Title: Reclaiming our Vows
Author: Renai-chan
Disclaimer: Harry Potter does in no way belong to me nor do I claim in any way that it does. I am merely using the characters to fulfill my twisted imagination.
Genre: Romance/Angst
Rating: T
Pairings: RLxSB, RLxSS
Summary: After Sirius had returned from Azkaban, he found that Remus hadn't welcomed him back with open arms. Now he's determined to win Remus back from his worst enemy.
Authors' Notes: I am generally a humor-loving girl. But when this idea popped into my head, I just couldn't let it go. I'll try my best to write a good angsty fic =)
Warnings: SLASH, SLASH AND MORE SLASHY-SLASH-SLASHY GOODNESS ALL AROUND. Consider yourselves warned.

Enjoy!

Sirius fidgeted uncomfortably as he stood in front of a door that he knew led into a dingy apartment. No, he wasn't stuck up enough to say that he was uncomfortable because of the poor surroundings, such as the muggle hobo lying on the pavement as he went in or the cracked and peeling wallpaper in the dimly-lit, dank hallway. Azkaban had wiped him of any trace of snobbishness that came with being a Black. Besides, it would be rather hypocritical of him, considering he himself was not dressed to impress.

His once rugged good looks and rippling muscles were now replaced by an overgrowth of black stubble, gaunt and hollowed cheeks and a thin and haggard frame. He still wore the clothing prescribed by the Azkaban warden, seeing as the events of the past few weeks did not give him to opportunity to change or, at the very least, shower. The closest he came was a heavy rainstorm in the Forbidden Forest that he and Buckbeak had to endure. Dumbledore's sending him here would be a very welcomed relief and would give him the chance to get re-acquainted with the comforts of home.

Nevertheless, the nervousness he felt could not be willed away by the thoughts of a warm bath and good food.

With a tentative raise of his hand, his knuckled sharply rapped on the door. It wasn't even a moment later when the door opened, revealing the source of Sirius's discomfiture.

"Good evening, Sirius" Remus murmured. So softly, that Sirius had to strain his ears and watch the smaller man's lips to understand him. He nodded in reply but said nothing. They stood that way for quite a while, simply staring at each other and recollecting the memories of old times that they once happily shared before discarding them in favor of reality. Finally, Remus stepped aside to allow Sirius in. "Albus told me you will be coming. Please, make yourself comfortable." Sirius nodded once again and crossed the threshold.

The apartment was all that he predicted it to be. Small, dilapidated and shabby, despite Remus's apparent best efforts at keeping it neat and tidy. The entire place was just one room with an attached bathroom. The living room was also the bedroom as the couch folded out into a bed. The kitchen had only a small stove to cook, an old refrigerator and a sink to wash up. The dining table, within the same vicinity as the kitchen, was composed of only a small table and two chairs. The bathroom was hardly noteworthy; there was no bathtub, only a shower and a lavatory. Everything was sparsely furnished except for the only luxury Remus had. A tall shelf filled to the brim and overflowing with books of every sort.

"It's not much, but it's home" Remus shrugged, heading over to the table to clean up the empty cups of tea. Sirius noted that there were two and wondered if his friend had company over prior to his arrival. "Would you like something to eat?" he asked politely. Sirius shook his head.

"What about our h--?" he started to ask, but Remus quickly cut him off.

"It's gone, Sirius" the werewolf answered his unfinished question shortly. Sirius could guess with a decent amount of certainty that he should not be asking that question again anytime soon. After a moment of silence while Remus finished cleaning up, he headed over to the closet and pulled out a towel and fresh clothes. "You can use these. I imagine you're dying to change" he said while handing over the items. Sirius took them with another nod and headed into the bathroom to shower. As he shut the door, he didn't see Remus collapsing onto the dining chair and burying his face in his hands.

It had been three weeks since the incident at the Shrieking Shack and two weeks since the start of summer vacation. During that time, he and Buckbeak had been on the run from the ministry, for a long time taking refuge in the Forbidden Forest. Being an animagus, he could turn into a dog anytime he was threatened by a wild creature, having encountered a fair few while he was there. As an animal, he was under no such threat.

Finally, as the furor caused by his escape settled down, Dumbledore advised him to seek refuge with his fellow Marauder in a muggle neighborhood which was unlikely to be searched anytime soon. The ministry, after all, thought he was desperate to re-integrate with the wizarding world in order to resume his position as Lord Voldemort's most avid supporter and thus started their search in wizarding communities. They were all fools.

Sighing contentedly, he allowed the warm droplets of water run through his hair and caress his skin. Vaguely he wondered how long it would take him to regain his former appearance, if he ever could, but then dismissed the thought just as quickly as it came. There were more important things to be concerned with right now than just his looks; things such as finding out as much as possible what had happened while he was gone. Crisply clean clothes graced his frame after his shower and, once again, he sighed contentedly or, dare he say, happily.

Exiting the bathroom, he found Remus seated on the couch, curled up with a thick novel. Two cups of tea steamed on the nearby end table.

"May I?" the dog animagus requested, uncharacteristically politely, to which Remus nodded and scooted over, settling the book on the other end table closest to him. Sirius reached for the tea and passed one cup over and they sipped it in silence, glancing every now and then at each other, but for the most part, stared at the cracks in the wall opposite the couch. Sirius couldn't help but note the tension in the air. Never had he remembered their relationship to be as strained as this, not even when they had first met around 20 years ago.

20 years? Has it really been that long?

Sirius stole a glance at his friend. He noticed three slight scars over his cheeks and nose, as if a bear, or a wolf, had swiped him. They weren't there when he was sent to Azkaban, and he knew immediately they were from Moony. He noticed the graying hairs Remus had always possessed had now tripled in number as did the wrinkles on his brow and around his eyes. They gave him a tired and old look, well above his 30-odd years of age. He noticed the amber eyes that Sirius often found himself drowning in were dull and nearly lifeless. He noticed the lips that, when they were 16, he had claimed as his and his alone were no longer pink and full, but dry and chapped.

The war and the years following it had certainly taken a toll of the werewolf, but none of those characteristics made him any less beautiful in Sirius's eyes.

He took Remus's cup from his hands, despite soft protests, and set both drinks aside. He then drew closer to Remus and stroked his cheek gently. Remus's eyes slid shut and Sirius took that moment to draw closer and place a hesitant kiss on those lips he knew all too well. Both of Remus's hands were placed on the ex-convict's chest, but to the animagus's utter surprise, they pushed him away sharply.

"Sirius, I... I c-can't" Remus stuttered in defeat. He dropped his head and wrapped his arms around his frame. Sirius's eyes widened.

"Remus--"

"No, please..." the werewolf whispered, "You don't understand... It's been twelve years... We can't just pick up where we left off..." Sirius tilted his chin up to see wetness pooling around the amber eyes.

"We can try, Remmy... We can make this work again" he pleaded softly, brushing his thumb over the accumulating tears. Remus simply pulled his chin away, wiped his eyes and stood up, collecting the teacups.

"I'll have dinner ready after I take a shower. Help yourself with the books. I know they don't particularly appeal to you, but I'm afraid that's the only entertainment I can offer you in here" he said in a flat, monotonous voice but with an undertone of pleading. He dared not face his former lover in case he broke down again. Sirius did not reply but simply watched him fuss around the kitchen before striding into the bathroom with a towel and clothes in tow. They did not speak, not even glance at one another for the remainder of the evening. A considerable feat given that they were sharing a small flat and an even smaller bed.

*****

How was it? I hope you were intrigued and enticed enough to review =)