Eternal Sunshine
Summary: (Set during New Moon) What if Bella made the healthy choice and never jumped off that cliff?
Disclaimer: The story and characters belong to the fabulous Stephenie Meyer, obviously not me! I'm merely borrowing them to amuse myself!
A/n: Hey guys and girls, here is my second Twilight fic, been working on it for a while and was waiting until it's complete to post it online. Okay so before I get hit with the flames I have to admit that I am and will always be a Jacob fan so I'm sorry to all you Edward lovers, so here's a warning to you all this story is about Jacob and Bella! I always felt so sorry for Jacob and I'm secretly in love with him (yes I know he's too young for me, I don't care!) But here's to you fellow Jacob fans. There are a few small parts in this chapter taken directly from New Moon and some are borrowed but edited but I'm sure you'll notice them, all credit goes to the beloved Stephenie Meyer! Please leave feedback, I love to hear what you think and as always constructive criticism is welcome. Just don't bother flaming because it is pointless and just plain rude!
I dedicate this story to my lovely little dance partner Kiverty because like me she is a Jacob fan… Ellen, I'm sorry he is way better than Edward, seriously I should shut up now because I will be receiving flames! GAH! Thanks! Mucho loveage! X
Chapter One – Pressure (Preface)
I knew that this was the most stupidest, most reckless thing I had done yet. The thought made me smile. The pain was already easing, as if my body knew that Edward's voice was just seconds away…
The ocean sounded very far away, somehow farther than before, when I was on the path in the trees. I grimaced when I thought of the probable temperature of the water. But I wasn't going to let that stop me.
The wind blew stronger now; whipping the rain into eddies around me.
I stepped out to the edge keeping my eyes on the empty space in front of me. My toes felt ahead blindly caressing the edge of the rock when they encountered it. I drew in a deep breath and held it… waiting.
"Bella"
Something was wrong, my heart pounded in my chest, hearing his velvety voice now was supposed to ease my pain not intensify it. I took a few steps back from the edge, and I was violently shaking so much so I had to fall to my knees otherwise I was sure to lose my balance. Why was hearing him now bringing out this reaction in me? Before it was a comfort, it made me feel somewhat better, peaceful. How long had it been since my last hallucination? I thought back, and I remembered it was when I confronted Jacob about why he stopped being my friend, before I learned the truth about him, he was shaking in front of me trying to control himself, stop himself from phasing in that moment and possibly injuring me, Edward's voice had warned me then to keep Jake calm. I definitely wasn't like this then.
Had the hallucinations finally caught up with me, was I now finally feeling the pain they were supposed to bring me each time I imagined his voice here with me when I knew I'd never see him again, I crawled a few steps closer to the edge when I heard him again, "Bella, no" he said in a tone like a mother scolding a toddler, I heard myself let out a strangled cry and I pulled myself back from the edge I was shaking even more now. My precious hallucinations couldn't help me anymore, Edward was gone and I had to let him go, if I kept on holding on to him then I wouldn't be able to breathe anymore, how could he make me the promise that it would be as if he never existed when just the mere thought of someone so unforgettable made me feel like this?
I had been hollow for so long over someone who didn't even want me, Charlie said I was behaving as if someone had died, not left. He was right someone had died. I did. But Jacob brought me back to life again. He had made me happier in the last few months, happier than I thought I could ever be again.
I took another chance, perhaps I was overreacting, I was desperate to feel that warm comforting feeling I got whenever I heard his voice, I peered over the ledge and I saw something strange, a flame dancing on top of the water. Wait, it can't be a flame. A roll of thunder echoed around me and the clouds opened up and the rain came down on me. I didn't care, I narrowed my eyes and took a better look… no, it wasn't fire. A head rose out of the water underneath the flame red hair, it was Victoria. "Scream, Bella," Edward told me, I complied. I screamed to relieve myself of the pain his voice was bringing me and screamed out of fear. Victoria saw me now and she was smiling up at me.
"Bella!" Jacob? I turned and he came running towards me in human form with two wolves at his flanks who I knew were Paul and Embry, he sniffed the air and pulled me away from the edge and stood in front of me, he looked down at the water and saw Victoria for himself I saw her smile fade when she saw Jacob and she started swimming away, he turned to Paul and Embry and pointed down at the water "After her!" he yelled, Paul and Embry ran off and immediately followed Jacob's orders, even though he wasn't the alpha.
"Bella?" Jacob took a cautious step closer to me, he saw the pained looked in my eyes, my cheeks stained with tears despite the heavy rain falling down on us, "Don't worry, Bella, the pack are tracking her down now, I swear she won't ever lay a finger on you," he promised, he took another step closer and I pulled my knees into my chest and wrapped my arms around them.
Jacob could see there was something more to my pain; he was always able to read me well. Sometimes he seemed to know me better than Edward ever did. Victoria wasn't the only thing I was afraid of. "What's wrong?" his eyes were full of fear
"He's not coming back," I choked back a sob, "he's really not coming back," I cradled myself. Jacob rushed to my side and wrapped him arms around me.
"Jesus, Bella!" he cried, "You're as cold as ice! Look at you you're shivering, let's get you home you're going to catch pneumonia out here"
I didn't care, I didn't want to move, because Jacob was here now, always coming when I needed him, my sunshine. I clung to him and looked up at his face; the rain was running off his eyebrows and he was blinking with every droplet that fell into his eyes. He was beautiful, not like my stone god, but in his own way, and he was good for me, he would always be there for me if I needed him and I was not being fair to him, I knew that.
I thought about Juliet, what if Romeo changed his mind and just left without marrying her. I'd know all too well how Juliet would feel. Like me she wouldn't be able to move on, even in her old age it will always be Romeo's face she saw when she closed her eyes. But eventually would she have accepted that? I was beginning to. And what if her betrothed Paris had also been her best friend? The one person she could talk to about anything, who knew her better than she sometimes seemed to know herself, someone who had pulled her out of her reverie and helped her feel halfway human again. What if Paris was patient and kind and looked after her and Juliet knew that without him she'll fall apart. What if Paris truly loved her and wanted her to be happy. And what if she loved Paris too? Nothing like Romeo of course, but enough that she wanted him to be happy too. If Romeo was never coming back would it matter if finally, she moved on?
Jacob's face was so close to mine and he was warming me with each breath he took, I could barely feel the rain anymore with his warm arms around me.
Could I do it though? Could I learn to forget? No that was impossible, but could I learn to love another? Apart from my departed prince I already loved Jacob more than anyone else, could I one day see my Paris become my Romeo?
Without realising it I had inched closer to Jacob's face, his eyes were studying me, "I don't want to be broken anymore," I whispered
"Please tell me what I can do to make it stop," he pleaded with me, "I've tried so hard and I don't know what to do anymore, Bella. I can't bear seeing you this way,"
Jacob had already filled part of the gaping hole in my chest, he had helped ease away some of the unbearable pain, what if I gave it more time, could I learn to be happy again? Does time heal all wounds as they say?
My breaths became heavier as I realised I had pressed myself even closer to Jacob, our foreheads were touching and his eyes were closed I felt him place his large, rough hand on the side of my cheek, I could almost feel how much he wanted me. I placed my own hand on top of his to keep his warm touch on me. Was this right? I had raised my chin and our lips were almost touching now. I was so hesitant, I felt like I was betraying him, like I was betraying myself. Jacob shuddered even though he doesn't feel the cold, even now through this stormy weather he was shirtless and he was still hot to the touch.
Edward left me, he said he didn't want me anymore, said I wasn't good for him. And here was Jacob, right here in front of me, in love with me, why shouldn't I give him what's left of my heart, it was left broken and Jacob was the one who had half put it back together.
Jacob made the move and I didn't stop him, he finally made the decision for me his lips found mine and my mouth began to move with his in ways they never had before.
He wasn't gentle with me the way Edward use to be, Jacob was passionate, suddenly my heart expanded and I didn't want him to stop, and he showed no signs of slowing. I didn't quite feel the despair anymore, I was still hurting but suddenly it felt like one day, things could be okay again.
A few minutes later he slowed, "I've wanted to do that for so long," he said with eyes still closed and he kissed me tenderly once more. Finally our eyes were open and we gazed at each other for a long time, it was like I was finally seeing Jacob for the first time. Finally I saw the extent of his feelings for me and realised the extent of my own feelings for him, and they were stronger than I could have possibly thought, Edward had been clouding my head for so long I never realised that I was in love with Jacob too. When did that happen?
"Come on," he said in his husky voice, "let's get you home," in his agile way he climbed to his feet and held out his hand for me and helped me up. With our arms wrapped around each others waists he led me back to my truck and drove us back to his home.