A/N- Hello! Welcome to my fic! I've never ventured into writing a Twilight fic before but this idea just would not leave me alone and upon writing it down I was somewhat surprised that it actually made sense and I sort of liked it- I hope you do too! This is another story about the aftermath of Bella's birthday in New Moon, but, hopefully, is different to the other stories out there. Please enjoy!

Disclaimer- I own nothing

--

As soon as we were outside I felt the fight drain out of me as the fresh air brought order to my over-stimulated senses. I stopped struggling and let myself go limp in Emmett's grasp.

"Oh, God." I murmured, my mind blank and unwilling to comprehend what I had almost done. The swirl of emotions, disappointment and anger being most prominent, hit me full force. I could feel Emmett's shock at how quickly the situation had gotten out of control and Rosalie's fury as she paced the length of the garden, stalking up and down so quickly that a human would have a hard time following her movements. I could also feel Alice clearly, even though she wasn't outside with us, and her disappointment stung me worse than anything.

Had I let my precious Alice down? I hadn't been able to control myself, hadn't been able to stop myself from launching myself at Bella, the frail human who the whole family now seemed to revolve around, I had let my family down. The emotions made sense- of course they were angry at me, of course they were disappointed. I had just tried to kill the love of my brother's life.

"Oh, God."

I couldn't concentrate on my own emotions at this point, the little control I had had was gone, leaving me open to the full onslaught of everyone else's feelings. It hurt me to know what they were feeling, knowing what I had almost done. I was a monster.

I shuddered and felt an immediate twinge of concern. It made my head spin. Why should anyone feel concern for me?

"Jasper?" Emmett sounded unsure.

"Let me go."

A wave of uncertainty hit me then and I knew he didn't trust me. But then again, why should anyone ever trust me again after what I had just tried to do?

"I won't hurt anyone, I just need to get away."

"I'll come with you."

Rosalie spoke for the first time, "Just let him go, Emmett."

He let go of me then and I stumbled forwards into a run. Within seconds I was nearly a mile from the house.

It was only when I was totally free of everyone's, even Alice's, emotion that I finally stopped, a good couple of hundred miles from the house. I felt my knees buckle and I fell to the ground, cradling my head in my hands.

If I could cry, I probably would have.

Instead, my shoulders shook and my chest heaved. I wanted to be sick. I screamed instead. I wanted to feel physical pain, I wanted punishment and distraction from the emotional turmoil that dominated my entire being.

I had tried to hurt her. Tried to suck her dry like I would have a deer or a bear, like she wasn't even a human being, that she meant nothing to me, she was just another food source.

She was Edward's world, his everything and the one he had waited so long to find, and I had nearly killed her. I was truly a monster.

Even now the thirst burned at my throat as I thought of her, making me feel worse, if that was even possible. The venom pooled in my mouth and I knew I should hunt but I was unable to make myself do so.

Why should I satisfy the hunger that threatened to destroy everything my family had worked so hard for?

Foreign feelings flooded me then and I sat up, suddenly aware of my surroundings.

I wasn't alone.

But, the pattern of emotions was so unlike any of my siblings or my parents that I knew it couldn't be them. Curiosity, pain, love, confidence and desire in one strong wave.

It was then I caught their scent on the wind that caressed my lifeless face. Two, I guessed, unfamiliar. A threat.

I jumped to my feet as the pair emerged from the trees to my left. A male and a female, their hands entwined and smiles tugging at their pale lips, joined me in the small clearing. Both sets of eyes glowed a deep red as they watched me.

I don't know how long we stood there, weighing up one another, and neither party wanting to make the first move. I could feel something coming from them, something that I didn't understand, and it immediately put me on edge.

They were like night and day in appearance. The man was tall and, despite his vampire skin, he had a dark complexion. Mexican, maybe. His hair was midnight black and his features angular. Handsome in a sinister way, his eyes spoke of past cruelties that made my skin crawl.

The woman was fair but rather plain by vampire standards. Her round face was nothing in comparison to the women of my family and her large eyes were vacant. She was shorter than her mate, though not by much, and her frame was well muscled.

They took a step towards me and I snarled at them, a warning to keep their distance. Simultaneously their smiles widened.

"What do you want?" I asked, pushing away the emotions that had plagued me until their arrival.

"You spoiled our game." The female said.

"The humans we had been hunting became frightened at your screaming and turned back to town." The male explained, the soft lilt in his voice confirming my earlier suspicion of his Latin American heritage. "We had spent days working up to this."

"And you ruined everything." The female tiled her head to the side and a wave of unease that I knew to be my own swept through me, mixing with the previous emotions that I had been unable to shake.

"I apologise." I said, holding my head high and forcing myself to calm down. "I'll leave you to your hunt."

The male smirked, "Now, where would the fun in that be?"

Then, suddenly, I was under attack. I cursed under my breath, why hadn't I seen this coming? I had scared away their prey, denied them their food source, it was obvious to me now as I ducked and weaved from their onslaught that they hadn't just wanted a chat. They wanted revenge.

Who was I to deny them that? After what I had done to Bella earlier I deserved nothing less than to be ripped to shreds by a pair of rogue vampires.

I fought back, some part of me not completely resigned to my fate, but I couldn't put up much of a resistance. They were highly skilled, more so than I had believed they would be, and their fists rained down on me like sledgehammers.

I tried to absorb some of the confidence that exuded off of them in waves but it refused to take effect. My body rejected it and instead the flares of disappointment and self-loathing resurfaced.

I gasped, distracted for a few seconds, and the female was suddenly on my back. She wrapped her legs around my waist and, before I could shake her off, she sunk her fangs into my neck. I heard her laugh as she ripped the mouthful of granite flesh from my body.

The venom immediately made its presence known, sending shockwaves of pain throughout my whole body.

And, oh God, it hurt.

She laughed again and this time the male joined in with her, cracking his knuckles as he advanced. But I couldn't really care, I was in too much pain. How I was still standing, I had no idea.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" He smirked. "Anna has extremely potent venom, stronger than any we've come across in others of our kind. Isn't that right, love?"

I couldn't say anything, my whole body felt like it was shutting down.

"Tell him about your venom, Jaime. He'll enjoy that." She whispered this in my ear before grazing her teeth down the side of my face. "Jaime has what we like to call 'miracle' venom."

The smile was wiped from his face and suddenly I was falling forward, I didn't really understand what was happening. Jaime grabbed me and pulled my almost limp body to his chest, my head lolling against his hard chest.

"Kill him!" I heard him scream, his eyes eagerly drinking in the sight before him.

He took my left arm in his strong grip and pulled it to his face, nuzzling at it like a cat would and taking in my scent. I was powerless to resist. The pain from the venom was just too much for me.

He bit me then and I wished I could cry. The combination of his venom mixed with that of his mate sent agony coursing through my entire being.

He withdrew his fangs after a few seconds and I felt a great rush of fear go through me. It wasn't mine, I was beyond feeling anything other than the white hot agony at that moment. It must have been his.

I heard Anna scream and he released me. I was eye level with the ground before I even had chance to blink.

I could hear light footsteps and a whirlwind of emotions ravaged me, I smelt smoke in the air and the comforting scent of my family.

Alice was by my side then, and she rolled me onto my back. I could feel her fear. Was she scared of me? I hadn't done anything...Not really, I had only tried to kill Bella. Her new best friend and her closest brother's girlfriend. Was she scared that I would hurt her?

My eyes widened and I opened my mouth to speak, to apologise, to make futile promises about never hurting her but fire was suddenly coursing through my veins like a lava flow. My muscles started to painfully constrict and I could only let out a soft grunt.

I hope Alice understood.

I continued to fit on the floor, unable to control myself, as the case always seemed to be, and my unnecessary breaths came in short gasps. I was aware of my family crowding around me but all I could see was Alice.

Her beautiful, delicate face. It looked...worried? Why would she be? I was being punished, I was a monster and I deserved nothing but this torture. Couldn't she see that?

"Jasper." I heard another voice growl, the warning clear.

Oh, God. What had I done now? I hadn't spoken, I hadn't tried to move or hurt anyone. Not in the past few minutes, anyway. I had tried to hurt Bella. I had wanted to drink her blood. Oh, God. I'm sick.

The pain increased again and suddenly I found myself struggling against the darkness that threatened to consume me. My eyes began to drift shut, against my will, and I saw Alice's terrified face and I knew I should fight against this agony. I couldn't, I wasn't strong enough.

My world, for the first time in nearly a century and a half, went black.

--

The agony was still there when I awoke, though not as strong as it had been and for that I was thankful.

I was aware of the emotions around me before anything else. Love, happiness and the all consuming calm that tried to hide the tendrils of worry and fear. I wasn't fooled but I wasn't going to complain. These positive emotions were what I needed to fight against the pain that still consumed my body.

It took another few minutes to work out that I was being carried. My head was tucked into a hard chest with a strong arm supporting my back and the other under tucked under my knees. It reminded me of how a parent would carry a sleeping child, like I had once been carried all those years ago. I felt safe in these familiar arms and I could feel the protective instinct almost to the point I could touch it.

"He's awake."

We weren't moving anymore. I found that helped the pain and I was able to pry my eyes open. I blinked against the sudden light that assaulted me and was glad for the green canopy high above that only allowed the occasional beam of light to filter through.

The trees were high but the tops were not unreachable, I decided. I wonder what sight would greet me if I climbed up one? Maybe, Alice would like to join me. I would take her one day and find the highest tree and then jump from the uppermost branches just to feel the free-fall. Would that be enough to rid me of the pain I was feeling? Or would-.

"Jasper."

I blinked again and my gaze fell upon Emmett's smiling face. I let my eyes slide shut again, the sunlight that reflected from Emmett's glittering skin hurt.

"Move out of the light." I heard Edward say.

Thank you, I said with my mind, not entirely trusting my voice to speak.

"Its okay, Jasper." Edward said. "You're safe to open your eyes."

I did as he said and was thankful that it didn't hurt.

Emmett wasn't smiling anymore, he felt guilty. I pulled at the happiness that had enveloped me until a few moments ago and pushed it at him. I wasn't angry at him, I wasn't angry at anyone. Were they still angry with me? They had saved me...

"No one's angry at you." Edward murmured, not looking at me. "You acted on instinct, it wasn't your fault."

I nodded, though I didn't really accept it. I knew that nothing anyone said would stop me blaming myself. But, at that moment, what I had nearly done to Bella didn't seem so important. Everything was wrong.

I had been unconscious. Vampires didn't just black out, no matter how strong the venom was, and the weakness I was feeling now wasn't right. I shouldn't be here, nestled safely in Emmett's big, strong arms...

"Put me down." I ordered, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

I heard Edward chuckle as Emmett did as he was told, steadying me when it seemed that my knees were going to buckle.

Alice was at my side immediately, her hands touching me everywhere at once, checking that I really was still in one piece.

"I'm okay." I told her, trying to ignore the sting of her worry as it rolled into me.

"Like hell you are." She said, taking my hand in hers and giving it a squeeze. Her eyes were accusatory, "You scared me."

"I'm okay." I repeated, wanting nothing more than to drop her hand. Through contact the pain her worry caused increased but I didn't want to upset her. The other pain I had felt when I had awoken was a shadow of its former self and I was glad. This new pain was nothing compared to the absolute agony I had felt.

Rosalie was at my other side in an instant and she hooked an arm through mine, pulling Alice and I into a steady run, "Let's get you home, brother."

I was grateful for her then, the waves of calm she exuded flooding my senses. Rosalie, despite her constant temper tantrums and her vanity, was, surprisingly, a master of emotions and my anchor whenever I felt myself slipping. She was the only person other than Alice that I let myself rely upon. I had increasingly found myself loving her more than my sisters by blood, and what had once been a terrifying thought, now soothed me. I knew Rosalie would be there for me until the end of eternity.

"I need to get Bella home." Edward murmured, so low that I almost missed it.

"Bella?" I asked, stopping. "She's still there?"

Anger shot through me, stabbing at my insides, and suddenly I saw red.

"She's still in our house?!" I suddenly roared, unable to control the fury that boiled. "Infecting it with her stench, making it so hard not to-."

"Jasper." Alice whispered, tugging at my arm. Her worry combined with the anger made the pain in my stomach worse.

"No, Alice." I didn't look at her. "He needs to know how hard he's making it! Home is the only place we have, Edward! If we can't let ourselves go there then where do we have?"

Edward turned away and I could feel him trying to calm himself. I struggled from my wife and sister's grip, wanting nothing more than to rip off his head (didn't he understand what it was like not to be able to let go for even a second?), but as soon as I was free the anger faded and I fell to the mossy floor.

I took huge gulps of unneeded air, the sudden lack of emotion and pain leaving me shocked.

It then struck me what I said and I scrabbled to my feet, lacking any of my usual grace, and rushed to Edward.

"I'm sorry!" I said, my voice shaking. I felt disorientated and all control over my emotions I had had until this evening had disappeared. "Oh, God!"

Emmett grabbed me from behind before I could touch Edward and he pulled me to his chest. Calm flooded through me and I let myself collapse into my larger brother's grasp, grateful for him.

"You aren't angry." He said to me. "You didn't mean to say those things."

"No." I agreed. I opened my mouth to try and explain my hateful, horrible words but I couldn't.

"Rosalie." Edward murmured, fixing his eyes on her, as realisation rolled from him.

She met his gaze with a raised eyebrow, silently challenging him to say something. I didn't understand but I'm not too sure that I wanted to, I just wanted to feel peace.

"He's sensitive." Emmett told them. "So keep level-headed, okay?"

Alice was there then, her small hands cupping my face as she looked into my eyes, "They're stronger than before, aren't they?"

I nodded. The anger had not been mine but rather Rosalie's and it had been enough to send me into a rage. I couldn't remember a time when I have been so out of control of the emotions around me, I didn't understand. Had it something to do with the venom? Jaime had boasted about the pain his mate's venom could cause. Maybe the sensitivity of one's ability was another side-effect? But, what about Jaime's venom? The so-called 'miracle' venom, what was that capable of? The idea scared me more than I would ever be willing to admit.

"Did you kill them both?" I asked, all of a sudden desperate to know.

"The male escaped." Emmett admitted and disappointment permeated the calm. "Alice wouldn't let me go after him."

She rolled her eyes, "It wouldn't have ended well."

Emmett ignored her and set me down on my wobbly legs, "Can you walk?"

I nodded again, not comfortable with the weakness that had grown as the pain of the venom had faded. I took a few cautious steps before breaking out into a run. I was nowhere near my usual speed but still faster than a human, it was all I could manage. I ignored the concern that floated at me and the twinges of pain that accompanied it.

We didn't speak again until we reached the house but I was too exhausted to really care. My whole body trembled with the exertion of the journey home and I felt sick to my stomach.

Both Alice and Rosalie were at my side, each taking an arm and guiding me towards the backdoor.

It was dark now. I had barely noted the passage of time, all I could concentrate on was the calm and the fatigue I felt. It was alien to me after such a long passage of time and the call of sleep was terrifying. Vampires didn't need rest. What was happening to me?

"It's okay, Jasper." Edward said as he disappeared into the house. "Everything will be okay."

I was leaning more heavily on my wife and sister and they had just managed to get me to the couch before my legs gave out from under me. Alice still gripped my hand as I curled into myself.

"Jasper?" The terror Alice radiated caused agony once again, though, her confusion dimmed it somewhat.

My arms wound their way around my stomach, the area where the pain seemed to concentrate, and I clenched my eyes closed. I could feel the new emotions in the room. Shock. Worry. Fear. They, too, assaulted me and I couldn't help the whimper of pain that escaped.

"Please." I moaned, not able to cope with the renewed agony so close after the last. This was like nothing I had ever felt before, somehow stronger than it had been in the forest- the swirling emotion that surrounded me making everything spin.

There was movement around me and a pair of gentle hands deftly checked me but I was oblivious to everything but the constant stream of white hot agony. I think I may have gone into convulsions again but I couldn't be sure, I couldn't be sure of anything apart from at some point I must have blacked out again.

--

A/N- What did you think? Liked it? Loathed it? Want another chapter? Please review and let me know!