disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or its characters, and I certainly do not own Walgreens. :D
Title: Extrasensory Perception
Inspired by: A cereal commercial. Serious.
Warnings: Language, probably OOC-ness, and some other things but.

a/n: I had to. I just had to. ... I offer no explanation as to how and why there are still Walgreens, why they are specifically at Walgreens, nor why Uhura made Kirk go along for the ride. None at all.

Kirk had gotten tired of wondering why convenience stores were always located on corners, and started on with wondering why they were still around. Well sure, people still needed things they didn't have at random times, but they didn't have to have convenience stores just because they were convenient. It was way too far past the twenty-first... twentieth century for that. And why was he here with, of all the people, Spock?

"Spock," he whined, "Why are we here again?"

Spock's reply was instant, "We are here, Captain, at Walgreens because Lieutenant Uhura requested we purchase the items on her shopping list for her due to the fact that she is unable to do so herself."

The captain had a skeptical look on his face as Spock cautiously picked up a bright green package labeled Always, appearing to have an air of being rather grateful that there were only two other customers (one in the same boat as them) in the store. Odd, he mentally noted, how Spock seemed more put off by the situation then me. Must be one of those Vulcan-privacy issues.

"Why was that-"

"The reason is that," Spock interrupted, voice surprisingly low, "Uhura is in her... monthly situation."

"So why-"

"Because she does not wish to leave her quarters on the premise of purchasing feminine products when she is restricted to curfew," the Vulcan explained softly. Kirk's eyebrows met his hairline at that, and then a knowing smile spread across his face.

Hello.

"Hey Spock, are you-"

He was cut off. Again. "I am not embarrassed, that is a human quality," and after a glance at the look on Kirk's face he added, "And just because I am half human does not mean I would allow emotions to rule my actions and reactions."

Kirk just kept smiling that knowing smile.

"What else do we need?" he asked, leaning around Spock's shoulder to take a look at the list in the Vulcan's hand- Goddammit, Spock's tall. He scanned the list before he saw one of the items. He gaped for a few seconds before turning to stare at Spock. "Wait- wait- she needs us to buy-"

"Yes, Jim," he cut off the captain, "Yes."

"Why? Is she actually getting something out of you?"

It was Spock's turn to look confused, or rather, raise an eyebrow to display that confusion. "'Getting something', Captain?"

"Don't feign innocence Spock, you know damn well what I mean."

"I do?"

"Dammit Spock!"

Finally they were moving away from the feminine/sexual products and on to bodily cleansers.

"'Bodily cleansers'?" Kirk voiced, tilting his head at the way it was written on the list, "That's a strange way of putting it."

Spock didn't answer, just continued scanning the rows of shampoo until he grabbed one- "Is that her shampoo or-"

"It is not my shampoo," Spock answered, placing the lilac scented shampoo gingerly in the basket.

Liar. "So that means the strawberry-"

"No, Jim."

"God! How many shampoos must a woman have? We've already-"

"There are only three bottles."

"Stop inter-"

"I am not interrupting you, merely answering your questions and statements before you can finish them."

Kirk just glared.

Damn him.

Damn him to hell.

"Can we at least get-"

"No we can not get M&M's, it is against the diet Doctor McCoy put you on, and we do not have enough credits with us at the moment."

"So go-"

"That would take up more than the alloted time."

Within five minutes Kirk was whining again, they were at the cash register with the cashier giving them funny looks. She went to ask, "Are you-"

"No we are not," Kirk quickly intervened, knowing where she got the question from.

No they weren't.

That was not going to happen.

There were several moments of silence in which Kirk took to talking with the man behind them, the one in the same boat as he had put it earlier. Turns out his wife was almost out of her 'supply', and was getting rather bitchy about it. Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag, nag, nag. Briefly Kirk wondered if that was like Uhura was like, but decided he didn't want to know because that was his first officer's problem, not his.

"Jim."

Oh, looks like Spock was finished paying. Kirk said goodbye to his acquaintance, who just sighed and said, "Good luck with that."

Kirk returned the gesture.

And finally they were out of the godforsaken Walgreens, and Kirk decided he was going to be blunt about it.

"Spock, do-"

"No, Jim," Spock sighed, "I do not have ESP."

a/n: Uhm. Yeah. Random-ness. JES. JES.

I love commercials now. They are so much fun.

And reviews are like my pay.

So review, and I get paid.

Technically not. But its true.

Three seconds, and I get paid.

JES.

So review.