Co-written with Urplesquirrel (aka Doom Squirrel). Posted on her LJ as well at urplesquirrel(dot)livejournal(dot)com.

Main Characters: Sora, Riku, Kairi, and Roxas.

Full Summary: "Why do you need to die for me to be complete?" Sora won't settle for this, and Roxas is finding that having a heart again is a lot harder than he'd thought it would be. But if Sora, Riku, and Kairi can't figure out who's behind the new attacks, it'll be a moot point.

OoO

The tide came in slowly, eating away at the footsteps left that day and the deeper marks left from the play-fighting. Sora watched them fade, feeling deeply contented in the knowledge that another map of their actions would be etched on the sand the next day, and then day after that.

Only three weeks back, and he could almost pretend, if he wanted to, that it was just another endless summer.

I wanted to go to the beach during summer vacation, he thought, and Sora knew it wasn't exactly his thought; it slid into his mind nonchalantly like it had been there all along, but it didn't quite fit.

He'd been having a lot of these thoughts lately.

"Why didn't you go?" he murmured softly to himself.

Things... got in the way.

Faint memories came to him: missing pictures fluttering in the air, a white room, a battle that was play and then one that wasn't, silver-quick flash of a Dusk, a cocky smirk and green eyes. It was like seeing through a window smudged with grime, outlines with only hints of detail.

"Is that why you didn't go?"

I lost the munny. There was something evasive, but final in the answer.

Sora let it rest, leaning back, and stretching his arms towards the sky. Damp sand rubbed into his scalp, a feeling he had missed on every world.

"Sorry," Sora said. "But today was good, right? 'Cause we spent all day on the beach."

It was fun. Like with --an image cut in, Kairi overlaid with an image of another girl like a ghost - brown curly hair. Riku as a much shorter, slightly chubby black-haired boy.

Sora laughed. "Riku and Pence didn't seem that alike to me."

You'd be surprised.

Sora turned the thought over and still didn't see the connection. He shrugged, enjoying the feeling of the sand shifting under him. "If you say so."

He glanced across the islet, toward the main island and the boats coming into the harbor. The memory of lunch was faint in his belly and as low as the sun was, it had to be six at a contented sigh, Sora stood, stretched, and dangled his shoes over his shoulders, wading into the sea. Home sounded good now and not just as the abstract end to a journey.

The air and sea were both warm. Maybe he would just go check in with his mom and then go to Riku's. Maybe the two of them could go over to Kairi's and kidnap her to come back to the beach. Light a fire, and they could stay out here all night.

Why don't you? Summer doesn't last forever.

"Except that I kind of want to do that only if I can sleep in my own bed. Weird, huh?"

"I mean, I'm glad to be home, but it doesn't feel quite right. I want to go on another adventure, but I don't want to leave home again, either."

There was a silence and then, I know what you mean.

"Being back is wonderful, I like talking about nothing, but..."

School's going to start soon.

"I know. Maybe it'll help. Having something to do."

I meant that you should enjoy the summer while you've got it.

"Maybe we should build the raft again, you mean?" Sora asked. "I mean, we never did go anywhere."

You could. I don't know what's out there either. There must be more to your world than a small chain of islands.

Sora smiled at the thought. "That's what we thought, when we were going to sail off and find where Kairi was from."

Was going there the point of it?

Sora paused, water swirling around his knees. "It could have been. We were going to leave the next day, the night the Heartless came."

I remember that.

"You do?"

I'm you, remember. Only not exactly.

"Yeah, but I guess I'm just not used to thinking of you that way. You're you."

I'm you. The thought was firm. I don't exist without you.

"But we're not the same."

I feel because of you. My friends are yours, even Axel before he...

"Those feelings is all yours," Sora argued.

Are you so sure?

"Of course I'm sure. You aren't me. You're my Nobody. There's a difference."

Well, for one I think I'm less stubborn than you.

"But that just proves my point! You're different from me, and that means you're your own person, even if you started as just a piece of me."

But now I'm a piece of you again. Eventually, there won't be any difference between us. A pause, and then the distinct impression of a smart-alec grin. And then you'll take to yourself and not get any answers, just like other crazy people.

Sora frowned, ignoring the jibe. "But you can't want that. I mean, losing all the things that make you... You instead of me."

It's okay. I have a heart, and instead of fading into the darkness, I get to be whole. I can't describe it, but it's very... peaceful. I really don't mind it.

"It's not okay. I'll miss you."

I'll always be here.

"It won't be the same. It isn't the same. It's not enough that you--"

A flash, an image of Roxas in Twilight Town staring at the sunset.

I couldn't feel my heart then. I knew I was missing something that everyone else had, but not what. Being whole, now that I know what it feels like... If I had a chance to go back to that body, that existence, I wouldn't take it.

"It's not fair," Sora said plaintively.

I'm a Nobody and I can feel. That's more fair than you could imagine.

"But having a heart means giving up being you." Sora pressed. "And that doesn't seem right."

If it means I have a heart, I'd rather be you.

"But... isn't there anything worth hanging on to? Your friends? Hayner, Pence, Olette?" he consideredOr even Axel? It was you he cared about, a lot more than he did about me."

(More images. Sitting on the clocktower in Twilight Town, flaming red hair next to him. Sea-salt ice-cream, a choked voice.)

We're Nobodies. We don't have feelings. He didn't care about me the way you mean. He didn't have a heart.

Sora snorted. "He went through how many plots, battles, worlds just to get you back? He definitely cared about you, heart or no."

It was more habit than anything. He needed me for something and didn't know when to stop.

Sora shook his head, and began to wade through the water again. "He wanted you back because you made him feel like he had a heart."

He didn't have a heart.

"Well, then he had something really close to one. He did feel. No one who didn't feel anything would do that much, not even for themselves. He did it for you. Do you just want to fade into me so that that doesn't mean anything?"

Neither of us will be whole until I do. Why do you want that? You have no idea what it feels like to be without a heart. I know you think you're doing something good, but it hurts, Sora.

"I feel whole with you just like this. Why do you need to die for me to be complete?" He thought about it for a moment. "And besides, it's nice always having someone to talk to."

But every time you do, you force us just a little more apart.

"How apart can we be? You're in my heart!"

That doesn't mean that I will be if we keep doing this.

"Well, GOOD!" cried Sora. "You're a person. And you could feel. Maybe not the same way as us but you can't tell me you didn't care about Hayner, Pence, and Olette. Or that you never wanted to punch Axel in the face when he was being smug."

Sora...

"So being 'whole' is all you want? That's not how hearts work. We all need something more than that to be happy."

You don't know what you're talking about.

"And you don't know what you're thinking about." Sora snapped. "You existed separately from me, that means that you're somebody. You're a Nobody, but you're you, not me. And I don't want you to die any more than I want any of my friends to die."

It's not dying. As long as you're still alive, I'm still alive.

"But if there's nothing left that's you, then how is that any different from Roxas being dead?"

... I think you're selfish. I wasn't meant to exist at all, and now I can be whole again. You don't want me to be. That's not fair.

"I want you to have your own life. That's not selfish. What do you want to die for?" A thought occurred to him and he continued more softly. "Do you just think you should, since everyone else in the Organization did? Are you feeling guilty?"

No. I'm grateful. I'm the only one who was lucky enough to get my heart back. And I don't know why you're trying to spoil that for me.

"Because you're alive. If you died when I could do something to stop it, that's just... I watched one of my friends die." Granted, Goofy had been okay, but they'd thought he was dead. "I won't let that happen again."

There was a sullen silence. It was unnerving to feel so alone in his own head. He frowned.

"Why aren't you willing to be you? Am I really that special? I don't want you to fade."

You have to let me.

"No, I don't."

I--

"No. I'm not letting you fade into death," Sora said firmly. He waited for the retort.

And waited.

"Roxas?"

Let me, please. The last word, filled with an almost wistfulness twisted in Sora's gut.

"I'm not. You're as bad as Riku. I'm not going to let you."

What would I do? His thoughts were plaintive. The people who were important to me are gone, and I... I'm just a shadow of you. Let me fade into you. What kind of life could I even have?

"I don't know," "But wouldn't it be fun to find out?"

After a long silence, there was a feeling like a sigh. You are insufferable.

"Oh yeah?" Sora grinned widely. "Let's go see Riku and Kairi. You can tell them all about it."

OoO

Next update in a week.