Disclaimer~I don't own DBZ got it? All I own is my made up character, Amber. I also made up the lyrics to the song in this chapter so don't steal them!
Author's Note~This fic is dedicated to all my fantastic friends(you know who you are) ^-^
Dragonball Z
Out Where Only Dreams Have Been
Chapter 4-Keeper Of Memories
Amber had been staying with Gohan for just over 2 weeks now. Both were helping friends and other people to start rebuilding their lives and helping each other, though perhaps not noticing it. Slowly but surely, Amber was teaching Gohan how life can continue on after such a tragedy. In return, Gohan helped Amber to grieve and get over her loss. Thought he didn't say much to her, he gave her the company she needed and made sure she didn't feel alone. However, one thing Amber hadn't managed to do yet was to make Gohan feel like he wasn't alone. She had tried extremely hard to give him the company he needed, but he had put up a barrier around himself that seemed impossible to break. Amber was pretty sure that he wanted to feel like he was alone because of his guilt and she was ever more determined to make him see the truth.
"Gohan? Where are you?" Amber called.
Amber looked around the large Capsule Corporation building in search of Gohan, but there was no sign of him. Amber was a little concerned, but she just guessed that he'd gone out for a walk. Sighing and shrugging, Amber walked down the long corridors.
Just as she was about to descend the dark stairs, Amber stopped and looked back behind herself. Strangely, she felt a presence drawing her towards the room next to her. Curious, even though a little nervous, Amber walked towards the door. Slowly, she pushed it open. It was a bedroom.
Amber reluctantly walked inside, rubbing her arms as a cold breeze blew through the shattered glass window. The breeze became so strong that it made the door slam shut. Amber screamed out and kept looking everywhere. She didn't know why, but slowly Amber felt a calming sensation sweep all over her body. It was as if a voice was telling her not to be scared. Amber let the feeling absorb her and rush over her form like a blazing wind of fire perfectly by the scent of just fallen mildew.
Amber slowly walked over to a large desk which was on the far side of the room opposite the big bed. She noticed that one of the draws of the desk seemed to be glowing. Cautiously, Amber slowly opened the seemingly glowing middle draw of the desk. Amber was blinded by a bright soft yellow glow for a few seconds which died down almost instantly after she had opened the draw.
Inside the draw, Amber found a large tan leather covered book. It was an old looking book, but only in appearance. Amber carefully lifted the book out of the desk, sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at it intensely. The edges of the cover and paper inside were torn and ripped and covered with dust. Amber guessed that it was a diary of some sort which was made by someone during the war. Curiosity prevailing, Amber opened the book and looked upon the first page. It had some scribbled handwriting that Amber could barely read, but she didn't expect it to be fancy because of when it was wrote. Her initial guess was correct, the book was indeed a diary of sorts. Not a typical diary because entries were made by different people as Amber would soon discover. Just by looking at the handwriting, Amber could tell that it was written by someone who fought in the battle and that person had a pure heart.
As Amber read the writing, she could imagine the person's voice in her head reading the words to her.
To anyone who finds this book
Everything in here are real accounts, thoughts and feelings of some of those who fought in this continuing raging war.
That was all that was written on the first piece of tattered paper in the book. The pages of paper were loose and simply placed within the book's front and back covers. Amber assumed whoever had made the book had put all the pages together in the covers and placed it in the draw to keep it safe or perhaps to make later entries, but never got a chance to. Amber thought they were simple diary like messages. But Amber was in for a shock as she was about to find out that these diary like messages would be from the most deepest and passionate parts of the Z Fighter's hearts.
Amber gently picked up the first piece of worn paper and started reading it.
Dear Gohan
You know I'm dying. As I'm writing this, your out there somewhere fighting with the others to keep everyone's hopes alive. If you ever get the chance to read this, please listen well and take notice at what I say. I say it not to increase the pain in your heart as you know your younger brother is dying as he writes the words on this paper, but to ease your fears and to extinguish the guilt.
It all seemed to happen so fast. He looked at me with deep evil haunting eyes and I knew he was planning to hurt me that day. I glanced over to you brother and it hit me. He was going to kill you to make me suffer. I powered up to my max in seconds and prepared to jump over to you.
Like a bolt of lightning, it struck me. Not you, not in front of you, not me protecting you. It hit me where I stood, about a few metres from where you were standing.
It had all been a trick.
I was foolish. I was so stupid. I should've known. I should've known from that same look in his eyes that he was trying to make me see the thin ice over the depths of the water and I fell right for it. I was totally unprepared, therefore I couldn't defend myself against the attack.
The first pain I felt was directly just below my right shoulder. It was like something extremely powerful, yet relatively small eating at my skin. A small dark green beam, only about a centimetre wide was burning away my flesh just below my right shoulder. Nothing in the universe could describe the pain I was in.
I wanted to pass out to block out the pain, but my body wouldn't respond. I felt the beam burrowing into my chest, destroying anything it came into contact with. As I felt the beam starting to burst out my back, a large spray of blood blasted from my mouth. My eyes were rolling into the back of my head. I tried to scream, but the red liquid silenced me and blocked my airway. I was suffocating on my own blood.
I felt my back connect with the ground. I lay there, staring blindly at the sky for a few seconds.
Then I saw you Gohan.
I don't know how I managed to see you because my eyes were covered over in a thick layer of blood. I could feel a warmth in my body. I wasn't sure whether it was from the blood filling the hole in my chest, or whether it was from you holding me tight and telling me not to die. I guess my senses were still working a bit and I just knew it was you. Then, I felt something soft on my eyes and the blood in my eyes was gone.
I faintly saw you my big brother.
My vision was blurred and my hearing was fuzzy, but I saw and heard you. I could feel your hands gently sweep across my bloody body and I shuddered at your touch. I could no longer feel the pain because my body had gone numb. The only time I felt it was when your strong arms wrapped around me and pick my up. I vaguely remember shaking as you cradled me against you chest.
Then my mind went black.
No matter what happens now Gohan, you must remember this.
It's because of you that I lived as long as I have after what happened to me. I should've died there and then, but you wouldn't let me. You've always taken good care of me, especially when mom and dad died. Don't blame yourself for what happened because I'm not going anywhere, I'll never leave you. I'm so proud of you Gohan as mom and dad were and will always be. I'm proud to be your little brother. Your best big brother ever.
I love you Gohan and I'll always be with you. Just look in your heart, we're all there.
Let me feel your warm arms wrap around me one more time.
Let me hear your soft voice whisper in my ear and tell me not to be afraid.
Let me see your gentle black satin orb eyes and give me strength.
Let me sense your eternal groove and twist around my own in one last innocent bliss.
My dear dear big brother, live for me.
Goten
Fingers ran slowly over the vague traces of drops of blood on the paper. A small silver tear then landed next to the smudged blood.
Amber let several pained sobs escape from her throat. Tear after tear fell from her red puffy eyes and dripped down her face. She was shaking a little as she held the heart written paper in her quivering hands. Cry after cry came from her mouth until she just couldn't stop.
"Oh Goten."
It was as if Goten was her brother too. She hated thinking about the pain he must've been in. The full extent of the horror and terrifying acts of death were coming to light and it made her sick. How could this monster cause such torture, such pain, such suffering?
Amber didn't think she could bring herself to read the others, but her courage told her to continue.
Amber read through more letters and painful memories of the Z Fighters, all of them producing the same reaction in her. After reading another 4, Amber picked up the next one which, unknown to her, would be extremely symbolic to someone's deeper feelings, no matter what the person showed on the outside.
Bulma
I saw him die. I saw him die right in front of my eyes. The memory haunts me everyone single second of every single day. You wanted to know exactly how, but I couldn't tell you. You knew from the look in my eyes that it was horrific.
He was my greatest rival and former greatest enemy.
Yet not even I, the Prince of the Saiyans, ever wished for him to face such a death.
Kakarot. He fought with such power, with such stamina, nobility, intensity and he fought without fear. So what does that make me?
He is everything I am not, yet he possesses what should've been mine. Is it because of what he is that made him get that blistering energy? I had no choice over who I became. I was kept in the dark corner and used as a porn in someone else's lust for ultimate power and dominance. I remember when I told him that on Namek. The look in his eyes. It was a look no one had given me before. I knew he had a deeper understand, but a deeper understanding of what? He calls me a friend, what have I shown him to make him think of me like that? He doesn't know who I really am…because I don't know who I really am. I know I am the Prince of all the Saiyan race, but is that all?
Kurso! So many questions in my head and no answers to them! Or are the answers there right in front of my eyes? Am I so blinded by my own pride and burning determination to achieve the best that I miss the simplest things in the simplest places?
You've always said that you've wanted to know me better, to be closer than we have ever been, to be totally united together. Then understand me now. When I was a child, I was taken from my rightful place at my father's side. My kingdom was obliterated in front of my eyes. From that point on I was shaped and moulded for one purpose, to conquer. I became nothing but an inanimate fighting tool of a loathsome empire. If you were me, what would you do?
I am not weak, and yet my heart aches longingly for the one who was the closest person to truly understanding me as it does for you and my son.
My son, Trunks. He too died, but I didn't see it with my eyes. I knew he had died when he went missing. I could feel is pain burning in my chest. I imagined him. The horror as his face twisted and contorted in never ending, heinous pain. The gruesome state of him as he looked down upon himself and seeing all the blood, all his Demi-Saiyan blood pumping vigorously from his chest. I saw him falling to the ground as I flew through the air, as fast as I am capable of, rushing to be with my son. I can't stop him dying, my heart knows that much, but I won't let him die alone. I find him on the edge of death's blade, clinging on to whatever energy he has left within him. I kneel at his side and look into his eyes. I see them filled with fear, frozenly preserved terror and the harrowing emptiness. I dread to look upon his body, but some force makes me. His legs are nothing but shreds as are his clothes, one arm lay completely twisted around at a sickening angle while the other lays twitching on the ground, on his chest, I see nothing but blood seeping and flowing like a waterfall around him. It formed a large pool around him and me. That wasn't the worst. The worst of it was that amidst all the blood, I could see a faint movement in his chest which I quickly realised was gaping open. My own eyes could see his heart beating erratically, forcing what little blood was still in his body to cascade out on his chest. I knew he could see me because he desperately tried to speak to me. I know he would never see me in such a state as I was ever again. More red liquid dribbled from his mouth in tiny streams. I pushed every thought out of my mind and concentrated on helping him in any desperate, tiny possible way that I could.
With slow movements, I lifted my now teenage son up and laid him upon my chest. I lay one of my hands upon his blood soaked chest to try in vain to ease his pain and I used my other hand to stroke his blood coated lilac hair from his painful sweat drenched head. His gasps turned to sobs as bitter tears fell from his red clouded eyes. I hold back my own desperation, for his sake. I soothe him quietly, something I have never done to anyone ever. I whisper to him, to let him know I'm there with him and that he's not alone. As I speak to him, I feel his Ki going beyond the edge and fading into forever darkness. He moves his head to look at me. A small smile crosses his lips and he softly whispers to me.
"Thankyou…dad…I…I..love you."
Oh kami! I was so proud of him. In an instant his Ki flashed from his body and left my arms. I was so proud of him! I loved him! I never had the chance to tell him! I was going to tell him, but he was wrenched from my graps and slipped through my fingers before I could tell him! I was aflame with blinding rage and fury. Grief and guilt swept over my body. Trunks, my son, was dead. My greatest fear ever since Kakarot died had come true. He died like him, Trunks had died like Kakarot.
Bulma, I can only say I'm sorry. Sorry for never showing you my once thought destroyed side. I'm sorry I couldn't be who you wanted me to be. I'm sorry I never had the chance to become who I chose to be. I'm sorry I never told you and Trunks how much I loved you and I'm sorry I never showed it.
I lost my precious son to this monster, I won't let him touch you. As long as breath fills my chest, as long as my heart beats, as long as time lasts in itself I promise you that I won't let you die like Kakarot, like Trunks, like me.
Vegeta
By now, Amber was in flood of tears. She cupped her hands over her eyes and cried deeply into them. All the heart ache memories of her own experience became intermixed with the images of what the Z Fighters went through. She counted herself extremely lucky that she didn't see such horror. Now she knew the kind of terrifying things that Gohan must've saw and it made her cry worse. She had just one written paper left to read. She knew, without looking at it, that it was from Goku. It wasn't that she hadn't seen one by him yet, but in her mind it was expected. She put down the paper she was holding with the others and picked up the very last one.
The message was moving and beyond all doubt, beautiful.
Dear family and friends
We've been through tough scrapes together. We've fought evil much more powerful than us and pulled through. I have no doubt that we shall do so again. I have faith in each and every one of you. No one is more powerful than the other. No one is stronger than the other. We are equal in everything.
We are one.
Our power comes from our combined power, strength, dedication and love.
To all my friends and family. You guys are the greatest. I am who I am because of you. No matter how small, you've all contributed to my strength and inspired me beyond all imagination. In return, I give you back exactly what you've given to me. The power, love and courage to fight on and to never give up. There have been times when even I have been ready to give in. Sound stupid huh? But ever time I look at you guys, it reminds me of the reason why I'm fighting in the first place. I love and care for you all deeply and I would and have willingly died for you. That is proof of my feelings for you. I live in you all and exist as your protector. All the happy and sad times we've shared, the up's and the down's, I wouldn't change them for anything.
Bulma. I remember when we first met. You nearly ran me over in your capsule car. Guess it's lucky I have a hard head huh? You took me on a wonderful journey on searching for the remaining Dragonballs to get your wish, to get a boyfriend if I remember correctly.
Along the way we met Yamcha, Puar and Oolong, three wonderful friends whose courage, loyalty and determination I'll always remember.
When I trained with Master Roshi, I met you Krillin. You quickly became my best friend and I couldn't ask for a better buddie than you.
Through out my young life, I met up with Piccolo, Tien and Choutzu. You guys were very strong and no matter what anyone says, you've always stayed that way and always been great friends to me.
Chichi, my darling wife. We met I obviously failed to see the wonderful beauty, charm and grace that makes you who you are. I love you so much Chichi and I've always admired you for your courage and loyalty and dedication to me and our two sons. Each and everyday I think of you and my heart loves you even more.
Vegeta, the proud Prince of our race. We are the only full blooded Saiyans left. Our race lives on in us. You've always been determined to surpass me in power and strength. Since that day dark day when we first met, you've changed a lot, though at first you didn't know it. I don't care what anyone says Vegeta, you are one of us. You are a Z Fighter. Recent battles have proven that, especially now. You have a beautiful wife a fantastic son and marvellous life. You're a very lucky man Vegeta and a fine friend.
Goten, my youngest son. How much you've grown up since the early days. Though most of your life has been through this wretched war, we've had good times together. Your so brave, strong, courageous and focused like your older brother. Goten, I'm so proud of you and I love you very very much.
Gohan, my first son. You become far beyond anything I could've dreamed of. You bravery knows no limits and you determination holds no boundaries. I've watched you become who you are and my heart is filled with joy and love. Time and time again you've fought by my side. Nothing compares to the feeling of pride I have when we do. I know that you have some extremely horrid times ahead of you, like we all will. Just remember, my son, everyday you make me proud and that I love you so much. Trust your heart, fight with bravery and no matter what, you must never ever give up. I have faith in you Gohan, as I have for everyone.
This war has claimed thousands of countless lives, but we shall not stop until this unspeakable evil is vanquished for good and peace is restored.
If I do die before I have a chance to see the end, everything that I am will live on forever in each of you and that will see you through.
With all my love, gratitude and fortitude
Goku
Amber lay curled up on the silk soft bed, softly crying to herself. For her, the message written by Goku was symbolic of what her parents and grandfather must think of her. After about half an hour of sobbing and looking at the setting sun, Amber slowly rose up, held the book close to her chest and walked out to where Gohan was.
The Demi-Saiyan was sitting alone by a large lake, watching life dance and flutter past him. He turned when Amber walked through the trees to him. He stood up and faced her. He could tell, even in the darkness, that she had been crying but he couldn't think why. Amber then held the book to him. Gohan, though very confused, took the book and waited for Amber to explain.
"That'll tell you the truth Gohan." Amber said quietly, wiping her tears away. "It'll also tell you that what I've been saying is true."
With that, Amber slowly walked back towards the Capsule Corps building, leaving Gohan to read the contents of the book. He opened the first page and began reading.
To anyone who finds this book…
Amber waited for Gohan to return for over 4 hours. It was now 2:30 am in the morning. Amber was worried and very tired, but she refused to fall asleep until Gohan had returned and she knew he was safe. After another 5minutes, Amber heard the door being opened. Amber stood up as Gohan walked inside. She looked at him and her heart instantly melted. Silver tears covered Gohan's face, his eyes were red and slightly swollen from being rubbed too much and many sobs escaped his throat. The book was under Gohan's right arm, dark brown patches, where tears had hit it, very clearly visible.
"Oh Gohan." Amber cried.
Amber rushed to Gohan and hugged him tightly. This time, Gohan didn't fight and didn't resist against Amber's affection. He held her tightly against his chest and hugged her even more. Together, they both cried.
Both their thoughts united together and became one as life and love paved out another step to the future.
Author's Note~This fic is dedicated to all my fantastic friends(you know who you are) ^-^
Dragonball Z
Out Where Only Dreams Have Been
Chapter 4-Keeper Of Memories
Amber had been staying with Gohan for just over 2 weeks now. Both were helping friends and other people to start rebuilding their lives and helping each other, though perhaps not noticing it. Slowly but surely, Amber was teaching Gohan how life can continue on after such a tragedy. In return, Gohan helped Amber to grieve and get over her loss. Thought he didn't say much to her, he gave her the company she needed and made sure she didn't feel alone. However, one thing Amber hadn't managed to do yet was to make Gohan feel like he wasn't alone. She had tried extremely hard to give him the company he needed, but he had put up a barrier around himself that seemed impossible to break. Amber was pretty sure that he wanted to feel like he was alone because of his guilt and she was ever more determined to make him see the truth.
"Gohan? Where are you?" Amber called.
Amber looked around the large Capsule Corporation building in search of Gohan, but there was no sign of him. Amber was a little concerned, but she just guessed that he'd gone out for a walk. Sighing and shrugging, Amber walked down the long corridors.
Just as she was about to descend the dark stairs, Amber stopped and looked back behind herself. Strangely, she felt a presence drawing her towards the room next to her. Curious, even though a little nervous, Amber walked towards the door. Slowly, she pushed it open. It was a bedroom.
Amber reluctantly walked inside, rubbing her arms as a cold breeze blew through the shattered glass window. The breeze became so strong that it made the door slam shut. Amber screamed out and kept looking everywhere. She didn't know why, but slowly Amber felt a calming sensation sweep all over her body. It was as if a voice was telling her not to be scared. Amber let the feeling absorb her and rush over her form like a blazing wind of fire perfectly by the scent of just fallen mildew.
Amber slowly walked over to a large desk which was on the far side of the room opposite the big bed. She noticed that one of the draws of the desk seemed to be glowing. Cautiously, Amber slowly opened the seemingly glowing middle draw of the desk. Amber was blinded by a bright soft yellow glow for a few seconds which died down almost instantly after she had opened the draw.
Inside the draw, Amber found a large tan leather covered book. It was an old looking book, but only in appearance. Amber carefully lifted the book out of the desk, sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at it intensely. The edges of the cover and paper inside were torn and ripped and covered with dust. Amber guessed that it was a diary of some sort which was made by someone during the war. Curiosity prevailing, Amber opened the book and looked upon the first page. It had some scribbled handwriting that Amber could barely read, but she didn't expect it to be fancy because of when it was wrote. Her initial guess was correct, the book was indeed a diary of sorts. Not a typical diary because entries were made by different people as Amber would soon discover. Just by looking at the handwriting, Amber could tell that it was written by someone who fought in the battle and that person had a pure heart.
As Amber read the writing, she could imagine the person's voice in her head reading the words to her.
To anyone who finds this book
Everything in here are real accounts, thoughts and feelings of some of those who fought in this continuing raging war.
That was all that was written on the first piece of tattered paper in the book. The pages of paper were loose and simply placed within the book's front and back covers. Amber assumed whoever had made the book had put all the pages together in the covers and placed it in the draw to keep it safe or perhaps to make later entries, but never got a chance to. Amber thought they were simple diary like messages. But Amber was in for a shock as she was about to find out that these diary like messages would be from the most deepest and passionate parts of the Z Fighter's hearts.
Amber gently picked up the first piece of worn paper and started reading it.
Dear Gohan
You know I'm dying. As I'm writing this, your out there somewhere fighting with the others to keep everyone's hopes alive. If you ever get the chance to read this, please listen well and take notice at what I say. I say it not to increase the pain in your heart as you know your younger brother is dying as he writes the words on this paper, but to ease your fears and to extinguish the guilt.
It all seemed to happen so fast. He looked at me with deep evil haunting eyes and I knew he was planning to hurt me that day. I glanced over to you brother and it hit me. He was going to kill you to make me suffer. I powered up to my max in seconds and prepared to jump over to you.
Like a bolt of lightning, it struck me. Not you, not in front of you, not me protecting you. It hit me where I stood, about a few metres from where you were standing.
It had all been a trick.
I was foolish. I was so stupid. I should've known. I should've known from that same look in his eyes that he was trying to make me see the thin ice over the depths of the water and I fell right for it. I was totally unprepared, therefore I couldn't defend myself against the attack.
The first pain I felt was directly just below my right shoulder. It was like something extremely powerful, yet relatively small eating at my skin. A small dark green beam, only about a centimetre wide was burning away my flesh just below my right shoulder. Nothing in the universe could describe the pain I was in.
I wanted to pass out to block out the pain, but my body wouldn't respond. I felt the beam burrowing into my chest, destroying anything it came into contact with. As I felt the beam starting to burst out my back, a large spray of blood blasted from my mouth. My eyes were rolling into the back of my head. I tried to scream, but the red liquid silenced me and blocked my airway. I was suffocating on my own blood.
I felt my back connect with the ground. I lay there, staring blindly at the sky for a few seconds.
Then I saw you Gohan.
I don't know how I managed to see you because my eyes were covered over in a thick layer of blood. I could feel a warmth in my body. I wasn't sure whether it was from the blood filling the hole in my chest, or whether it was from you holding me tight and telling me not to die. I guess my senses were still working a bit and I just knew it was you. Then, I felt something soft on my eyes and the blood in my eyes was gone.
I faintly saw you my big brother.
My vision was blurred and my hearing was fuzzy, but I saw and heard you. I could feel your hands gently sweep across my bloody body and I shuddered at your touch. I could no longer feel the pain because my body had gone numb. The only time I felt it was when your strong arms wrapped around me and pick my up. I vaguely remember shaking as you cradled me against you chest.
Then my mind went black.
No matter what happens now Gohan, you must remember this.
It's because of you that I lived as long as I have after what happened to me. I should've died there and then, but you wouldn't let me. You've always taken good care of me, especially when mom and dad died. Don't blame yourself for what happened because I'm not going anywhere, I'll never leave you. I'm so proud of you Gohan as mom and dad were and will always be. I'm proud to be your little brother. Your best big brother ever.
I love you Gohan and I'll always be with you. Just look in your heart, we're all there.
Let me feel your warm arms wrap around me one more time.
Let me hear your soft voice whisper in my ear and tell me not to be afraid.
Let me see your gentle black satin orb eyes and give me strength.
Let me sense your eternal groove and twist around my own in one last innocent bliss.
My dear dear big brother, live for me.
Goten
Fingers ran slowly over the vague traces of drops of blood on the paper. A small silver tear then landed next to the smudged blood.
Amber let several pained sobs escape from her throat. Tear after tear fell from her red puffy eyes and dripped down her face. She was shaking a little as she held the heart written paper in her quivering hands. Cry after cry came from her mouth until she just couldn't stop.
"Oh Goten."
It was as if Goten was her brother too. She hated thinking about the pain he must've been in. The full extent of the horror and terrifying acts of death were coming to light and it made her sick. How could this monster cause such torture, such pain, such suffering?
Amber didn't think she could bring herself to read the others, but her courage told her to continue.
Amber read through more letters and painful memories of the Z Fighters, all of them producing the same reaction in her. After reading another 4, Amber picked up the next one which, unknown to her, would be extremely symbolic to someone's deeper feelings, no matter what the person showed on the outside.
Bulma
I saw him die. I saw him die right in front of my eyes. The memory haunts me everyone single second of every single day. You wanted to know exactly how, but I couldn't tell you. You knew from the look in my eyes that it was horrific.
He was my greatest rival and former greatest enemy.
Yet not even I, the Prince of the Saiyans, ever wished for him to face such a death.
Kakarot. He fought with such power, with such stamina, nobility, intensity and he fought without fear. So what does that make me?
He is everything I am not, yet he possesses what should've been mine. Is it because of what he is that made him get that blistering energy? I had no choice over who I became. I was kept in the dark corner and used as a porn in someone else's lust for ultimate power and dominance. I remember when I told him that on Namek. The look in his eyes. It was a look no one had given me before. I knew he had a deeper understand, but a deeper understanding of what? He calls me a friend, what have I shown him to make him think of me like that? He doesn't know who I really am…because I don't know who I really am. I know I am the Prince of all the Saiyan race, but is that all?
Kurso! So many questions in my head and no answers to them! Or are the answers there right in front of my eyes? Am I so blinded by my own pride and burning determination to achieve the best that I miss the simplest things in the simplest places?
You've always said that you've wanted to know me better, to be closer than we have ever been, to be totally united together. Then understand me now. When I was a child, I was taken from my rightful place at my father's side. My kingdom was obliterated in front of my eyes. From that point on I was shaped and moulded for one purpose, to conquer. I became nothing but an inanimate fighting tool of a loathsome empire. If you were me, what would you do?
I am not weak, and yet my heart aches longingly for the one who was the closest person to truly understanding me as it does for you and my son.
My son, Trunks. He too died, but I didn't see it with my eyes. I knew he had died when he went missing. I could feel is pain burning in my chest. I imagined him. The horror as his face twisted and contorted in never ending, heinous pain. The gruesome state of him as he looked down upon himself and seeing all the blood, all his Demi-Saiyan blood pumping vigorously from his chest. I saw him falling to the ground as I flew through the air, as fast as I am capable of, rushing to be with my son. I can't stop him dying, my heart knows that much, but I won't let him die alone. I find him on the edge of death's blade, clinging on to whatever energy he has left within him. I kneel at his side and look into his eyes. I see them filled with fear, frozenly preserved terror and the harrowing emptiness. I dread to look upon his body, but some force makes me. His legs are nothing but shreds as are his clothes, one arm lay completely twisted around at a sickening angle while the other lays twitching on the ground, on his chest, I see nothing but blood seeping and flowing like a waterfall around him. It formed a large pool around him and me. That wasn't the worst. The worst of it was that amidst all the blood, I could see a faint movement in his chest which I quickly realised was gaping open. My own eyes could see his heart beating erratically, forcing what little blood was still in his body to cascade out on his chest. I knew he could see me because he desperately tried to speak to me. I know he would never see me in such a state as I was ever again. More red liquid dribbled from his mouth in tiny streams. I pushed every thought out of my mind and concentrated on helping him in any desperate, tiny possible way that I could.
With slow movements, I lifted my now teenage son up and laid him upon my chest. I lay one of my hands upon his blood soaked chest to try in vain to ease his pain and I used my other hand to stroke his blood coated lilac hair from his painful sweat drenched head. His gasps turned to sobs as bitter tears fell from his red clouded eyes. I hold back my own desperation, for his sake. I soothe him quietly, something I have never done to anyone ever. I whisper to him, to let him know I'm there with him and that he's not alone. As I speak to him, I feel his Ki going beyond the edge and fading into forever darkness. He moves his head to look at me. A small smile crosses his lips and he softly whispers to me.
"Thankyou…dad…I…I..love you."
Oh kami! I was so proud of him. In an instant his Ki flashed from his body and left my arms. I was so proud of him! I loved him! I never had the chance to tell him! I was going to tell him, but he was wrenched from my graps and slipped through my fingers before I could tell him! I was aflame with blinding rage and fury. Grief and guilt swept over my body. Trunks, my son, was dead. My greatest fear ever since Kakarot died had come true. He died like him, Trunks had died like Kakarot.
Bulma, I can only say I'm sorry. Sorry for never showing you my once thought destroyed side. I'm sorry I couldn't be who you wanted me to be. I'm sorry I never had the chance to become who I chose to be. I'm sorry I never told you and Trunks how much I loved you and I'm sorry I never showed it.
I lost my precious son to this monster, I won't let him touch you. As long as breath fills my chest, as long as my heart beats, as long as time lasts in itself I promise you that I won't let you die like Kakarot, like Trunks, like me.
Vegeta
By now, Amber was in flood of tears. She cupped her hands over her eyes and cried deeply into them. All the heart ache memories of her own experience became intermixed with the images of what the Z Fighters went through. She counted herself extremely lucky that she didn't see such horror. Now she knew the kind of terrifying things that Gohan must've saw and it made her cry worse. She had just one written paper left to read. She knew, without looking at it, that it was from Goku. It wasn't that she hadn't seen one by him yet, but in her mind it was expected. She put down the paper she was holding with the others and picked up the very last one.
The message was moving and beyond all doubt, beautiful.
Dear family and friends
We've been through tough scrapes together. We've fought evil much more powerful than us and pulled through. I have no doubt that we shall do so again. I have faith in each and every one of you. No one is more powerful than the other. No one is stronger than the other. We are equal in everything.
We are one.
Our power comes from our combined power, strength, dedication and love.
To all my friends and family. You guys are the greatest. I am who I am because of you. No matter how small, you've all contributed to my strength and inspired me beyond all imagination. In return, I give you back exactly what you've given to me. The power, love and courage to fight on and to never give up. There have been times when even I have been ready to give in. Sound stupid huh? But ever time I look at you guys, it reminds me of the reason why I'm fighting in the first place. I love and care for you all deeply and I would and have willingly died for you. That is proof of my feelings for you. I live in you all and exist as your protector. All the happy and sad times we've shared, the up's and the down's, I wouldn't change them for anything.
Bulma. I remember when we first met. You nearly ran me over in your capsule car. Guess it's lucky I have a hard head huh? You took me on a wonderful journey on searching for the remaining Dragonballs to get your wish, to get a boyfriend if I remember correctly.
Along the way we met Yamcha, Puar and Oolong, three wonderful friends whose courage, loyalty and determination I'll always remember.
When I trained with Master Roshi, I met you Krillin. You quickly became my best friend and I couldn't ask for a better buddie than you.
Through out my young life, I met up with Piccolo, Tien and Choutzu. You guys were very strong and no matter what anyone says, you've always stayed that way and always been great friends to me.
Chichi, my darling wife. We met I obviously failed to see the wonderful beauty, charm and grace that makes you who you are. I love you so much Chichi and I've always admired you for your courage and loyalty and dedication to me and our two sons. Each and everyday I think of you and my heart loves you even more.
Vegeta, the proud Prince of our race. We are the only full blooded Saiyans left. Our race lives on in us. You've always been determined to surpass me in power and strength. Since that day dark day when we first met, you've changed a lot, though at first you didn't know it. I don't care what anyone says Vegeta, you are one of us. You are a Z Fighter. Recent battles have proven that, especially now. You have a beautiful wife a fantastic son and marvellous life. You're a very lucky man Vegeta and a fine friend.
Goten, my youngest son. How much you've grown up since the early days. Though most of your life has been through this wretched war, we've had good times together. Your so brave, strong, courageous and focused like your older brother. Goten, I'm so proud of you and I love you very very much.
Gohan, my first son. You become far beyond anything I could've dreamed of. You bravery knows no limits and you determination holds no boundaries. I've watched you become who you are and my heart is filled with joy and love. Time and time again you've fought by my side. Nothing compares to the feeling of pride I have when we do. I know that you have some extremely horrid times ahead of you, like we all will. Just remember, my son, everyday you make me proud and that I love you so much. Trust your heart, fight with bravery and no matter what, you must never ever give up. I have faith in you Gohan, as I have for everyone.
This war has claimed thousands of countless lives, but we shall not stop until this unspeakable evil is vanquished for good and peace is restored.
If I do die before I have a chance to see the end, everything that I am will live on forever in each of you and that will see you through.
With all my love, gratitude and fortitude
Goku
Amber lay curled up on the silk soft bed, softly crying to herself. For her, the message written by Goku was symbolic of what her parents and grandfather must think of her. After about half an hour of sobbing and looking at the setting sun, Amber slowly rose up, held the book close to her chest and walked out to where Gohan was.
The Demi-Saiyan was sitting alone by a large lake, watching life dance and flutter past him. He turned when Amber walked through the trees to him. He stood up and faced her. He could tell, even in the darkness, that she had been crying but he couldn't think why. Amber then held the book to him. Gohan, though very confused, took the book and waited for Amber to explain.
"That'll tell you the truth Gohan." Amber said quietly, wiping her tears away. "It'll also tell you that what I've been saying is true."
With that, Amber slowly walked back towards the Capsule Corps building, leaving Gohan to read the contents of the book. He opened the first page and began reading.
To anyone who finds this book…
Amber waited for Gohan to return for over 4 hours. It was now 2:30 am in the morning. Amber was worried and very tired, but she refused to fall asleep until Gohan had returned and she knew he was safe. After another 5minutes, Amber heard the door being opened. Amber stood up as Gohan walked inside. She looked at him and her heart instantly melted. Silver tears covered Gohan's face, his eyes were red and slightly swollen from being rubbed too much and many sobs escaped his throat. The book was under Gohan's right arm, dark brown patches, where tears had hit it, very clearly visible.
"Oh Gohan." Amber cried.
Amber rushed to Gohan and hugged him tightly. This time, Gohan didn't fight and didn't resist against Amber's affection. He held her tightly against his chest and hugged her even more. Together, they both cried.
Both their thoughts united together and became one as life and love paved out another step to the future.