A/N: Surprise, surprise! Another chapter. It seems to have been about seven months...Yikes. Not that anyone is really reading this, but my apologies all the same. Here it is.
Kina: (runs into room) Mail call!
Guthan: We get mail here? That's…odd.
Kina: (handing out letters) One for Galaxy…one for Torag…two for Verac, and…one for Iban.
Iban: I got a letter?
Kina: Yep.
Iban: Wow…(stares at letter) Someone actually likes me.
Kina: I'm sure lots of people like you.
Iban: (shrugs)
Kari: Who's your letter from, Galaxy?
Galaxy: My mom. She wanted to make sure I packed enough towels.
Kari: Towels? Why?
Galaxy: (shrugs) In case I decided to go swimming?
Kari: Weird.
Torag: Mine seems to be a bill…addressed to FriedHam38. Does anyone here know a FriedHam38?
Everyone else: No.
Torag: Hm. Well, he appears to owe the Varrock Cooking Guild twelve thousand gold pieces.
Guthan: Glad I'm not him.
Verac: Mine are fanmail!
Ahrim: You have fans?
Verac: Sure. You don't have to sound so surprised. It's not that strange.
Ahrim: Let me see. (grabs letters) 'Dear Verac…You are a complete moron who seems to be incapable of intelligent thought. I think your armor is ridiculous, and your mace is stupid and badly designed. I think you would be a talented ringmaster at the circus. Maybe you should apply at Balthazar Beauregard's Big Top Bonanza. Highest regards, pwnzome_turkey176.'
Verac: He called me talented.
Ahrim: I really don't think that was supposed to be a compliment.
Verac: Huh.
Kina: Hey, Iban, what's your letter say?
Iban: 'Dear Iban…It has recently come to our attention that you have left the Underground Pass. We would like to inform you that your attendance there is vital to the Underground Pass Quest, and we request that you return there immediately. Sincerely, The Kandarin Employment Agency.'
Kina: But…you have to leave?
Iban: They want me to.
Kina: Do you want to?
Iban: No.
Kina: I think we should have a word with them! Pompous, controlling ninnies…
Kari: I don't think they'll listen to you, Kina.
Kina: I DON'T CARE! He doesn't want to go back, he shouldn't have to!
Iban: That's nice of you, Kina, but I don't think they'll listen to you.
Kari: That's what I just said.
Kina: Does anyone know where this 'Employment Agency' is?
Dharok: It's in East Ardougne, in the castle.
Everyone: (stares at Dharok)
Dharok: What?
Ahrim: How did you know that?
Dharok: Uh…I applied for a job once…
Torag: Really?
Dharok: Yeah…they rejected me, though.
Galaxy: Why?
Dharok: I, uh…I failed the IQ test…
Ahrim: (straight-faced) No way. Not you.
Guthan: (guffawing)
Kina: Right, people. We're going to Ardougne.
Karil: Why?
Kina: To talk to these employment people, obviously.
Karil: Oh…right…
Galaxy: Kina, are you sure that's a good idea? They're the authorities when it comes to employment.
Kina: So? Defying authorities is good for you.
Talenith: Only so often…
Kina: Right. Like now.
Kari: I'm all for defying the authorities, but how do you plan on changing their minds?
Tylixe: Who cares? Let's just bomb the place. Strength through chaos, after all.
Kina: Hm…I don't know…Might cause a bit too much ruckus.
Talenith: You were actually considering it?
Kina: Sure. Could be effective.
Talenith: (stares at Kina) You. Are. A. Psycho.
Kina: Um…yes. What's your point, exactly?
Talenith: Never mind.
Kina: So…shall we go?
Iban: Why not just write them a letter?
Kina: Oh! That's a great idea, Iban! I think I'll do that…(gets pen and paper and scribbles out a letter) Excellent!
Ahrim: (grabs letter) 'Dear Employment Agency peoples…I am greatly displeased with your treatment of Iban. It is unpleasant, rude, and altogether too controlling. You should let him do whatever he wants. In fact, I would like to request that he work for me at my game show studio in Falador. With much indignity, Kina Kalamari.'
Kina: Yep. You like?
Ahrim: Well…
Kari: I'm not sure how effective it'll be, Kina.
Kina: Well, we'll find out. (runs to door) Hey, Postie Pete!
Postie Pete: (stops outside of door) What can I do for you, ma'am?
Kina: I need this letter mailed to the Kandarin Employment Agency in Ardougne, please.
Postie Pete: Of course, ma'am. (takes letter) Have a nice day.
Kina: You too! (comes back in)
Karil: How handy that he happened to be walking right past us.
Torag: Yep. Handy-dandy.
Kina: Handy-dandy-candy, all right.
Rest of room: (stares at Kina)
Kina: What?
Talenith: 'Handy-dandy-candy' isn't a word.
Kina: No, it's three words. Can't you count?
Talenith: Yes, I can, thank you! But 'handy-dandy-candy' is still a stupid thing to say.
Kina: Then why have you said it twice already?
Talenith: (stony silence)
Tylixe: Are we actually going to do anything, or do you just plan to sit around all day arguing?
Kari: Ty's right. We should do something.
Ahrim: Such as…?
Kari: (shrugs)
Verac: Ooh, I know! I know! (raises hand eagerly)
Kina: Yes, Verac?
Verac: Let's visit our graves!
Rest of room: …
Verac: What? You don't like it?
Galaxy: I think it's more the way you said it, Verac. It just sounds really weird like that.
Verac: But it's true.
Kari: Yeah. Doesn't make it not weird.
Torag: I kind of like that plan, actually. We've never actually gone to see them.
Kina: Okey-dokey! We've got ourselves a plan. Let's go!
Tylixe: I'll get my spade.
(Two hours later)
Karil: (flops down on barrow) I'm so tired!
Guthan: Oh, come on, you wussy! It was just a bit of walking.
Karil: And there were those scary ghosty things in the swamp.
Galaxy: They weren't really that scary…
Iban: You want scary? You should see the Underground Pass. There's undead all over the place.
Karil: Ah!
Guthan: Wuss.
Kina: Come on, guys. Let's do this thing before we run out of daylight.
Tylixe: (digs into barrow)
Everyone: AAHHH! (falls in as the top collapses)
Kina: (picks self up) Right then. Here we are. (looks around) Kinda creepy down here.
Karil: Oh, look. It's a coffin thingy. (peers in)
Ghost Karil: (comes out) You dare disturb my rest!
Karil: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (hides behind rest of group)
Verac: But Karil, it's you.
Karil: (whimpers)
Ahrim: I believe this has already but said, but…Karil, you're a complete pansy.
Karil: I'm not a flower!
Ahrim: …That's not what I meant.
Ghost Karil: You dare disturb my rest!
Talenith: Didn't he already say that?
Torag: Uh…yeah.
Kina: Who programmed these things?
Torag: Programmed them? What do you mean?
Kina: Well, they're obviously not you…
Ahrim: Duh.
Kina: So that means they're some sort of hologram.
Dharok: Hollow what?
Kina: No, not hollow. A hologram. An image that's projected but isn't actually real.
Ahrim: An illusion. Like a spell.
Kina: Right. So who set these things up?
Guthan: Who knows.
Kina: You don't know? They're your graves!
Verac: So?
Kina: …
Ghost Karil: You dare disturb my rest!
Kari: Oh, shut up.
Ghost Karil: You dare disturb my rest!
Galaxy: Is that all it can say?
Kari: Seems that way. I think it may start getting annoying soon.
Tylixe: Isn't it supposed to attack us? For disturbing its rest or whatever?
Ahrim: Probably.
Tylixe: So why isn't it?
Kina: Maybe it's malfunctioning.
Karil: Make it go away…
Tylixe: We'd have to kill it to do that.
Karil: Then kill it! It's creeping me out. I'm not supposed to be purple, and see-through, and all…weird.
Tylixe: Fine.
(Ten minutes later)
Karil: I never want to do that again.
Guthan: Wuss.
Karil: I am not! Let's go over to your barrow and see how tough you are then.
Guthan: …I'll pass.
Karil: Wuss.
Guthan: (glares)
Kina: Is everyone done here?
Karil: (nods emphatically)
Everyone else: (looks at Karil)
Karil: Oh, stop it. Maybe I'm just tired. You ever think of that?
Talenith: That's not really likely. I think we all know what your problem is.
Karil: (sulks)
Iban: Are we leaving, then?
Kina: Looks like. (raises arm and points) Troops, move out!
Guthan: Um…
Ahrim: We're not your troops.
Kina: Never said you were.
Ahrim: We're not troops.
Kina: So?
Ahrim: So don't…(sighs) You know what, never mind. I think I'll give up trying to teach you common sense.
Kina: I'm sorry…Common what?
Ahrim: (facepalm)
Verac: Aren't we going home yet? I didn't bring any-
Everyone else: Pretzels.
Verac: …Yeah.
Kina: Yes, Verac, we're going home. (heads for the gate) Forward march! I wanna be home before dark.
A/N: So if no one's holding a grudge for my lack of updates, reviews would be nice. =)
Oh, also, if anyone's username really is "pwnzome_turkey176" or "FriedHam38", I didn't mean to accidentally insert them into my fic. If there's really a problem with it, I'll change it.