WHOMPING WILLOW RAP

Whomping Willow, yeah that's my name; kicking asses is my game/ I beat Harry Potter and the Muggle's daughter, I'll do the same to you, come in for the slaughter/ I got forty-nine limbs all for beating monkeys; they're even good for when I get the munchies/ I'm the one you never think about, the willow where I got all the doubt/ Guess what? Guess what? Youse about to get SLAMMED!

Boom, boom, bam, that's my jam, I got forty-nine limbs to provide the slam/ Come on Harry Potter, Snape's teasing again; he's waiting for your shit to hit the fan/ You gonna get him? Gonna get him? HELL NO!

Dumbledore's got Harry wrapped around his finger; he's even going to be his wedding singer/ I'm just sitting, watching it all; watching everything as Draco gets against the wall/ Neville just lost control of his broom, look's like he'll be nobody's groom/ Luna Lovegood spins a tale that no one knows; I guess that's how that freak show rolls/ Got people getting beat down by dragons and shit, just try to avoid his fiery spit/ Diggory died, now he's gone away, looks like he'll have no kids to give away/ The Sorcerer's Stone still has it's magic; the werewolf Lupin is the one who hits its crackit/ Lupin's got a period and all, yet he lets that Pettigrew take the fall/ And Snape's just standing, falling around, too bad ole Harry didn't hit the ground

Boom, boom, bam, that's my jam, I got forty-nine limbs to provide the slam/ Voldemort and Harry, they went to battle; everyone thought ole Harry would get the paddle/ But this is my version, my rap you see, since that battle was the last of me/ Potter got his ass put in the ground, and now he'll never make a sound, and I'm just staring, not being found, for my good rap talents or my slamming power, or maybe seeing you go whoops! in the north tower/ Is this the end, because I don't know, I'm just a major part of the show/ No one sees me, cares that I'm here, I'll show them, and I'll make it clear/ Boom, boom, bam, that's my jam, I'll be whomping your ass as fast as I can/ Now get the fuck on, you're ruining my time, ditching on this shit like it's making a dime/ It ain't makin' nothin', just a bunch of noise, your just mad 'cause it ain't got naked boys/ that's better off if you're super small, or if you're thinking that Harry's got it all/ Guess what? Guess what? It's over now, so stop reading, go home, and forget about me, just the best of the best, the 'kick your ass' tree. You got SLAMMED!