Disclaimer: is not owned by the owner of this fic, instead, it is owned by it's owner Hoshino Katsura-sensei.

=Nmubenss=

It was gonna rain today.

Allen took notice the dark gloomy clouds up ahead. It was a clear view from the open window next to where his desk and chair were situated inside the white classroom. The weather pictured the boy's mood perfectly. It was already three days passed the bastard's announcement of taking over the role of Allen's physician because of the predecessor's unmet requirements. He felt angered at first but then, after a few hours of sleep, Allen began to ponder if he could trust Kanda more than he could've trusted Dr. Tiedoll.

Allen shook his head in disdain.

He could not just equal this to some push-over problem. This was his life at stake! And neither doctor had told him what his ailment is. Kanda had yet to call him over to discuss with him about his current condition like he promised. And Dr. Tiedoll? Well, he gave up his responsibility over the boy to the jackass. Gee, what a responsible guy...

"Allen, are you alright?"

Allen snorted at the question. He wasn't bloody alright. He was experiencing Hell from all the suspense life was putting him through. He wanted to punch something. It was the only thing he could think of since, clearly, starving yourself to death or working till your arms bled or shouting at your boss would only add to the negative stuff pouring down on him.

". . ., are you alright?"

Allen still continued to ignore the concerned voice. He smirked a tired I-damn-wish-I-want-to-die smile, "I wish I were..."he muttered to himself.

"Allen!"

The voice was irritated and Allen now snapped from his reverie to face the owner of the hands that shook him open. " Le-Lenalee!" he exclaimed. Why had he not notice her in the first place? Now his best friend was looking at him with those worrying amethyst eyes of hers. Damn him and his self-pitying.

"I—I'm awake now Lenalee! I—I'm awake, r—really!" the girl's snake-like grasp on his shoulders and including the strong shake she was giving him was making speech a hard thing to accomplish. "I was just staring off and thinking; that's all." He tried his best to give her a reassuring smile but it was met with nothing but complete disagreement.

"It's...it's about master and his unending debts again." He lied. All he had been doing for a while was telling lies. "Really." He put up his most stern and truthful look at her.

Lenalee tried to put up a fight, saying to herself that that was not one of his hardest problems he faced though it was more of the annoyingly consistent problems that he always encountered. "Allen, I'm really worried about you." The girl mused, "You're not like your usual self today. It's really showing—"

"—I don't want to make anyone, especially you Lenalee, to get worried over me. It's nothing serious. It's just...troublesome." Allen interrupted, smiling that fake smile of his to his worried best friend. Lenalee concluded, through looking at those unfazed sincere eyes of his, that his choice was determined. He would not let Lenalee into what he was going through.

"You're so stubborn, as usual." Lenalee muttered before smiling back, hoping at the back of her mind that he would someday trust her to tell the things that worried him so much. Ever since she knew Allen, the boy always tried his hardest to put on his facade. He didn't want to show weakness and although the years passed and their friendship grew, his facade would always still be there; plastered on his face like glue. How she wished she could get through the stubborn fool.

"Fine Allen." Lenalee sighed out of exasperation, a hand reaching out at the sitting boy. "We have a free period so we decided to practice for the competition. Of course, we need the star pianist if we ever want to continue."

At that, Allen frowned. "Really, Lenalee" he groaned. "Why did you have to say it to them? What'll happen if we don't win because of me? Just looking at their faces...it's giving me evil vibes of what they'll do to me."

Lenalee smiled, secretly hiding the happiness of having put Allen in such a dangerous yet deserving spotlight. She wasn't going to let Allen-kun's hidden talent rot away! "All the more reason to practice till your fingers bleed."

Allen gave a wry smile at the girl, looking at the hand that reached out. "That's a scary way to put it but I have to agree." He grabbed hold of the hand and started their way towards their school's music room.

The last few notes were done and Allen shuffled them back to his small brown and worn out satchel that he bought out of a bargain at a nearby shop. He had been lucky to have found a durable bag since it had been with him since his freshmen days. He was glad that the day finally ended although, as he looked out to the sky, it was still as gloomy as ever. The weather had not lifted since morning nor did it start pouring down like cats and dogs.

Maybe it'll pour by tonight, Allen thought as he resumed stuffing more paper into his satchel.

"Squirt! Hey Squirt!" Allen cringed and he dropped his things to the floor. That voice, it was familiar and it was echoing from the nearby stairway. "Squirt! Where are you?"

Allen had been named squirt by countless of people countless of times but the voice was so familiar. He remembered that voice because the owner of the voice was the only one to have had the guts to annoy the prick that had been haunting his thoughts for several days already.

It was the crazy loon who stalked Kanda and annoyed him wherever he went.

"Hey Squirt, ya in here?" at that shout, the door suddenly slid open to the mentioned doctor. He no longer looked like his profession because he had slid out of his white lab coat to prefer to his colourful fashion with plenty of masculine jewellery on him. A single green eye widened, "There ya are Squirt! I've been lookin' for ya for hours—well, maybe an hour at most but still—Squirt, ya need to come with me."

The strange man grabbed hold to one of Allen's pale, flimsy wrist and dragged him out of the room in a heartbeat and without a moment's thought of the younger boy's reaction

Before Allen could register all the blurry colours of students staring at him to notice on the bulletin boards set on the school wall, he was already bounded tight to a red chevvy and the engines roaring back to life and in one sudden intake of air, they were off to an unknown destination.

Allen swore he was going deaf from all the Metallica music his poor ears had to take inside the fast moving vehicle. And Lavi's (Allen had recently remembered his name) vocalizing of each word that was sung was making his ears bleed. Allen counted the minutes that had passed after his recent abduction; an hour or so had passed. He was sure of it but shouldn't they be at their destination already? Allen thought that they were heading to the hospital but they should've arrived half an hour ago...

Maybe Lavi was just making them go around a few blocks a couple of times since Allen had already seen several familiar looking building over and over again.

" Mr. Lavi—"

"Dude," Lavi had a smug smile plastered on his face, one green eye left the front view in order to look at the annoyed passenger. "Jus' call me Lavi. You're makin' me feel old when ya put a 'mister' 'fore my name."

"Fine." Allen seethed, all patience thrown out the window already. "Lavi?"

"Yes, my dear little kidnapped-buddy?"

Allen gritted his teeth, "Where the bloody hell are we going? We've been going around in circles and I clearly know this isn't the route to the hospital."

Lavi chuckled to himself, wheeling the car to the right and causing the boy to swerve to the opposite direction in reaction to the sudden force. The car stopped in front of a large condominium building. It looked rather expensive because of the intricate designs and clean sidewalk streets, even the passersby seemed to hold some kind of prestigious aura as they walked along the sidewalk with their expensive jewelleries on and their purebred dogs leading the way.

"You'll see." The childish man sang to annoy the pissed off passenger.

Huntington's. Alzheimer's. Parkinson's. Schizophrenia. Dementia?

No,no,no. The Bean wasn't crazy; his body just wouldn't comply with what his brain wants. He crumpled the idea into his mind's inner trashcan. Three days. Three whole fricking days of staying locked up inside his apartment and nothing came up to his mind to solve his problem.

What the hell is wrong with the Bean?

Bit by bit, Kanda had come up with some comparable diseases that could be linked to the Bean's ailment. Most of them leading to one conclusion: They were degenerative neuro-diseases. He didn't want to believe at first that a kid, a mere child, would actual contract such a disease that should only pop out when he was in his midlife crisis. It was too early for the Bean. He couldn't even consider him as an adult yet!

No. No. He shouldn't jump to conclusions. It was unscientific. He couldn't add personal assumptions as a factor to finding a diagnosis. He needed more information, more reasons, more facts, more causes and effects, more evidence before anything can be said and done.

He looked over at the white flat screen TV he turned on recently. The patient on screen was having a severe convulsion on bed and blood was gushing out from his nose and onto his pale jaundiced skin. And House—damn it, he couldn't believe himself that he would actually go out of his way to buy the latest DVD of House...how humiliating, if not degrading—was standing on the sidelines, observing with those bluish tired yet determined eyes for every action, every remark, every single unseen clue he had yet to discover to solve his case.

Setting aside yet again another similarity with the damn fictitious doctor, he knew House was right with his action on that particular scene. He needed to observe more. Every single detail needed to find the solution. He needed something...something that House had but what was it?

"Yu Oh Yu. Where for art thou Yu!" the door forcefully slammed open and the annoying sound of a squealing rabbit broke him from his concentration. Eyebrows furrowed, eyes set on another intensive glare and a loud audible grinding of teeth was heard.

Allen gave up.

His anger had simmered down once they took the fifth staircase inside the classy building. Lavi had left him high and dry when he asked him where they were headed and he couldn't bring himself to punch the lovable young adult because somehow, he held some sort of bright aura with him that he was left to only sob at his own defeat.

He was towing himself behind the skipping man before him. He was excited about their destination; He was not. When Lavi opened one of the similar looking doors in the level, his nose cringed at the revolting smell of ash and nicotine. But he could still hold on since he was already accustomed to the smell ever since his Master first made him accompany him to his first brothel.

Allen mumbled as he heard Lavi speaking inside the foul-smelling room a few feet from him. He was saying something in an Old English tone. Sigh...the man was highly eccentric. Lavi's head suddenly popped from the open door with one hand swapping for him to hurry.

"Geez Lavi," Allen couldn't believe how he easily called his name. Since when had he come to be so close to Lavi that he could reprimand him like a close friend? He ignored it. "Why are we here again? You even kidnapped me and you still haven't answered me you know. Please you can't expect me to just hang out. " He stepped inside the room, hearing Lavi mutter a 'Sheesh, you're such a nagger', and he noticed the room was insanely clean even though it held the putrid smell of smoke. Was that even possible?

"La—Lavi, is this your place?" Allen had to ask out of sheer shock. It was a simple apartment's living room wrapped with warm cream coloured wallpaper covering the four walls and a large sliding door on the other side that made the clean veranda visible. The decor had a modern oriental feel instigating to Allen that the crazy loon was actually a neat freak. "You're actually a neat-freak!"

Lavi muffled a laugh; one emerald eye sneaked a glance to the open kitchen door to find the owner leaning on the edge of a connecting wall and sneering. "So that's the first thing you say to a person's house when you're the visitor, Bean."

Oh, so it was Kanda's home not Lavi's, Allen thought, Better. "Nope it's only to weird neat-freaks like you, Kanda."

Kanda came closer, his face unmoved. "Was that supposed to be an insult?"

One of Allen's eyes twitched, the pissed off Allen was emerging again. "Oh Yeah? Don't you think I have a right to at least criticize you for anything after you falsely claimed to tell me immediately what the hell's wrong with me? And how long has it been since you said that to me, well, I don't know...maybe three days!"

Kanda stared silently; Lavi, Allen saw from the side, was trying to grab an open bag of chips on the counter. "Is that all?"

"..." Allen panted, a little tired from his outburst.

Kanda spoke, straight faced. "Funny thing about that, since you forgot to leave your personal contact details to the information booth of the hospital and if you haven't noticed yet, I was too busy locked inside my house, thinking of a pre-diagnosis to go to your address."

Allen cringed, "Eh? But I—" Allen quickly recalled, he was in a hurry those two days he was present in the hospital because he was late for work and he thought that once the check-up was over, he could go back to his seemingly normal life. "T—then you could've contacted Master—"

"Like hell I will!" the Japanese Doctor shouted, "Like I would fucking attempt to call that fucking bastard again."

Grey eyes slid down to watch the clean oaken floorboard, he kinda...would've...completely understood Kanda's mindset towards his Master. "I...I..."

"Neuro-degenerative."

Allen was at a loss for words but he knew what that meant. Neuro meant that it was all about the nervous system and how the body is controlled by the several nerves, neurons and other complicated stuff he didn't know.

"Something's wrong with your nervous system and it's making you body movements and reflexes degenerate thus the reason for all your shaking and muscle twitches. And if I'm correct—which I know, I am—then your 'problem' will slowly eat away your other bodily functions as well if not treated. But then again, treatment is almost impossible as this disease seems not to be found in the books nor in recent studies."

Allen stood still.

"In short, you're gonna die Bean."

The rain finally fell on the cracked sidewalk streets of the city. It fell at a timely event. And Allen felt how right it was that the rain covered up for his inability to cry. It was an unknown factor why he couldn't cry. He couldn't cry for any reason at all.

He couldn't cry even when his original parents left him for dead.

He couldn't cry even when he lived off the streets as a scavenger.

He couldn't cry even when he was constantly sent to different orphanages and escaping after a day or two.

He couldn't cry even when his beloved Mana died before his eyes.

He couldn't cry even when he was sent to a foreign country by a man he barely knew.

He couldn't cry even when he was forced to do hard work at a young age.

He couldn't cry even when he was all alone.

He couldn't cry even when realizing he was gonna die.

Only the constant splashing of the puddles he stepped on reminded him that he was running; running away from the truth that hit him like a brick.

He was gonna die.

And that was enough for him to run away without having to hear another word from the doctor. Running was the thing that took up for his inability to shed tears.

How cruel this was. His life was a joke! He didn't live an ordinary life like what others had. Instead, he lived a life of being abused and not experiencing what he wanted most: Family. He could've just ignored the curiosity and lived without knowing the truth. Everything could've just been semi-normal but he guessed that this was punishment for pushing the wrong buttons...

"Woah, what do we have 'ere?" a snicker echoed in front of him. He never stopped to know who it was.

"Gehehe, the midget! The Midget!" it was another laughter from a different voice.

"Yup, that's right Devi. It's the Midget a year below us." Allen ignored them. "Hey you Midget!"

"Hey!"

"HEY!"

"Gehehe, he's ignoring you Jas..."

"Shut the fuck up Devi." He felt a hard tug and his face was made to feel the pounding droplets of water. "Ya think ya've got guts that you can ignore me, eh Midget? You're fucking delirious!"

He felt a punch unto his left cheek. "Fucking Delirious! Fucking Delirious! Gehehe"

"Hey now, no reaction? You must like pain. What do you call a guy who likes pain again Devi?" another blow to Allen's lower gut.

"Gehehe, a Masochist!" a kick to the boy makes him fall down to the sidewalk. "A Masochist!" a kick to his eye. "A Dumb Masochist!" another blow that leads Allen to roll with his back to ground, he felt the sordid taste of copper flowing out of his mouth. A sudden drive in him made him gape something audible.

"The damn Masochist wants to tell us something!" the seemingly smarter of the duo was preparing to punch him again.

"Live Allen..."

The rain kept pouring painfully, every drip unbearable and numbing but then he felt something. He never felt something this powerful in him before; a drive that kept Allen's heart pumping harder and adrenaline forcing him to block the upcoming punch.

He blocked it with a bloodied arm and the attackers were surprised. He was glaring at them though his vision was now hazed by the sight of red, speaking the words that were on the tip of his tongue, "I...I'm gonna fuckin' beat the crap out of ya!"

"Ehhh? " the opposing guys laughed wildly. "Well, sorry but you ain't got a chance in this world." His other free hand was raised, ready to retaliate and Allen, in his delirious state, had taken an offensive stand to counter him. His small framed shoulders huddled together, both arms close to his chest and drunken eyes set in front of him.

"Stop it!" a resounding feminine voice. Allen slowly turned a bloodied eye to the source and there standing elegantly yet firm was his best friend, Lenalee. She was shivering with hidden fury directed towards the attackers. "I've called the authorities and they're coming here already. Don't even think that you two are going to escape again."

"Che, so what about the damn cops? You think Devi and me are afraid of a bunch of law-restricted idiots? Tough chance, bitch!"

"You're just trying to act as if it won't affect you. Well, I wouldn't mind it if this incident happens to reach the ears of your other siblings."

"You wouldn't dare."

Smirking, the female ventured deeper still with her amethyst eyes set ablaze with an unknown innuendo. "I'd tell my niisan 'Oh Niisan! Niisan! These two were hurting my best friend Allen and then...sniff...they were going to do me next if it weren't for the police." The tone of her voice simmered to a graver tenor. "And you know that my Niisan has a lot of connections with very important people."

The looks of their faces were fuming and they were taking a few steps back. "You...you're that crazy headed Komui's fucking sister!"

The girl fought back, amethyst eyes burning with hidden furry. "Be lucky that you're just dealing with the police but don't you ever try bullying my friends again."

"Che." The slightly more intelligent of the two spat on the ground and then calling for his other companion to retreat. "Fucking bitch, we'll remember this."

Lenalee remained stern as she watched their retreating backs. She turned to face Allen who had one bloodied eye, blue splotches on his left cheek and, Lenalee guessed, a few broken ribs due to Allen's bloody coughing fits. "God, Allen, really...I know it's bad to ask something personal but I'm worried about you and I can't help but worry about you more if you don't tell me anything."

Allen kept staring at the ground, frozen.

"I'll wait until you say it yourself. I'm not gonna prod into your personal life even if I'm your best friend." She outstretched her hand to the boy, asking him to stand up. "Come on, Allen, I'll take you to Niisan to fix those wounds."

Still looking at the ground, Allen still had the partial consciousness to feel ashamed of himself in front of the girl. "I'm fine. I can walk on my own." And he did begin to stand and limp to the other side of the alley way, and into the open streets.

After that, he became deaf; noticing a slight noise that sounded like his name being called by Lenalee. He felt another kind of numbness that was different from the previous pangs of pain brought.

And then, everything went black...

Allen groaned...

God it hurt so much.

It hurt to move.

It hurt to breathe.

It hurt everywhere.

But that was his only note that told him that he was somewhat alive.

Gradually, he willed himself to move a little first by opening his eyes to the blurry white world. A hazy figure was leaning to the white walls. He heard the beeping sound of the heart monitor and felt the IV solution dropping gradually inside his veins. Slowly, the figure became more apparent as blue became clearer in the figure.

"You abruptly ran away and then I find you strapped in a hospital bed, holding to your dear fucking life after you were found half dead in an alleyway by some measly little smart-assed girl." The sarcasm didn't hide the anger seeping out in each word the visitor said. Allen was relieved somehow; he knew that mockery almost too well.

"That's nice to know, Kanda." Allen smiled through his hoarse voice that sounded so foreign to him. How long had he been out? Where is he anyway?

There was a comfortable silence surrounding the room. At that moment, Allen was just glad that he was somewhere safe and forgetting about his dying predicament. But then, there was always this slight pang of worry that told him, was this where he was going to watch his body and mentality deteriorate then slowly wait for himself to die soon? Inside the white walled room of a stagnant hospital alone and without love? All his plans of going out and exploring the world were down the drain with his condition. It was so unfair! He wished he had some time even if just to visit Mana.

"—Che, you're such a Bean!"

"Excuse me? I'm not a Bean!"Allen retorted, he wanted to shout in front of the blue haired Japanese doctor's face but realized after a jolt of pain in his left arm and right eye (He hadn't realized until that moment that he was partially blind due to a patch of gauze covering his eye). "Ouch. Damn it, stop calling me Bean!"

Kanda stared at him impartially, making the hair at the back of Allen spine to stand up. It was after his piercing blue gaze that he spoke again, "I've been calling you 'Bean' for a couple of minutes already, knowing that you'd react to it instantly. You're losing focus of the present."

At the Japanese's statement, Allen could feel himself turn cold. Was this another symptom of neuro-deterioration-crap? This was bloody hell. "But, I'm gonna say that it may be because you've just woken up and need time to adjust to the environment, after all, two consecutive surgeries in one night meant that you've lost double the blood.

"Two surgeries in one night? How the heck am I supposed to pay for it all?" he groaned. And Kanda though emotionless as he was, had an amused twinkle in his cobalt blue eyes as he stared at the suffering Bean.

"Again, you amaze me with your simplicity Bean." Again, another pause. "Look, because of your impulsiveness and the fact that you seem to have a mentality of a child..."

"I'm aware that only you, Doctor Kanda, think that much of me." Allen interrupted a bit.

Ignoring the slight twinge that said to smack the back of the Bean, he leaned closer to the boy to give off personal authority and seriousness that the conversation emitted. Oh, this was no laughing matter indeed. "Bean, because I told the old man that I'd take all responsibilities that has anything to do with your health, I'll continue being your physician whether you like it or not."

Tired eyes widened, flustered at how dedicated the man was to his patient, to his profession. "But what about the payme—."

"My innate curiosity with your case is much more important than money. I can just make you my maid for all I care."

Allen gave a lopsided grin. He was stuck between anger for making him into his personal slave or grateful that he was giving him a big discount for diagnosing him. "Umm...sure, thanks Kanda."

He tucked himself further down his hospital blanket, hiding the developing flush that threatened to show to the visiting physician. He was beginning to get used to the grumpy, ill-tempered Kanda but now that he had seen the dedicated Doctor Kanda...was he beginning to admire him? Oh God no.

A cold, large hand was suddenly placed atop the boy's unwounded forehead, "Che, you're developing a fever. Get some rest Bean. I'll get a nurse to check on your vitals later."

=Numbness=

Author's Note: Okay, this thing has been stored in my laptop for, like, months. But heck, I couldn't find the time or the energy (both physically and mentally) to post this chapter. And it's been sooo long! Dammit, why'd I even choose a course that made me wake up early and go home late into the evening... I am so sorry for those that have waited damn long for me to update and I hope that this would somehow suppress your urge to kill me.

And Yeah, you might be wondering 'Whuut? Is Allen gonna die? Is this a death fic? Where the hell's the warning?' Well, to tell the truth, I'm still not sure whether I should make this a death fic or no-anyways, hopefully when time and inspiration allows me to continue typing, the plot thickens to parts where they might go to England, conspiracies, drug abuse, experimentation, Lavi funny-ness (or maybe it should be Wilson now, hehe), and kissy parts between Yu and his little irritating Moyashi.

If you still love me, wish me luck, inspiration and reviews.

( Does Handsigns and Throws Smokebomb) SARABA! * Voooossshhhh *