Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight Saga.

Chapter Four: Leah Clearwater Meets Online Dating

...

Rachel Black had been a dear friend to me all my life. We had grown up together, laughed together, cried together, and most importantly – due to her rather unfortunate imprint on Paul – she knew my greatest secret. Meaning that I'm a wolf. Thankfully not the secret that I was currently checking out her little brother who was play-wrestling with Embry and Quil in the backyard across from us while she and I sat at the family picnic table pretending that I was watching their grappling for fighting pointers. Pfft, like I'd need any of those.

"You're having such terrible luck," Rachel said somberly as I blocked another one of Taylor's calls.

I shoved a handful of chips into my mouth and tried to appear nonchalant. "Water off a ducks back," I said to her, when really I was watching the beads of sweat and light rain drizzle roll off the perfectly shaped muscles of Jacobs back, down his spine, as he wrestled Embry into submission. I bit my lip and felt my eyes glaze over.

I blinked, shook my head and chastised myself. What the hell is wrong with me lately?

It was rare I got to see Rachel like this. There was still a pretty big riff between Jacob's pack and Sam's, both Alphas seemed to find it impossible not to butt heads when they were in the same vicinity. It was a strange feeling that arose from Jake when he thought about it, like an animalistic impulse. Billy had said that there was never meant to be two Alphas, so it was pretty stock standard as far as supernatural hierarchy goes. Sam's pack had become a bit more hostile since Jacob had broken his imprint, like he had inadvertently pissed on their grandmother's graves or something. From what she understood from Rachel, it made them nervous to think that something that is so important to them could be so easily cast aside. To me it made sense, I mean, he was the rightful Alpha. He could do anything he put his mind to.

Jacob and Renesmee would never have worked anyway. And not even for the obvious reasons of the Cold Ones being our natural enemy and it being just totally gross, though that alone should have been enough. He would have never been happy. Jacob's not the immortal kind, he was not made to wander aimlessly through the centuries. If he were to live forever, he would lose his wild spark. His lust for life. He knew he belonged here, with his pack, with his family. To leave it all behind would of devastated him, in a way he wasn't sure he could recover from.

"Leah, did you hear me?"

I snapped my attention back to Rachel. "Sorry, what?"

From you look on her face, she seemed a little suspicious. "I said, I have a college friend from Seattle that I think would be perfect for you. Can I set you up?" Her eyes glittered at the prospect of playing matchmaker. When she saw I was hardly paying attention again, she led off suggestively. "Unless you maybe have someone else in mind…?"

My eyes snapped back to her again, slightly panicked. "What? No!" I cleared my throat and attempted to sound slightly less frazzled by the comment. "No, I don't have anyone in mind."

She gave me a thoughtful look. "You don't have to have your guard up all the time, you know."

I sighed. She was right. But it was like it was programmed into me now.

Ever since Sam had left me for Emily, I'd used my walls to keep everyone out. When I'd become a wolf, I was sick of everyone seeing me as weak. Pathetic. My tongue became a bit more barbed, my thoughts a bit more unwelcoming, until it became second nature. A defense mechanism. If you don't let it touch you, it doesn't hurt as much. Becoming a part of Jacob's pack, him trusting me to be his Beta, it meant a lot. More than I was capable of expressing at the time. It had soothed me, it felt right. Like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

"It was nice of you to let the boys move in," Rachel commented.

I looked to the three of them a tad affectionately. "Didn't have much of a choice," I said flatly.

She laughed. And then she watched me, watching them.

"You going to have a spar?" she asked innocently.

I almost snorted. "No way could I take them in human form. Their all huge. As a wolf, on the other hand…"

I raised my eyebrows at the prospect, leveling the playing field of their strength with my superior speed. It made me a little smug knowing that I could fend for myself in that department. Even though there hadn't been any vampire activity in a while, it was important that the pack stay strong. The Cullen's had warned us that the coven from Italy might make a reappearance, and that their pixie-haired fortune teller had her eye on it. Even though we were the smaller pack, I had no doubt that we were the strongest, because we had a true leader. A leader that was fair, and kind, and honest, and had the most delicious smell and biggest–

STOP.

Jesus Christ, if I didn't get this shit under control I wouldn't be able to phase without everyone getting front row seats to my ridiculously embarrassing thoughts.

The way Rachel was eyeing me, it almost made me worried that she could read my mind.

"Leah, when was the last time you, you know…" she trailed off suggestively.

If it was anyone but Rachel asking, I would of socked them in the mouth. I pursed my lips glumly. "A while."

"What's a while?"

I felt a burn in my face, and I kept my voice down so supernatural ears couldn't hear. "A damn while, okay?"

She gasped, bring a hand up to her face. "Sam?" she mouthed in silent horror.

I nodded. Her eyes widened and she started biting her fingernail, something she liked to do when she had nothing else to say.

"Did you expect a different answer from all my amazing dates?" I asked sarcastically.

"No… but yes, I mean…"

I suppose I knew what she was getting at. Sam and I ended almost three years ago now. It seemed silly to still have him be the last person to touch me. And I mean actually touch me. Obviously, in these past years, I had developed something of a reputation in our small Rez. No one would want to touch the girl running around with delinquent gangs, and appearing with multiple members of the opposite sex from the woods covered in dirt in various stages of undress. Not even with a ten-foot pole. I mean, I had probably been the victim of the most tongue-wagging out of this whole wolfie situation. People liked to gossip, and the rumours about me weren't in short supply.

It still makes me chuckle to this day reliving the story in Embry's head of when he had heard about these speculations firsthand from some old school chums and proceeded to give each of them a black eye. Only added fuel to the fire, of course, and he was reprimanded by Sam who didn't want Embry losing control of his wolf form among humans, or underestimating his strength and really hurting someone. He ran double patrols for a week.

"Its fine," I lied to Rachel, like I didn't have a functioning vagina.

Which I probably don't, but that a whole other ballgame.

"Have you tried online?" Rachel questioned.

"What, where all the weirdos are?"

She rolled her eyes. "It's a totally normal, regular, human way to meet people nowadays."

"Yeah, if you're a serial killer," I'd been entirely distracted and didn't see Jacob walk up with Embry and Quil in tow. He had his hands on his hips in a relaxed resting position, since werewolf stamina would hardly have us out of breath, and he was looking at his sister disapprovingly.

It was funny, because Rachel still looked at Jacob like he was her annoying little brother. "What would you have her do, go around sniffing butts?"

Jacob had his mouth open, ready with a witty reply, when it suddenly snapped shut and he swiftly turned heel towards to forest behind him. Embry and Quil did the same, both drawing back to allow Jake to take the frontmost position. I found myself having leapt to my feet beside them without having thought about it, my senses on high alert, taking my place to the left side of Jacob. We all felt it, a shift of energy, a ripple that sent our senses on alert.

"What?" Rachel looked around, puzzled. "What?"

I took a deep breath of the air and almost groaned aloud. Sam.

I could feel Jacob bristling. And lo-and-behold our old Alpha emerges from the trees, flanked by Jared and Paul, all shockingly in their human bodies.

"Oh. Hey, babe!" Rachel called, oblivious, or maybe just choosing to ignore, the hostility.

Paul lifted his arm halfway in a quick, awkward wave.

"I need to speak with you, Jacob," Sam said.

I could sense Quil and Embry quivering from behind us. It would of almost been distracting, if it wasn't for Jacob who was completely still, calm and firm. But I knew he was ready to phase without a second thought. "Anything you have to say to me, you can say to my pack."

Sam was annoyed. "Fine," he closed his eyes and paused before speaking his next words. "How could you allow this Jacob? How could you let her run all over the place with these men, like some sort of street walker? Bars, clubs, jail, just what the hell are you thinking? You are suppose to be keeping her safe!"

It took half a second for me to acknowledge and process that he was talking about me.

Sam. Talking about me. The fucking monster balls he must have talking about me like I'm not standing right here! There was no way Sam could have heard the details through the grapevine, I had only just finished telling Rachel and the packs weren't exactly friendly right now. The only way he could possibly know what was going on was…

My jaw dropped open. Oh hell no. "Have you been following me?"

Sam's attention snapped to me like he was just realising I was standing right fucking here. "I was keeping you safe! I was always keeping you safe. And then you left–"

"Leah isn't yours anymore," Jacobs eyes had narrowed into slits. "She is free to do what makes her happy. Not you or anyone else can control her. Not anymore. Not while I'm here."

I swallowed hard. It was difficult for me to admit that Jacob's voice had made me a little weak at the knees. Okay, maybe more than a little. I sent out another grateful prayer into the universe that we were all human and no one had access to my brain right now. I'd never be able to live down the swoon-worthy thoughts my head was concocting at this very minute, so I tried outrageously hard to fill it with images of ripping my ex-boyfriend a shiny new asshole.

"Show yourself some respect, Leah," Sam growled. "You know what people are saying."

"They've been saying it for years!" I spat. I was just in complete and total disbelief that this shit was actually happening. Even Paul and Jared looked uncomfortable, which was saying something. Like they knew that Sam was crossing some sort of definitive line in the sand. "What the fuck is your problem?"

Sam took another step forward. "You're making a fool out of yourself!"

I took a step forward. "You're making a fool out of yourself!" I made a shooing gesture with my hands, as condescending as possible. "Go home to your imprint, Uley. I left your pack, you're not my keeper and I don't care about your shitty opinions."

Jeez, what the hell did I ever see in this guy?

Sam looked angry. So angry. Almost as angry as the day he lost control and gave Emily her scars. Jared placed a calculated hand on Sam's shoulder, but he shook it off, shaking in rage. He was going to phase. I was surprised that he hadn't already. "Sam, no, don't–" Jared started to say, but it was too late, the words were already flying out of Sam's mouth like a punch, he had no control over them.

"No! You can't do this. You're mine! You can't just go, you can't leave. I need you!"

And then Sam exploded, into the hulking black wolf we all recognised. It was like a chain reaction. The second the ripple of the change surged through Sam, Jacob was prepared. He was already in his russet form before Sam's paws had hit the ground, followed by me and Embry and Quil and every other wolf that made up this freakin' bizarre-o party in my backyard.

The first thing I sensed was Jacob's fury. Of his urge to fight. His need to protect.

In that instant I could feel how strong his urge was to be the Alpha. To challenge his competitor.

Then I heard him direct his thoughts at Sam.

You're out of line, Sam. Leah doesn't owe you a goddamn thing and if you know what's good for you, you'll take your pack and leave right now before I teach you some respect.

It would never stop being strange, looking at Sam, Paul and Jared in wolf forms and not hearing them. Sam had lost control, and didn't have full influence of what Jacob could see and hear from him through their Alpha link. Through Jacob, we felt Sam's pain. No, the anguish when he had realized I had left his pack and followed Jacob. The sleepless nights he spent in bed next to my cousin, trying to come to terms with the fact that I was truly gone, and the sliver of claim I still had on his heart was broken. Ordering the younger wolf pups to keep an eye on me, following me to the grocery store, watching me from a distance, report back to him. The replay of him dumping me danced through his mind, and I saw the human version of myself shattered as he could not explain to me why. Couldn't explain that his gravity had shifted. Couldn't explain what he was. But I'll always keep her safe, he thought at the time, as the sobbing figure of my past self ran from him. I'll keep her safe.

And then it flashed forward to when he learnt I had first phased, and my father died. Pure shock. Pure relief. I was back in his life. The embodiment of his free will and humanity. I would know the truth now, and I would always be his.

It had all flashed through in mere moments. Sam regained control and the walls came up. His emotions were gone.

What… in the holy hell? Embry thought slowly. Honestly, I probably couldn't of said it better myself. I could have been a glorified wolf statue with how rigid and dumbfounded I felt. That after everything he put me through, Sam still believed he had some kind of claim to me.

But he didn't. Not anymore. There would always be some part of me that felt something for Sam Uley. He was my first love. I took pity on him in this moment, because even after everything that's happened Sam hadn't healed. And I had. There was a time where what Sam thought of me would of stabbed me like a stake through the heart. I knew now his words today came from a place of pain that I was all too familiar with, and past-Leah would have done anything to take that away for him, including rejoining his pack. But despite everything the two of us had been through together, Jacob ignited a loyalty in me that wouldn't falter, and I'd stand by his side until the end. Even if it was against Sam.

I need her, we heard Sam say through Jacob. It sounded desperate. A plea.

Jacob towered over Sam, and I felt him swell with pride. She doesn't need you.

And in an absolute bomb-ass move, Jacob phased back. His naked human body squared up against Sam's wolf form, the ultimate power move. He showed everyone he thought Sam was too weak to fight him, unworthy of his time. He stared the black wolf down and did not waver.

"Go home, Sam. This conversation is over."

Sam was very still, and I didn't realise I was holding my breath. Then Paul and Jared retreated into the tree line. Sam broke his stare with Jacob and looked at me. His black eyes bore into mine, but I could not feel him. Couldn't hear his voice. I could only feel the large warmth that was growing in my stomach, what I could acknowledge as gratitude and delight. I did not want Sam to suffer. But it sure as hell felt good having Jacob put him in his place. Then Sam turned and left, following his packmates into the forest.

It seemed like everything had come to a standstill. Even though I couldn't hear Jacob in his human form, I could feel Embry and Quil's minds reeling. Quil was rerunning a memory he had seen from Jacob, of him pulling my old date Michael aside in my living room, and telling him if he doesn't treat me right that he'd see to it that he'd be drinking hamburgers through a straw for a few months.

Jake keeps Leah plenty safe, Quil mulled over the memory. Then shot me a look, his ears pinned to the back of his head and his tail dropped between his legs, preparing for a reprimand. Not that you need anyone to do that for you.

But I was feeling too pleased to even be a little annoyed. I wasn't even irritated that Jacob has spoken for me. He knew me so well, and he knew just what to say to make me feel completely valued. I could still hear Quil and Embry buzzing in my mind, on how they kinda wanted Jacob and Sam to fight. I looked to Jacob, who hadn't yet taken his eyes of the space where Sam had withdrawn through the trees until he was certain the threat was gone. Then he glanced to his left, at me.

I felt a kind of peace. Thank you.

Jacob reached out and placed his warm hand on my neck, his fingers ran lightly through my fur.

"Ahem," Rachel was still standing by the picnic table. I'd almost forgotten she was here. "Uh, what just happened?" Her hand was covering her eyes, but I could tell that she was rolling them. "And for god's sake, Jake, put on some clothes!"

…

Seth had returned from the corner store that he was working at part-time with hotdogs and some interesting stories to catch up on. He listened to Quil retell the afternoon with disbelief in his eyes, as he watched me stewing in the corner. My inner peace had died down and now I was just annoyed at myself for not sensing Sam had been having the younger wolves follow me. How could I have been so oblivious?

I spent the rest of the day trying not to overthink. Rachel had gone home, but not before she had installed some superficial dating app on my phone. I could tell that she felt bad, being caught in the middle of her family and her imprint. Seth had tried to make me feel better, but he and Embry had to leave for patrol, which didn't give him a lot of time to attempt to get me to crack a smile. Bless that kid. Quil left with them, claiming he was going to babysit Claire for the evening. I'm sure it was because he didn't feel like walking on eggshells, and he had no one else around to act as a buffer if I were to snap. Smart move, really.

It was just me and Jacob, and a huge effing weight on my chest I was trying desperately to ignore.

I'd been pacing around the house for a while before I perched myself on the porch railing outside. Jacob was tinkering with the engine of the Rabbit. He had barely looked at me since Sam left, he hadn't said a word, and it was driving me crazy.

I scrunched up my eyes and ripped off the Band-Aid. "Jake," I blurted out. "I'm sorry!"

He glanced over his shoulder, clearly taken aback, and even I was amazed the words left my mouth. He had a grease smudge on his forehead. He started slowly wiping his hands on an old rag while observing me carefully with a slight pucker on his brow and crinkle in his nose. His silence was killing me, so I started vomiting out more words.

"I'm so ashamed, okay? Maybe Sam was right. Maybe I am making a fool out of myself. And I'm so grateful you said what you said. I really am. But I don't want anyone thinking that my stupid behaviour is a reflection of you, because you're a great Alpha." I hung my head so I didn't have to look at him. "I'm not worthy to be your Beta." I felt my eyes kind of mist up. The last thing I'd wanted was to disappoint Jake.

When he didn't speak, I took a cautious peak beneath my lashes.

"Leah," he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, exasperated. "Shut up,"

Okay. That irked me. "What?"

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he walked up and leant on the railing beside me. I opened my mouth to protest with what I could only expect was more word vomit, but he beat me to it. "Sam was a dick today. That's a reflection of him, not me. And not you. There's nothing wrong with wanting a life outside the pack. I'm not going to punish you for that. After all these years, after everything you've been through, you deserve better."

I didn't have any words, but it felt like something had lodged itself in my throat.

I looked at Jacob. I mean really looked at him. He was so much more than a handsome face. He seemed tired from sleepless nights patrolling, worrying. Long days working in the town garage and taking Billy to his doctor's appointments, the grocery store, council meetings. He'd had a bit more help now that Rachel was back. But for a long time Jacob had his Dad and school, not to mention vampires, the pack, a wayward vampire-loving pre-Madonna and all the extra drama that came with it piled on top of his shoulders. Jacob Black had been through a lot as well.

"You deserve better too, Jake," I whispered.

Jacob smiled at me and then huffed out a big gust of air, folding his arms to his chest. It had started to rain softly; the sound was pretty calming. "I would have challenged him today," he admitted solemnly. "Taken claim on both packs. End this petty feud and bring all our brothers together again," Jacob said, his eyes distant. "But I was too angry with the things he was thinking. I knew if I fought him, I might kill him."

I was shocked by his words, but I understood. The wolf instincts took over sometimes when emotions were running high, and even the best of us would struggle to control it. My mouth felt dry. "So how did you stop it? Why didn't you fight him?"

Jacob stood in front of me, the extra height I got from the porch almost made us eyelevel. He placed his hands on both my shoulders. "You, Leah," he said earnestly. "I could feel you beside me. And Embry and Quil. You were all ready to fight by my side. The guys were just as mad at Sam for what he said. But you… you showed mercy. Understanding. You brought me back down to Earth." Jake lifted me off the railing and set me down on the ground. It was a funny feeling how he could make me feel so small and delicate, when I was everything but. He nudged me playfully, his gaze soft. "You're a better Beta than you give yourself credit for."

I breathed a light sigh and my face flushed as I looked up at him. I didn't know what to say. After being known as the bitter harpy for so long, it was a breath of fresh air feeling like I'd done something nice for a change.

"You should do it, though," I said. "Obviously I don't want Sam to die. But you're ready, Jake. The packs need to be one again. You can feel it, it's not right having us apart. I know you won't hurt Sam if he submits." I placed a hand to his chest. "We're stronger with you. You are the true Alpha. You're ready."

He had been afraid of his birthright for so long, I think he needed to hear the words out loud. Jacob saw me completely, and I saw him. We had both spent so much time running, it felt almost alien to finally be standing still. The rain fell on us, but I hardly felt it.

Annnnnd, the moment was over with a high-pitched chime coming from my phone.

Both our attentions snapped to the lit-up screen balanced on the railing alongside us.

"Leah, what's that?" Jacob smirked.

I flushed a deeper shade of red and wanted the ground to swallow me. I rubbed my eyes, feeling the stress collecting behind them. "The dating app your sister put on my phone." I didn't want to admit it.

His eyebrows shot up and he pulled a mocking shocked face. "The one with the serial killers?"

I threw my hands up in the air. "She made me a profile! I haven't even opened it yet, okay?"

Jacob bit his lip and grinned deviously.

I leant back, immediately suspicious. "What?"

"C'mon!" he threw me over his shoulder, snatched my phone and marched us into the house. "Enough with the serious."

"Jake! What the hell!" I cried, as he unceremoniously dumped me onto the couch.

He sat next to me and wiggled his eyebrows. "This does look like it'll be worth the laugh," he said, as he dangled my phone in front of my face.

I tried hard not to smile. "No!"

"Yes."

"You don't actually mean it."

"Oh, I do," He opened the app and showed me the first profile to pop up. He cracked a huge grin and started nodding enthusiastically in feign approval. "Oh yeah. This one. 'Long walks on the beach. Looking for a partner in crime. Severely allergic and hates dogs–'"

"No!" I pried the phone from his hand in disbelief, both of us laughing.

I had no idea how much time past. We had had curled up on the seat, cackling uncontrollably as we swiped. My back was leaning against Jacob, as he was holding the phone out in front of me so we both had a good view.

We paused on a guy with an excessive amount of back hair in speedos, the photo looked like it was taken in an old woman's living room. "He looks…" I cocked my head to the side. "Like a yeti."

"Like your one to talk, Leah."

I nudged my shoulder into him and shook my head.

I heard footsteps coming from the backyard. Wolf senses kicked in. I knew Jacob sensed it too, but we could tell almost immediately that it was Seth and Embry back from patrol, so we weren't worried. From the sound of it they'd swung by to get Quil along the way, which made sense because he and I were up to replace them for the evening shift. By the time they made it into the house we could hear them talking and bantering with mirth, being their rowdy selves. Even though I'd hate to admit it, their presence in the Clearwater household had really breathed life into the place again. Like when my Dad was still with us.

I didn't want things to look weird, so I cleared my throat and took a big scoot away from Jacob, pretending I was leaning to the far end of the sofa for a large stretch.

"Well, that's my cue," I said, standing as my brother and the rest of our pack entered the room. "Ready Quil?"

I could tell they were surprised by how calm I seemed. Hell, I was surprised. Quil was shocked, but I could sense his relief that sharing my headspace tonight might not be such a terrible place to be. "Uh, yeah, for sure."

I went to walk away, and I felt Jacob tug me back. He'd grabbed my hand. When I turned to face him, the playfulness we had experienced was gone. Seth, Embry and Quil were quite too, we could all feel the shift in our Alphas energy. He let go of my hand.

Jake squared his shoulders and looked each of the guys in the eye before landing on me.

"I'm going to challenge Sam for Alpha, and I'm going to rule the packs."

Wow, yeah I know! Been a while. I hope you enjoyed!

Hazel-Buttafly