Regret was staring at Frau right in the face, reminding him of why he had gotten so used to keeping his true feelings on subjects within himself. For so long he'd gotten used to hiding however he felt. And now he remembered why.
He was finding it difficult to recall a time where he hated himself more than he did right now.
And Teito. Shit. He felt like he'd just fucked him up more, and possibly this entire mission. If anyone found out what he'd done, that would probably be the end of it. Frau had gotten in some major trouble in the past, but this? Not like this at all.
Teito took a deep breath. He was quiet for a second, filling the room with thicker anticipation in doing so. Finally, he said, "It's okay."
"Um. What?" Frau asked idly.
"I said it's okay. Need a hearing aid, old man?"
Frau smiled a little. "Nope. I got it."
"But just remember one thing." Teito got up and walked over to Frau. He stood over him, hands on his hips, as Frau looked back up at him. "You. Don't. iOwn/i. Me."
Frau couldn't help himself, he grinned. When Teito wasn't being a pain in the ass, he was amusing. No matter how small he was, he always acted big. It didn't take much to light the match to ignite his fiery personality and temper. He wanted Frau to believe that he wasn't afraid of him and Frau knew it. Cute.
"I'm serious." Teito said.
"I know." Frau replied, still grinning.
"But now, I'm going to sleep. And don't wake me up." He walked over to his makeshift bed and laid there, curling up with blankets.
"Night, damn brat."
"Night, pervert."
------
The next day, they were in the city of Barts, which was on the way to the 6th District's port. Teito had been surprised to wake up there and learn that Frau had carried him and Capella there, even though he probably shouldn't have been. So much for Frau's word that they were safe in that little tent. But of course, Frau had purpose in everything he did. They'd arrived there and Frau had saved the Lady Marie from her demonic imprisonment.
....How much did Frau plan ahead of time, anyway?
They took baths after that night party. Frau had been acting pretty funny, Teito had noticed. It wasn't like Frau to just suddenly get dizzy and trip into the wall, or to not hear Teito when he was calling for him. So after finally giving Capella his bath and changing back into his bishop's clothes, he asked the boy to stay in their room for a while. When Capella asked him why, he said he had to take care of something but would be back soon. He promised. He even had the burupya stay and keep him company. Capella believed Teito and did as he asked.
Teito was sure that Frau had gone back to his room, so that's where he went too. Frau had been just down the hall from them. Teito was soon knocking at his door.
"Frau. Hey! Frau!"
The door opened suddenly. "What is it?"
Teito looked up at the shirtless bishop. "I was going to ask you if you're alright."
Frau held his head. "Yeah. Peachy. Thanks for askin'." He reached for the door and started to shut it but Teito blocked it with his hand.
"Let me in."
"Don't bother me right now. I wanna get some rest before we head out again."
"Nonsense."
Frau groaned. "Will this be quick?"
"Like I can put up with you for that long?"
Frau didn't believe him, but he moved aside to let Teito in anyway. Teito walked into the room as Frau said, "You worry too damn much about other people. I'm fine now." It was the truth, he just had a slight headache. Teito probably wouldn't believe him though. "You need to focus on yourself."
"Never heard that one before," Teito said with an eyeroll as he as sat on the bed.
Frau closed the door and rose an eyebrow. "Making yourself at home?"
"Why do you worry so much about me?" Teito said. "You're the one that was stumbling in the hallway."
"Yeah, but I'm fine now. Am I stumbling now? Take a chill pill, jeez."
The truth was that Teito's mind had been racing since that night in the tent. The kiss. Frau telling him that he /liked/ him. Just what was he supposed to do with that information anyway? He wanted to talk about it, somehow, but he didn't know what to say. Here he sat on Frau's bed making an idiot of himself, asking if he was okay. Well, of course he was okay. Teito was the only mess. Everyone else could pull themselves together. Sigh. This was going nowhere fast. And that's not where he wanted it to go.
"I get your point," Teito muttered, biting his lower lip. This was so frustrating. He didn't want to be struggling with this. "You don't want me here. I'll go."
He got up and started to the door as Frau watched him with a risen eyebrow. What the hell was up with the brat today? He was going to let him leave, but as Teito's hand touched the doorknob, Frau said, "Wait. What's the real reason you're here?"
It was a silly question. Frau could already tell. But he wanted it in stone. He wanted Teito to /say it/. Otherwise, it wasn't real.
Teito stopped, his back to Frau. "It's stupid."
"What's stupid?" He demanded. "Being alone with me?"
"No. Well. I." Teito stuttered. He turned around, facing Frau again. Their eyes met. Teito had forgotten how it felt to look into his eyes because he avoided his gaze so much. It was sort of like looking at another person, yet not at the same time because there was so much there that Frau kept hidden most of the time. But right then, at that moment, Teito could see it. He could practically feel it. And there was nothing cold about it. "I guess....I wanted to be here."
"Why? What do you want?"
Teito looked down. "Were you serious the other night?"
Frau was quiet for a second. He didn't take his eyes off Teito. He wanted Teito to look at him again. He...liked how it made him feel. It was...warm. "Yes. I wouldn't pull your leg about something like that."
"I thought so."
"Got your mind racing?"
"Yeah." He still wouldn't look at Frau.
Dammit, Frau thought. "Yeah, I thought it might. Put...it out of your mind. It doesn't mean a damn thing."
"It doesn't? None of it meant anything?" He finally looked at Frau again. Those eyes...
Frau silently cursed himself. "No, it's just." Ugh, how should he do this. "I can't." That was really, really hard.
"You...can't?"
"No. Sorry, damn brat." Frau's turn to look away. "I can't and you know it. Sorry if I got your hopes up or something. I don't understand though, because I thought I pissed you off."
"I was pissed," Teito replied, looking at him with a tilted head. "But I changed my mind."
He wasn't serious. He couldn't be serious. Frau was tempted to pinch himself. This wasn't happening. "I told you what I felt about you. You saying what I think you're saying?"
"I'm saying that..." Yeah, it was hard for Teito too. He was shaking as he spoke. He made fists to attempt to stabilize himself. It wasn't working. "Me too."
Frau was speechless for a long moment. Teito didn't say anything else, he was waiting for Frau to speak. But Frau didn't know what to say. His heart, yes his heart, was suddenly beating a hell of a lot faster than he was used to. He could see how much Teito was struggling with this, it made him ask himself if this was even worth the hassle. "I see," he finally said.
Teito took a breath in another failed attempt to stabilize his shaking body. He walked over to Frau. Frau didn't move. He looked up at him, meeting his eyes again. They were different this time. There was something else there. Teito felt like he was so close to reaching it, whatever it was. He wanted it. And he was going to get it. "That thing you did in the tent the other night? That kiss?"
Frau nodded, returning his gaze. "Yeah?"
"I know what I said, but I want you to do that again."
It was official. He was dreaming. He had to be. He closed his eyes and nodded again. "As you wish." He leaned down and pulled on Teito's collar, finally forcing his lips on Teito's. Teito didn't flail or resist this time. He was still. Too still. Frau put a strong around him as he pried Teito's mouth open with his tongue. It was then that Teito started to melt into him. He put both arms around Frau's chest, holding him tightly to him. He returned Frau's deep kiss, noting how much he liked the taste of the older man's mouth.
His breath caught short and he pulled his lips away for a moment, gazing at Frau's chest to regain proper breathing. After a moment in doing so, he rested his head on Frau. "That was...different than the last one."
"I know." Frau said. "It was meant to be."
"I liked that."
"Then let me do that again." He pulled Teito's chin up with his free hand. Teito reached up and met Frau's lips this time, melting even further into him. Frau kissed him deeper, and he found himself letting out a small moan onto his lips.
"That's right." Frau whispered. "Just like that." And he kissed him again.