If you like Pina Colada's.
(this happens to be the result of a full fill personal add posting session on your favorite local BG&R Board, so I took Erica's and gave it a little spin. Now that I read it, it's sorta turning into the BG&R version of "You've got mail." Geeze, I can't seem to come up with an orginal idea of my own. *Shrug* can't win 'em all I guess. Hope you like it, R&R please, and as always, don't own 'em so don't hurt me ^_^)
Slate set down the phone and sighed; an all time low- putting and ad in the personal pages. She felt as if she were selling herself like so many cattle. She huffed down in the nearest recliner in her cozy, though most would call it small, apartment on the Quark compound and reflected for a moment. Her brow furrowed as she tugged absently at her earlobe. It was just the Neutronic Daily - and this was the twentieth consecutive Saturday night she had spent alone (a thought made worse by realizing that twenty Saturday's ago she had gone out to dinner with her mother.) She was just looking to get out of the compound for a change. Meet someone new. It wasn't that bad.
Was it?
Dwayne set down the phone and looked at it for a long moment. So they had found his match, a soul mate was Jim's words for it.
"She's perfect man, just put in her ad a few seconds ago." His voice was almost drowned out by the noise of fingers taping on keyboards all around him in the Neutronic Daily offices.
"Listen, Jim, I really appreciate all you're doing to get me a date, but you can consider the debt paid." Dwayne scratched his head and leaned up against the wall, he was doing his best not to get frustrated at his over zealous friend.
"Never man, you saved my life! You remember that gray foggy day when the war was still going on and we were down in the mess together eating grub and." Dwayne cut him off by jumping in with a subject change. Jim Douglas the third was a long winded (air supplied via lack cranial substance) aspiring novelist, who got stuck with the only job he could get writing part time and still indulge his typewriter and heat bill the other half of the time. the want ads. They used to serve together during the war, and a few of that old group still kept contact.
"So what have you dug up for me this time?" And he meant 'dug up' when he said it. Dwayne didn't even want to waste one moment thinking of the other bombs that Jim had dropped in his direction for the sake of his 'getting some action.'
"Give me some credit man," Jim said, feigning injury. "Listen to this- Physical Description: 5'1, slim, dark skinned, long, dark, wavy hair, hazel eyes..."
"With a oozing skin rash and a habit of drooling on herself?" Dwayne butted in quickly.
"Hey! That's in the past man, she sounded perfectly normal on the phone, the drooling wasn't that bad," Jim's voice rose defensively across the line; "and how was I supposed to know that that was the type of ointment that she meant? People but some pretty kinky stuff in these want ads!"
"And you know I'm not into that kinda thing and you still set me up with her? Along with countless others." Dwayne sighed and rubbed his temples. Sure, he had no better way to spend his leave than this, but it was getting out of hand. "Jim, I'm not going to let you be my personal dating service anymore."
"Okay," Jim said, with the tone of someone who was only pretending to surrender, "but how about going out with this one last one, just for old times sake?" Jim listened to what he hoped was thoughtful silence on the other end of the line for a moment. "Com'on man, I owe it to you. One last date and I'll consider my debt repaid."
"Well, since you put it that way, tell me a little more about her."
"I can't give you any names, you know that, but I can tell you that she claims to be a master of Kama Sutra." Jim tried to put a little mystery into his voice, and Dwayne pretended not to be as interested in that statement as he was.
"Jim, there's more to that than sex. It's an art." Dwayne sat down on the floor resignedly. At least this was getting a little exciting. "What else did she say?"
"Likes: Spicy foods, puzzles, deviations from anything normal, sports cars, math" Jim paused. "Hmmm, that's good for you man, good for you."
"Why do you say that?"
"Puzzles, that means she's lonely and desperate. Spicy foods equals good kisser," Dwayne jumped in on his list.
"Where do you get that from?!" He didn't know whether to laugh or be disgusted at Jim's extreme knowledge of the other sex.
"Man, everyone knows that. It's like, the birds and the bees, Romeo and Juliet, and chicks that dig spicy food are good kissers. Simple." Dwayne sat in a very puzzled silence as Jim went over the list "Deviations from normal, that one's easy, she's kinky. She likes sports cars, high speeds. need I say more? The math is a bummer though."
"What's wrong with liking math?"
"Well it's fine if you were the captain of you chess team in high school, but this is real life man." Jim waited for Dwayne to respond. "Dwayne? Man?" Silence. "Dude. you were captain of the chess team weren't you!" He exploded with laughter and Dwayne was glad no one could see him turn deep crimson.
"Jim, just give me her number and leave me alone." He could hear him still laughing over the phone, gasping between spurts.
"Yeah, just give me a minute to recoup."
(this happens to be the result of a full fill personal add posting session on your favorite local BG&R Board, so I took Erica's and gave it a little spin. Now that I read it, it's sorta turning into the BG&R version of "You've got mail." Geeze, I can't seem to come up with an orginal idea of my own. *Shrug* can't win 'em all I guess. Hope you like it, R&R please, and as always, don't own 'em so don't hurt me ^_^)
Slate set down the phone and sighed; an all time low- putting and ad in the personal pages. She felt as if she were selling herself like so many cattle. She huffed down in the nearest recliner in her cozy, though most would call it small, apartment on the Quark compound and reflected for a moment. Her brow furrowed as she tugged absently at her earlobe. It was just the Neutronic Daily - and this was the twentieth consecutive Saturday night she had spent alone (a thought made worse by realizing that twenty Saturday's ago she had gone out to dinner with her mother.) She was just looking to get out of the compound for a change. Meet someone new. It wasn't that bad.
Was it?
Dwayne set down the phone and looked at it for a long moment. So they had found his match, a soul mate was Jim's words for it.
"She's perfect man, just put in her ad a few seconds ago." His voice was almost drowned out by the noise of fingers taping on keyboards all around him in the Neutronic Daily offices.
"Listen, Jim, I really appreciate all you're doing to get me a date, but you can consider the debt paid." Dwayne scratched his head and leaned up against the wall, he was doing his best not to get frustrated at his over zealous friend.
"Never man, you saved my life! You remember that gray foggy day when the war was still going on and we were down in the mess together eating grub and." Dwayne cut him off by jumping in with a subject change. Jim Douglas the third was a long winded (air supplied via lack cranial substance) aspiring novelist, who got stuck with the only job he could get writing part time and still indulge his typewriter and heat bill the other half of the time. the want ads. They used to serve together during the war, and a few of that old group still kept contact.
"So what have you dug up for me this time?" And he meant 'dug up' when he said it. Dwayne didn't even want to waste one moment thinking of the other bombs that Jim had dropped in his direction for the sake of his 'getting some action.'
"Give me some credit man," Jim said, feigning injury. "Listen to this- Physical Description: 5'1, slim, dark skinned, long, dark, wavy hair, hazel eyes..."
"With a oozing skin rash and a habit of drooling on herself?" Dwayne butted in quickly.
"Hey! That's in the past man, she sounded perfectly normal on the phone, the drooling wasn't that bad," Jim's voice rose defensively across the line; "and how was I supposed to know that that was the type of ointment that she meant? People but some pretty kinky stuff in these want ads!"
"And you know I'm not into that kinda thing and you still set me up with her? Along with countless others." Dwayne sighed and rubbed his temples. Sure, he had no better way to spend his leave than this, but it was getting out of hand. "Jim, I'm not going to let you be my personal dating service anymore."
"Okay," Jim said, with the tone of someone who was only pretending to surrender, "but how about going out with this one last one, just for old times sake?" Jim listened to what he hoped was thoughtful silence on the other end of the line for a moment. "Com'on man, I owe it to you. One last date and I'll consider my debt repaid."
"Well, since you put it that way, tell me a little more about her."
"I can't give you any names, you know that, but I can tell you that she claims to be a master of Kama Sutra." Jim tried to put a little mystery into his voice, and Dwayne pretended not to be as interested in that statement as he was.
"Jim, there's more to that than sex. It's an art." Dwayne sat down on the floor resignedly. At least this was getting a little exciting. "What else did she say?"
"Likes: Spicy foods, puzzles, deviations from anything normal, sports cars, math" Jim paused. "Hmmm, that's good for you man, good for you."
"Why do you say that?"
"Puzzles, that means she's lonely and desperate. Spicy foods equals good kisser," Dwayne jumped in on his list.
"Where do you get that from?!" He didn't know whether to laugh or be disgusted at Jim's extreme knowledge of the other sex.
"Man, everyone knows that. It's like, the birds and the bees, Romeo and Juliet, and chicks that dig spicy food are good kissers. Simple." Dwayne sat in a very puzzled silence as Jim went over the list "Deviations from normal, that one's easy, she's kinky. She likes sports cars, high speeds. need I say more? The math is a bummer though."
"What's wrong with liking math?"
"Well it's fine if you were the captain of you chess team in high school, but this is real life man." Jim waited for Dwayne to respond. "Dwayne? Man?" Silence. "Dude. you were captain of the chess team weren't you!" He exploded with laughter and Dwayne was glad no one could see him turn deep crimson.
"Jim, just give me her number and leave me alone." He could hear him still laughing over the phone, gasping between spurts.
"Yeah, just give me a minute to recoup."