Kim Possible ©Walt Disney Company 2002-2007, original characters © Eoraptor, fair use laws apply.

Inspired by a user-challenge on KPslashHavenDOTnet.

A Flipped Sitch: Chapter 4

By Eoraptor

"So there's one thing I don't understand," Kim frowned as she and Ronnie reentered the Possible residence.

"What's that?" the voluptuous blonde scratched the top of her head as she waited for Kem to open the door for her, and then remembered that Kem currently thought he was 'Kim'.

"You said that Shego and I," she made a face, still believing this all to be a delusion caused by whatever had changed parts of the population of Middleton, "started dating after the sitch with the reverse polarizer. But when that happened, she was dating Barkin."

"Oh god, as if I wasn't turned around enough already," came a catty rejoinder from ahead of the teens, "You bring that up. Where's the trash can? I need to chuck…"

"Shego!" Came the cry in unison as the two heroes prepared for a fight.

They stood, for a long moment, watching Shego, who sat astride the couch, eyeing them warily, before she sighed, and dropped her head back into the couch. "So… It's really true… you are REALLY not My Kem Possible are you?"

"What was your first clue?" Kim spat acidicly, not dropping her stance despite Shego's apparent malaise.

"Well, first it was the fact that you leapt out of bed with me instead of into." She sat up, and began ticking off on her gloved fingers, "Then, there was the brain scan, It was perfectly okay, but I didn't have one of yours to compare it to, when I did, it was all wrong."

She looked wanly at the two teens and sneered, "Incidentally, Princess…" She strung out the last syllable disgustedly, "your mother needs to tighten up her record keeping department. But what really clinched it was the fight."

"What about the fight?" The redhead glared daggers.

"My Kem fights with his fists, not his feet." She snorted derisively. "And he damned sure doesn't spin and duck and flail like some sugared up little cheerleading tart. You, on the other hand, think you're Muffy the Werewolf Hunter."

"So you believe me?" Kim finally dropped her hands slightly.

"That you're not the boy I love? Yes." Shego nodded bitterly. "Your little delusion about the whole world being changed around you? Not so much."

The green mercenary rose up from the couch and strolled across the floor, glaring, "Incidentally, you almost had me with that whole 'leave the lid up' act at the lair."

"You left the lid up?" Ronnie glared at her mentally ill partner, "Kem! I thought I taught you better!"

Kim looked between the two girls and held up her hands, "Hey! I was stuck in your… erm, a Ron's body for three days. I had to be able to imitate a boy!"

"Ewwww, you… in the dy- erugh, the buffoon's body." Shego pulled a face, barely catching herself and trying to be rid of the mental image.

After a moment in which everyone managed to settle themselves slightly in the face of a greater, if still confused crisis, Ronnie began the conversation anew, "So, Shego, what convinced you that Kem isn't… well… Kem."

She sighed and shook her head, combing a hand through her hair, "Body language. Even the best actor in the world can't disguise the little things, the tilt of the hips, the poise of the shoulder, the way they throw a punch. Not all the time anyway."

"But what if Kem has a split personality?" Ronnie pointed out helpfully, only to be glared at by both Kem and Shego. "I mean... don't they… change… bodylan-…"

"I think I know my Prince Charming well enough to tell if he has deep seated psychological issues, Blondie." She growled at the sidekick.

"Incidentally," she jabbed the boy in the chest while glaring into his, or her, eyes, "I fell in love with my Kember Aaron Possible because he could have left me trapped behind the utterly insipid but very harmless mask of Miss Go, but he made that brat there turn me back."

She thumbed viciously at Ronnie and then wheeled, crossing her arms over her chest and facing away from the pair. "And I would very much like him back."

Kim held her altered body and felt very sick now. Frankly she had been all too willing to let Shego remain Miss Go. To think that these alterations thought they had been ordered by her NOT to do that left her feeling confused, and like a complete loser for the very idea. It had been bad enough when she had chipped her brothers, but now that she thought back on that; what she had wanted to do to Shego had been infinitely worse. It would have been irreversible.

Kim shook her changed head firmly, and cleared it of that thought. None of this had actually happened. These people, her best friend and her worst enemy, were simply confused by whatever calamity had befallen them.

"We'll get this sorted out," She declared. "Everything will be put back to normal."

"Now that's my Kem!" both girls cheered, and then immediately glared at one another.

Kim sighed at both of them. She just hoped she could convince them that it was her way which was the right one, and not their confused ideas about being girls, or dating her. Shaking her head she took out the "Kemmunicator" and punched up Wade.

"What's up Kem?" The chubby Hacker asked, and then he gasped, "SHEGO! Don't worry Buddy, I'm calling Global Justice! We'll get you backup ASAP!"

"So… He doesn't know?" Kim sighed and looked to her feminized companions.

"Not unless you told him, which you just did…" Shego groaned, clapping a hand to her face, "Great, another moron that I have to force to keep all this secret. Like that idiot Eddy wasn't bad enough…"

"Kem? What's… going on?" Wade looked at his cameras and thus the trio on the other end of the kemmunicator.

Kim groaned and sighed, "I need you to come to the house Wade… and in person not as holo-wade or anything. I promise I'll explain everything when you get there."

A quick brainscan from the beam built into the Kemmunicator confirmed to Wade that Kem wasn't under duress or mind-wiped, and so he only reluctantly agreed. "Fine… fine… let me prepare my mobile kit and I'll be there. Expecting an explanation."

"Yeeesh," Kim groaned, shutting off the call, "So the Drama."

Wade arrived a half hour later, and Kim quickly ushered him into the house, looking around outside behind him with a growing sense of paranoia.

"Alright, I'm going to tell you all, right here and now, what I believe to be true, and I want you all to assume that I am correct, got it?" she looked at the three others in the living room. "Ronnie has already heard this, but it wouldn't hurt for added emphasis."

She spent the next five minutes running down a brief synopsis of her life history to Shego, Ronnie, and Wade, to their increasingly worried looks. "Now… any questions which don't involve me being hit on the head or a closet case?"

She watched as all three guests tried to frame the questions she had already heard in new ways. Finally, nothing salient came from any of them and Kim nodded resolutely. "Wade, Shego already has one brain-scan of me. I want you to compare that to the one I know you took of me when you also scanned Miss Go in October. That should be enough proof that I am who I say I am."

Wade took a scan of his own with the Kemmunicator just to be sure. A moment later, "Well, there's no signs of trauma or outside influence, but there are definitely differences. So either you are who you say you are, or you believe it enough as to not make a difference."

Making a sour face, Kim grumbled, "Thank you for putting brainwashing on the table too, Wade, just what I ferociously needed!"

"I call em like I see em, Kem." The round hacker shrugged uneasily. "Programing would explain things, for instance, why Shego is here."

Kim wanted to tear her shortened hair out. She was getting really tired of the Shego/Debbie angle. But for now at least, she had no choice; Shego seemed determined to insert herself into this.

"Shego is not involved in this. Of that much I am convinced," She supplied.

Sitting down on the couch, she noticed that every time she used the word 'Shego' that Shego herself winced. Finally, she glared across at the villainess, "Should I just freaking tell him already or what? Not that I am going to stop calling you Shego, it's the only name I know you by, remember?"

The villainess gave a non-comittal wave of her hand and looked away. The redhead, on the other hand knew that this was not a gesture of permission, but one of defeated acceptance.

She knew Shego's body language well enough after four years of them trying to alternately capture or kill one another. Delusions of being lovers completely aside, it was a fairly intimate relationship for two people to have.

"Fine," She grumbled at the gesture and shook her head, pawing a hand through her wrong-hair, "Shego insists I call her Debbie because, Wade, Debbie and Kem have apparently been dating for six months. I think this weekend was supposed to be their half-iversary."

Apparently having an IQ in the low two hundreds didn't preclude the ability to be surprised, because if Wade had had anything in his mouth at that moment, he would have sprayed it across the room. "WHAT?!"

"I wouldn't call it dating," Ronnie catted as she also looked away, apparently ashamed of keeping the secret.

"Watch it, blondie…" Debbie growled at the teen dangerously.

"Enough!" Holding her hands up, Kim cut off the territorial argument as rapidly as she could. "That is neither here nor there or some junk. What I really need to know is why I am in the wrong body, and why Ron-Ronnie is also, as well as my sister and a few others. It can't be as simple as a mirror sitch or everybody would have been flipped around. Mom would be dad, dad would be mom, all that sort of thing. So I'm thinking… alternate dimension like episode number 147 of Captain Constellation and Darn Daddy for downloading all that crap into my brain last month!"

After a moment of fuming about the intrusion in her brain, Kim shook her head, "So Wade, what do you have that can scan for alternate dimensions and stuff?"

"Uh…" the pubescent hacker made a sound that made it seem like he was still hung up on Kem and Shego, but was fighting to catch up, "Nothing personally, but I know some people over at CERN who have a theory. Can I, um, get back to you?"

Sighing dejectedly, and trying not to scratch at her shaving cuts, Kim nodded from behind her borrowed face, "I guess it will have to do. Also, keep a look out for any villains messing with stuff like the Pan-dimensional Vortex Inducer. That could cause this sort of thing right? I mean, it made TV real for a week."

"Now, as to you, Shego," Kim did her best to keep her voice neutral. She didn't want to upset the violent villainess, neither out of sympathy nor out of self-preservation, "I know that you're very invested in this, but as far as I can tell, until five minutes ago, nobody but you, me and Ron-nie knew about the dating thing. I think it's best to keep up that pretense for njow. So unless you find out that Drakken really was behind this or something-,"

Kim found her feet swept out from under her and her head banging against the carpeted floor of the livingroom. She should have known Shego was every bit as fast as her.

"No!" the taller woman barked, pouncing atop her and seizing her by the collar of her mad-dog tee, "Kem is MINE. You don't get to tell me to back off because it's more convenient for you, princess…"

Kim could see a storm of confused emotions in Shego's eyes. It wasn't that she didn't totally sympathize, but, to her Shego was nothing more than a dangerous felon.

Because of that, she grabbed Shego's wrists and used her knee as leverage, inverting their positions with a flip and growling back, "I am doing this for the both of us. Unless you want Drqakken accidentally finding out because you slipped up and kissed me in front of him or something ferociously wrong like that, got it?"

"God I wish they'd shut up and kiss." Ronnie complained from her seat, not doing anything to intervene in the argument, "So much easier than watching them stifle it in public."

"No!" Both Debbie and Kim barked at the blonde, glaring at him in equal measures.

After a wary moment, Kim got her borrowed body off of Shego and straightened up, offering her a hand in spite of the tension. "Look, I get it, kinda. Your boyfriend is missing. But I'm trying to save myself, and maybe the entire world here. So keeping it on the low down seems like a better idea, natch."

Debbie wouldn't meet the eyes that belonged to Kem. She hated the idea of keeping things secret, but that was the only way they could currently be together, "Fine. But word of warning, don't be surprised to find me in the shadows. It's where I do my best work, and Kem needs me, even if you don't."

Kim found she couldn't refute the admonition. She supposed that if situations were reversed, and it was Ron, not her, who had gone missing in some cosmic way and only Shego knew where to find him, she would be giving the same sorts of warnings.

Sighing, she rubbed her face, and then realized that it still itched from the nicks she had given herself.

"Ron… I'm sorry, Ronnie. Could you try to get in touch with," suddenly she eyed Shego, and wondered if Shego was privy to the nature of Yamanouchi third-hand via her relationship or not.

She also tried to figure if the buxom Veronica Stoppable had ever even been to Japan or not. Grumbling, she rubbed her eyes with her palms. How did she have so many secrets going on in her life? She prided herself on being a basic average girl, not a clandestine superheroine with a secret lair.

Leaning over, she whispered the magical Y word in Ronnie's ear. Ronnie frowned and gave a thumbs down in response. "Nope… they don't like me very much since you and me stole Yori. I mean, I could… ya know, try to ask but…"

"Stole…?" Kim again palmed her face, "You know what, explain it later. Just… Meditate, put out some feelers, send a text, whatever."

"And what about your parents, Princess?" Again Debbie dragged out the last syllable like an irritated hiss.

"With luck," Kim scowled at the angry tone, "This will all be sorted out before my family gets home, and it will just be an amusing anecdote to tell them."