I Hate You More Than Anyone
Chapter Ten

"Double Date"

At long last, the weekend rolled by; a tranquil oasis amidst the stress of school, homework and fangirls.

That week had been especially tiring for both Yuki and Kyo. There had been Tohru's fever… Motoko Minagawa collapsing into a display of pineapples… Ritsu's botched suicide attempt… And, finally, the need to protect Tohru from Shigure's scheming, which was a lot more difficult that it sounded.

Shigure Sohma was sneaky.

Luckily, the combined forces of Yuki and Kyo were enough to defeat him. Or, at the very least, throw a fairly sizable spanner in the works.

Yuki had the brains, Kyo the raw emotion and short temper. Alone, they were weak, but together, they were strong.

Or some crap like that, anyway.

However, it wasn't like Yuki or Kyo would acknowledge their newly formed alliance.

Their pride wouldn't allow it.

Plus, there was the whole 'cat hates rat and vice versa' thing, that'd been going on in the Sohma family for twelve generations or so. Give or take.

Family rivalry beside the point, both Yuki and Kyo were exhausted. It was no joke, looking out for something as innocent and oblivious as Tohru Honda, who didn't so much attract danger, as wear a giant, neon sign that proclaimed 'COME AND ABUSE ME. I WON'T RETALIATE.'

Needless to say, both the cat and the rat were very, very grateful when the weekend finally arrived. The weekend heralded rest. Relaxation. Recuperation.

Inner peace.

And then Shigure had to go drop the bombshell.

The Sohma family, plus honorary family member, Tohru, were sat around the breakfast table. It was Saturday morning. The sun was shining, birds were singing, etc, etc. Yuki was lazily helping himself to some cereal, Kyo leaning back in his chair.

And then Shigure caught them all completely off guard.

"Hey, guys! You're going to see a movie with Kagura today! She phoned earlier, and I said sure, you'd love to watch that new zombie-filled slashing/hacking/killing thing with her! Isn't that great?!"

Yuki blinked.

Kyo stared.

Time seemed to stand still.

"Z-z-zombies?" Tohru stuttered, skin ashen. "Slashing? Hacking? Killing?" As she spoke, her voice steadily grew softer and softer, more filled with terror. She practically whispered the last word; a choked, fear-filled stutter.

"That's right! Give the girl a prize!" beamed Shigure, clapping. He sounded like a cheesy talk show host. If you swapped his kimono for a suit, he'd look like a cheesy talk show host, too. "Kagura and Kyo, Yuki and Tohru, all going to see a movie! Isn't that romantic? It could be like a double date!"

The 'play' button was suddenly hit by some great, unseen entity. Time unfroze, but refused to pass normally. Instead, it sped up.

The severity of Shigure's statement hit Kyo, Yuki and Tohru square on, like a tonne of bricks, leaving devastating results.

Kagura?

Double date?!

Zombies????

Yuki almost choked on his spoon.

Kyo overbalanced on his chair crashed onto the floor.

And all Tohru could do was sit there and shiver.

Ding! Ding! Dingdingdingdingdingdingdingding-

Some maniac was hammering on the doorbell.

You get three guesses as to who it was.

"Kyo~kuuuun!" cried a shrill, female voice. "Kyo~kuuun, we're going on a date! You can't bail out on me! Shigure-san said you'd come~ I'll, like, cry and sob and break your neck if you don't! Teehee~ Oh, I'm so adorable!"

And two of those guesses don't count.

"Yay, yay, Kyoo~kuuuun~" sang Kagura cheerily. The brunette had her arms linked with Kyo's. The pair may have seemed like a cute couple, but there was absolutely nothing 'cute' about the death-grip Kagura had Kyo in.

She was almost breaking his arm.

It hurt, damnit!

Kyo winced, trying to pull away. His attempts were futile. Kagura's grip intensified tenfold. She was like a little kid playing tug-of-war with their favourite teddy; stubborn and unwilling to let go.

"This is going to be soooo much fun!" squealed Kagura, resting her head on Kyo's shoulder.

Kyo tried to push it off.

Kagura squeezed his ensnared arm, vice-like, not caring whether she snapped it off or not.

The cat hissed in pain, and decided there wasn't any point spurning Kagura's romantic advances. Not if his right arm was at stake. Huffily, he allowed the boar to rest her head on his shoulder as they walked, his masculine pride be damned. It never lasted very long around Kagura, anyway.

Why bother pretending he was the one in control?

"Don't you think this is gonna be fuuuun, Tohru-chan?" sang Kagura buoyantly, rubbing her head against Kyo's neck, oblivious to the cat's steadily mounting temper. Or maybe she was, and just didn't care.

"Um…" Tohru frowned, hands clasped. "I think it will be fun… Yes." She nodded, trying to reassure herself just as much as Kagura. "It will be fun, I will enjoy it. It will be fun, I will enjoy it…" Her voice trailed away weakly.

"Honda-san," said Yuki, placing a reassuring hand on Tohru's shoulder.

The girl started in alarm, blinking, jerking her head round.

"O-oh… W-what is it?"

Yuki sighed. This had to be some new scheme of Shigure's, he knew it. But what would he gain by making Tohru watch a scary movie, apart from traumatising her? And who would want to do that? You'd have to be really cruel. Reading between the lines; you'd have to be Shigure Sohma.

Figured.

"Just be careful, Honda-san," said Yuki. "Don't push yourself too hard. If you think it's too scary, we can leave."

"No!" Tohru shook her head. "I wouldn't want to spoil it for you!"

Yuki pondered.

Tohru really was too nice for her own good.

No wonder everyone tried to take advantage of her.

"Brains… Brains… Brrraaaiiiiinnnssss…"

"N-no! Stay away! Stay back! Please! No! Noooooo!"

Screaming.

Ripping, clawing, gouging.

Blood.

The camera panned out of the 'horrific' scene (a young woman being ravaged by living corpses), and the credits began to roll.

Yuki yawned, thoroughly unimpressed with the stupid movie. For one, the mere concept of zombies was ridiculous. And just how big was that movie's budget, anyway? It looked pretty cheap. You could tell those 'zombies' were random people found off the street, smeared with make-up. And killing off the main character? That wasn't an ending. That was the script writers being lazy, unable to think of a way to tie up all the loose ends. What a rip-off.

Kyo, too, was not a happy bunny, though this was less to do with the movie (senselessly violent flicks were always semi-entertaining in his eyes), and more to do with Kagura.

She couldn't keep her hands to herself.

She was like a freakin' octopus.

Throughout the movie she'd been trying to cuddle, kiss, and do any number of sickening things Kyo really, really didn't want to do in public. Or in private, for that matter. Ever.

At least, not with Kagura.

Her overenthusiastic advances had managed to knock the tub of popcorn out of Kyo's lap, onto the floor, a mere five seconds into the title sequence.

Kyo was in mourning for his popcorn.

Tohru, on the other hand, was white.

Her skin literally resembled paper.

She looked even deader than the stupid zombies in the movie.

"Honda-san?" asked Yuki, waving a hand across the girls' face. She seemed a little out of it. During the movie, her eyes had been strangely glazed, and she'd been rocking back and forth in her seat, humming to herself. "Honda-san, are you okay?"

"I'm fine…" said Tohru, voice quavering. "Just f-f-fine."

"You're shivering," Yuki pointed out.

"It's c-cold in here!"

"…No it isn't."

Torhu whimpered and cowered in her seat, placing her hands over her mouth.

"I think I'm going to be sick."

Yuki's eyes widened in alarm. "Honda-san, please hold it in. You should've told me before if you were going to be…" He broke off.

Tohru's face was looking very green.

"No, Honda-san, get it together! We'll go look for the restroom, okay? You'll be alright… You'll…" But attempting to reason with a nauseous person was like arguing with the weather. It would carry on, regardless of what you said and did, and there was nothing you could do to stop it.

It was the circle of life, baby.

Thus, in one fluid motion, Tohru Honda tilted her head, and was violently, disgustingly sick all over Yuki Sohma's lap.

Shigure, of course, thought Yuki's plight was incredibly funny. He spent a good ten minutes laughing at his cousin and the wet stain on his pants. When it seemed he was about to stop, he'd pause, take another glance at Yuki's sodden clothes, and then burst into fresh peals of laughter.

Bastard.

The laughter only stopped when Yuki punched him on the nose.

a.n: a stuper-speedy update 'cause i'm going on holiday tomorrow, so i wanted to get another chapter up xD i hope you like it~
everyone gets screwed around so much in this fic xD it's quite fun :D mwahahaha.