Never Give the RRA Coca-Cola… except in extreme circumstances.

Disclaimer: you know the drill; I don't own this so don't sue me

Summary: The RRA are back! But this time it's because of a little accident involving Josie, Voldy and a heck of a lot of cola. This started off as a random fan fiction, but then spiralled out of control when L.C gave me permission to let the RRA make things interesting in the Merlin world. She then said and I quote; "VOLDY! I DEMAND THAT THE RRA MUST HAVE DEMENTED FUN WITH MERLIN!!!!!!" This is what happens when the RRA are let loose in Camelot. Chaos, mayhem and, unsurprisingly, magic, ensue.

…

"Merlin!"

The Prince's manservant practically fell into the room after walking into the door.

"You bellowed?" he asked sarcastically, clutching his head.

"Honestly, Merlin you could walk the clumsiest servant competition," Arthur rolled his eyes, "Where're my boots?"

"By the bed where I left them this morning." Merlin replied.

"No, by the bed where I left them last night." Arthur corrected, "Why are they still covered in mud?"

"I cleaned them!" Merlin insisted, "I put them there this morning –"

The door burst open and Morgana strode in towing a new servant behind her.

"What is the meaning of this?" she demanded, "Why on earth did you send me a message saying that girls are useless?"

"What?" Arthur exclaimed, "I never –"

"You did!" the servant exclaimed, "You came up to me and told me to deliver this," she brandished the offending paper, "to the Lady Morgana,"

"You're lying!" Arthur growled.

"Am not!"

"Are to!"

"Am not!"

SMASH!!!

The window shattered and a load of girls came swinging in on ropes.

"Voldy, I thought you said you were going to get us in?" one of them demanded, brushing the glass off her cat suit.

"Yeah, sis, what took you so long?"

"Voldy" shrugged.

"How the hell am I supposed to get you guys in when I've been dragged off my Morgana after delivering a message from Le Grande Prat over there?" She gestured to Arthur, who glared at her but, owing to the fact that the girls had swamped him, was unable to say anything.

"Who are you?" Merlin asked.

"I'm Voldy," Voldy replied, "This is L.C, Josie, Mysty (my sister), Lolly, Zara, Foxy, Soapy, Mira, Paula, Vicky, Cee, Deannie and TVNut. We are the RRA."

This didn't mean anything to the wizard and his friends.

"Umm… Voldy, they don't know what it means," Josie muttered, "We are the Robin's Revenge Army," Merlin, Arthur and Morgana still just stared at them blankly.

"Never mind," L.C shrugged, "We're here to punish, maim, torture and generally scare and annoy your enemies, because Voldy won't let us do it to you." She glared at Voldy.

"Basically, we're here for work experience," Voldy explained, "And I never said you couldn't do it to Arthur, just not Merlin. The ban from Arthur-torturing was Mysty's idea"

They all glared at Mysty.

"What?" Mysty asked, "Do you want the wrath of thousands of fan-girls raining down on us all?"

"It'd be worth it!" Zara replied.

"You weren't there when Voldy unleashed the fan-girls on Faye, though." Mysty counteracted.

Every single member of the RRA shuddered except Voldy, who grinned evilly.

"I think I know what I want to do first…" she muttered before being smothered by the other members of the RRA.

"Don't even think about it," Paula growled, "Last time that happened you ended up bringing the Daleks into HQ by mistake!"

Underneath the pile, Voldy snickered and mumbled something.

"Sorry? I didn't catch that." Cee commented, "Everybody up before she suffocates." They all stood up so that Voldy could breath.

"What were you saying?" Mira asked.

Voldy coughed. "I was saying that it got the job done, at least."

"We said we were going to knock a wall through, we never said we wanted you to inflict the Daleks on it!" L.C shot back.

"You just said you wanted it done, you never specified how!" Voldy insisted; this caused a massive screaming match on the part of the girls and thoroughly terrified looks on the part of everyone else.

"SHUT UP!" Lolly screamed, causing everyone to fall silent, "Where's that evil witch person that you guys told us so much about?"

"Nimueh?" Voldy asked, "She got killed at the end of the series, didn't she?"

"Yeah," Mysty replied, casting dark looks at Merlin, "Pity, I wanted to do it."

"How did you get here?" Arthur demanded.

"I believe they swung through your now shattered window," Voldy replied, "But if you want to know how we got into Camelot, we got here by TARDIS."

"By what?" Merlin asked.

"Well, actually, we were trying to get to Nottingham, but someone decided to push random buttons," Mysty glared at her sister.

"You shouldn't have given me Cola then."

"We didn't!" L.C replied, "You and Josie drank three bottles each!"

Josie, as if on cue, giggled hyperly.

"Right. This really isn't getting us anywhere," Paula sighed, "Let's start with food."

"Yeah, I'm starving!" Voldy agreed, "Where can we get some food around here?"

…

"You call this food?"

The RRA glanced in disgust at the food being prepared in the castle kitchen.

"Where's the proper food?" Josie asked.

"I think that this is proper food to them," Voldy replied, picking up an apple and biting into it.

The girls all pulled faces.

"I'm bored" Mysty announced, "What can we do?"

"Ooh! Can we go stair-surfing?" Voldy asked

"No!" Mira snapped in reply, "You are under no circumstances introducing stair-surfing, skateboarding or any other thing accept walking. And that's final."

Voldy sulked.

"What's –"

The girls quickly silenced Merlin.

"You don't want to know," L.C replied, "As in really don't want to know."

"Hey! Guys! Have a look at this!" they all trouped over to where Josie was examining the floor.

"I believe they call them flagstones, Josie," Voldy commented, the whole three litre-bottles of Coca-cola wearing off rapidly, "What's so interesting about the floor?"

Josie pointed at the spiders that were scurrying along on the floor. The whole of the RRA (with the exceptions of Josie who was too hyper to notice what they were and Voldy who was only scared of Aragog because he was what she called "Mahoosive") shrieked and ran from the kitchen as fast as they could.

"What?" Merlin asked. Voldy and Josie looked at him.

"Y'know, Voldy, I don't think he's ever heard of an acromantula" Josie commented.

…

"For the last time, NO!"

"Aw… C'mon! Please?"

"NO!" the RRA shouted back at Josie, Voldy and now Paula, who had recently joined the ranks of the hyper after Josie and Voldy had force-fed – I mean, persuaded – Coca-cola down Paula's throat. What they were arguing about was stair-surfing.

Josie suddenly grabbed Paula and Voldy and started muttering to them in manic sugar-overdosed English; the three giggled like maniacs.

"I don't see why you're trying to stop them," Arthur commented to L.C, "I mean, if they break an arm then they'll learn their lesson, right?"

L.C snorted. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," she replied.

"Yeah, they've done this in Nottingham, at least five times," TVNut chipped in, "They still haven't worked out why they break bones, although they've only ever broken other peoples' bones so…"

"Hang on," Soapy suddenly stopped in mid-stride, "Where're –?"

"Paula, Josie and Voldy?" Foxy finished. Everyone turned round and saw that they weren't there. The RRA groaned in disbelief.

"Lookout below!"

Everybody ducked as the three girls swooped down on a big gold lizard thing, still giggling like the insane lunatics they were.

Moments later, Uther came running out, "Stop them!" he shouted, "They've released the dragon!"

Once again, a groan from the RRA.

"Voldy! Josie! Paula! Get down here right now!" Mysty and L.C screamed, ducking as the dragon swooped down again.

"Righto mon capitan!" Voldy replied jovially, steering the dragon down into the courtyard.

"How the hell'd you release it anyway?" Zara asked, "I'm so flying dragon-air from now on!"

The RRA all proceeded to argue about who got first dibs on the dragon-ride, until Lolly shouted "SHUT UP!" causing everyone to fall silent.

"There should be enough room for thirteen," Josie said, grinning wildly.

"Don't I get a say in this?" the dragon asked.

"NO!" the RRA replied as they all swung on for the joyride.

"Going up!" Voldy shouted, shoving a bottle of Cola into the Dragons mouth and giving it a sufficient energy boost to propel itself into the air before Uther could do anything about it.

Unfortunately for the RRA, the means by which Josie, Paula and Voldy had got the dragon out in the first place had been Cola and the Dragon, bless him, was a bit hyperactive.

SMASH!!!! One of the castle turrets had been broken.

"Whoops!" Paula giggled.

"You'll pay for that!" Uther yelled, seemingly oblivious to the fact that his son and his son's manservant were doubled over laughing.

"Are we bovvered?" L.C called over the side of the dragon as it crashed into yet another turret. Mysty pulled a large bottle of Fanta out of her bag and downed it in one before starting to shake violently.

"Umm… Voldy?" Mira asked, looking at Mysty with a weird expression on her face, "Your sister's shaking."

"Oh god," Voldy replied, "How much Fanta did she have?"

"The whole bottle."

"Dammit!" Voldy exclaimed as the Dragon successfully trashed two more Turrets and was headed for a fifth, "Everybody out! Going down!"

The dragon nose-dived back to the courtyard, but not before it completely and utterly ruined a fifth turret, showering rocks everywhere.

"Everybody run!" Voldy bellowed as the dragon made its way into the courtyard, "Mysty's gone hyper!"

No-one seemed to understand how bad this was, but they cleared out of the way so that the dragon could land and the girls could dismount.

As it turned out, Mysty's hyperness had a knock-on affect on L.C, Soapy, Cee and Mira, and they were all soon giggling like lunatics and disappearing together.

"What do we do now?" Foxy asked, staring after the five as they ran off giggling crazily.

"Leave them," Voldy replied, waving her hand, "They'll be back in a few hours when Mysty's giggly-ness wears off,"

"How long will that be?" TVNut asked.

Voldy shrugged, "I give them until the morning. It's getting dark." They all trouped off to their TARDIS for some sleep.

…

Well, that's it for now! (dodges pitchforks) okay it sucked, but I kind of had to get it up ASAP before L.C started killing me (dodges Weasley twins) I DIDN'T MEAN IT L.C!!!!

Anyways. If you liked it, review. If you have constructive criticism, review. If you want to flame it – don't, you'll just be ignored.

Have a nice time reviewing! Hint hint!