50 More Ways to Avoid Imminent Death!

51) Blind him with a flashlight. (Surprisingly effective!)

52) Hire someone to drop a piano on the guy. Classic.

53) Tell him you're his mother and you've come to love him.

54) Ride in on your elephant. Crush him.

55) Transfigure him into a mouse. Cage him and keep him as a pet. Name him Squiggles.

56) Tell him the two of you had a child together. Lead him to believe it was Lucius Malfoy.

57) Slip mushrooms into his supper. A hallucinating Dark Lord is the best kind of Dark Lord.

58) Transfigure his robes into a frilly pink dress. Let him know that carnation pink is really his color, and leave while he is admiring himself.

59) Throw a toaster at his head.

60) Fall to the ground before he even has a chance to kill you. When he comes over to see what happened, whip out your baseball bat and hit him over the head.

61) Continuously Apparate/Disapparate around the room. Every so often, Apparate behind him, poke him, and scream "GOTCHA!"

62) Transfigure his feet into bunny rabbits.

63) Scream so loudly you shatter his eardrums.

64) Set him on fire and make s'mores!

65) Summon the Goblet of Fire and place it over his head. As if the flames weren't already enough, shrink it.

66) Summon a television set and turn it to Full House. Nobody can resist the charms of Full House.

67) Summon John Stamos. Nobody can resist the charms of John Stamos.

68) Set up a candlelit dinner for him and have an amiable chat as you dine.

69) Tell him you gave Fenrir Greyback a love potion, and now he's madly in love with him. Tell him he's on his way right now. Especially effective if it's the full moon.

70) Point somewhere over his shoulder and shout, "Look, it's the Order of the Phoenix!" If the Order of the Phoenix could actually be there, that would be even better.

71) Hypnotize him. Make him think he's a rooster.

72) Give him a journal and instruct him to write out all of his feelings. It will help with anger management.

73) Bring your pet honey badger. Feed it Nagini for dinner. "Dinner, Honey Badger." (Hufflepuffs everywhere, rejoice)

74) Start gushing about the power of love. Most likely, he will spontaneously combust.

75) Leave a portkey in the elephant exhibit at the zoo. Make Voldemort the other end of the portkey so that elephants are constantly appearing on top of him.

76) Cast a strong Obliviate on him. Tell him that the year is 1880. He's a middle-aged man named Frank who works in the coal mines, has three beautiful children, and enjoys dancing the Minuet with his wife Helen on Friday nights.

77) Cast the Imperius curse on him. Force him to be your slave. And everywhere you go, he has to walk ahead of you and announce to people, "Ladies and gentleman, I present to you the honourable (insert your name here)!"

78) Turn his room at Malfoy Manor into a hotel for the Dementors.

79) Start talking to Greyback about what an enticing meal Voldemort would make. Use words like, "Sumptuous," "Juicy," "Savory," and "Medium-Rare."

80) Transfigure his wand into a feather.

81) Duct tape his mouth shut.

82) Throw heavy books at him until he falls unconscious.

83) Turn the floor where he is standing into a giant sinkhole.

84) Do some snooping around, and find out if Voldemort is allergic to anything. For example, if he has a peanut allergy (it's quite common, you know) shout "ACCIO GOOBER PEAS!" and watch as he breaks out in a terrible rash and/or loses the ability to breathe.

85-92 were all thought up by the wonderful, fantastic TheCompletelyAddictedBookworm!

85) Park the TARDIS (Type 40 called Sexy) on top of him.

86) Summon River Song. If she's busy, summon her hallucogenic lipstick.

87) Call The Doctor. He can help (and regenerate).

88) Bring along The Last Centurion with you.

89) Make a portkey. Have the other end come out in a spaceship.

90) Bring along a flesh version of yourself. Whilst he's deciding which is the real you, hit him and run.

91) Summon a tank. a Dalek works too but makes your escape less likely.

92) Yell, "Look! A distraction!" and run.

93) Whip your handy-dandy Pokeball out of your pocket. Choose Pikachu. Nobody has ever gone wrong with Pikachu.

94) Send him off to Pigfarts where Rumbleroar will gladly eat him.

95) Give him a makeover. A brand new look can improve even the worst personality!

96) Transfigure his shoes into roller skates so he slips, falls, and possibly breaks his wrist (do dark lords even wear shoes? I wonder what kind they prefer…Nike? Adidas?)

This idea was thought up by doctorwhofan2005

97) Inflate him, and when he gets big, pop him with a pin.

98) Send in the dancing lobsters.

99) Enter his name in the Hunger Games. Fifty times.

100) Hand him a portkey which will transport him to the center of a large plate of Jello.