WITHOUT A PADDLE - by NotTasha
Thank you so much! Your reviews are wonderful
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PART 2: BOBBING

"We could call for assistance," Zelenka said quietly after a moment.

"And have to put up with the ridicule of everyone?" McKay commented as he sat back in a quick motion, which made the canoe bobble. They gripped the gunwales, waiting for the motion to stop.

"It will get us out of this mess quicker," Zelenka said philosophically.

"Not on your life!" Rodney returned. "Sheppard will be unbearable. We lost both paddles? How lame is that? And you know how Lorne can beat a dead horse. You'll never hear the end of it."

Zelenka had to admit that he really didn't want the major to know anything about this little escapade. The man would go on for days, months. Zelenka would never live it down.

"The starfish is going to get tired sooner or later," McKay tried. "It's going to drop the paddle, right?"

"It might take some time." Radek groaned and closed his eyes. Why did things like this always have to happen to him? "So, how do we get home? We could just allow the boat to drift, perhaps? It looks as if the current would bring us back."

"Uh, probably not a good idea," Rodney said. "Look at where the paddle's going."

Radek looked. The paddle was turning, coming back around, caught in a slow circling current. Radek didn't want to be caught in an endless loop with the irritating Canadian.

He lifted his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "We could swim," he mumbled.

"It's a long way," Rodney said.

"Paddle with our arms?"

"Like I said, it's a long way." Rodney blew out a breath. "But seems to be our only real alternative right now."

Zelenka settled his glasses again and considered the distance. It would be a long crawl home. And he wondered how the Ancients would have dealt with such matters. Certainly they had been on the lagoon as well.

He turned and studied the wall, and his gaze lit upon something. He smiled, a little wickedly as he realized he had the solution and Rodney had no ideas. "Ha!" he exclaimed as he pointed. "There it is!"

"What? Do you see another starfish?"

"No. Stairs."

"Stairs?" Rodney echoed. "Do you know what you're talking about?"

"Yes, see?" And Zelenka pointed to the narrow steps that were cut into the wall, reaching from the water level to the top of the wall. They weren't easy to see, hidden in the structure of the wall, but once one realized their purpose, the stairs became apparent.

Rodney glared at the wall, ready to dismiss the notion, but his expression changed, and he replied, "Well, what do you know? Stairs!" He smiled. "I suppose the Ancients needed to access the interior of the seawall at times. It makes sense. Good thing we spotted them, huh?"

"Yes, very good," Zelenka replied darkly.

They had to guide the canoe a short distance, crawling along the wall with their hands as the boat bobbed. And once they reached the stairs, Zelenka held the boat in place as Rodney climbed out onto the little landing.

And then it was Radek's turn.

The canoe nearly went out from under him when Zelenka disembarked. He had one foot on the landing when the canoe suddenly slid away from the wall. The other foot was plunged into the water as he scrambled for dry land, grasping onto McKay to keep from falling in. Unfortunately, that caused Rodney to rock forward. His head dunked into the water and he came up sputtering and shouting.

Rodney blamed Radek's lack of balance and poor coordination.

Radek proclaimed Rodney the worst 'boat holder ever'.

"Who was closer to imminent death?" McKay yelled, jabbing a thumb at his soaked head. "I could have drowned! Luckily you're only wet to your knee. But, if you'd gone in a little deeper, you might have been in danger of drowning, too!"

Radek said a few things that he shouldn't have, but since the words were in Czech, he didn't have to be accountable for them. Rodney narrowed his gaze at him, making Zelenka wonder just how much the Canadian understood.

It would be like McKay to learn Czech just to spite him.

"I'm wet!" Rodney whined as he climbed the stairs to the top of the wall. "You promised that I wouldn't get wet!"

"You're not all wet," Radek bargained as he followed.

"I'll tell you who's 'all wet'," Rodney responded.

"You didn't get your new boots wet," Radek reminded, seeing the bright side. "Just your head. Not very important."

Rodney grumbled, so Radek kept going. "And so, what does it matter if you have a wet head? You don't have much hair to worry about."

"At least, I don't have clown hair," Rodney snapped.

"My hair is not clown hair!" Radek rebuked. "You are jealous."

"Your English is slipping. The word you're looking for is 'grateful'. And hey, look at that!"

Annoyed, Radek planned to ignore McKay, but instead looked where the man had indicated.

A short distance from them, on the other side of the sea wall, the bird perched and watched them.

It was shiny, sleek black, with big yellow patches that swooped back from its eyes. Its beak was pointed and bright orange. Its feet were yellow. It reminded Radek a little of a myna bird his aunt had owned. He could still recall the husky voice of the bird as it called "hal" to anyone who entered her little sweet shop.

"He looks tired," Rodney said, water still tripping from his hair.

McKay was right. The bird hunched on its perch, looking miserable and weary. "Yes," Radek said. "It has flown a long way. It is exhausted."

"Poor thing," Rodney said. "Think he'll be okay? He looks like he needs some help."

"I will help it. You will stay here," Zelenka commanded, pointing a finger at McKay.

"What?"

"I need you to keep its attention."

"Keep his attention?" Rodney repeated. "How do you want me to do that?"

"Just stand there!" Radek whispered. "Talk to it. Let me get to its other side. I can capture it."

"Why are you the guy who gets to capture interesting things?"

"Because you are afraid of birds, and I know how to handle them," Radek went on. "Now stand here and stop being so irritating!"

"Radek," Rodney stated. "How am I supposed to do that?"

Radek sighed. He had no idea.

"Radek! Protect your eyes!"

Zelenka gritted his teeth to keep from saying anything. Slowly, he edged along the walkway, giving the bird as much room as possible. It inched away from him as he passed it, but it didn't fly.

Rodney did as he was told, and remained in place, and talked quietly. "Pretty bird," he said chirpily. "Good birdie. Nice birdie. Polly want a cracker? Not that I have a cracker or anything, but if I did, I'd give it to you. Radek, do you have a cracker? I think he wants a cracker."

The patter seemed to be working. The bird was ignoring Radek and putting its attention on Rodney. It cocked its head at the Canadian, turning its head one way and then the other, watching him with an inquisitive gaze.

"Good birdie. Nice birdie. Don't try to peck my eyes out, okay? Seriously, I have this reoccurring nightmare about birds coming at me. They just keep swooping out of the sky and landing on my head. I try to swat them off, but there's too many, and nobody will help me. There's dozens of them, and they hang onto my hair and start to peck my eyeballs out. That's usually when I wake up. Sometimes though, I don't wake up right away and it goes on for a while."

Now that he was in position, Radek eased down to his knees and inched toward the exhausted bird, moving his hands ever closer.

"You wouldn't do peck me like that, would you? I know you're hungry and all, but you don't have to go there. There are a lot of things to eat here that are better than eyeballs."

Radek moved stealthily, holding his breath.

"There can't be a lot of nutrition in eye-juice. What sorts of things do you eat back on the mainland?"

Closer closer

"I hope you eat bugs. Lots of bugs. Maybe snakes. Do you eat snakes?"

Inch by inch.

"You look like you might eat snakes. Just the little ones."

Slowly slowly

"I don't think we have anything like snakes in the mess hall. Maybe you'd like tofu? We have way too much of that."

Radek saw his chance. In a flash, he lurched the last inches, one hand keeping himself from falling into the open sea, the other reaching out for the bird. It hopped, but he grabbed, and clasped the back of the bird, holding its wings in place.

It squawked and struggled, but Radek pulled the bird quickly to his chest, holding it near. Terrified, it nipped at one hand, but not hard enough to do any damage. It struggled and Radek felt its heart beating wildly.

"Is he okay?" Rodney whispered.

Radek looked up to find Rodney on hands and knees crawling judiciously toward them. Zelenka checked the bird again. Its head turned one direction and then another and its clear eyes blinked. "I believe it is going to be okay," Radek decided.

"Oh, good," Rodney proclaimed, sidling up to Radek and sitting beside him. He watched the bird with the same curiosity that the bird used when watching him.

And for a minute or two, they sat on the wall while the bird continued to calm. Its heartbeat slowed, and it relaxed a little in Radek's careful hands. Rodney, surprisingly, said nothing.

"Are you going to keep him?" Rodney finally asked, learning close to the bird. It didn't seem to mind him.

"He has flown a long distance and will need to build up his strength," Radek said. "But I will return him to the wild once he is well enough."

"Oh," Rodney responded, sounding a little glum. "You're going to let him go."

"It would be the best thing for him." Zelenka ran a thumb gently over the bird's head. "But it may take some time for him to recover. He will need rest and food. Maybe for several days." He raised his gaze to watch Rodney, seeing the wet-headed physicist's earnest expression. He wondered if Rodney had any idea how innocent and childlike he appeared as he watched the bird's movements.

How could someone be so afraid of everything, and yet have such a soft heart for so many things?

"You can help me," Zelenka offered.

Rodney looked instantly grateful, but instead hedged with, "Well if I have time."

"Yes," said Radek. "If you have time."

Rodney stood, brushing at his pants, and said, "I've seen some wire baskets that could be tied together and used as a cage and Oh! I have this shallow plastic cup that can be a birdbath or a drinking bowl or something." He waved a hand. "Whatever."

"I'm certain they will be useful," Radek continued, cradling the little bird. It was totally calm now, at ease in his hands.

Rodney hooked a hand under Radek's elbow to help him up.

"I think you should call him Bob," Rodney proclaimed.

"Bob?" Zelenka grumbled. "Why?"

Rodney shrugged. "It's a good name."

Radek sighed. "Let us get him someplace safe. Maybe I'll let you feed him."

Rodney smiled brightly, but the expression fell as he turned and stepped back toward where the starfish still gnawed on the city. "I have take care of this," he muttered. "I need to get that creature off of the city, then I have to figure out just how much damage has been done, and get it repaired. And then I need to discover a means to stop these things from getting on the city. Look at what it's already done. This has to be fixed now. You go on ahead."

Radek paused a moment, seeing the mess of things the damaged wall, the loose canoe, the floating paddle, the other one jammed up under a vicious starfish (it seemed to be getting a little frisky with it). This would take some explaining.

"Rodney, perhaps I should stay and assist you with"

"Radek, just take care of your little birdie. I'll take care of this." Rodney was already crouched beside the damage done by the echinoderm.

Radek held the bird to his chest. "Call someone, Rodney," he said. "Get a team out here. You can always come out later to supervise." He said the word as if he knew Rodney would relish it. And then, he added, "I need your help with the bird right now. I cannot fix a cage while I am holding him."

With that, Rodney seemed to come to a decision. He stood and turned and smiled that stupid smug smile. "Very well then, since you need my help and all, I'll come. You'd be lost without me you know? Up a creek without a paddle and all that."

And together they headed back to the city. And Zelenka sighed, hoping that he wasn't getting himself into even more difficulties.

THE END- I hope you liked this little story