic (in her own perverse way, at least)... could she have made that choice? Realizing that Malak was the more immediate threat?

Well I'm glad I've finally broken my block, though I'll admit KoToR wasn't what I expected to come of it. I really like the potential in this story, though. For one— Revan with her memory. For two— I didn't feel that the issue of Revan overcoming her past was that strong in the original game, because of said erased memory. The only major issue there was whiny-Carth.

You know the drill! This story isn't being beta'ed, so I rely on you guys to point out stuff for me. I mostly trust myself and spellchecker to handle the spelling and grammar aspects, but if you see plotholes, out of character-ness, or even just have input or want to discuss, I'd like to hear it. And of course, if you feel like inflating my ego, telling me what parts you like or what you want to see, that works too.

::DemonicK