Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl.

A/N: Accidentally posted the same chapter twice. XD You'd think that, having over 150 fics, I wouldn't make that kind of mistake. Apparently this is not true.

Artemis sighed at the computer screen. He had been writing an email to Holly, was right in the middle of it, but he had stopped dead in his tracks to stare at the last sentence he had typed.

According to Butler, I am not allowed to cause him another stressful crisis for at least a week, lol.

He couldn't take his eyes off of it. The last word... no, it wasn't really a word. The... chat script that had somehow slipped through.

"Lol."

It was like the lollipop incident, only indescribably worse.

Silently, deliberately, he deleted the email, then removed every trace of it from his computer.