The cold dawn air is tinged with smoke as Andy and Ianto approach the farm after another largely unsuccessful trip into Southampton to gather supplies. It's mostly wood smoke and petrol as far as Andy can tell, although there is something else underlying it, something damp and acrid that he can't quite place, yet still sets his nerves on edge.
Andy is about to ask what he thinks when Ianto stops suddenly, his breathing become harsh and his grip on Andy's arm tightening.
"What is it?" Andy asks, looking around, his voice barely above a whisper.
Ianto doesn't reply. Swallowing hard he releases Andy's arm and stumbles to the edge of the path before doubling over, retching.
Andy gives Ianto a moment before putting a hand on his back, steadying him, and asking, "What is it? What's wrong?"
"Bodies. Burnt bodies," Ianto says, wiping a hand across his mouth.
Andy's stomach lurches at the thought of just who those bodies might belong to. "Are you sure?"
Starting to shiver, Ianto gives Andy a wild-eyed look. "It's not a smell you can ever forget."
It's a sudden reminder of just how little Andy still knows about Ianto's past, except that parts of it seem to have been truly horrifying.
Andy knows that they can't just turn and run, although the fear of what he's going to find makes it seem like a good idea. Drawing his gun and keeping Ianto close, Andy approaches the farm.
There are no signs of life around the farmhouse, and the windows are broken and the door smashed in. Off to the side of the house, and only just visible in the faint dawn light, part of the garden has been dug up, soil heaped up at one side of it. The mound of earth shields most of the pit behind it, and its blackened and unrecognisable contents, from view.
Nauseous and shaking, Andy can't bring himself to check how many bodies the pit contains. He wishes he could, so that he'd be able to spare Ianto from having to do it.
"Is it…"Andy swallows hard, the smell of burnt flesh so much stronger this close, "is it everyone?"
Ianto nods, his expression blank as stares at the slowly smouldering remains.
When Ianto doesn't move, Andy takes hold of his hand, "We should check inside, just to make sure."
Ianto nods again, still looking shocked and numb, as he lets Andy walk him into the house, still holding his hand.
The interior of the farmhouse is a ruin; the furniture lies wrecked and haphazard around the rooms, while the walls are riddled with bullet holes.
"What do we do now?" Andy asks, letting go of Ianto's hand as he looks around at the scene of devastation. It's too much to take in, the death, the loss of the people that they had lived, worked and fought beside for the past five months.
Ianto shakes his head, looking around the cellar in a daze, before sitting down on one of the upturned beds.
"We got to get out of here," Andy says, the fear that they could be discovered taking the place of the numbness that he'd felt outside.
"Why?" Ianto asks bleakly, holding Lauren's green hoodie loosely in his hands.
"They might come back, that's why." Taking hold of Ianto's arm, Andy pulls him to his feet, before starting to look around for anything that might be salvageable.
Ianto doesn't move, he just stares at the bloody and bullet torn room, eyes fixed for a moment on the twisted metal that had once been a camp bed.
"Come on," Andy says, his frustration clear as he doesn't want to spend any more time than absolutely necessary in ruin of what had become his home.
"Why is it always me?" Ianto asks hollowly, as he turns to Andy, his eyes full of despair. "Why do I always live through it? I don't want-"
"Stop! You just stop that right now." Andy doesn't want to hear any more, and afraid of what Ianto might say, he grabs Ianto's shoulders and shakes him.
Ianto doesn't react; instead he just looks blankly at Andy like he's not quite sure what is going on.
Letting go of Ianto's shoulders, Andy wraps his arms around him, wanting to reassure him that everything is going to be all right. He can't bring himself to say it, because right now he can't believe it himself.
"I can't do this again," Ianto says brokenly, as he sags against Andy. "I've seen all my friends die. London, Cardiff, now this. I'm always left behind."
"I'm glad you are," Andy whispers, holding Ianto close, feeling tears start to sting his eyes. "Otherwise I'd be alone, and…I don't think I'd make it by myself."
Ianto makes a choked noise and presses his face against Andy's shoulder, starting to shake.
How long they stand there holding each other, Andy's not sure, but eventually Ianto pulls away, and Andy knows that it's time they should leave.
There's no thought of staying at the farm, even if it were safe, and they pack in a daze, trying not look too closely at the blood and bullet holes around them. They leave the radio behind; it's damaged beyond repair, and even if it weren't, Andy's not sure who they would be listening out for any more.
Taking food and bedding, they leave the farm and walk until dawn, lost in their own bleak thoughts, wanting to put as much distance between them and the horrors behind them as possible.
* * *
The February countryside is bleak and bare, affording them little cover as they walk back to Cardiff. The longer hours of darkness are the only thing that Andy can think of that's in their favour.
Andy knows that the decision to return to Cardiff is more about them not knowing where else to go rather than it being part of any useful plan. For reasons that mostly escape him, it makes Andy think of animals who go home to die. It's not a very comforting thought, but then very few of his thoughts have been comforting for some time. He doesn't talk about it, because he's sure that the last thing Ianto needs is him making their situation seem worse.
Although how much worse it can get Andy isn't sure. Between the constant cold, fear of discovery and scarcity of supplies, he wonders just how much longer they can go on, and if they will ever reach Cardiff.
The days are spent huddled together, sharing body heat until they finally get warm enough to sleep. The few warm moments before sleep claims them have come to be Andy's favourite part of the day, when he can pretend for just a little while that everything is all right.
Crossing the Severn by boat as they had done on their way to Southampton isn't discussed, and they turn northwards, keeping to the east of Bristol. Andy knows that it will take longer to reach Cardiff this way, but there is nothing waiting for them there, so speed doesn't really seem to matter. He also doubts that either of them have got the stamina for the hours of rowing in the cold that it would have taken anyway.
* * *
They are a few miles outside of Bath when the snow starts to fall. It's light at first, just a few flakes, but gradually it gets heavier until it's a struggle to keep on the rapidly disappearing path.
The open farmland offers no protection from the weather, and when they reach the edge of a railway cutting, they decide to chance climbing down to the tracks below so they are sheltered from the worst of the wind.
The railway cutting is steep, and the poor visibility and covering of snow makes the descent treacherous. Slipping and sliding, Andy is glad when they reach the bottom.
Following the railway line, Andy hopes that they will soon find some form of building alongside the track that they can shelter in until it stops snowing.
They walk until they reach the entrance to a tunnel. Stopping, Ianto stares at the tunnel entrance for a moment, before saying, "It's the Box Tunnel"
"Is that a good thing?" Andy asks. The name sounds vaguely familiar, although he can't quite place it.
Nodding, Ianto takes a torch from his coat pocket. Switching it on, he walks into the tunnel, saying, "Torchwood London used to keep a secondary archive here back when everybody was worried about the Cold War going nuclear. When GCHQ had the underground city at Corsham built, Torchwood decided they weren't going to be left out, and requisitioned some of the space for themselves."
"There's an underground city?" Andy asks following Ianto inside, glad to be out of the biting wind and snow.
"It was supposed to be somewhere the government could run the country from if London got attacked. It never was more than a decoy site really." Ianto sweeps the narrow beam of the torch across the walls of the tunnel. "About halfway along the main tunnel there's a branch line off to the archive."
"How do you know all this?"
"I used to work in the archives in London, before..." Ianto stops and sighs. "Before I went back to Cardiff. All the archivists had to know about it just in case we were the only ones left for some reason. We'd send somebody down here once a month to check that they were still secure and that water wasn't leaking in or anything."
"So you've been here before?" Andy asks, wondering if Ianto is going to tell him any more about the past he doesn't normally speak of.
"No, I didn't have clearance anywhere near high enough to be sent out alone to check places like this."
After a few minutes of walking they reach the branch line. Following Ianto down, Andy wonders how many thousands of people travelled past it on the train without ever knowing it was there.
The branch line doesn't go very far before it ends at small station platform. Climbing up from the tracks, there is little to see apart on the platform apart from a single door with a modern keypad next to it.
"How secure do you think this place is?" Andy asks looking around, as there doesn't seem to be any indication that the facility has been used for sometime.
"I doubt anybody apart from me even knows this place exists any more," Ianto says, typing a code on the keypad.
The door opens with a slight mechanical hiss to reveal a small, rather shabby-looking office. Andy's not sure what he's been expecting to see, but a small office with an antiquated computer and a few old filing cabinets hadn't really been it.
Smiling slightly at Andy's rather disappointed look, Ianto opens a door on the far side of the office saying, "The main storeroom should be though here."
The storeroom reminds Andy of the warehouse at the end of one of the Indiana Jones films, where innumerable crates, all with secret, classified contents, are held in a secret underground store. It's the sort of thing that he'd always told Colin back at the station was a load of old rubbish, when he started on about conspiracy theories and secret bases.
Most of the boxes have serial numbers hand-written onto old peeling labels, their brief description giving dates in the 20s and 30s for their discovery. Nothing seems to have been added to the store later than the 60's, and Andy wonders if they just started a new and bigger storeroom somewhere else.
Very few of the items seems to have been identified, and many have are labelled broken or fragment. On the fifth row of shelving, mainly containing crates from the 50's, one of the labels catches Andy's eye. Shielding device. No power source. Untested. Recovered from crashed alien vessel, 27th July 1957.
Dragging the crate off the shelf, Andy places it on the floor before prising the lid open.
The object inside looks like a large, lumpy, blue crystal in a twisted metal housing, and Andy thinks that it wouldn't look all that out of place in the window of some New Age shop that catered to gullible tourists.
Beckoning Ianto over from where he's inspecting more of the crates, Andy picks up the crystal, saying, "What you make of this? Says it's a shielding device."
Taking the crystal from Andy, Ianto turns it over a few times before answering. "I've seen part of one of these before. There's a broken one back in the archives at the Hub."
"Do you think this one works?"
"Maybe." Ianto frowns, then hands the crystal back to Andy. "If I had the notes about the one back at the Hub, I might be able to get it to work."
"It's not that heavy. We could take it back with it," Andy suggests, before asking, "How much do you reckon it shields?"
"It came from a ship, so probably quite a large area." Ianto looks thoughtful as he considers the possibilities. "If we could get it to work, it could probably shield most of the Hub."
Looking down at the crystal, Andy tries to take in the implications of having somewhere secure to work from. It would mean that they can start to organise resistance against the Master again. Andy's voice isn't entirely steady when he speaks, memories of the carnage at the farm still too fresh. "If it does, we could start to let people know that there's somewhere they can come to, we could protect them."
"Yes." Ianto smiles and puts his hands over Andy's so that they are both holding the crystal. "Well get the radio working too, tell everybody that we're still here, and we're not going to give up."
Andy nods, feeling too choked to reply.
They spend two more days checking the storerooms for anything that might be useful, but everything else seems to either be too large to carry, broken beyond repair or so alien that they can't even begin to imagine what it might be used for.
With the snow having partially melted and in need of restocking their supplies, Andy and Ianto leave the Box Tunnel and continue northwards to cross the Severn above Bristol, where they hope some of the smaller bridges are unguarded.
* * *
It's a long walk, but finally they reach Cardiff. It seems strange to be back there after so many months away. The empty city isn't the almost silent place that it had been in the immediate aftermath of the Toclafane invasion. With spring just starting flowers now grow unchecked in the gardens and on the verges alongside the roads, while bird song, no longer muffled by traffic, is clear in the early morning air.
Closing his eyes Andy can almost imagine that it's a spring day in the countryside, and that everything is all right with the world.
A screech overhead makes Andy open quickly them again. For a moment he can't tell what has made the sound, then Ianto points up to the Alto Lusso building, where Myfanwy swoops and dives in the early morning sun.
"She's all right," Ianto says, smiling and wrapping an arm around Andy. "She made it."
Seeing Myfanwy alive, and apparently thriving, Andy thinks seems like a sign that their return to Cardiff is somehow meant to be.
They watch Myfanwy until she flies out of sight, before making their way down to the Bay.
* * *
The Hub is just as Andy remembers it; dimly lit, cool bordering on cold, and echoing with the sound of dripping water.
With Ianto working hard on the shielding device, it reminds Andy of their first few weeks together after the Master had taken over when they'd been trying to get the radio working.
Finding enough power to test the shielding device is difficult, and it takes several nights of charging the power cell from car batteries before they can attempt a test run.
Eventually though, it's ready. Positioning the device in the middle of the Hub, Ianto sets a timer connected to the power source, and then goes to stand with Andy at what they both hope is a safe distance.
The crystal in the shielding device and the power cell both glow for a moment, a shimmering dome forming over them, before the power cell flares brightly and then goes dark.
"Well at least we know how works now," Ianto says, looking a little shaken as he checks the readings, before going over to the device and switching it off. "It's a temporal shield."
"Is that a bad thing?" Andy asks, wondering if he'll ever understand enough about alien technology to not need to ask so many questions.
"It means it's as good as useless. We don't have anything with enough power to run it for more than a few seconds." Ianto sighs, disconnecting the now empty power cell.
"What about the Rift? You said that had a lot of power." Andy looks at the complicated mechanical arrangement at the bottom of the water tower, remembering what Ianto had said to him all those months before about Torchwood once trying to use the Rift. "Could we use that?"
"No!" Ianto gives Andy a horrified look. "That would only make things worse."
"How could it possible make things worse?" Andy can't be bothered to try to hide the frustration in his voice. This is, to his way of thinking, the last good chance that have of making a difference, and he can't understand why Ianto is disregarding something that might still give them a chance of success.
"You have no idea what trying to use the Rift could do." Ianto shakes his head, looking determined that he's not going to change his mind. "It's not worth the risk."
"So it would make things worse than a quarter of the world's population being dead and the rest enslaved, would it?" Andy says, angry now that Ianto is sabotaging their best option for them keeping them and, once they find them, other people safe.
"They could all die! The whole planet could die."
"They're going to anyway!" Andy finally loses his temper and throws the clipboard that he'd been holding, ready to write down the test run results.
Ianto opens his mouth to say something, then closes it, shoulders slumping. "You're right."
"I wish I wasn't," Andy says, feeling the anger drain away, the full horror of what he's said sinking in.
When Ianto doesn't answer, Andy walks over to him. "Are we going to try then?" Andy asks quietly, resting his chin on Ianto shoulder.
Ianto nods. "I don't think we've got anything left to lose."
* * *
The scanner radio is still functional, and although broadcasts are rare, they find the occasional piece of information about Martha and her journey around the world. There's never any mention of Gwen, and Andy wonders if she ever found Martha and if she's all right. He doubts he'll ever get to find out the truth, but maybe in this case not knowing is the better option; it still allows for hope.
There's news too that whatever Martha's plan is, it will take place on the first anniversary of the Master taking over.
Every day becomes a race to get the machine operational, the deadline early in May looming ever closer. Andy finds it a little crazy to be rushing the completion of something that may very well kill them, but having an end in sight, a date where one way or another it will be over, spurs both him and Ianto on.
* * *
There seems nothing remarkable about the anniversary as far as Andy can tell when it does arrive. The sun still rises across the city, the sea gulls are as noisy as ever and the radio is silent.
Minutes tick away slowly, and Andy begins to think that nothing is going to happen, or that they've somehow got the wrong date; Then the temporal sensors that Ianto has wired up around the Hub start to flash, and the shielding device comes online.
It's oddly beautiful, Andy thinks, as he watches what looks like a giant soap bubble expand to encompass the main area of the Hub. Everything outside the bubble seems slightly blurred, like it's not quite connected to reality any more.
The bubble is stable for a moment, and then it starts to shrink: a moving, shimmering wall drawing closer and closer about them.
"It's collapsing!" Ianto shouts pushing Andy back, away from the approaching wall. "Whatever's happening, the shields aren't going to hold it."
"Can't we give it more power or something?" Andy asks, feeling panic start to take over.
"I can try. If this goes wrong…" Ianto looks steadily at him, although the implication of their deaths hangs in his eyes.
"Then we'll go together." The certainty in his own voice surprises Andy; the realisation that he truly means it scares the hell out of him.
Running over to where the crystal is wired in, Ianto opens the power connections wide. The bubble around the Hub seems to solidify, becoming opaque; the effect is only momentary though, as it starts to shimmer again and then contract even faster than before.
"I think this is it," Ianto says, returning to Andy's side, and putting his arms around him. "I'm sorry."
"I'm not," Andy whispers as he kisses Ianto, wanting his last memory of them together to be a good one.
It's almost touching them when Andy closes his eyes, feeling Ianto's hold on him tighten. There is nothing left to do but hope that whatever is about to happen to them happens as quickly and as painlessly as possible.
The wall of energy prickles slightly as it touches Andy's skin, but there is no real time to feel more than that as it's followed by a nearly concussive blast, like something breaking the sound barrier. Then everything goes dark.
* * *
It's an effort to open his eyes, and Andy feels more exhausted than he can ever remember being.
All the computer screens around him are working, the lighting is on, and the Hub appears to be fully powered again. None of that seems to matter though, not when compared to the fact that Ianto is laying immobile in his arms.
Ianto is a dead weight as Andy rolls him over. Checking for a pulse with shaking fingers, terrified that he'll feel nothing, Andy is relieved to find it almost straight away. Needing Ianto to wake up and confirm that he's okay, Andy slaps his cheek lightly.
Ianto wakes with a gasp, clinging to Andy as he looks wildly about.
"It's all right. We survived," Andy says, almost not daring to believe it, as he rubs Ianto's back trying to calm him down.
"Not doing that again," Ianto says, resting his head against Andy's chest, looking too tired to move.
"What do you think just happened?" Andy asks, looking around the Hub, able to concentrate on their surroundings now that Ianto seems to be okay.
"I don't know." Ianto yawns, then starts to stand up, holding on to Andy for support, "But we need to find out."
Still holding each other, Andy's not sure that either of then would manage to stay on their feet otherwise, they look in disbelief at the computer displays: The last year has ceased to exist.
The news reports are low on the exact details, but what there is says that the Prime Minister had been behind the plot to kill the American President, and in the confusion following the President's death, Harold Saxon had been shot and killed by own wife.
There is no mention of aliens or Toclafane, or the name the Master.
* * *
The days following the time reversal pass in a blur, with nothing seeming quite real. Ianto calls Tosh, to tell her that their mission to the Himalayas had been a set up, and arranges for her, Owen and Gwen to return to Cardiff on the next available flight. Andy knows that Ianto hasn't explained to them what has happened, not wanting to risk the information over the phone network, but has said that he's got a lot to explain to them when they get back.
Ianto also contacts the Cardiff police and tells them that Andy is on immediate secondment to Torchwood, and will be for at least a month. Andy's not entirely happy with this, although he understands why – there is no way he can turn up on Monday morning and be able to explain any of what has happened to him – but it still feels like his normal life, that he wants to get back to, is being taken away from him.
It's only when Ianto tell him that the plane with Tosh, Owen and Gwen on board will be landing soon that Andy feels the sudden need to get away and be on his own.
* * *
Letting himself back into his flat, Andy is glad to be inside. The town centre had seemed to be full of loud, irritable people who all contrived to get in his way or otherwise make his journey as stressful as possible.
Locking the door behind him, Andy wonders if Cardiff has always been so chaotic or if it's some strange left over from the year that hasn't just happened.
It seems strange to be back, the flat not feeling as much like home as Andy had hoped it would. It's been a year since he was last here. A year or a couple of days, Andy still not sure how to work it out;. whichever it is, it feels like a lifetime.
On the floor by the door is a postcard from his mum and sister, the bright, sunny beach on it seeming almost impossibly peaceful after everything that he has seen.
Picking it up, the words on the postcard seem to blur and waver in and out of focus. Andy blinks a couple of times, before he realises that it's his own tears that are causing it.
Still holding the unread postcard, Andy sits down on the sofa. He feels shaky in a way that he hasn't done since the massacre back at the farmhouse. It's over, but nothing feels right.
Days pass, but the feeling of disconnection doesn't. The flat feels too warm, but opening the windows just fills it the space with noise, and Andy quickly closes them again. The city seems too crowded and noisy. Trips to the supermarket are done in the early hours of the morning when the streets are deserted and shops are quiet. While the whir of anything overhead has him looking for cover and reaching for the gun he no longer carries.
And then there's Ianto. Everything about their situation has changed, yet his feelings remain the same. Andy doesn't know how he fits into Ianto's life any more, or how Ianto fits into his, or even if Ianto wants to.
It's confusing, and Andy wishes that it could just be the two of them again, that he didn't have to worry about what people would think of him, or about how his friends and family might react to their relationship.
Not that Andy has contacted any of his friends and family since the world reset itself. He knows that he can't tell then anything about what has happened, and because of that he can't explain why he looks thinner, tireder, why his eyes are haunted by what he's seen.
It makes no sense that everyday life should seem so hard.
It's nearly a week after leaving the Hub when Andy decides that his self-enforced isolation isn't helping him adjust back to normal life or come to any decision about his relationship with Ianto.
Andy hasn't been able to face going back there now that the rest of the Torchwood team have returned. He knows that it's not fair on Ianto leaving him to answer all the questions that they will surely have, including Ianto's decision that they'd both keep their memories intact, but he's sure he'll just make the situation worse.
Lying in bed, trying unsuccessfully to sleep, and missing how Ianto used to curl against him, holding him and keeping him safe while he slept, Andy watches as the clock ticks through the small hours of the morning.
Whether it's the lack of sleep that triggers the decision Andy isn't sure, but suddenly he knows what he has to do. Pulling on t-shirt and jeans and stopping only to grab his keys, Andy hurries out into the night.
The streets are deserted as Andy makes his way across the city, the early hour and the near torrential rain keeping everybody indoors. It feels good; the rain soaking into his clothes and the quietness of the night time city around him - it seems more real than anything else has in days.
A light is still on in Ianto's flat as Andy stops outside. He hesitates, not knowing what he's going to say to Ianto after not having seen him for nearly a week. Or if Ianto will mind him dropping in, although Andy supposes that Ianto would never have given him his address had he not expected him to visit at some point.
All Andy knows is that if he runs away now, he'll always be running. Knocking on the door, he waits.
Ianto opens the door. He looks exhausted, waistcoat unbuttoned and tie hanging loose as he stares at Andy.
"I needed to see you," Andy says, hoping that Ianto doesn't turn him away, although part of him thinks that it's what he deserves after having avoided Ianto for several days.
Ianto looks at Andy, then steps aside to let Andy indoors, saying, "You'd better come in."
"Do you want a coffee or something stronger?" Ianto asks, as Andy follows him through into his front room.
"Stronger, if that's okay," Andy says, sitting down on the sofa, knowing that there's no easy way of saying what he feels. "I know it sounds awful, but I want what we had, just the two of us. It was simpler. I didn't have to worry about what people would think."
"It doesn't matter what people think," Ianto says, pouring them some whiskey from a decanter, before walking over to Andy and handing him a glass.
It's a nice whiskey, Andy thinks, but it doesn't make the situation any easier. "I've been avoiding everybody. My friends, my family. They can't see me like this, because I can't explain anything, and nobody but us even remembers."
"Some other people remember," Ianto says, sitting down on the sofa next to Andy. "The entire crew of a military vessel, the Valiant, know what happened. They were at the centre of the time reversal."
"How did you find out?" Andy asks, wondering if he really wants to know.
"Jack told me. He was on board with them." Ianto's voice is strained, and he looks away. "He won't tell me what happened, just that it's all over. I don't think he wants to remember. I can't say I blame him."
"He's back then?"
"Yes." Ianto looks down at his drink.
"Are you back with him?"
"I don't know. He needs me, but…" Ianto trails off, looking tired and worn beyond mere words.
"What about you? What do you need?"
"Me? What do I need?" Ianto sounds genuinely surprised, and it occurs to Andy that Ianto isn't used to anybody considering his needs, and that makes him angry.
"Yes, you. What do you want?"
"Honestly?" Ianto still looks a little wary of answering.
"What's the point otherwise?" Andy snaps, knowing that it came out harsher than he'd ever intended.
"Not to be alone tonight." Putting down his glass Ianto leans against him, head resting on Andy's shoulder. "I got so used to waking up with you. Since you've been gone, these last few nights, I…" He sighs, closing his eyes. "You'd think I'd sleep better now it's all over, wouldn't you?"
"Why? I'm not." Andy puts an arm around Ianto before leaning over and kissing him. It's done on impulse, and Andy's not sure why he's done it, except that it feels like far too long since the last time.
"Are we still together?" Ianto asks, as Andy slowly pulls back from the kiss.
"If you want us to be."
Ianto nods, then smiles, hands moving to stroke Andy's face and card through his hair before returning the kiss.
It's not a solution to their problems, but if they're together, Andy's sure that somehow they'll get through this. It won't be easy, but they've lived through devastation that most of the world thankfully doesn't remember, and survived when he'd thought it impossible; but with Ianto by his side, even if he has to share him with Jack, Andy is sure that he can.
Warm and safe with Ianto in his arms, Andy finally feels like they've made it home.