A/N: And the moral of the stories, kids, is not to stay up late. Because this is what it does to your brain. ^.^

"I hate my name," Ritsuka complained. "Loveless? What an awful thing to call someone."

"It's not that bad," Soubi replied.

"Yeah, well, you were Beloved by all."

Soubi sighed and put his arms around Ritsuka's neck. "Your name hasn't shown up yet, has it? So there's still time to change it. I've heard that a nice, hard shag will do the trick…"

"Pervert!"

"Actually," Natsuo interrupted, "Soubi's right. Getting fucked senseless tends to change your personality enough to change your name."

Ritsuka sighed. "All right, I'll try it. But I'll need fake ears and a tail…"

The next morning, his bond with Soubi was clearer than ever. He knew his name had to have appeared. Before anything else, though, he put on his fake ears and tail.

"What's with the tail?" Yoji asked at breakfast.

"I don't want my classmates staring."

"Ritsuka… Your name's on your forehead," Natsuo pointed out.

"Aww, man… What is it?"

"Earless," they chorused.

Ritsuka hit his head against the table hard enough for the Zeros to hear a slight squishing sound.

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